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CRZ's Massacre Recap
May 03, 2001

By Christopher Robin Zimmerman
WrestleLine/Wrestlemaniacs

MY TWO CENTS: I've been receiving words about how my show recaps are. Ya don't like me, bite me!!!

QUOTE OF THE WEEK: As usual I'm pushed out again! Left in the dark just like Kurt Angle! -Cain Hunt

TONIGHT: Razor faces Josh Storm for the KFC Hardcore Title!! Raizin Hell goes against the Degenerates for the Tag Titles!! Christian York and an unknown partner goes against Cain Hunt and ANOTHER unknown partner!! Enforcer goes against Brimstone for the World Title!! It's title mania here tonight on Thursday Night Massacre!!!

THIS WEEK'S MIAMI VICE GUEST STAR: (tie) Isaac Hayes and Ving Rhames (with a WICKED flat top!)

We are live in some unknown arena in an unknown city as fireworks go off and we kick off tonights edition of Thursday Night Massacre. Christian York is seen in the back talking to Ary Moreno. "Ary, you know that I wasn't supposed to be here tonight. So what's up with you sticking me against Cain?" "Hey, it's all about business okay? Nothing personal against you. Just go in there, do you job, and go about business." Job eh? Sounds like a prediction for later on tonight.

Josh Storm is seen coming out with his KFC Hardcore Title on one shoulder, the BOW Bloody Title on his other shoulder. He grabs the microphone on the outside of the ring as Razor waits on. "You know the deal, when a champion of my calibur is about to enter the ring the referee always lifts the ropes. YOU wouldn't know a thing about that Razor." Storm enters the ring and speaks again. "It's in this town where guys like...HANDSOME Harley Race, NATURE BOY Ric Flair, THE NATURAL Josh Storm...Work HARD to preserve the GREAT sport of professional wrestling, a dipshit like you has nothing to say about it!! But not tonight." What? "You see, me being the greatest KFC Hardcore Champion this federation has ever seen, I have no reason to let this garbage belt hold me down. So Razor, I'm gonna give you a present. Tonight I will lay down in the middle of the ring, have you on top. 1, 2, 3...Congradulations Razor, I just put your ass over."

JOSH STORM vs RAZOR for the KFC Hardcore Title - Storm lays down in the middle of the ring and begs for Razor to pin him. Razor seems a bit hesitant to do so. Razor skips around in the ring as the crowd gets on him to pin Storm and get out of there. Razor slowly approaches Storm. Razor lays on top of Storm. 1, 2, NO!! Storm fooled him!! Storm grabs his legs, rolls around on the mat, and locks in the Stormlock!!! Razor taps out almost immediately and this "match" is over. (0:57 - Submission DUD). Storm grabs the microphone as Razor lays on the mat. "What you think I'm STUPID? This goes out to anyone out here. Storm lays down for NOONE. I'm going for it all here in the BOW. Tag titles, hell I'll win those on my own if I have to. Enforcer, Brimstone, don't do anything that Josh Storm wouldn't do. You're looking at the next World Heavyweight Champion."

Commercial Break.

Christian York enters the ring as the show comes back on. Cain Hunt is already waiting inside the ring as both of them stare at each other. Both of them seem hesitant because they have no idea who Ary picked to be their mystery partners. We hear some scuffling in the back. Ary is trying to push a couple guys out towards the ring. "If you don't go out there, your ass if fired okay? That's it, end of story." And out comes out, the HAPPY GO LUCKIES?? Oh christ, Ace and Gary enter the ring and so we have this match.

CHRISTIAN YORK and ACE vs CAIN HUNT and GARY - York looks toward the back as Cain does the same. Both of them give Ary the "what the hell is this" type of look. Ary grabs the microphone, "You two need a little love in your life to calm down your damn bitching towards each other. Have fun guys, heheheh." York starts in the ring and Gary is on the other side. Ace jumps on top of York and begs him not to hurt Gary's pretty little face. York shoves off Ace and Gary clips his leg from underneath him. Gary whips York off the ropes. York ducks, goes off the other side, and hits Gary with a flying forearm. York covers and Ace shoves him off. York gets pissed and tags Ace in with a right hand to the face. York tosses Ace in and now Ace and Gary are in the ring. Both of them refuse to hit each other. Gary wants to tag Cain in but then he thinks twice realizing what Cain will do to his tag partner. Gary and Ace whisper in each others ears and think up a plan. Both of them slowly approach their tag partners. At the same time they try to tag in Cain and York, but Cain and York nail them with right hands!! Cain and York have enough with Ary's mindgames and get into the ring. Cain and York start beating the hell out of the Happy Go Luckies!! Cain tosses out Ace and York tosses out Gary. York and Cain back up into each other, and start wailing away!! York and Cain stumble out of the ring as the two of them trade right hands. The referee can't control the action and throws out the match. (2:04 - No Contest DUD) Referees start rushing down to the ring to break up the brawl. Ace and Gary are seen outside the ring checking on each other.

Commercial break.

As we return. Ary is seen in the back snickering to himself looking on at what happened just moments ago. We go back to the ring as the steel cage lowers for the final two matches. Enforcer is in the back talking to the Degenerates pumping them up for their title defense. "Degenerates, you have a mission. That is to BEAT the living hell out of those WANNABE superstars, Raizin Hell!!" Lawless speaks, "That's right, these guys have no chance in HELL. And Brimstone, after we beat Raizin Hell to a bloody pulp, it's your time to win what is rightfully yours...The BOW World Heavyweight Title."

Commercial break.

THE DGNR8S vs RAIZIN HELL in a Ladder and Cage match for the BOW Tag Team Titles - Both teams charge and start beating the hell out of one and other. Lawless dumps Vault over the rop as Lightning gives Dirtbag a piledriver. Lightning follows Lawless on the floor. Lawless slingshots Vault into the cage and Lightning follows that up with a spear. Vault is dead. Lightning goes to pick up Vault and Dirtbag flys over the top with a plancha!! Lightning is down on the ground but Lawless clotheslines Dirtbag as he got up. Lawless throws Dirtbag into the ring and goes to work. Right, right, right, right, right, left, kick, off the ropes, BACKDROP OVER THE TOP ROPE!!! Dirtbag is toast on the outside as Lawless goes to set up the ladder in the middle of the ring. Lawless starts to climb but Vault is on the other side now!! Both guys fight on the top of the ladder. Vault says screw it and SUNSET FLIPS over to the opposite side of the ladder, bringing Lawless down with a powerbomb!! Holy SHIT. Lightning goes to climb also, but midway up Dirtbag dropkicks the ladder from under as Lightning crashes back down. Vault picks up Lawless and holds him up. Dirtbag goes for a superkick but Lawless ducks and Vault gets drilled. Vault stumbles over the top rope, and gets his leg wrapped on the ropes in the process. Lawless with a DDT on Dirtbag and now Lightning goes for the belts. Lightning on top of the ladder. Lightning snags the belts!! Now all they have to do is climb outside the cage. Lightning tosses a belt to Lawless and now both of them work to climb out of the cage. Dirtbag sets up the ladder near the side of the ring where the Degenerates are climbing. Dirtbag climbs the ladder. No, way. Dirtbag with a top of the ladder CROSS BODY into both members of the Degenerates!!! All three guys crash to the floor. Vault makes his way over after he was temporarily taken out. Vault grabs the belts and makes his way up the cage. Lawless tries to stop Vault, but Vault kicks Lawless in the head and begins his decent!! Vault over on the other side. Vault is out of the cage!!! Razin Hell with the upset!!! Wait a minute, the ring announcer grabs the microphone after the referee tells him what's going on since everyone things that Razin Hell just won the titles. "Ladies and gentleman. The match can only end when BOTH members of the tag team makes their way out of the cage and both members are holding a seperate belt. This match must continue!!!" Dirtbag is still in the ring at the mercy of Lawless and Lightning. Vault doesn't know what to do so he stands there hoping that Dirtbag can fight them off. Lawless sets up Dirtbag as Lightning jumps off the top rope. Spike piledriver on the floor!!! Dirtbag Dogg is roadkill. Lawless and Lightning climb over the cage and make their way down to the other side. Vault goes apeshit as Lightning chases Vault around the floor. Lawless is waiting on hand to drill Vault with a clothesline. Vault ducks the clothesline and LIGHTNING gets drilled with it!! Vault tries to throw one of the titles over to the other side of the cage, but it gets draped on TOP of the cage. Lawless runs towards Vault and spears him. Lawless takes the belt that Vault had. Lawless has HANDCUFFS?? Lawless handcuffs the belt to him, genious!! Vault gets taken out with a steel chair that scrambled his brains in. Lightning starts to make his way up the cage to grab the tag title hanging up top. Dirtbag is also back up as he makes his way up on the other side. Both guys meet each other at the top of the cage on opposite sides. Lightning with a right, Dirtbag returns the favor. Right, right, right, right. Dirtbag winds up, BIG RIGHT hand that sends Lightning off the cage CRASHING into an announce table!! Holy mother of god. Lightning before flying off though grabbed the belt and the referee calls for the bell. The Degenerates retain the tag titles!!! (14:59 - ****)

Enforcer is seen in the back shaking his head in approval as his comrades retain the titles. Brimstone is seen warming up for his match. The world title match is next!!!

Commercial.

BRIMSTONE vs ENFORCER in an Armageddon Match for the BOW World Heavyweight title - The rules are simple for this match. A best of 9 falls steel cage match. Enforcer starts it off with right hands. Right, right, right, kick, chop. Enforcer whips Brimstone off the ropes. Brimstone ducks, goes off the other side, and nails Enforcer with a clothesline. Brimstone nails another clothesline. Brimstone goes for another. Enforcer ducks and swings. Brimstone ducks THAT attempt and hits the THIRD clothesline. Brimstone shoves Enforcer into the corner and starts beating the hell out of him. Enforcer grabs Brimstone, throws HIM into the corner, and returns the favor. Enforcer whips Brimstone into the opposite side but Brimstone counters. Enforcer hits the other side, stumbles out, and Brimstone nails him with a big boot to the head. 1, 2, Enforcer kicks out. Brimstone whips Enforcer off the ropes. Enforcer counters the irish whip, stands in position, and SPEARS Brimstone to the outside of the ring!! Both of them crash onto the floor as the referee starts up the 10 count. Both guys up at 8. Enforcer stands on the other side and charges Brimstone. Brimstone backbody drops Enforcer and his head BOUNCES off the steel steps!! Ugh, that was sick, and it was enough to keep Enforcer down. Brimstone runs over and pins on the floor. 1, 2, 3, Brimstone picks up the first fall. Brimstone tries to pin again but Enforcer kicks out at 2. Brimstone goes for a piledriver on the floor. Enforcer counters by lifting up Brimstone, and SLAMMING him onto the steel steps with a wheelbarrow slam!! Both guys are down as the ref starts the count. Enforcer gets up at 9 and the ref counts 10 with Brimstone still down from the sick slam!! Enforcer ties up the falls 1 to 1. Enforcer draps over Brimstone for the pin and gets a two count. Enforcer throws Brimstone in the ring and nails him with an elbow drop. Enforcer goes up top and dives off, but Brimstone raises the foot and Enforcer goes down. Brimstone gets back up and goes for a chokeslam, but Enforcer low blows him. DDT!! Enforcer covers for a 2 count. Enforcer tosses Brimstone outside of the ring and follows up with a double ax handle. Enforcer rams Brimstone into the cage but Brimstone gets pissed and DESTROYS Enforcer with a clothesline. Brimstone picks up Enforcer and POWERBOMBS him onto the cage wall!! Enforcer stumbles over and Brimstone CHOKESLAMS him on the floor!! 1, 2, 3. Brimstone leads 2 to 1. Brimstone grabs a table from under the ring and sets it up on the floor. Brimstone takes Enforcer to the outside part of the ring apron and sets up for a piledriver. Enforcer counters with a lowblow. Enforcer with a right, right, right, left, right. Enforcer hooks Brimstone by the head. Enforcer floats onto the second turnbuckle, twists, and TORNADO DDTS Brimstone onto the table!! Holy SHIT, Brimstone buckled down and gashed his head on the ringsteps in the process. Brimstone is busted open now as Enforcer quickly rushes for the pin. 1, 2, 3!! Enforcer ties it up 2-2. Brimstone isn't able to get up after Enforcer pinned him, so he goes over and pins him AGAIN!! Enforcer with ANOTHER fall out of ONE move. Wow, don't see that happen often. Enforcer is in the lead 3-2 now. Enforcer tries 3 in a row, but Brimstone kicks out at 2. Enforcer tosses Brimstone to the opposite side and charges with a spear. Brimstone moves out of the way as Enforcer spears his head THROUGH the cage. Oh, my, god. Enforcer's head literally went through the cage and now his entire face is bloody. Brimstone rolls up Enforcer. 1, 2, 3. Brimstone ties it up at 3 a piece. Both Brimstone and Enforcer are a bloody pulp now. Brimstone picks up Enforcer. Enforcer grabs a chair as Brimstone does the same. Both of them turn around, swing, and hit each other at the same time. The referee starts the count. Both guys can't seem to get to their feet and the referee calls for the bell. Both pick up a fall and it's now 4-4. Next fall wins the match. The referee counts again, but both get up this time. Brimstone swings, Enforcer swings. Both guys are sucking wind now as the match gets closer to the end. Enforcer ducks Brimstone's right hand. Enforcer with an atomic drop. Enforcer with another atomic drop. Brimstone ducks the third atomic drop, but Enforcer clotheslines him. Enforcer drags Brimstone into the ring as starts hitting some kicks to the midsection. Enforcer goes for a superkick. Brimstone grabs the foot, spins around Enforcer, and nails him with a stunner!!! 1, 2, Enforcer kicks out!!! Brimstone goes for a press slam. Enforcer counters, kicks to the midsection, and hits a powerbomb!!! 1, 2, Brimstone kicks out!!! Enforcer goes to the outside and tosses in a couple chairs. Enforcer in but Brimstone kicks in the midsection and hits a DDT on a chair!!! 1, 2, Enforcer kicks out again!!! Brimstone charges Enforcer. Enforcer ducks, goes off the ropes, and both guys drill each other with clothelines. The ref starts the count. Both guys pick up a chair off the ring apron. Enforcer swings, Brimstone swings, they drill each other at the same time. Brimstone falls down and Enforcer falls on TOP of him. 1, 2, 3!!! Enforcer is the new World Heavyweight Champion!!! (18:59 - Pinfall ****1/4) Enforcer's music plays as the referee hands him the world title. The ending of the show has Enforcer holding the title over his head as Brimstone gets to his feet. Both guys stare at each other.

End of Show