A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
Deciding that you have little choice but to trust Grub for now, you follow the Orc towards the citadel in the center of the island. The hike takes but a few minutes.
"Is that a light ahead?" Freaketa whispers, seeing the light emanating from the partly opened huge double stone doors on the front of the stone citadel.
The double doors (opened by Grub) open into a wide hallway lined with stone statues of humanoid warriors. Following it, he leads you into a very large gloomy chamber, which, to your surprise, is not only warm but sparsely furnished.
"Someone lives here?" asks Stark.
There is a cot and a chair, neither in good shape, and a moth-eaten tapestry hangs from one wall. A trunk is heaped full at the foot of the cot, and piles of scrolls and parchments litter a nearby tabletop. Two other doors can be seen in the chamber. The ceiling is high and arched with dozens of chains hanging from them (all stopping about 6 feet shy of the floor). Cockroaches scatter at your approach. Along the right wall sit six Giant Toads and two along the left. They sit unmoving like statuesque guardians, in perfect order.
Grub the guide stops near you, but remains silent, looking somewhat disinterested.
Standing next to the table sifting through some scrolls is a large, jovial-looking figure. The man is draped in dark sorcerer's robes and has a flowing white beard, but the cheeks above his beard are flushed with life. He laughs wholeheartedly, and you instantly like this charismatic bear of a man. "I am Vlachos," he says, lowering arms to his sides, a single scroll still held in one hand. "How may I serve you?" Vlachos looks towards Krandor and smiles.
A smaller figure about the size of a Hobbit comes out from behind the sorcerer and peers in your direction. Its head is bald, it has a parrot-like beak, and a pattern of bright purple surrounds its eyes. It too is dressed in robes.
"It's Vlachos, the King's Advisor all right," she nods with the statement.
What do you do?
"Wazzabee!" shouts Amroth as he walks up to the man and offers his hand. "Actually, I think the question is more like, 'What can we do for you?' but I am not the one to be correcting such a powerful mage as yourself. Is there any treasure we need to get for you? Maidens to save? Money to collect? Stuff to steal for you? How rude of me! My name is Amroth-Esa of the Elven clan that calls itself Esa. (Blah, blah, blah...)
"Shutup! Will you just shut your mouth!" he grabs Amroth. "Excuse me," he says, taking Amroth back to the rear of the party.
"What are you doing!?"
"Making friends. You know, this is why you don't have any friends and no one likes you. All the Elves just feel bad for you! Also about that stupid grenade you are bound and determine to find---"
"WHAT? You were going to talk him to death and lose our opportunity!!" he punches Amroth so that he knocks the wind out of him.
"<kkhhhaTCH! kkhhhaTCH!> You... little... <kkhhhaTCH!> I oughta shove a... Fiend up your... sorry... a---" Amroth sits down and lets go of it. Then a revelation comes upon him, and he gets up abruptly, going back up to the robed man.
"Sir, could you be so... <kkhhhaTCH!> Excuse me, provide us with food, drink, and a place to rest 'til we are healthy?"
Vlachos' charm is such that Blodwydd is instantly won over. She breaks out in a big smile and favors him with a little "hello there" wave. "Yertoo nicetah beya wizzerd likthey say!" she observes in greeting. "Enni likyer monkey!"
Stark looks around the room, and at the Toads. He looks closely at the floor, and at the table containing the parchments. He also listens for any sound coming from beyond the doors.
Jamara stays within arms reach and slightly in front of Freaketa, with her warhammer held casually at her side, relaxed but ready. "Where's the King?"
Krandor returns the wizard's smile (as much as a Wolf can), and says simply, "I have what you asked me to retrieve. Allow the others to go."
Chereva remains guarded, and holds her oxtongue vertically as she awaits Vlachos' response to her party members---especially Krandor.
"Is dat him Krandor? Sic 'im boy... come on boy... sic 'im," I laugh as only a Hobbit can.
Turning to Freaketa, I say, "When we see the King, Freaketa you got to pucker your lips like dis!" A well-placed slap from Freaketa silences me.
Mutters under her breath, "Maybay the Goblin should be marrying the hairyfoot. They fight like they married already."
Felixia flutters amid the group (not above them), unsure of this wizard and not wanting to make herself an easy target carrying the necklace. "We must see the King at once," she says spiraling and looking at the wizard.
Fuzz looks uncomfortable in the presence of the black Wizard (he's always afraid someone might come along and finish what was started by the first black Wizard he met) and trys to say as far away as possible from him without actually moving to such a place that he no longer protects the rest of the party, because despite his disconfort he is still fiercely loyal to those he considers friends (or at least not enemies or pains in the arse---everyone else he is more than happy to kill, but if they fall into one of these categories he is more than ready to defend them with his life).
He wispers to Chereva "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean we don't even know how powerful he is and I really don't like being around wizards that aren't obviously not going to try and kill me. I'm not sure I trust this guy as far as Stark could throw him, and that might not be very far."
The group is led into the stone citadel by Grub the Orc guide. The entire group confronts Vlachos, his servant Mot and eight Giant Toads.
"I have what you asked me to retrieve. Allow the others to go."
"Indeed you have Krandor. Hissing and kissing, I'll now be dismissing. NOW be gone!" Speaking the words of a spell, the scroll in Vlachos' hand turns to dust.
As it does, Grub the Orc guide, Fuzz, Jamara, Chereva, Blodwydd, Amroth and Karanath all disappear and reappear on the beach. Only Krandor, Felixia, Freaketa, Shipy and Stark remain in the room, having made their SR rolls against the spell. Those reappearing on the beach failed their rolls. Freaketa doesn't have to make a SR since she is not targeted (i.e., Vlachos wants her here).
"tHe spiDer sPins aGain! eEe-yaHa!" says Mot, running in place and clapping his hands with glee. "HooDey hOo!"
"So! Hobbit! Are you prepared for... the torture!?! You... are now... totally in my power! Bwah-ha-ha-ha!" Vlachos pauses for a moment after his words, listening to the sudden chattering of Shipy's teeth.
"I'm really Sorry, I just always wanted to say that. It's a bit overused and dramatic, I realize.... Now where were we... oh right, now I remember. Hand over the necklace Fairy. Krandor said you would be carrying it. Give, give, give."
The doors at the far end of the hall magically slam shut with a thunderous boom. The Hobbit wraps himself around Stark's leg. Seven of the eight Giant Toads move towards you. One of the Giant Toads flips out its tongue and snatches Freaketa back into its mouth, swallowing her whole in the blink of an eye. The unmoving Giant Toad (the eighth one) is wearing a green cape.
"Stubborn eh? Give up the necklace or the princess dies." Seeing Freaketa suddenly eaten by the Giant Toad, Vlachos is angered. "Could you remember to work with me here, Toads? Geeze, good mindless help is hard to find these days. Either way, the Goblin fem is tofu-ood if you don't give up the necklace immediately. She has maybe 3 minutes of air inside that dumb Toad."
"Stop this now, vile enchanter, or face immediate eviction!" he commands, then looks down at the Hobbit on his leg. The scrolls and parchments on the table seem to be written in some foreign language. A pecking sound can be heard from the door behind you.
"OMG... we're all gonna die! If he wasn't evil before, he is now! This is gonna ruin my entire day!" whimpers the Hobbit in terror. "And they said they needed a demi-human to help them deliver a lost princess.... Boy, were they lying!" he thinks.
Reappearing on the beach, the over-muscled Orc turns to you (Fuzz, Jamara, Chereva, Blodwydd, Amroth and Karanath) as Vlachos' voice echoes across the beach: "Remove their leprous visage's from my presence, thou drunken, unwholesome vagabond!"
"You heard da boss. Well I ain't the educated type so we's might as well fight to the death! Here is as good a place as any. I wonder how much damage yous six can take before croaking?" Cracking his knuckles, the weaponless magically-muscled Orc prepares to get medieval on you, even though outnumbered 6 to 1.
What do you do?
Stark drops to one knee, and splays his right before him. A bolt of white hot energy (level 3 TTYF) crackles from his palm, and travels toward Vlachos.
"You want a fight, we fight! You want to live, get out of our way!" Jamara says grimly. "Do it fast, either way! We don't have time to waste with a lackey too stupid to know he's just been set up!"
If he doesn't get out of the way immediately, Jamara's rushing him full force!
"Thass whut I get fur thinkin' a wizzurd coob be nice!" Blodwydd sighs regretfully and unsheathes her sword, preparing to attack Grub if he doesn't yield.
Krandor growls out, "He's lying, Felixia. I told him no such thing!" He then leaps for the wizard's neck.
"Grub, you can either come with us, or I shall personally see that you die."
If Grub doesn't follow them to help, or he doesn't attack us, I think we should either finish him off so he doesn't come and attack us from behind or we should question him until he gives us enough info.
If necessary, Amroth charges Grub Behind the Amazon woman (after unsheathing his weapons).
Fuzz seems utterly unperturbed by the Orc, and before anyone can do anything rash, he says, "All right, so you're not very intelligent. You can, however, obviously see that the odds are aginst you. Even when magically enchanted, you really don't expect to beat all of us do you? I mean you can only attack, what, two of us at a time, and during that time we can hammer you with hammers, assail you with spells, bite you with teeth," he grins revealing all 3 rows of teeth in his massive maw, "and stab you with swords. So what exactly is the point of bothering to fight a fight you're gonna lose anyway?
"And besides, the wise man say, 'Forgiveness is divine but never pay full price for late pizza.'" At this, Fuzz looks confused slightly and then goes on, "Sorry, the wise man says that too but what I meant to say was, 'Wise man say he who lives and runs like hell doesn't have to fight me in which case he shall be felled.'" With this Fuzz grins again showing all of his teeth and then says, "So how 'bout it? Would you care to be a nice little Orc and run away or are you really going to make me hurt you?"
If at any point during or before Fuzz's monologue Grub should attack, Fuzz will simply interrupt his own speech and start fighting with sword, dagger, and stinger tail.
"Burp."
"tHe spiDer sPins aGain! eEe-yaHa! HooDey hOo!"
I dunno why, but he's one of my favorite guys in the game.
And don't be fooled, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n looks nothing like that ridiculous picture. A search for an accurate representation is ongoing. Why, that photo hasn't even got batwings!
"Seems you were right about Vlachos, Fuzz," Chereva mutters worriedly. It can't bode well that the dark Wizard has isolated the more vulnerable members of the group from its warriors.
As soon as everyone is finished questioning the Orc's resolve, Chereva walks toward him apace (but still out of reach) for a final test. Her oxtongue is still held vertically in a nonthreatening manner. "Grub, dearie, how well does Vlachos' treat you? I know a few Taverns back in Khazan who would love to employ you as their bouncer. With your great size and strength," she gives him a sultry helping of elevator eyes, "you'd command whatever payment you desired! You would be well-respected, you could still pound creatures to a pulp, and they'd pay you more for it! I used to bounce at the Crazy Wyvern. I could vouch for you if you help us out here...." Chereva eyes him closely.
Felixia's eyes open some and she casts Hot Foot on the frog that swallowed Freaketa. She hopes it will spit her out.
"Bud." Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n sits there with a smug look as only a Herculean Toad genius can.
"Wise."
My T&T® crib notes say that if played strictly by the book, a drowning party could speedily amass an island, and thus save themselves. That was humor. Heh tee hee.
"First I'm gonna' beat the crap out of you, then I'm gonna kill you and then pound you into tuna fish salad or some such poorly written drivel," says Grub.
Charging forward past Chereva (because she didn't have her oxtongue ready), Grub grabs Fuzz by the throat. The Orc's ungodly strength immediately shuts off Fuzz's air as Grub continues squeezing. But before Grub has a chance to rip Fuzz's head off his shoulders, Fuzz guts Grub like a newly caught mackerel. The dead Orc releases his grip and falls lifelessly to the sand at Fuzz's feet.
Seconds later Grub's body disappears and three exact replicas of Grub reappear (all standing). All three of the new Grubs (#1, #2, #3) are similarly enraged.
Stark's MKA-TTYF (MKA = massive-kick-ass, TTYF = Take That You Fiend) spell has no effect. Krandor charges forward, and leaps towards Vlachos' neck and then hits something invisible but as hard as a brick wall. He drops straight to the floor stunned. The Anti-Magic Pentagram (which stops incoming magic) permanently etched into the floor beneath Vlachos flares to life, burning away the dust concealing it. (Since Krandor is wearing magic, he too was stopped.)
Vlachos spreads his hands, and lightning dances between them. "Betray me, will you, Krandor? Time to get your reward, cub!" Vlachos bellows, before Krandor's clouded brain realizes that he's in the open and sure to be toasted. Reflexively, you (Krandor) try to escape, but the lightning that leaps from Vlachos' fingertips seems to have a life of its own. It arcs over your head, curling in the air and delving directly into you, ferreting you out with a single-minded purpose.
You howl as the sputtering electricity burns into your back, singing your nerve endings and filling your nose with the stench of burning fur. Vlachos continues, pouring on the energy until your Wolf muscles begin to spasm and your brain feels as if it is boiling.
"I-I'm dying!" you think. "I've taken too much damage!" On the floor, you look at how your body has changed as you lie there twitching uncontrollably.
"deAth," Mot intones with glee, running in circles. "deaTh bY agIng---Or bY raBid tOad. By thE greAt Gygaxian, it'S alL tHe sAme."
A Toad leaps on you (Stark) and drives you to the ground. Pain erupts through your shoulder as small dagger-like teeth dig deep into your flesh. With frenzied panic, you rain blows on the creature's face with your staff and manage to drive it back. You stand unsteadily, spattered with blood, knowing that the wound you suffer is slight (take 4 hits).
But you cannot give up. Not yet. The Giant Toads press their advantage. Instead of giving you the chance to recover, several rush you all at once. Shipy scampers away from your leg on his hands and knees. Two Toads knock you (Stark) reeling before one bites your thigh. A third Toad bites at you but misses. Your wounds are not telling (take more 3 hits); instead, they serve only to anger you.
A Giant Toad snaps its tongue out at Felixia (which can reach almost 5 feet away) but misses her.
The Giant Toad which swallowed Freaketa begins to hop about frantically in pain (from Felixia's spell) as it begins to swell bigger and bigger, until it gets to a point where it can get no bigger and then it explodes. Standing inside the Toad or what's left of it, is a large Ogress who looks exactly like princess Freaketa.
Covered with slime and goo and wearing clothing much too small for her, she looks very, very angry. Stepping out of the Toad, she moves forward, grabbing another Giant Toad in a bear hug and begins squeezing the guts out of it.
The Giant Toad wearing the green cape sits motionless with a smug look as only a Herculean Toad genius can. "Wise."
What do you do?
"deAth, deaTh bY agIng---Or bY raBid tOad. By thE greAt Gygaxian, it'S alL tHe sAme."
Yeah, I'd trade in a half-dozen Pondskimmers and Prince Thalions for one Mot.
A Toad leaps on you (Stark) and drives you to the ground. Pain erupts through your shoulder as small dagger-like teeth dig deep into your flesh.
He deserved it.
Triple M was kind enough to offer to sell him spells way back when, and there was no answer. See what happens when you fail to own a Toad Away spell?
The Giant Toads press their advantage. ...several rush you all at once. Shipy scampers away from your leg on his hands and knees.
Why am I not surprised?
The Giant Toad wearing the green cape sits motionless with a smug look as only a Herculean Toad genius can. "Wise."
It's about time the hero of this story arrived.
The Giant Toad which swallowed Freaketa begins to hop about frantically in pain (from Felixia's spell) as it begins to swell bigger and bigger, until it gets to a point where it can get no bigger and then it explodes.
"Fritz! Fritz! Get up for God's sake, get up! They've killed Fritz; they've killed Fritz! Those lousy stinking yellow Fairies, those horrible atrocity filled vermin, those despicable animal warmongers, they've killed Fritz! Take that, take that, take that you green slime! You black hairy short bowlegged..."
Standing inside the Toad or what's left of it, is a large Ogress who looks exactly like princess Freaketa.
"Oh. Oh darn. There you go again, stepping on my lines, raining on my parade, costing me medals! Oh darn!"
Covered with slime and goo and wearing clothing much too small for her, she looks very, very angry. Stepping out of the Toad, she moves forward, grabbing another Giant Toad in a bear hug and begins squeezing the guts out of it.
"Oh. Oh, Fritz? Fritz, get up for God's sake...."
Krandor, ignoring the pain inflicted by the Wizard, concentrates on standing back up. Though he cannot harm the Wizard because of the symbol on the floor, Krandor needs to help Stark fight off the Toads. Though the pain is more than he can bear, he tries to attack one of the Toads with his claws before he falls to the ground unconscious.
He's goin down!! (All three of them.)
Fuzz looks royally pissed at the now three Grubs, but instead of knocking off some snappy one-liner he just jumps into battle. (I can't think of any one-liners right now so I'll just shut up and fight.)
Felixia flutters back and shouts, "Krandor!" Turning to the Wizard, she says, "You... you bully! Take us to the King now or I promise you he'll take it out on your hide!"
"The grenade was not going to be in his stomach! why did you look in there, Fuzz? Lezz go!" Amroth charges at the "Grub Bubz."
"Mebbe weaken disablem, 'steada killin'!" shouts Blodwydd. She sticks close to Chereva and Jamara, and tries to go for disabling blows (hands, shoulders, legs) to try and cripple one of the Grubs instead of killing him.
Chereva shouts back toward Blodwydd, and Jamara nearby, "Right! Don't kill them, Crikey!" Chereva keeps the Grub(s) near her at bay with the full length of her oxtongue, and tries to jab it into the nearest Grub's knee when she spots an opening.
Jamara rushes the Grub nearest her, swinging her hammer wide and low to try and shatter his leg. "This takes too much time! We need to get inside!"
After casting his spell, Stark sees the black robed wizard explode, and the Toads just seem to melt away. He finds himself back under the tutelage of his master. His master is saying, "Well done boy! We shall have chicken tonight!" (End Dream Sequence)
Fuzz drops his sword to the ground and rushes the Grub that is fighting Chereva (from behind, not up front) as he is distracted by her. He drops to his knees and hamstrings the Grub with his mithril dagger.
Hamstringing, for those of you who don't know, is where you cut the sinews of your opponents at the back of the joint of the knee. If done properly---it's kind of hard to mess up on someone who's not paying attention---this causes the person to fall to the ground, incapaple of getting up again because his legs no longer can stay in a locked position.
Fuzz, Jamara, Chereva, Blodwydd, Amroth and Karanath are still on the beach fighting the three versions of Grub. Fuzz attempts a non-lethal hamstring on of the Grub #1. Jamara swings at the legs of Grub #2. Chereva tries to jab the nearest Grub's knee when she spots an opening and Amroth attempts to do the same. Blodwydd tries to cripple Grub #3. Karanath stands and watches, doing nothing (since he didn't post an action).
Inside the citadel, Krandor, Felixia, Freaketa, Shipy, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n and Stark are still battling the Wizard and his Giant henchToads. Stark, battling the Giant Toads and having expended all of his Mystic energy, collapses to the floor unconscious. Felixia threatens but doesn't do anything. Krandor attacks a Giant Toad, killing it. Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n just watches the action. Freaketa, having used a potion of Ogre-kin (given to her by Cobalt) inside the Giant Toad who swallowed her, changes into a Ogress and squeezes the guts out of a Giant Toad, killing it. Thus far, 3 of the 7 Giant Toads are dead (not counting Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n).
T&T® Rules Note: Called shots in T&T® require both the announcement of a called shot prior to the attempt, and a successful roll of doubles on 2d6. The chances of doing so are 1 in 6.
Realizing that if you kill any of the three Grubs, you will create 3 more exact replicas for each one you kill, Fuzz, Jamara, Amroth, Chereva, and Blodwydd instead decide to use their brains and attempt to cripple the Grubs. All of you score hits, but they are not enough to cripple or disable the 3 Grubs this round. Grubs #1 and #3 miss with their attacks. Grub #2 grabs Chereva's oxtongue and impales himself on it. As his lifeless body falls limp to the sand, Grub #4, #5 and #6 appear. Now you are facing a total of 5 Grubs.
Watching the action and seeing the group losing, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n leaps into action. With two quick bounds, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n hops over Mot to face the Wizard Vlachos. Before Vlachos can respond, his Toad bites the large magical medallion hanging around Vlachos's neck, shattering it. Just as quickly, Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n hops away.
"You really, really stupid Toad! You don't know what you've done!" shouts Vlachos, staggering out of his protective anti-magic circle as mystical energy pours out of his prison medallion.
"NoW cUt dAt ouT!" he yells at Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n. "I toLd yOu toAds, nO sUdden movEs! AhhHh!" The short servant runs behind the table and hides.
The frightened Wizard takes another step back as creatures start appearing from being trapped inside his broken medallion. Some are gross and misshapen, but all are denizens of magic. As they appear, you see Neotyughs, Night Hags, Quasits, Slithering Trackers, and many other nightmarish creatures. They all descend upon Vlachos and devour him as he screams in pain like some school girl.
The moment he is fully devoured, all of the magically trapped creatures disappear. In Vlachos' wake, there is nothing but a large blood smear on the floor. Freaketa kills another Giant Toad, as does Krandor. The remaining two Giant Toads (not counting Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n---in all there are three Toads still alive), give up the fight and retreat to the far corner of the room. Freaketa's potion wears off and she returns to her normal, less impressive Goblin size.
With Vlachos' death, his magic fades and all the Grub incarnations disappear, leaving only the original Grub's lifeless body on the sand where he fell.
What do you do?
Blodwydd, unaware of the events transpiring within the Citadel, holds her sword over her head and jigs in a circle. "We gottum! We gottum! We gottum!"
And then, the possible peril of the princess comes to her mind, and with a "C'mon!" tossed over her shoulder, she takes off ands runs up the beach back toward the temple.
Jamara rushes up to the Citadel door as soon as the Orcs go poof, and starts swinging her hammer at it furiously in an attempt to break through it.
Fuzz gets up from the ground as the Grub he's trying to hamstring dissapears. "Well that was... different," he says, smothing his fur and dusting the sand out of it. He then walks over to where he dropped his sword and picks it up. As he heads towards the building where they left the rest of the party, he gives the real Grub a solid kick to the head in passing.
Coming up to the building, he tries the door. If it is unlocked, he will walk in carefully and if it is locked, he will knock on it and ask to be let in. If Grub for some reason wakes up due to my kicking, he will instead pin Grub to the ground by sticking his sword in Grub's leg and kicking him a few more times in the gut and crotch areas.
Felixia flutters around trying to see if the others are OK, especially Krandor. "You guys OK?"
"Yeah! You're lucky I didn't have all my power to whoop you! Then I would have; then Galdor might have." As he is talking to himself, Amroth checks the dead body. After finding something (or not) he catches up to the others and lets everyone take something after he has taken his pick.
Confusion sets in as the Grub on the end of her spear disappears, but Chereva manages to grab her wits and gallop after Blodwydd and Jamara toward the Citadel, and the rest of the group. Once at the door, she jams her oxtongue into the seam and attempts to pry it open.
Krandor stands to his full height now, and throws the table to one side. His eyes are a deep red as he grabs Mot by the throat and holds him aloft. "Take us to the King."
"You really, really stupid Toad! You don't know what you've done!"
A genius! A genius, I say!
[Vlachos] stagger[s] out of his protective anti-magic circle....
And he calls me stupid?
They all descend upon Vlachos and devour him as he screams in pain like some school girl.
Be fair---a school boy being devoured by a Night Hag would probably scream too.
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