The Day that Passions Died
(parody of the McLean song "American Pie")
A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How that show used to make me smile.
And I knew if JER had a chance
He would show us some romance
And we would all be happy for a while…
But July made the boat blow up
And Theresa never did grow up
Every single plot was bad
It just mad us all mad…
I can remember that I cried
When I read that Sheridan died
And I could skin JER’s hide
The day that Passions died…
So (Refrain)
Bye-bye Eskimo Pie
JER can’t eat it
Cause he’s going to fry
And the good old fans were getting angry inside
Screaming “This is the last time she dies
This is the last time she cries”
I can remember all the love
And I’d like to give JER a shove
Right out the door
First he has that stupid scroll
Then he was on a roll
Making the plots incredibly slow
But there were times that we loved him
Cause some of us called him Jim
But then he deserved the boos
Cause he gave us all the blues
He was only out for a buck
Not caring if we all said “Yuck”
And were just way out of luck
The day that Passions died
We started screaming
(Refrain)
Now often all we do is groan
Dear Heavens we should have known
How clueless could we really be?
When he demolished Ivy our Queen
And Charity got really mean
I guess we were too trusting to see
Oh and while Alistair was looking down
Laughing at people in the town
JER was writing crap
And we walked right into a trap
And while we were watching this farce
Good writers made themselves real sparse
And JER laughed off his arse
The day that Passions died
We were crying
(Refrain)
So we started ranting at the moron
Asking him what was going on
All he did was laugh
Even when we wrote on the show’s behalf
He just told us he would rather pass
And we felt for the suffering cast
We tried notes with stop signs high
Should we take away his Moon Pies?
This could be our last chance
To get back to the sweet romance
Because when JER coached the field
We had no choice but to yield
Even to what the spoilers reveal
For the day that Passions died
And we’ll keep crying
(Refrain)
Oh we are all stuck in the some place
And Alistair’s still without a face
With no chance to start again
So come on Jim don’t be a jerk
And put that poor cast out of work
Why can’t you be our dearest friend?
We’ve watched them all up on a stage
But now we’re all just filled with rage
Because even Charity in hell
Or Tabby without her spell
Can fill us with the same kind of delight
As did the couples making love in the night
Please give us one last chance to fight
On this day that Passions died
Or we’ll keep screaming
{Refrain}
Now we liked when Eve sang the blues
Or when Luis had happier news
But JER took that all away
So we should go to his local stores
And take all the snacks he ate before
And throw them all into the bay
Because otherwise we all will scream
Our lovers cry and our fans just dream
But what word could be spoken?
All the promises are broken
And the man we could admire most
Turned our show into a ghost
Yes that dear old show is toast…
The day that Passions died
But we’ll keep singing
{Refrain}
Yes we’ll keep singing
Bye-bye Eskimo Pie
We won’t let him eat it
Cause he’s gonna fry
And us good old fans are not gonna cry
Cause we won’t let our Passions die…
No we won’t let it die!
Disclaimer:
This story in is in no way meant to infringe upon the rights belonging to , NBC, or any entity thereof. All rights to Passions and any related content, including characters used, belong to "Outpost Farms Production Inc", James E. Reilly, and NBC.
This story is the property of the author. Copyright 2002. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without the written permission of the author.
The Day That Passions Died- Copyright © 2002 - All Rights Reserved.