CRZ's Massacre Report
By Christopher Robin Zimmerman
MY TWO CENTS: Finally, the CRZ has come back for your viewing pleasure...and whatnot(Happy 5th of July or something).
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "My name is Stonecold Steve Austin." -Steve Austin
TONIGHT: Thursday Night Massacre is back after a long layoff. 6 Man Tag Team Main Event Madness...Ohhhh yeeahhhh(no it's not the return of Randy Savage)!!!
BOW comes on the air as the fireworks go off. We are live once again at the unknown arena in an unknown city...Just use your imagination or something. Anyway, as we get to the ring we start off with a good ol hardcore match.
BOB LOMBARDI vs CAIN HUNT for the BOW Hardcore Title - Lombardi starts on the attack as Cain enters the ring. Cain no sells a few punches to the head and rips Lombardi's head off with a clothesline. Bodyslam on Lombardi followed by an elbowdrop. Cain goes to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair. Lombardi baseball slides out of the ring. Cain misses a chairshot, and Lombardi dropkicks the chair into Cain's head. Lombardi with a couple chairshots as he throws Cain into the ring. Lombardi searches under the ring for plunder and throws some weapons inside the ring. Cain gets back up but Lombardi gives him a fire extinguisher shot to the head(as in he hit him WITH the thing...not spraying him with it). Lombardi pins for a one count. Cain blocks a chairshot and DDTs Lombardi onto it. 2 count on Lombardi. Cain gets out of the ring and grabs a table from under the ring to a huge pop from the crowd. Cain sets up the table, but Lombardi nails him in the head with a kitchen sink. Lombardi gets set up on the table. Cain goes to the top rope and goes for a splash but misses(the table DIDN'T break). Lombardi goes to the top rope and splashes Cain on the table(and it STILL doesn't break). Lombardi goes for another splash, but Cain decides to get up for the fuck of it and crotches Lombardi on the top turnbuckle. Cain hits the SKULL CRACKING RIFLE OF DAMNNATION(aka a piledriver) through the table(which finally breaks)!!! Cain pins Lombardi. Cain gets a 2 but the referee is pulled out by Purple Hornet!! Cain goes to the outside of the ring and destroys Purple Hornet. While all this is happening, Felix Randall comes out from the crowd and hands Lombardi a roll of quarters(old school baby). Cain gets back into the ring and picks up Lombardi who DRILLS him with the quarters. Quarters fly all over the place. Lombardi covers Cain and gets the three. Nice little garbage match(6:00 Pinfall - **).
Triple H is taping up his fists getting ready for his match next. RVD is shown in his lockerroom also stretching out. Their match is next!!
Commercial Break.
TRIPLE H vs ROB VAN DAM(with Bill Alphonso) - Crowd is split in between who to cheer and who to boo. Both lock up and exchange armbars. Small package by RVD for a one. Back up, lock up again. Triple H with a headlock and a take down. RVD flips out of it and poses to the crowd. Triple H with an eyepoke followed by right hands to the head. RVD goes off the ropes. Triple H misses a clothesline, but catches him with a second attempt. Triple H picks up RVD and hammers on the leg. Triple H goes for a kick but RVD backflips away and hits a spinkick to the head. Fonzie gets on the apron and distracts the ref as RVD lowblows Triple H. Split legged moonsault on Triple H gets a 2 count. RVD goes for a cross bodyblock, but Triple H sidesteps as RVD crashes to the ring floor. Triple H goes to the outside and whips RVD to the guardrail. Fonzie goes around the other side with a chair. Triple H grabs the chair away from Fonzie and kicks him in the midsection. Triple H turns around and RVD nails him with the Vandaminator. RVD throws Triple H in the ring and pins him for a two count. RVD whips Triple H off the ropes. Triple H counters a backdrop with a chestbuster followed by a DDT. Triple H covers for a two. Triple H goes to the top rope(which never works). RVD gets back up and hits him with a jumpkick to the head. RVD hits a superplex on Triple H. RVD makes his way to the turnbuckle. Five star frogsplash gets blocked by Triple H by lifting his knees up. Triple H gets up, kicks RVD in the midsection, and hits the Pedigree. Fonzie gets on the apron once again and distracts the ref. Triple H gets annoyed and tosses Fonzie into the ring. Triple H hits the Pedigree on Fonzie but now the DUDLEY BOYZ make their way out!! Triple H turns around and eats a 3D as the referee calls for the bell. Triple H wins by DQ(7:21 DQ - **1/2). Bubba and D-Von hold Triple H to the ground as RVD hits the frogsplash and leaves him laying in the ring. Fonzie stumbles back up to his feet as all four make their way out of the ring.
Commercial Break.
As we get back, Triple H is backstage complaining to Lars and York about how he was attacked. York replies, "Hey, it's all fair game isn't it? Afterall, it was a wrestling type of beatdown, right? Come on Lars, we have better stuff to do. Nice win by the way." Triple H grabs his bag and walks out.
Douglas, Justin Credible, and Enforcer are seen in the back watching the monitor as EX makes his way out for his title defense.
EX vs CHRISTOPHER DANIELS for the BOW Cruiserweight Title - Tie up in the ring. Brief mat wrestling sequence with nobody gaining advantage. Daniels and EX do another sequence leading to a pin on EX for a 2. EX chops Daniels. Daniels returns the favor and hits a dropkick. EX rolls to the outside of the ring. Daniels teases a suicide dive, but instead baseball slide dropkicks EX on the outside. Daniels rolls EX in the ring for a 2 count. EX counters a tilt a whirl backbreaker with a short powerbomb for a 2. Snap suplex followed by a standing legdrop on Daniels for another 2. EX sets up Daniels on the top rope. EX goes for a huracanrana but Daniels holds onto the top rope. Daniels comes off the top with a blockbuster for a 2. Daniels hits a side russian legsweep and follows up with a moonsault off the top rope. 2 count on EX. Daniels goes for Last Rites. EX runs the turnbuckle and flips out of the Last Rites. EX hits the Kyledriver out of nowhere and pins Daniels. 1, 2, 3. EX wins(5:26 Pinfall - **).
NOK are in the back clapping their hands. Enforcer says, "Lets go guys, we're up next." 6 Man Tag Main Event is next!!
HACKSAW, SHOTGUN, AND RECOIL vs SHANE DOUGLAS, JUSTIN CREDIBLE AND, ENFORCER - Credible and Hacksaw start up exchanging punches, Hacksaw gains advantage, Credible nails a dropkick and tags in Douglas, Douglas picks up Hacksaw and goes for a DDT, Hacksaw blocks it and pokes Shane in the eyes, tag to Shotgun. Shotgun gets a huge ovation from the crowd as he dominates Douglas, suplex by Shotgun, Douglas is in trouble, repeated stomps by Shotgun, Douglas rolls into his corner and tags in Enforcer, the fans pop as both men go head to head, neither gains advantage, both start a sequence of moves, Enforcer and Shotgun lock up, Shotgun pushes Enforcer into the corner, Shotgun charges towards Enforcer but is met with a big boot, Shotgun goes down, Enforcer climbs the second rope and drops an elbow, Shotgun rolls out of the way just in time, he gets up and hits repeated kicks to the ribs of Enforcer, Recoil wants a tag, Shotgun tags in Recoil, Recoil hits a standing moon sault on Enforcer, Enforcer rolls to his corner but denies a tag, instead he takes down Recoil with a clothesline, he gets on top of Recoil and hits him with many punches to the head, Shotgun steps in illegally and kicks Enforcer in the face sending him back, all hell breaks lose as the Franchise Players enter the ring, Hacksaw jumps in, Hacksaw and Shotgun both take on the Franchise, they brawl all the way outside of the ring, meanwhile in the ring Enforcer and Recoil are going at it, Recoil sets up Enforcer for his finisher the point blank, just when he is about to hit it Enforcer avoids it, Recoils falls down, Enforcer nails a hard shot to the midsection followed by the New Breed, with the WAI busy on the outside battling against the Franchise Players Enforcer gets the pin. 1, 2, 3. Enforcer, Douglas and Credible win(10:03 Pinfall - ***).
End of Show.
July 5, 2001
WrestleLine/Wrestlemaniacs
