| The Freshman | Living Conditions | The Harsh Light Of Day |
| Fear, Itself | Beer Bad | Wild at Heart |
| The Initiative | Pangs | Something Blue |
| Hush | Doomed | A New Man |
| The I in Team | Goodbye Iowa | This Years Girl |
| Who Are You | Superstar |
The Freshman
Willow: Well, you did sorta wait til the last minute with your course selection.
Buffy: Sorry, Ms. I-Chose-My-Major-In-Playgroup.
Willow: He's still on his cross country see America thing. He said he wasn't coming back til he's driven to all 50 states.
Buffy: Did you explain about Hawaii?
Willow: Well, he seemed so determined.
Buffy: You know, this store discriminates against short people.
Willow: Oh, I think there's a protest next week.
Buffy: Oh God, I'm so sorry.
Riley: I'm okay... it's okay. Well, that was bracing.
Buffy: I'm so... the books were just too high, and then every thing was bad...
Riley: So are you girls taking Intro Psych? Or do you just want me dead?
Buffy: Uh huh... I mean.. the first one.
Buffy: You know, I was just wondering. Professor Walsh isn't planning on yelling at me and kicking me out of the class, is she?
Riley: It's not in her lesson plan.
Buffy: Great.
Eddie: Of Human Bondage, have you ever read it?
Buffy: Oh, I'm not really into porn. I mean, I'm trying to cut way back.
Eddie: No, there's no actual bondage. It's just a novel.
Vampire: Does this sweater make me look fat.
Sunday: No the fact that you're fat makes you look fat, that sweater just makes you look purple.
Buffy: Well, it looks pretty bad! I think someone has a little too much free time on their hands.
Giles: I'm not supposed to have a private life?
Buffy: No! Because you're very, very old. And... it's gross.
Buffy: How am I supposed to hunt in this mob? Don't you people have homes?
Buffy: Why didn't you call me?
Xander: Well, I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to, you know... help you move.
Xander: No one really bothered me or even spoke to me until night where one of the male strippers called in sick, and no power on Earth will make me tell you the rest of that story.
Willow: Buffy wouldn't just take off. That's just not in her nature. Except for that one time she disappeared for several months and changed her name. But there were circumstances then, there's no circumstances.
Xander: Do we hug?
Oz: I think we're too manly.
Buffy: You run?
Giles: Congratulations, you found me out. I'm a mod jogger.
Buffy: He had a cloak on, glowy green eyes, and his skin had a, like, super bad fake rub-on tan.
Giles: You took your roommate patrolling with you?
Xander: Hey! Say hi to non-college guy.
Xander: Something apocalypse-y? Do we need to assemble the Scooby gang?
Kathy: Eww! Who left their gum here?
Buffy: And the worst part? I wake up, and there's Kathy staring at me like I'm some kind of freak.
Willow: What kind of demon runs around putting ooky blood dreams into people's heads? Like some kind of nightmare fairy. It's not right.
Willow: If it wasn't for this English paper, I'd be there right now, listening, doing the girly best-friend thing.
Buffy: Kathy's evil. I'm an evil fighter. It's simple. I'm gonna have to kill her.
Buffy: Evil toenails. I took them off the floor last night when she was in the bathroom. She thought I was asleep.
Xander: I'm not enjoying this.
Anya: You should lock your door.
Xander: And there's the whole you used to be a man-killing demon thing. Which, to be fair, is as much my issue as it is yours.
Buffy:Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection.
Buffy: What's the matter, Spike? Dru dump you again?
Harmony: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
Harmony: Hey, I don't have a pulse. Cool!
Xander: But sexual interc-- What you're talking about, well--and I'm actually turning into a woman as I say this--but it's about expressing something. And accepting consequences.
Anya: And frankly, it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not... interlock. Please remove your clothing now.
Buffy: Okay... just... shirt.... pants... everybody needs pants...
Buffy: One more thing before I go...
Spike: Harm, what are you doing?
Buffy: You know what? I'm an adult and it's none of your business where I was.
Oz: Okay, either I'm borrowing all your albums, or I'm moving in.
Harmony: Being a vampire sucks.
Living Conditions
Giles: And jump. And bend. And occasionally frolic.
Buffy: Okay, you're not having one of those mid-life things, are you? 'Cause I'm still going 'ick' from the last time you tried to recapture your youth.
Giles: Translate?
Buffy: Orangey?
Buffy: Well, I invited the whole dorm, but she was the only one that could make it.
Buffy:Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?
Buffy: No, but thank you for asking.
Xander: I just got way too excited, didn't I?
Buffy: Gum gnome?
Oz: Well, actually, the worst part I'd have to go with, the demon pouring the blood down your throat.
Willow: Me, too. I would vote for that, too.
Oz: Well, I'm against it.
Oz: Well, I can do that.
Willow: You can?
Oz: Oh, I'm not saying we'll braid each other's hair... probably. But I can hang with her, watch for signs she's going over the edge.
Willow: Good thinking. 'Cause in the middle of the night, those toenails could have attacked you and left little half-moon marks all over your body.
The Harsh Light Of Day
Giles: Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish."
Xander: I just don't get your crazy system.
Giles: My system? It's called the alphabet.
Xander: Huh. Would you look at that.
Giles: Believe me, I am kicking myself.
Xander: Anya? The last time I saw you fleeing in terror. How'd that work out for you?
Spike: Maybe I dumped her!
Harmony: She left him for a fungus demon. That's all he talks about most days.
Spike: Harm!
Spike: No.
Harmony: Oh. Can I make him a vampire?
Spike: No. Wait. On second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time.
Anya: Oh, I have condoms. Some are black.
Xander: That's... that's very considerate.
Xander: And the amazing thing... still more romantic than Faith.
Parker: A kiss.
Buffy: Well, I was going to go with pants, but, uh, a kiss is good, too.
Harmony: I'm writing 'Spike loves Harmony' on your back.
Spike: Why?
Harmony: I don't know... it's fun I'm bored... you can write on me.
Spike: I've gotta get back to work...
Harmony: You love that tunnel more than me.
Spike: I love syphilis more than you.
Giles: I'm sincerely relieved to hear it. Now, can we discuss the impending disaster?
Giles: Oz, there are more important things than records right now.
Oz: More important than this one?
Giles: Um, I suppose an argument could be made for...
Xander: Whoa, Giles has a TV. Everybody, Giles has a TV! He's shallow like us.
Oz: I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed.
Giles: I-I-I...
Willow: Well, maybe it doesn't work. It's like art.
Giles: Uh... public television!
