A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
I presumed you misunderstood me as there was no response to anything other than the Krandor wish.
I was just waiting for your answer to float to the top of the 8-ball. When it did, I answered you.
No, actually I didn't realize that bad things could not happen to an NPC/possible PC. I could see he was a protected species, but I didn't draw the correlation out. :)
We seldom see the lumberjacks for the forest. Krandor is like the spotted owl, only without the feathers or basically anything bird-like.
It would be the same as if someone wished Jay to be in love with Krandor. I would have said "No."
Me personally, I'd go for it. Sometimes bad things happen to good PCs. (Besides, then I'd get to strangle him in a jealous rage.)
It is possible, but you would have to add your adventure points to your strength. Your hands are still a bit weak, and with his regenerating thing, you would just give Krandor a red neck. So, if as a GM, I have Jay strangled in a jealous rage before the adventure ends, you would be fine with it? Just curious.
<sigh> I think you missed the point of my asking for that. I didn't expect Krandor to wind up on latrine digging duty by any stretch of the imagination. I threw that in as simply another dig at him---much as Jay has been doing ever since super_miles left and Krandor became an NPC---not because that's what I wanted or expected to happen.
Imaginative points are like trees. Their roots lie in the darkness whilst their leaves wave in the sun, and to those who suspect nought, they have an attractive and pleasing appearance, but you never really know what they are thinking, as I do you.
Likewise, the date with Lerotra'hh was tossed in as well, just to be somewhat silly; I sure didn't expect that one to come true as well. By the way, I tip my beret (blah, berets) to you for eventually choosing that one; it was a rare and complete surprise, and I generally appreciate surprises, be they good or ill.
I am surprised that you're surprised. I often offer a carrot dangled before adventurers to keep them plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it. We all wish we could wear those silly French hats without having to carry a rifle to keep from being beat up.
I only questioned the response because the creature's response clearly was wrong on several counts, and I'm extremely captious and a stickler for continuity. Someone's gotta keep you honest! (Next time just say "that's the way the magic works. Do you want to use your wish to find out the reason?") *L*
Honesty is the deniability of reality. What I lack, I deny.
"How goes the front lines, Master Wizard?"
"I've seen things you wouldn't believe, Jax. Through the darkness of futures past, we are beset on all sides by the iniquities of those who seek to destroy us. I will strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger, those who attempt to poison what we have here in Khazan," says Grutoss, clenching his fist. His white hair is as sharp as his features. "Death is not the worst fate. There are things more horrible than death. You can't imagine."
Amroth stands silent, deciding to hold his tongue, or cheek, in his case, and rubs the side of his face in thought. Jay digs into his pocket for a breath mint, which seems to elude him.
"That was it? Other than putting up with Krandor, there was little trouble for those of us standing here. It's the ones that aren't around anymore that have the problems.... Thank goodness trustworthy sorts are readily available in local drinking establishments."
Cobalt nods in agreement and raises one eyebrow, curious about Jay's dispassionate mutterings. "Yes, you're quite right, Jay. You're no Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n (pronounced correctly) [a reference to eickeric's PC in Goblin Lake, Part Deux --ed.], but I am sure you did your best, given the circumstances. A Herculean genius, I say!" Cobalt is beset with amusement for a moment, which seems lost on all but a very select few.
"For those of you who do not know me, I am Cobalt Darkwater Director of the City of Khazan Adventuring Service. We are the lords of Order here in Khazan, the enemies of Chaos, the jugglers of Truth, the molders of Peace, yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the rest," Cobalt says, enunciating each word.
"Do you people practice being vague?" Jack de Crampon irritably asks him. Cobalt ignores the question.
Grutoss accepts the medallion Jay gives back to him. Grutoss looks at the medallion for a brief moment and lays in on the desk in front of Cobalt, who also looks at it.
"Thank you Jay. I know about people who talk about pain and suffering for the common good. It's never them. But your group actually does things most people just talk about," says Grutoss hesitantly, a deep sorrow filling his face. He shakes it off and resumes a controlled, yet emotional face, looking at each of you.
"You may spend the night here in the castle for a few days or be on your way. Your adventure here is over and I too thank you," he offers.
Even with Jay's best attempts, Cobalt offers no reward or any expedition to the north to rescue some lions and other unknown captives. Jay's mutterings fall on deaf ears. Jay looks at the card in his hand.
With the adventure over, both Blodwydd and Krandor leave together, not wanting their share of the 700 gold crowns.
Elsewhere, Brienna Toechopper stands in awe of her new supply store just across the street from the Blue Frog Tavern.
Adventure points are also given for posting ability and for staying with us the entire adventure, which was no easy feat.
What do you do?
I was just waiting for your answer to float to the top of the 8-ball. When it did, I answered you.
Triple M wants that magic 8 ball back [a reference to eickeric's character Michael of the Midnight Magics from Goblins in the Mist --ed.].
Krandor is like the spotted owl, only without the feathers or basically anything bird-like.
Ross Perot was a class-A nut, but he had some good comments. "How many spotted owls are there? 20? Well, I say we put them in Air Force One, and fly them in absolutely first class comfort to the nearest national park, and get to work logging this area. Both sides happy."
Me personally, I'd go for it. Sometimes bad things happen to good PCs. (Besides, then I'd get to strangle him in a jealous rage.)
It is possible, but you would have to add your adventure points to your strength.
I thought about it, but I need to put the points into Dex, or he can't cast spells commensurate with his level.
So, if as a GM, I have Jay strangled in a jealous rage before the adventure ends, you would be fine with it? Just curious.
If it happened fairly? Sure, I'd be okay with it. Sometimes PCs die---it's a fact of the game. I might not like it, but I'd be okay with it. It's pretty much the same as when one is eaten by a worm, or falls prey to a trap, or is bitten in half by a bug god, or is ripped to shreds by a Troll, or gets zapped by an evil Wizard. If it happens in a decent adventure, and isn't simply a heavy-handed clobbering of the player, but comes out of the natural results of play and the changing fates of the dice, how can I or anyone else complain?
Imaginative points are like trees. Their roots lie in the darkness whilst their leaves wave in the sun, and to those who suspect nought, they have an attractive and pleasing appearance, but you never really know what they are thinking, as I do you.
Meditate on this wisdom. Moo....
I am surprised that you're surprised. I often offer a carrot dangled before adventurers to keep them plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it.
Not surprised the carrot was there: that's standard fare. I was surprised at the rutabaga that was chosen.
We all wish we could wear those silly French hats without having to carry a rifle to keep from being beat up.
Go armored. They carry pistols.
Honesty is the deniability of reality. What I lack, I deny.
Develop your eccentricities when you're young. That way when you're old, people don't think you're going gaga.
Jay would have his hands full with that one!
Jay doesn't tell.
Jax circles around the pool and collects the 700 gold crowns for later distribution among his comrades.
Is that enough to fund an expedition to the north?
"Death is not the worst fate. There are things more horrible than death. You can't imagine."
Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n raised the parking fees again? [another reference to eickeric's indomitable Tsathogua in Goblin Lake, Part Deux --ed.] If he had a soul it'd be thrice condemned.
"It's the ones that aren't around anymore that have the problems.... Thank goodness trustworthy sorts are readily available in local drinking establishments."
Somehow this seems to have lost something in translation....
Cobalt nods in agreement and raises one eyebrow....
Dang, I should've wished to be able to do that.
You're no Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n (pronounced correctly)....
I don't know why everyone was so down on Cobalt. I like him. [Nobody could ever pronounce Glarg's name correctly in Goblin Lake, Part Deux! --ed.]
"yadda, yadda, yadda, you know the rest."
"Not really, but that'll do."
"Thank you Jay."
"You're welcome, I'm sure."
"But your group..."
Hang on, you mean I'm going to be considered linked to these people? Mock horror.
Jay looks at the card in his hand.
Can I choose which Area Of Khazan to perform in? ;)
Even with Jay's best attempts, Cobalt offers no reward or any expedition to the north to rescue some lions and other unknown captives.
Ah well, I'll have 70 crowns from the treasure to fund it---slightly less if anyone ever finds the missing Hobbit.
With the adventure over, both Blodwydd and Krandor leave together, not wanting their share of the 700 gold crowns.
Make that slightly more than 70.
Adventure points are also given for posting ability...
Darn, I should've posted every excerpt separately.
...and for staying with us the entire adventure, which was no easy feat.
Tell me about it.
What do you do?
Raise DEX to the upper levels of human average, and find a breath mint before the date. Jay'll show up on time for it.
Felixia looks around, "Is that it? Is the adventure over or do we go on another one?" the little Fairy asks, fluttering around. "I wanna go some more," she says, smiling happily.
"More?" Taran grunts to the fluttering Fairy.
After all that has happened, Taran ponders the Fairy's enthusiasm and considers his own knack for signing up for adventures. This latest excursion brought him back to his adventuring roots. How many years ago did he strap on his old rusty crossbow and his uncle's sword, leave the safety of Dracon Warren, and show up at Arahk Gnahk's office, shiny-tusked and eager for adventure, only to be thrust into the middle of the invasion of Khazan? Now, he has just helped wage a guerilla battle against these very same invaders and has been escorted back to safety by Arahk himself.
With all that has happened in the last day, he finds himself less eager to join in the quips and chirp up, although he does bow his head at Arahk's appearance. He owed that big guy his life and more, and he felt useful in service to Khazan under his direction.
It is a bit difficult for him to come to terms with the Talo Worm, the magickal [sic] resurrections of his adventuring companions, and alien invaders about which he read in Amazing Stories at the Blue Frog when he was younger.
"If you want more adventure," he finally follows up his reply to Felixia, "you're in the right place. These Directors of Adventuring Adventurers, ergh, probably got a whole stack of adventures just waiting for volunteers."
He thumbs a thumb (naturally) to himself. "As for me and my, uh, tattoo here," he says, unsure of himself and his new symbiont, "a bit of rest and relaxation in a castle would be a nice change of pace. Jax'n'I're used to stormin' castles, not sleepin' in 'em. What a hoot!" He ends with a guffaw, grunt and belly-rumbling roar combination which culminates in what passes for Orcish laughter.
"Grutoss, Cobalt, let's see what fine comforts your castle here has for this here Orc who's used to sleeping on the dirt."
"Hey Taran, can I get my share of the treasure---whoa, I feel kinda dizzy...." The black onyx ring on Amroth's finger gives him a burning sensation, and begins to burn brightly. Despite having full plate armour on, Amroth thinks he feels the full force of a blow to his stomach. He feels as if his pure existence is being ripped apart from the inside, that he will be plucked from this life, back to hell.
"No! I completed the mission! I served the clan of Esa! What more do you ask of---" He lifts off the ground as marvelously bright rays of light seem to burn from him and he screams in pain. A so-familiar green ooze secretes onto his face, as well as onto his body. Then the ooze, unaffected by gravity, drifts off into the... ozone!
For all the environmental radicals out there, no, it does not hurt the ozone!
Amroth falls to the ground. Feeling much stronger, he stands up with ease and thinks aloud, "WELL! YES! This is a great thing! Either we have proved quantum randomness or I am fully Elven again! HAHAHAHAHA!"
He turns back to Taran, "Oh yeah, so anyways, can I get my share!? I think I'll stick around this here castle for a while. Grutoss, could you give me about 200 female type beetles? Yeah, I've heard the male beetles don't taste very good. Some chocolate dip too, well wait, I think I should make a quick list! Um lets se, some hard lemonaide, beer; gotta have beer!" The black onyx ring falls off his finger.
Amroth, now being Elven again, regains 10 strength, thus the Esa god takes the extra 10 luck he gave him. This means his STR=20, Luck=18.
I'm half un-dead until we have saved Khazan, then I'm fully Elven again.
Which half? The "un" or the "dead"?
Invite the Jax and Taran, the Fairies, Kahi and that bozo Amroth to join me on a heroic quest to rescue some poor captives from an evil Minotaur and even more evil Troll.
"I wouldn't mind resting here for a while either. After that, I'll be happy to go on more adventurers. As long as it involves killing bad guys and/or rescuing cities/damsels in distress (or disdress for that matter) and/or poor fluffy animals and/or vicious imprisoned animals and/or just generally anyone that needs rescuing, I'll do it."
As Krandor and Blodwydd leave the library, Jax catches the knight's glance and lifts slightly the bag of 700 crowns he holds. Krandor's mouth draws thin and he twitches his head, refusing his reward. Blodwydd follows suit.
Taran's laughter shifts his attention away from the couple, and he can't help sharing a chuckle with his brother, but it soon fades at Amroth's transformation. He shakes his head in a kind of "whatever" Orcish gesture.
Before anyone else leaves, he dumps the 700 gold crowns into a neat pile on the floor and says, "There's nine of us left, counting Brienna; each of you take 78 and I'll take what's left and split it with her if she ever shows up again."
Backing away, he draws close to Jay. "Here, you might need this on your date," he says, handing Jay one of the three silver "favor" coins Lerotra'hh gave him. He tosses the other two coins on the pile for anyone else to grab.
As the coins are counted, he approaches Grutoss. "Master Wizard, thank you for your hospitality. If I may have your leave, I'd like to ask you two questions."
After Grutoss's nod, Jax continues. "Where did our comrade Brienna end up? And what do these gloves do?"
For those who might be concerned, word has been forwarded to Jack de Crampon of his recent adventure point award for the completion (or something to that effect) of the Dangerous Creations adventure. We, his publicists, would like to express the deepest of thanks on Mssr. de C.'s behalf, thank Gawd almighty, Lerotra'hh, khara_khang the patient and forgiving, and all the little people out there who make his escapades such a big hit with the kiddies in front of the idiot box. A special nod to one Jax Drunken (sp?) who made some effort to keep Mssr. de C. out of harm's way when it came. He can expect an autographed etching in the mail and a "Skele-cadets" secret decoder ring, just like in the cereal boxes, but for free, and minus the cereal.
Also of intrest to the fans, we would like to inform you that the brains behind Mssr. de C., Shindorim7, née J.P. Zukauskas, spinner of yarns par excellence, kiss arse and glad hander is recently engaged to be married (IRL). We know you will all rejoice with him at the prospect of legally binding, obligatory, and hopefully regular bedtime antics.
Cheers!
Skele-pimp, Inc.
© All rights reserved
Anyone know who this new impostor is? We all know Jean-Paul-Van-dammit died in a knife fight in some skanky bar in Korea. Gotta love those Canadians: they just never made great knife fighters.
Not surprised the carrot was there: that's standard fare. I was surprised at the rutabaga that was chosen.
I like rutabagas.
Can I choose which Area Of Khazan to perform in? ;)
You don't choose it, it chooses you.
Both Krandor and Blodwydd seem very happy and leave without further comments. After Jax dumps the 700 gold crowns into a neat pile (if there is such a thing) onto the floor, Taran, Titania, Jack, Jay, Kahi, Felixia and Amroth each take their share of 78 gold crowns each. Felixia and Amroth end up with the two remaining silver "favor" coins Jax added from Lerotra'hh.
"Where did our comrade Brienna end up? And what do these gloves do?"
Grutoss hesitates, staring at Jax, his features as sharp as his attitude, then he blinks. "Brienna now owns a supply store across the street from the Blue Frog Tavern," he says without hesitation. "As for your gloves, they aid in unopposed access to conjured demi-quasi-dimensional portals. You should wear them more often and learn to use them correctly." Grutoss turns, and his black and gold-trimmed robes flow around him as if alive. In a few strides, Grutoss disappears into a wall and is gone.
"Is that it? Is the adventure over or do we go on another one? I wanna go some more."
Felixia looks around in her normal perky manner, smiling happily, after tucking away her share of the gold and the favor coin in her bag of holding. No one seems to answer her question, but everyone heard her.
"Cobalt, let's see what fine comforts your castle here has for this here Orc who's used to sleeping on the dirt."
"We do have dirt," Cobalt says, wondering if he actually heard Taran correctly. He makes a smirking face of understanding and then pretends not to have been listening to all that Taran said, while still eyeing the medallion on the desk in front of him.
"Ah, w-w-wait a second, don't he know we're guests here Jax-her-up?" Jack de Crampon speaks, an obvious leer of superiority on his bony face. He jabs Jax with his elbow for added effect. "What's he waiting for? I feel like an idiot standing here. But I am an idiot, so it kinda all works out I guess.
"The trouble with real life adventuring is that there is no danger music. It would kinda of make each battle more like snowflakes. Just one of my many epiphanies I have. I suppose if we don't get some service, I'll be like a blind man in an orgy, I'll have to feel my way around this place," Jack says, getting impatient.
At this point, something happens to Amroth. Most don't know if his antics are real or staged, but either way, they seem impressive.
"We all go a little mad sometimes. There is no right and wrong, only fun and boredom," adds Jack, after having witnessed Amroth's re-something-or-other.
"I wouldn't mind resting here for a while either. After that, I'll be happy to go on more adventurers. As long as it involves killing bad guys and/or rescuing cities/damsels in distress (or disdress for that matter) and/or poor fluffy animals and/or vicious imprisoned animals and/or just generally anyone that needs rescuing, I'll do it."
"Kahi, what you just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things that I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that can be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. You're my kind of guy! Gawd, yer the greatest! To the beer!" yells Jack.
A servant enters and shows you from the library to your quarters, where you can change clothes, bathe and be pampered (in anyway you want). After an hour, you are brought back to a main room where you can drink and feast together, enjoying as much as you want and returning to your rooms at any time thereafter.
What do you do?
"Is that it? Is the adventure over or do we go on another one? I wanna go some more,"
"There's always rescuing those poor captive lions...."
"If you want more adventure, you're in the right place. These Directors of Adventuring Adventurers, ergh, probably got a whole stack of adventures just waiting for volunteers."
"Poor things, probably just sitting there waiting to be eaten by the troll...."
"As long as it involves killing bad guys and/or rescuing cities/damsels in distress (or disdress for that matter) and/or poor fluffy animals and/or vicious imprisoned animals and/or just generally anyone that needs rescuing, I'll do it."
Well, there you go. What could be more heroic than rescuing fluffy animals from viciously evil humanoids?
"There's nine of us left, counting Brienna; each of you take 78...."
I'm "rich." "Is anyone here willing to sell a spell very cheaply?"
"Here, you might need this on your date."
"*L* That, I might. It beats me relying on good looks and sheer personality alone to get through this. Thanks. I now officially like you more than Fifernickle the Orc."
I like rutabagas.
Me too. Growing up, my brothers and I had a shirt we called "the rutabaga shirt," which was a duly honored hand-me-down between us all.
Can I choose which Area Of Khazan to perform in? ;)
You don't choose it, it chooses you.
Do I at least get to choose the performance?
No one seems to answer [Felixia's] question, but everyone heard her.
Jay reiterates his comment about the lions, the Troll, and the Minotaur for the umpteenth time, and knows that it's not the Fairy who is not being heard.
A servant enters and shows you from the library to their quarters, where you can change clothes, bathe and be pampered (in anyway you want).
I do so indulge.
What do you do?
Arrive on time for the death goddess.
We would like to inform you that the brains behind Mssr. de C., Shindorim7, née J.P. Zukauskas, spinner of yarns par excellence, kiss arse and glad hander is recently engaged to be married (IRL).
Congratulations, no doubt. Who's the skeleton's lucky ghoul? (I can't believe I just said something that corny/stupid....)
Gotta love those Canadians: they just never made great knife fighters.
They don't skate as well as the Russians either. Oh wait, they just decided to award everyone the gold.... [a reference to "Skategate" at the 2002 Winter Olympics --ed.]
Jax puts on his gloves at Grutoss' suggestion, though the Wizard might as well have spoken Bovine for all he understood him to say. He chuckles again at Brienna's newfound wealth; good marks to the Water Spirit for style.
He spends the hour before the feast resting, probing the faint, cold, silent new presence in his mind with curiosity and caution. It was getting to be a menagerie up there, he laughs.
The dinner that evening is nothing spectacular, especially compared to the party Ruth a'Guerre threw two delves ago [in Lizardmen of Red Water Bay --ed.], but he appreciates it nonetheless. When the food and drink are more or less consumed, he stands and addresses the group.
"A toast to your bravery. It's been an honor, folks, but I'm far due for some down time back at the Warren."
Taran smirks, knowing full well how Jax spent his "down" time: training at swordplay. It was one such "training" session with his brother that had gotten him separated from some fingers, later restored during his first adventure [as Agents of Lerotra'hh --ed.].
"Jay, if you survive your date with Death," he pauses for the ensuing laughter, "and you still need help with your mission, leave a note for me at the Blue Frog."
"See ya back home, T. Don't stay out too late; you know how much Kna'gl frets over you," he grins amidst his tusks.
On the way home, Jax stops by Brienna's shop.
"Do former delving associates get 10% off?" he says, barging in the door as only an Orc can. He makes sure she gets her 78 gold pieces, then he is off, promising to visit before his next adventure.
"Kahi... you're my kind of guy! Gawd, yer the greatest! To the beer!"
"Thanks Jack, I'll take that offer of beer."
Kahi, after sharing a number of beers with Jack, goes to the feast. Afterwards, he wishes farewell to those who are leaving and reminds Jay that if he does need help with the lions, he would be glad to. Kahi then wanders off to the Blue Frog Tavern and awaits his next adventure, sharing beers and stories with any one who will listen and pay for the beer (well, half of it at least).
Go To:
PBPArchives
| DangerousCreations
| prev
| next
This page updated: Mon Jan 09 14:22:12 2006
All text Copyright ©1999-2006 PBPArchives.
