CRZ's Massacre Report
By Christopher Robin Zimmerman
MY TWO CENTS: No comment for the fear that I might get banned from the internet.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "You're welcome." -Perry Saturn
TONIGHT: Tonight, logic gets thrown out of the window. Tonight, paranoia runs right. Another episode of Massacre, oh my!!! Clap damnit, CLAP I SAY!!!
As always, a jam packed UNKNOWN arena rises to their feet as Thursday Night Massacre kicks off!! Before anything happens, Christian makes his way out to the ring as the announcers have not a clue of what's going down. Christian grabs a microphone. "I have come out here for one reason and one reason only. You see, I've been getting alot of criticism for my sense of booking. Getting criticism for the fact that I'M the one in charge. Well no shit, my name is Christian York and I'm the PRESIDENT of Bloody Online Wrestling. What I say happens, happens. So if you don't like what I have to say, I could give two damns about it because that's just the way I am. NOK, you don't run this place, I do!! So tonight is no different. Enforcer, tonight you WILL put the world title on the line against an unnamed opponent. And Justin Credible...I gave you a shot at going for the Bloody Title despite the fact that you clocked my ex girlfriend upside the head. That shows what kind of trust I have in a man formerly known as Aldo. But if you don't want the match, fine. You won't be on the show, PERIOD. Enjoy the festivities, enjoy the spotlight fans, cause tonight is gonna be one hhheck of a night. Thank you."
Enforcer is in the back looking at a monitor pacing back and fourth.
JOSH STORM vs TAZER - Bell rings as the match gets underway. Tazer runs in full charge but gets planted into the turnbuckle. Storm rolls up Tazer and locks in an anklelock. Tazer gets to the ropes. Tie up in the ring. Tazer with a headlock takedown. Storm counters with a headscissors. Storm countermoves a headlock counter into a hammerlock. Tazer elbows out, but Storm punches a couple times before hitting a standing dropkick. Tazer goes to the corner but Storm stomps a mudhole in him. Double underhook into a backbreaker by Storm for a 2 count on Tazer. Storm picks Tazer up and chops away. Tazer pokes the eyes and runs the ropes. Storm ducks a clothesline but Tazer hits a right hand. Tazer chops away some more. Whip off the ropes. Tazer goes for a Thesz Press. Storm counters the move, wraps around, and locks the Stormlock. Good night, Tazer taps(4:07 Submission - *).
We go backstage where the American Crippler and Ice Cold are looking around. They find York. Ice Cold speaks. "York, what's the deal brotha? Why is it that a couple jacked up jackasses like the Happy Go Luckies get a match and we're left out in the cold? Give us a match, it doesn't matter who the hell it is. We're 5 time tag team champions and we deserve a little respect around here." York laughs a little. "Respect? Lemme tell ya something, you don't come up to me with an attitude like that, got it? But, you guys seem to be a good pair. The type that gets around alot. So I'll tell ya what. You can have a match tonight, cool?" Ice Cold gets an estatic look on his face. "So who's our opponents?" "Oh well that's the catch. Heh, you're looking at him." "I'm facing you?" "No, you're going to be facing the American Crippler in the ring, tonight. And if you DON'T go through with this match, you can forget about any future shows. Ciao." Ice Cold and American Crippler have looks on their faces as if they crapped themselfs.
Commercial Break.
SHANNON and GARY vs VIXEN and ACE - Gary and Ace once again have been stuck into a match against each other so the clique won't complain. They don't mind though, since they wrestle all the time anyway(in other ways). Anyone can be in the ring against someone, even if it's male versus female. Gary and Ace start it off. Gary and Ace with a feeling out process that's ummm, a sight. Gary and Ace actually pull off some nice mat maneuvers. Ace with an armbar and Gary counters with a headscissors. Ace flips over for a pin but Gary bridges out of it and rolls him up for a 2. Ace gets a drop toehold and tags in Vixen. Vixen with a forearm to the face. Gary tries to get to the corner to tag, but Vixen clotheslines him. Ace begs for a tag and gets it. Ace with some more mat maneuvers. Snapmare on Gary into a headlock. Gary counters with a back suplex. Ace tags and so does Gary. Shannon runs in and spears Vixen. CATFIGHT!!! Shannon with the move that is done in every womens match, a hair drag. Ace runs in and Shannon SUPERKICKS him, wow. Vixen gets clotheslined out of the ring as Gary runs in and forearms Ace. Gary and Shannon doubleteam. Ace ducks a clothesline and Vixen drags Gary out of the ring. Ace telegraphs a move and gives Shannon the Testicular Claw(minus the testicles of course)!!! Yeah, that'll get banned from TSN. Ace pins Shannon for a 2 but Gary broke it up. Vixen comes in and all hell has broken loose. Shannon kicks Ace into the corner and goes for a broncobuster!? Gary can't watch it happen, and CLOTHESLINES Shannon(ha)!! Ace rolls up Shannon and gets the three. Damn, nice little crap match. I'll be generous(6:12 Pinfall - **). Enforcer runs down to the ring and kicks the living shit out of Gary and Ace. Vixen bolts out of the ring. Chokeslam on Gary, chokeslam on Ace. Enforcer kicks Gary in the midsection and powerbombs him before getting on the mic. "You wanna play mindgames? You think your little mystery partner is supposed to mean something?" Enforcer kicks Gary in the head. "Just an example of what'll happen later tonight."
RC Cola Rewind of the week goes back to the D-Day PPV where DX faced off against the Triple Threat for the tag titles in a ladder match. Lawless gives Simon Diamond a Lawbreaker while he's hanging from the belts. Both crash to the mat in the biggest holy shit spot of the night.
Enforcer checks up on Shannon in the back. "Enforcer, you didn't have to come out during the match you know. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself." "I just wanna make sure that you're okay." "Huh."
ICE COLD vs AMERICAN CRIPPLER - Ice Cold and American Crippler look at each other with a confused expression about what they should do. And before anything can occur, Justin Credible and Shane Douglas bum rush them with the belts(0:08 No Contest - DUD). What a match!!! Sure it'll win MOTY honors. Anyway, Credible superkicks American Crippler and Douglas gives Ice Cold the Franchiser. Both of them leave the ring as the cameras zoom up on the Cold Hearted Crew who are flat in the ring.
Commercial Break.
Angelfire presents the BOW Rewind. The rewind shows footage of Enforcer laying out Ace and Gary. Enforcer powerbombs Gary to end the clip.
JUSTIN LAWLESS vs SHANE DOUGLAS(with Francine) for the BOW Bloody Title - Douglas of course talks trash towards Lawless. Lawless just shrugs it off and beats the SHIT out of Douglas. Lawless whips Douglas off the ropes and dropkicks him over the top rope. Lawless runs off the other side and dives onto Douglas. Christ, ass beating to the EXTREME. Lawless tosses Douglas in. Douglas stomps on Lawless as he made his way back into the ring. Douglas chops away at Lawless in the corner. Lawless shoves Douglas into the corner and chops him out of his boots. Lawless covers for a 1. Lawless goes for a suplex, but Douglas low blows him. Douglas hits the Pittsburgh Plunge for a 2. Douglas goes for the Franchiser, but Lawless shoves him off and hits a boot to the head. Lawless covers for a 2. Lawless rolls up Douglas again with the tights for a 2. Douglas bitches about the tights being pulled, only to have Lawless kick him in the midsection and hit a DDT. Another 2 count on Douglas. Douglas chops back, but Lawless pounds on him some more. Douglas fights back again, and hits a snap suplex. Douglas goes up to the top rope and hits a splash!! 2 count on Lawless. Lawless kicks and goes for a stunner, but shoves him off. The referee gets knocked down. Lawless counters another Franchiser and hits the Lawbreaker. No referee. Enter Justin Credible. Credible sneaks in from under the ring and CRACKS Lawless with his cane. Security rushes in and drags Credible out. Douglas covers, but the ref is out. So to make things MORE interesting, Ice Cold and American Crippler come out with a couple chairs. Both enter the ring and Francine runs into the ring. Francine spears Crippler!!! Douglas gets up, only to get a chair to the head by Ice Cold. Francine jumps on top of Ice Cold, but Crippler gets up and gives HER a chair to the back. Owch. Lawless rolls on top of Douglas as the referee counts. 1, 2, 3. Lawless wins(7:46 Pinfall - **). As Lawless gets up slowly, Ice Cold ROLLS HIM FROM BEHIND!?? 1, 2, 3!! Holy shit, Ice Cold steals the Hardcore Title!! Well it is 24-7 rules afterall. Credible is seen backstage trying to rush out, but security is busy with him. Lightning rushes in too add to the damn overkill. Lightning swings with a chair, but Ice Cold ducks and CRIPPLER gets the chairshot. Ice Cold rushes out and jets down the ramp with his Hardcore Title.
Commercial Break.
As we get back, Ice Cold is in the back celebrating winning the Hardcore Title. Justin Credible comes out and goes for the kill, but so does Lightning. Both try to swing chairs but Ice Cold ducks. Crippler dashes down and chairs Credible as the Cold Hearted Crew make a run for it. Both of them get in their car which is already on and speed off.
CAIN HUNT and SLYDOG vs SHOTGUN and MYSTERY PARTNER - Shotgun is in the ring by himself. He says that he can take care of business by himself? We'll see. Cain is in but Slydog wants to start the match. Cain nods his head and tags. Slydog charges Shotgun but gets a clothesline for his troubles. Shotgun takes Slydog to the corner and beats him down with rights to the head. Shotgun suplexes Slydog over for a 1. Slydog pokes the eyes and goes for a clothesline but Shotgun drop toeholds him into the turnbuckle. Shotgun goes for a pin but Cain kicks him in the head. Shotgun swings but Slydog bolts to the corner and tags in Cain. Oh yeah, here we go. Cain and Shotgun exchange blows. Cain gets the advantage, but Shotgun fights back and hits a kneelift. Shotgun hits another kneelift. Cain goes reeling to the corner. Shotgun charges, but Cain dodges and Shotgun's head gets planted into the turnbuckle. Cain kicks to the midsection and hits the SKULL CRACKING RIFLE OF DAMNNATION(aka a piledriver)!!! Cain covers. Shotgun kicks out at 2! Cain tags into Slydog. Cain lifts him up for another piledriver, and Slydog stuffs him down!! Slydog covers and Shotgun gets his foot on the ropes at 2!! Slydog tags back into Cain. Cain and Slydog hit a double hiptoss into a powerbomb. Shotgun is fucked. SHOTGUN KICKS OUT!! Damn. Cain goes ballistic and tosses Shotgun out of the ring. Cain clears off the announce table and plants Shotgun's head into it. Cain climbs up on the table as the referee tries to get him off. Cain sets up Shotgun for a piledriver on the table, but all of a sudden "One" by Metallica plays. The WAI symbol appears on the bowtron as HACKSAW makes his way out!! Holy shit. That slight pause in Cain gives Shotgun time to recover as he backdrops Cain off the table onto the floor!! Ugh, sick. Slydog baseball slides out of the ring but Hacksaw clotheslines him for his troubles. Shotgun is still hurtin from the double teams as he rolls Cain back into the ring. Shotgun covers for a 2. Cain regains his senses and tags in Slydog. Slydog punches away and hits and seated dropkick. Slydog hits a russian legsweep on Shotgun and looks to put him away. Cain wants the tag, and gets it. Cain goes up to the top rope. Cain goes for a splash and misses!! Both Shotgun and Cain are down. Cain tags in Slydog, and Shotgun tags in Hacksaw!! Hacksaw blocks a punch and hits 5 of his own. Off the ropes, kick of fear!! Hacksaw hits a huge clothesline and pins for a 2 as Cain breaks it off. Shotgun charges and Cactus Clotheslines Cain over the top rope. Slydog goes for a piledriver, but Hacksaw counters into a wheel barrow slam. Slydog staggers into Hacksaw. Hacksaw kicks in the midsection and hits a pumphandle slam. 1, 2, 3. Hacksaw and Shotgun win(9:58 Pinfall - **3/4).
Enforcer is making his way down to the ring with Shannon by his side. The World Title match is next!!
Commercial Break.
Enforcer makes his way out for the match. His opponent still hasn't been named though as everyone waits on. As he waits on, Christian York is seen on the bowtron as Enforcer looks on. "Ahh yes, what's goin on Enforcer? Nothin much here right now, just layin back in my office with nothing to do. I know you like to think that you're in charge with all the swing you have backstage. You're not in charge, I AM!! So, for all the hard work you've done, I've got a present for you. Consider this a present from one former world champion to another. Cause that's what you're going to be after tonight, a former champion. PA man, play the music." Pearl Jam's "Jeremy" plays over the PA system as Enforcer stares down the entrence way. Out of nowhere, Christian rushes from the crowd and hits a slingshot dropkick off the ropes onto Enforcer!!
ENFORCER(with Shannon) vs CHRISTIAN YORK for the BOW World Heavyweight Title - Christian stomps away at Enforcer who is backtracked to the turnbuckle. Christian hits a spinkick that knocked Enforcer down to the mat. Christian CHOKES Enforcer!!! "How's this for a cruiserweight eh Kev?" York has flipped. Christian pushes Enforcer out of the ring. Christian off the ropes. Springboard Shooting Star Press, holy shit!! Enforcer is still getting back up though. Christian whips Enforcer. Enforcer counters, and Christian crashes into the steel steps. Enforcer picks up Christian and tosses him into the ring. Enforcer enters the ring and delivers a sky high hip toss. Enforcer with a double underhook suplex for a 2. Enforcer goes for a clothesline, but Christian counters into a go behind. Falling reverse DDT on Enforcer. Enforcer moves out of the way on a Lionsault attempt, but York lands on his feet. Christian goes for an enziguri but Enforcer counters into a reverse powerbomb. Enforcer pins, but pulls Christian up at 2. Enforcer whips Christian off the ropes. Christian ducks a big boot with a slide under Enforcer's leg with Christian's head lowblowing Enforcer in the process. Christian with a pillmanizer as he takes Enforcer to the corner. Split legged moonsault on Enforcer for a 2. Christian goes for a tumbleweed off the top, but Enforcer grabs a hold of his throat. Enforcer gets back up and hits a big ass chokeslam. Enforcer is feeling it as the crowd responds. Christian staggers back up. Enforcer kicks to the midsection and hits a pumphandle suplex. Enforcer gets a 2 count on Christian as he put his foot on the ropes. Enforcer picks up Christian in a guerilla press and snaps him down with a powerslam. Enforcer knocks Christian into the corner and hits the otherside. Enforcer charges but Christian sidesteps as Enforcer's shoulder goes into the ringpost. Enforcer rolls out and gets a kick to the nuts. Christian grabs a hold of Enforcer in the corner and hits a Diamond Dust!! 2 count on Enforcer. Christian hits the otherside and goes for an elbow. Enforcer catches him and drops him with a full-nelson slam. Enforcer stands on the second turnbuckle, but Christian recovers and dropkicks Enforcer in the head. Christian rolls Enforcer off the turnbuckle with a sitdown piledriver!!! Christian slowly gets back up. Christian tries to pull Enforcer to the center of the ring, but cannot so instead he goes for the Crab 2.0. Enforcer is too close to the ropes though and grabs a hold of it. Enforcer gets to his feet as Christian jumps on his back with a sleeper hold. Enforcer gets drowsey, but in an act of desperation falls backwards and drives York to the mat. Enforcer says thats enough and powerbombs Christian. 1, 2, 3. Enforcer retains the title(Pinfall 9:59 - ***). Enforcer walks out of the ring, but then Lars comes out with Justin Credible and Shane Douglas and tells him otherwise. Lars grabs the microphone. "It's not over till I say it's over. FINISH the JOB!!" Enforcer gets a wicked smile on his face as Douglas and Credible rush into the ring. Douglas grabs a hold of York and Credible chairs him in the face. Enforcer tells them to back off. Lars chairs the hell out of York!! Enforcer lifts up Christian, and throws him powerbomb style from the ring onto an announce table!! Christian is toast. Enforcer is smiling, but then Recoil dashes in the ring and chairs Shannon out of nowhere!! Recoil dashes out of the ring as fast as he came in and grabs a mic as he enters the crowd. "Whether ya like it or not...Enforcer, I'm gonna make your life a livin hell." Enforcer tells Justin and Shane to go after him as he checks on Shannon. The cameras break to the concession stand where Recoil is making a run for it. Justin and Shane make a chase, but then Lightning and Lawless jump over the concession stand and chairs them in the head!! The crowd goes nuts. Enforcer looks on at the bowtron as the show comes to an end.
End of Show.
June 14, 2001
WrestleLine/Wrestlemaniacs
