Luis’ Narration:

At first, I could only stand there and listen to the woman I love, the woman I spent a year without, tell my brother that she wouldn’t mind if he stayed at the cottage because she owed him. My body fought between the numb feeling of defeat and the overwhelming warmth of my anger. I couldn’t feel my mother’s hand on my arm or my nails cutting into the palms of my hands. I was honestly ready to tell Antonio the truth, to tell him that Sheridan Crane was the woman *I* loved and that he wasn’t going to take her from me; no one was. But as I looked at Sheridan, her sad blue eyes pleading with me not to tell him, I realized that she was really in love with my brother. That somehow Sheridan couldn’t decide which of us meant more to her and that was why she put off deciding, because she couldn’t decide at all.

Well I was going to choose for her. For a year I had resigned myself to the fate of being without her and I knew then and there that I could do it again. If she didn’t want me, didn’t appreciate anything I had done for her in the past, then she could have Antonio.

“You know what?” I spoke, finding the attention of everyone in the room on me. Dr. Russell did not look pleased that my temper was getting the better of me and my mother’s cold brown eyes didn’t beg, they demanded I leave Antonio and Sheridan be. There was no way in hell I was stopping now that I started, not again, not for anyone. “I’m tired of this. I’m tired of everyone kissing his ass now that he’s back in town. For seventeen years I put everything I wanted on hold for my family, I struggled through two jobs and high school just so that our family had food on the table. I gave up scholarships to the best colleges in America so that my family wouldn’t go a day without heat or electric. I even pushed aside the love of a decent woman just so that my family wouldn’t be alone and I am tired of putting everyone else’s happiness before my own.”

I took a deep breath, nearing my older brother and looked deep into the blue eyes that were his genetic tie to our Irish father. “Do you want to know why I look angry, Antonio? Do you want to know why I keep looking at your fiancée the way I do? What I was talking about when I said I would tell you if she didn’t?”

He nodded mutely, obviously confused and amazed by my outburst.

“Sheridan Crane, the woman you love, is my fiancée. We were engaged to be married long before your sorry ass graced us with its presence and I rather thought we would be engaged long after you arrived back in town. Guess I was stupid to think that I could mean anything to someone like her, because Sheridan Crane obviously is in love with you more than she’s ever loved me, otherwise she wouldn’t treat me like shit and go running to your bedside.”

Sheridan went to speak and I cut her off with a look.

“And you. I put my life on the line for you. I struggled with your death for almost a year before I was willing to even try to move on. Hell I hadn’t really moved on I just made myself give up because you were supposed to be dead. I proposed to Beth, slept with her and regretted it every moment of every day! I loved only you and God help me I wasn’t a complete man without you and look what it got me in return? Nothing! Nada! Not a damn thing! Why? Because you are in love with my brother and you know what, Sheridan, you can have him. If you want a man that left his family when things got tough, that doesn’t care enough to even send a goddamn letter home while he’s gone for seventeen years, you can have him. I don’t need you anymore either!”

I started to leave when my mother’s hand reached out and touched my arm. “Mijo, please…don’t do this.”

I laughed mirthlessly. “It’s done already, Mother,” I growled with disdain. “You’re prodigal son has returned to us at last,” I feigned joy. “And now he can take over the responsibility he should have had all those years ago. You wanted your son back, now you can have him. Obviously his happiness means more than mine to everyone here, especially to you. I’m sorry. I busted my ass to make ends meet and he comes back and everyone wants to throw a party. Well now you can. I hope it’s a lovely engagement party you have for Sheridan and Antonio and I hope they have a wonderful life together,” I looked back. “I’m out of this place, out of this town. No one needs me here or wants me here. So I’ll find someone and someplace that does. I’m resigning from the position as your brother,” I looked at Antonio. “As your fiancée,” I told Sheridan. “And as your son,” I told my mother, ripping the St. Christopher medallion from my neck and dropping it into her hand.

From the chain fell the engagement ring my grandmother had given me. I heard it clink to the floor and roll over to Sheridan, stopping at her foot. She slowly picked it up, slid off the stupid washer from my brother and put the ring on. Her eyes beseeched me to see this as a positive sign, but I was too cold and bitter to see it as anything but a last minute attempt to atone for mistakes. Too little too late!

“Luis, please don’t leave me,” she dropped Antonio’s hand. “You know I love you. That I want to marry you.”

“I know nothing of the sort,” I replied angrily. “I would have believed it two hours ago…but all I believe right now is that you’re just like the rest of the Cranes. Too busy caring about how it would affect themselves then who they hurt. Well I’m hurt, Sheridan, and nothing you say or do will fix it.” I looked at the ring. “Maybe Antonio will use it to propose because right now it’s just another hunk of metal to add to your collection.”

And with that I left.

Sheridan’s Narration:

For a few moments after Luis left, the room was deathly quiet with the only sound being the sobs I fought. He had walked out of my life, turned his back on me because of my indecision and as much as I wanted to hate him for that, I couldn’t. He was right. I had totally and completely taking advantage of his kindness here. He had been as patient as possible until he witnessed the kiss I shared with Antonio, a kiss I much rather would have never happened. Instead of telling Antonio the truth, I had lied again and then permitted the man to move into my cottage. I had repeatedly passed up the chance to break the news to Antonio gently and instead his brother had done it for me in the most vicious way possible and we all deserved the lecture we received.

I turned to Antonio, confusion written across his pale white face, and sighed. I knew that he was thinking about and that the questions were bound to begin at any moment. Crossing my arms I looked back at the curtain, half expecting Luis to return. I didn’t know why I believed in such foolish things and I knew if I didn’t go after him quickly, I could possibly lose him forever. Before I had a chance to leave, Antonio grabbed my hand again.

“Sheridan, what was my brother talking about? How could you two be engaged? Do you love him? Is it true?” He tugged me down onto the bed, his eyes meeting mine.

“Luis and I were engaged to be married and were in Bermuda when the boat exploded. You found me at sea then, Antonio, but I couldn’t remember him. I’ve always loved him and despite the fact that I allowed myself to feel things for you, I still loved him. I didn’t want to let go of him and when I saw him at the cottage, it was as if the last year were only a dream. I never wanted to hurt either of you, Antonio. That’s why I didn’t say anything to you sooner. I love Luis and I want to be with him,” I sniffled, again looking at the curtain that still fluttered gently.

“But he’s gone now,” Antonio told me, fingering the gold band that Luis had once placed on my hand. “He’s gone and he doesn’t seem to want anything to do with any of us,” he said calmly. Almost too calmly if you ask me. He seemed completely unfazed by the fact his brother and I were engaged long before I ended up on St. Lisa’s. “Do you still love Luis?”

“I’ll always love him. I want to be his wife. We planned to have children together.”

“Do you still love me?”

“Part of me does,” I admitted. “I’m grateful that you saved my life and took care of me all these months. You laid your life on the line for me in that racecar and I can honestly say it meant a lot to me. But Luis has done so much too, Antonio. He’s been the only man to truly love me in a very long time. I can’t forget that.”

“I won’t ask you too,” he smiled, cupping my cheek. “But you’re my fiancée now, Sheridan, and I won’t let him take you away from me. Not now, not ever.”

I blinked stupidly, surprised at what an ass Antonio really was. He was so oblivious to the fact that I was still completely and totally in love with his brother. I wanted to just slap him to see if he had any response besides that drawled out placid attitude he’d had during our entire relationship. Pilar made the sign of the cross, sat in a chair in the corner and started praying, obviously terribly depressed about the fact that she had traded one son for the other. Hank left silently and all that was left were the two of us in silence.

Finally, I realized that the longer I waited here the further away Luis would be. Pulling away from Antonio, I dropped the silver washer onto the bed beside him. “I didn’t want to tell you about Luis because you were ill and if you died it would be on my head,” I explained. “But Antonio, I love Luis and I’m not going to let him get away from me. I’m sure if I hurry I can stop him from making the biggest mistake of his life. I’m sorry, but I don’t love you near as much as I love him. I’m calling off our engagement,” I placed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Goodbye Antonio,” I rushed out.

My only hope was that it wasn’t too late to save my relationship with the man I loved.

Luis’ Narration:

I didn’t even go home and pack, just climbed into my car and drove away. I was miles outside of Harmony in minutes, speeding through the dark wooded area in no time. Without a location in mind, I just drove, stopping occasionally for gas and food. I bought some clothing and rested for a while in a small town outside of Boston. I just kept driving and heading west, stopping here and there for food. Sometimes I would find people willing to aid me in my journey to distance myself from Harmony; an old woman that needed someone to mend an old fence who was willing to pay with dinner and a place on her couch, a family that had a flat tire and offered to let me use their shower because I slaved in the sun to fix their car. Just random people being kind to a man down in the dumps. Some of them were even willing to listen to my story about Sheridan and Antonio and it felt good to get that anger and sadness off my chest. Still, I missed her at night and I hated him during the day, but I didn’t look back: not once.

It was about a week later when I wound up in Los Angeles, right in front of the LAPD station house. I knew nothing else besides being a cop, so I went inside to apply but not as Luis Lopez-Fitzgerald. When I signed on I dropped the Lopez, telling the guys that my father was Irish and then left our family when I was a kid. It wasn’t completely false; the bastard had left us just like Antonio did, even if the Cranes were behind it. So there I was Luis Fitzgerald, the newest guy on the North Hollywood beat. I rented a nice furnished studio there and dedicated myself to working, despite my coworkers’ pleas to go out to the bars and enjoy myself. I just didn’t care anymore. All I wanted to do was pass the time and avoid anything that had to do with my past life. I awaited news that Antonio and Sheridan had married; after all, it would have been national news that Sheridan Crane was finally wed. But it never happened.

And that’s when she showed up on my doorstep. She was beautiful as ever; her hair cut short the way I remembered it from our time together, golden tendrils curling around her ear. Her blue eyes sparkled when she saw me and I noticed immediately that she was glowing in a way she never had before. Looking lower, I noticed her left hand resting gently against the swell of her stomach and my eyes flew to hers.

“Hello, Luis,” she whispered, looking down for a moment and then up again.

“Hello, Sheridan,” I breathed, barely able to believe she was here. “What are you doing here?”

“I’ve spent six months looking for you,” she told me, her hand beginning to caress the swell of her stomach. “We searched everywhere and no one knew where you had gone. If it wasn’t for your boss faxing Sam asking for a letter of recommendation, I might have never found you. I didn’t even think of looking for a Luis Fitzgerald! You totally disappeared and I was so distraught without you,” she sobbed. “I told Antonio I couldn’t marry him right after you left, Luis. I told him I loved you and wanted a family with only you. I don’t love him.”

“You sure didn’t seem that way when I was there,” I muttered bitterly. “You didn’t care.”

“I did. I was a fool. Luis, I need you. Our baby needs you.”

“Ours?” I looked down at her stomach and up again. “Our baby?”

She nodded mutely.

“Sheridan…are you sure?”

“I asked Eve if it was possible to do a DNA test without injuring the baby and she said it was. Using Antonio’s DNA, we tested to see if the baby was his. But it isn’t Luis. The baby isn’t his. It’s your baby, Luis. Ours. If you’ll have us.”

I stood there looking at her, unsure of what to say or do. I had been living in a haze for six months, getting by just by working double shifts in the LAPD. “I don’t know, Sheridan. I don’t know if I can go back there.”

“We don’t have to,” she looked at me hopefully. “We can stay here if you’d like. I know you have every right to close that door in my face and tell me never to return, Luis. I wouldn’t even blame you after the way I behaved that night. I was such an ass to try and protect him when all the while I was hurting you, the man I love more than myself. If I could change it, I would, but I can’t Luis. I can’t change a thing. But I’m here now and if you’ll forgive me for being so stupid, perhaps we can rebuild that relationship we once had,” she pulled a gold chain from around her neck, slipping it over her head and dropping it into my open palm. I looked down to find the sparkle of the engagement ring I gave her almost two years before. “I’ve worn it close to my heart to remember the man that was my heart and took it with him when he left Harmony.”

“So Antonio left too huh?”

“Luis, please,” she choked, tears falling freely.

I sighed. I couldn’t turn away my child and I damn well knew I couldn’t push away Sheridan. With a gentle smile I took her left hand into mine and slid the engagement ring back on, chain and all. “We’ll work on our problems.”

“Does this mean?”

I nodded. “I love you, Sheridan.”

“I love you too, Luis,” she hugged me as closely as she could and I found my hand caressing the swell of her abdomen.

“A baby,” my eyes twinkled.

“Our baby,” she amended.

“Words have never sounded sweeter,” I kissed her lips gently. “I guess I’ll have to turn in my resignation again,” I looked around the studio apartment and I could sense Sheridan’s panic.

“Resignation?” she queried hesitantly.

“Yea, from the LAPD. It’s time to go home and mend some fences, don’t you think?”

She nodded happily, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I think so,” she kissed me soundly. “I was dead without you, Luis. Please don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t,” I promised sincerely.

And I didn’t.

The End

Disclaimer: This story in is in no way meant to infringe upon the rights belonging to , NBC, or any entity thereof. All rights to Passions and any related content, including characters used, belong to "Outpost Farms Production Inc", James E. Reilly, and NBC.
This story is the property of the author. Copyright 2002. Nothing may be reprinted in whole or in part without the written permission of the author.
Resignation- Copyright © 2002 - All Rights Reserved.