A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
The battles inside and outside the Citadel suddenly end when Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n bites off Vlachos' medallion. Amroth searches Grub's body and finds a burlap sack rolled up in one pocket. Amroth recognizes it as magical and takes a moment to concentrate and identify it. The rest of the party outside converges on the Citadel doors, where Fuzz casts Knock Knock to unlock the doors.
Inside, Felixia flutters around trying to see if the others are OK. Stark, bitten several times by the Giant Toads is unconscious, but everyone else is fine. Freaketa walks over to Stark, grumbles something about saving people, kneels down next to him and pours a healing potion down his throat. Seconds later Stark awakes, fully healed (at 1 Mystic point, though).
Krandor, now in his new form, throws the table to one side. His eyes are a deep red as he threatens and throttles Mot. Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n sits and watches. Shipy, trapped under a dead Giant Toad, and no longer needing to play possum, squeals for help.
Back on the beach, Amroth identifies the small burlap sack's magical properties after a few moments' concentration:
Hearing something, Amroth looks around but doesn't see anything. Deciding it best to rejoin the group and not remain alone, he takes the small burlap sack and catches up with the rest of the group in the Citadel, wherein he sees Krandor holding Vlachos' servant Mot up off the floor by the throat.
"Ack... I can't breath very well when you do that. Boy, you sure know how to break the suspense, don't you? First off, I don't have a deathwish so I'll spill my guts.... OK, that didn't come out right. Ignore it. Well uhm... Vlachos is not the King's Advisor or Vizier or whatever you want to call him. The real one is trapped in a prison cell just beyond that door." Mot points toward the door. "To see the King you have to take a boat ride. Problem is... heh, heh... the boat is missing. Are you understanding any of this... 'cause My neCk iS realLy huRting aboUt nOw."
A quick search of the room finds a bunch of papers and scrolls detailing Vlachos' experiments. A few books can also be found. The first three titles are Unfortunate Magician, Extremely Unfortunate Magician and Dead Magician, all by Virginia Otto Scott. A fourth is entitled Immense Dragon Wings Over Schichstoffelfranzionia, by Fred Schichstoffelfranz. A small silver ring can be found in the first book.
"So I've never seen the King's Advisor before.... How was I to know?" The princess looks at Shipy trapped under the Giant Toad (now dead) and smiles.
What do you do?
Jamara runs into the room with a full head of steam, eager to join the battle! She almost looks disappointed when she discovers it's over already.
With nothing better to do now, she walks over and kicks the dead Toad off Shipy.
Krandor snarls, "This better not be a trick," and then flings Mot violently backwards against the stone wall. Krandor then returns to all fours and looks around at the party with his red eyes.
"What are you looking at?" he growls before returning his attention to the door behind which the real Vizier supposedly resides. In a single fluid motion, the white Wolfman rears back and then hurls himself at the door.
"Hey, OK, let's get outta here."
He checks the ring and concentrates on it to see if it has any magical properties.
"What are you looking at?"
Probably a naked WereWolf. Anyone got any unstable molecules handy?
I'll flap my way after them, after I chew Vlachos' face off. ("Stupid Toad" indeed.... Who's laughing now, mighty Wizard?)
"What are you looking at?"
"A WereWolf, a bunch of jumbo frog legs, and a dead finger waggler. Nice work."
Jamara walks over to where Mot lands, hauling him up by the scruff of the neck (if possible).
"You come with us!" she says in a tone that would send chills up a Hobgoblin's spine, and shoves him under her arm.
Probably a naked WereWolf.
Actually there's probably fur covering up the important parts. This is a public game. (Thank God =p)
"Hey!" shouts Blodwydd, brandishing her sword in the direction of the green cloaked Toad. "Onna thu wizzurd's Toads is stilla live!"
Chereva notes the promising change in Krandor's appearance, and also how frustrated and angry Krandor has become. Some powerful magick was evidently released, but not taken to its fulfillment, leaving the tortured Wolf half-transformed. To have come so close and yet still have so far to go must tear him apart, and the Centaur feels his grief. But she doesn't dare approach him. Not now.
She takes in the grisly battle scene. Stark must have held his own with the wizard, and a new respect for the young spellcaster washes over Chereva. Shipy looks no worse for the wear as Jamara kicks the Giant Toad off him. Blodwydd points out another Toad, which stands out for its green robe, and the fact that it's having Vlachos for lunch. "Wiz's approval rating must've fallen as of late," she smirks over toward Fuzz.
When Mot spills the beans to Krandor on the real Vizier's whereabouts, and Freaketa shrugs off her mistake like so many inconsequential gnats, Chereva is taken aback. "Your presumption, Freaketa, nearly got us killed!" she admonishes the would-be princess as Freaketa stands up after healing Stark. "Tell us next time when you're not sure of something! And... thanks for your help. I'm glad you're OK." Noting the dishevelled state of her clothing, Chereva takes off her own leather vest and holds it out to Freaketa. "Here, Your Highness. It ain't a wedding dress, but it's better than your tattered threads." A dull thump on the floor off to the Centaur's side sounds vaguely Hobbitish.
In her peripheral vision, Chereva detects Krandor's sleek and sinewy form as it lunges fluidly toward the door which Mot pointed out. As she trots over to the door, she calls out over her shoulder, "Let's go find the real Vizier and get outta this dump!"
"A WereWolf, a bunch of jumbo frog legs, and a dead finger waggler. Nice work."
"Actually, Jamara, I believe we are looking at a hybrid WereWolf, a bunch of frog legs, a finger waggler who was killed by a Giant Toad with wings, a flat Hobbit, and a naked Centaur. All in all, I would have to say that this day has gone fairly well for appearances." Fuzz grins.
"Wiz's approval rating must've fallen as of late."
"You come with us!"
Fuzz turns to Chereva in reply, "Yes well I hold that the only good Wizard is the kind that sits in his study and reads books without any thought of ruling the world, or a dead one. Those are good too. But back to the more important issues, one of which you seem to have forgotten: what are we going to do with the surviving Toads?"
To Jamara, he says, "And why on earth do you want to carry it around?" He gestures to Mot. "Just chop off a few fingers to be sure he's told us everything and then kill him. It's much easier and far less... well at least a little bit less dangerous than bringing him with us."
"Let's go and get this guy over with, though let's be careful about killing things straight off this time. Off to kill the Vizier, the pitiful Vizier, we're off to kill the Vizier!" He stops and just hums the tune as he goes back to examining the silver ring.
Felixia flutters around. "Yes, I will feel much better once I deliver this necklace safely," she says, sighing some.
Blodwydd eyes Chereva with concern. "Yoo oughta do sumthin' 'bout those 'for we hafta runnagin or yull bee hurtin'!"
Ah, Valchon---I knew him Mot.
I shall gather the remaining Toads and begin to plan an assault against the Death Goddess's empire, or the nearest colony of flies.
"Just chop off a few fingers to be sure he's told us everything and then kill him. It's much easier and far less...."
I'm so glad I left behind the evil Wizard and joined up with the murdering torturers... I mean the good guys.
"Just chop off a few fingers to be sure he's told us everything and then kill him. It's much easier and far less...."
"Iya no torturer," Jamara says coldly, shooting Fuzz a dark look. "And iya not gonna butcher someone who can't defend himself! But we take him with us," she continues, looking for a bit of rope or other suitable leash material, "Then any trap we walk into, he walk into. Maybay that be changing his mind, if he be thinking he send us into trap!"
Stark looks up into Freaketa's face, noting that his bleeding has stopped. He puts his hand on her shoulder for support as he stands up, almost causing her to fall. "Thank you Freaketa. I am indebted to you."
Stark slowly rises to his feet, still dazed from the energy drain. He walks over to the nearest wall, leans against it. "I see everyone is still in one piece," he says, noting the Tsathogua who has joined the group. He moves as little as possible until the group moves on.
If Karanath doesn't post before my next post, he will exit the party stage-left.
Satisfied with the information Mot has confessed, Krandor tosses Mot aside and then hurls himself at the door. The reinforced wooden door splinters into pieces as Krandor charges through without first testing the handle.
Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n flaps his way after the group, after eating something, happy to have joined up with the murdering torturers (he means the good guys).
Chereva takes off her own leather vest and gives it to Freaketa. Shipy faints upon seeing Chereva exposed. For some reason he thinks two fried eggs would be great about now. Freaketa takes Chereva's vest and puts it on.
"Thank you Freaketa. I am indebted to you."
"Okay Stark, I accept your debt." The princess' smile makes Stark wonder what she is thinking. "Don't harm the Giant Toad, Blodwydd!" she points at Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n. "He killed Vlachos for us, so I guess that makes him a friend."
"Your presumption, Freaketa, nearly got us killed!"
Turning back to Chereva, she replies, "You don't look dead to me! But thanks for the vest anyway."
"And to think I thought there would be no escape this time for the princess." The Hobbit chuckles as only a Hobbit can. He looks at the shirtless Chereva and can't blink. "Geeze... this is going to make it really hard to concentrate."
"DoEs mY neCk lOok likE a hand-grIp?" he squeaks, looking up at Jamara.
Amroth takes the small silver ring and concentrates on it to see if it has any magical properties. As he does, it leaps onto his finger and slides tightly around it. Amroth is surrounded by a bright fluorescent neon green highlight.
Anyone successfully attacking Amroth gains double their damage dice as long as he wears the cursed "Ring Of Highlighting." The ring cannot be removed. Slicing the finger off will cause the ring to magically appear on a different finger. The exact spell to remove the ring is unknown.
Krandor's new Wolfman form comes with some stat changes. Krandor's Dexterity changes to 17 and his Strength to 19. His combat adds thus are now 11 (16 missile). The rest of his stats remain as they are in his Wolf form. The equipment Krandor was wearing before changing into a Wolf also reappears on his body: light clothing and pack, flute, two torches, full leather armor, short sword, 19 g.p. and 8 s.p. Krandor's claws and teeth combined do 3d6 damage.
Following Krandor, you pass through the rubble of the door into a long corridor. Mot points at the first door on the left. Using a key hanging on the wall, you unlock the heavy iron door to find a very old white haired man dancing around inside a wet, bone filled cell, waving a chair leg at you menacingly. "Stay back you whippersnappers, I tell you!" he warns. The aged man looks in very bad shape, as if he has been kept confined in an appalling environment for a long time. Seeing that you are not going to attack him, he lowers the chair leg.
"What are you looking at, kids? None of ya ever seen a half-starved half-crazed man before?"
What do you do?
"We shall spare your life if you take this accursed ring off my finger, and also we may give you a share in gold if you help us more than that... possibly. If you make no effort---but do not try to chop my finger off---you shall meet my monkey friends."
With a single furious motion, Krandor grabs Amroth by the wrist (the same hand with his ring) and cuts into his arm just below the shoulder in an attempt to remove the accursed arm.
"Do not threaten him. He will show us the way to the King," Krandor growls in Amroth's face.
Blodwydd looks doubtfully at the green cloaked Toad before deciding to put her sword away. It seems to her upon reflection however, that some of her current traveling companions are more likely to prove a thread [sic] than a shabbily attired Toad. So she turns her attention elsewhere.
She turns to follow the rest of the group down the corridor. "Oooo! You godda monkey!" she squeals, seeing that Jamara is toting Mot around. "Nice monkey!" she adds doubfully, poking a finger at Mot, somewhere not in the vicinity of its beak.
As the door is flung open, and the pitiful figure of the (hopefully genuine) Vizier is seen, Blodwydd is overwealmed with pity for his unfortunate state. "O yoo poor thing!" she exclaims, rushing forward and evading the chair leg while attempting to support him. "That mean ol' Wizzurd hurt you. Buh doan worry, I bet my fren Chereva kin helpya out!"
When the altercation between Amroth and Krandor breaks out, Blodwydd attempts to shield the old man from flying debris or spells.
...more likely to prove a thread than a shabbily attired Toad.
Woah! That turned out to be even better eric bait than I intended! ;)
I meant "threat" of course. Or at least I think I did....
"DoEs mY neCk lOok likE a hand-grIp?"
"You think maybay it should look like a stump instead?" Jamara answers curtly.
"What you doing?!?" Jamara asks suddenly when Krandor attacks Amroth. She drops Mot to make a grab for Krandor. "Why you attack him? Stop!"
Amroth tries to avoid Krandor by either pushing him back or by twisting his arm. "OK, furball, calm down. I wasn't gonna hurt him. I was trying to get his help! Next time you pull something like that...." He pats his monkey sack and walks away.
...noting the Tsathogua who has joined the group.
Actually, he's taken the leadership of the group from Shippy [sic], but being a very modest Herculean Toad genius, has decided not to tell anyone.
...there are three Toads still alive.
I thought I sent them to raid Khazan? Good help is hard to find these days.
"He killed Vlachos for us...."
Well, somebody had to save the day, and the Hobbit was too busy hiding.
...find a very old white haired man dancing around...
Grampa Witherspoon, I presume? [A reference to the Oblique Streams adventure! --ed.]
Seeing that you are not going to attack him....
How presumptuous!
"You shall meet my monkey friends."
Pervert.
"We shall spare your life if...."
Krandor grabs Amroth by the wrist... and cuts into his arm just below the shoulder in an attempt to remove the accursed arm.
Does Grampa Witherspoon need any more reasons to keep that chair leg in a ready position?
Blodwydd looks doubtfully at the green cloaked Toad before deciding to put her sword away.
Wait---I almost forgot---before you do this I'm supposed to threaten you about how tough I am.
Bloating up to three times normal size and spreading batwings ominously... <Ahem> "Put that toothpick away, or lose your arm along with it! You have no idea of the power I wield. Cross me and die. I alone defeated Vlachos; a puny foe like you would be swept aside like a gnat in a hurricane. I am the most powerful entity in the World Wrestling Federation. I destroy nations, steal from the 'have a penny, need a penny' jar, and play with fire near bears! I am Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n; pronounce my name and take thirteen hits of strangulation damage! Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
That should do it. I'm sure that has given you the incentive to be fast friends with me from now on.
Oh great. The Centaur gets naked and now Amroth is patting his monkey sack in public. Next thing you know a giant animated Orrin Hatch will come busting through the wall and destroy us all. Or maybe he'll just sing.
I thought this was a family show.
And what did he mean by "eric bait"?
snap
"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"
You forgot the best part! "Now go away or I shall taunt yyyoouu a second time!"
Stark says, "How long has it been since you've had a bite, old man? Here. It's not much, but it is damned good cheese," says Stark, handing Nook some food.
"...what are we going to do with the surviving Toads?"
"Let the poor beasts be," she replies simply.
Chereva clops over to the bedraggled man, for the moment ignoring the growing confrontation between Amroth, Krandor and now Jamara. "The closer to full transformation he comes, the more feral he seems," she silently ponders the contradiction that is Krandor. As she approaches, she smiles appreciatively at Stark's selfless gesture. She touches Blodwydd's shoulder to signal her own presence, and then moves in closer.
"I'm Chereva, dear sir. Your captor is dead, and we are setting you free. Hold still for a minute, and I'll heal you." Nook stutters some in protest, then is captivated long enough by what he sees to acquiesce. Chereva places the back of her hand gently against the man's cheek....
Felixia smiles when she sees the real Vizier. "I'm so glad we found you, we must see the King!"
As Amroth and Krandor begin to fight she spins, "We've come too far to have you two fighting here! We can try to get help for you both" she says.
...and a brain for the scarecrow, and a heart for the tin man, and some courage for the cowardly lion! <giggles>
As she approaches, she smiles appreciatively at Stark's selfless gesture.
Well, shoot, if I had known that I would've saved her Vlachos' nose.
I'm not even going to try to spell your Toad's name, Eric.
"I am the most powerful entity in the World Wrestling Federation."
That's not hard when you think about it. After all they are just a bunch of actors anyway.
"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"
You forgot to tell her to go away or you shall (insert fake French accent here) "Taunt [her] a second time," let alone "farting in [her] general direction. Her and her silly english 'knigets'!" (That's actually spelled 'knights' but the mispelling gets across the mispronunciation for all you poor souls who have never seen Monty Python's Holy Grail.)
...and a brain for the scarecrow, and a heart for the tin man, and some courage for the cowardly lion! <giggles>
Are you implying that I'm a coward? I'll have you know that I take my beatings better than anyone else I know and after I've taken them I get back up and whoop the crap out of whomever did it to me. For that matter are you implying that Amroth has no heart? After all, with all the armor he wears he's practically a tin man. And knowing Karanath, I can safely say that every crow I've ever met is afraid of him and he does have a brain.
"Here. It's not much, but at least it's got some meat and alchohol in it," says Fuzz, pulling out some of his food and handing the old man his wine skin, which is actually filled with a rather potent beer. He hands the man a day's worth of rations and lets him take as much as he wants from his beer, but first cautions him not to take too much because he'll be no good drunk.
As the conflict between Krandor and Amroth grows, he watches but refrains from entering the fight. Turning to Chereva, he says "Do you want me to shut them up? I could at least do it for Amroth, although I'm not sure whether Krandor will stop if I ask or not. But I could still try. Do you want me to?"
I'm so glad I left behind the evil Wizard and joined up with the murdering torturers... I mean the good guys.
I'm not a torturous murderer. I just don't like to carry around monkeys with beaks. They might be dangerous. Who knows, he might even be more dangerous than the Herculean genius Toad. As far-fetched as it might sound, there is that slim possibility.
I'm not even going to try to spell your Toad's name....
I like Lovecraft. All names are improved with an apostrophe or two.
That's not hard when you think about it. After all they [WWF wrestlers] are just a bunch of actors anyway.
It's real.
You forgot to tell her to go away or you shall (insert fake French accent here) "Taunt [her] a second time."
Boy, everyone seems to be harping about this. I'd argue the point, but you haven't paid yet. [As pointed out by several BFT passersby, this is a reference to Monty Python's "Argument Clinic" skit. --ed.]
I'll have you know that I take my beatings better than anyone else I know....
The most powerful entity in WCW.
...and after I've taken them I get back up and whoop the crap out of whomever did it to me.
A disturbing image, to be sure.
[Fuzz] hands the man a day's worth of rations and lets him take as much as he wants from his beer, but first cautions him not to take too much because he'll be no good drunk.
It's not as if the loon was any too sensible sober.
I'm not a torturous murderer. I just don't like to carry around monkeys with beaks. They might be dangerous.
Hey, I forgot about good ol' Mot. Jamara dropped him to get into that nutty arm brawl.
"Fly! Fly, man! They're crazy!" I'll "run" interference so Mot can fly away. (Well, I told you guys I liked him.)
Who knows, [Mot] might even be more dangerous than the Herculean genius Toad. As far-fetched as it might sound, there is that slim possibility.
No, he was only the most powerful entity in ECW.
All magic items given out may still be may be redistributed at a later time by the party. Just because you are carrying them doesn't mean they are yours! Nuff said!
Karanath leaves the group and the Citadel and heads off on his own. When Krandor lunges for Amroth, the Elf barely eludes the Wolfman's grasp, finding cover behind the other party members.
Glarghj'naslk'ncdl'n bloats 3¾ times normal size and spreads his batwings ominously as he declares his might. Blodwydd puts her sword away in response and comforts Nook, who accepts Blodwydd's help. He also accepts Stark's and Fuzz's food and drink, but waves off the healing offered by Chereva. Freaketa and Shipy both stand and listen.
"I'm not a monkey, I'm not a monkey, I'm not a monkey.... nOw sTop tHat!" says Mot to Blodwydd. He thinks while being carried by Jamara, "This is really embarrassing. I feel like a monkey." When Jamara drops him, he yelps, "Yeeeowich!"
"Yus youngins can call me Nook. Ah, you are here to see King Snorkin, are yee?" He looks up at Felixia, then the others. "Well I would be glad to help yee. No, no, no, I don't have a way to remove the cursed ring, I'm sorry, that's why I hid it in the book titled Unfortunate Magician, so no one would put it on!"
Leaning on Blodwydd as he walks (and eats and drinks), Nook leads your group outside, across the beach to the edge of the lake.
"Hmmm.... good food. It's been a while since I've eaten. That nasty Vlachos didn't get everything. Dig there," motions Nook. Nook looks at Chereva and says, "Ulp! Wow, things are changing these days! Back in my day we wore clothes."
Krandor quickly digs in the sand as directed. After a few minutes of digging he finds a shield, a suit of leather armor, a sword, and a feather. Krandor gathers the items and brings them over to Nook. Taking the feather from Krandor, Nook tosses it into the water and it instantly changes into a large boat resembling a swan large enough to carry everyone.
Nook then takes the sword and gives it to Blodwydd. He gives the leather armor to Chereva and the shield to Fuzz. He explains what each item does:
"Just get in the swan boat and it'll take you to King Snorkin. Don't worry about old Nook, I'll be just fine and dandy right here. Leave Mot here with me. He was my servant before Vlachos arrived, and he'll probably still be here after I'm gone."
"I'm ready to go see the King," says the princess, climbing into the swan boat.
What do you do?
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