I wanna go home!
Tell me about the little sisters!
Now, children, shutting up your older brothers is a task upon itself. IT IS NOT TO BE UNDERTAKEN BY ANYONE WHO: sneezes constantly, is capable of ignoring Emily Brogan singing, knows how to recite the alphabet backwards, or wants to experience a little "family-bonding" time. (I mean, come on! Who believes in family bonding anymore anyway?) It also is not for anyone who appreciates the government.
This is a multi-step process, people, so stick with me here!
1)At breakfast, happen to mention the Purple Wombats of Doom. This will work especially well if your brother is a Trekkie. Hopefully his eyes will bug out and he will choke on his cereal.
2)If you and your brother are going on a car ride, as in in the same car, then insist upon talking to him about the most emotionally-scarring issues. Now, you know your brothers better than I do, but I suggest previous girl-friends (if the break-up was emotional and messy), the fact that he doesn't need to shave, his voice cracking, his deoderant not working. Hopefully, of course, your brother is not the violent type, or you may be attacked.
3) At lunch or dinner the next day happen to mention the changes of the thing they call "puberty". Use your brother as an example. (He was cute before, isn't now, etc, etc.)
Gradually your brother should stop talking to you if you continue to talk about these topics, and the only time you see each other will be at meals when your parents force you to eat at the same time.
I must say, it works really well for me!
