"Woof woof," said the dog.

And now, saved here for posterity...

MONICA'S FIRST ATTEMPT AT TYPING HER OWN DOCUMENTS

Hi, my name is Monica Flegel.  How do I do certain things?

Number of dogs whose names end in diminutive -ee: 9

The Instructor Says:

Wow, that certainly is an interesting analysis of dog names.

But I don't believe you included a thesis statement in this essay, and therefore you get a zero.

Better luck next time! 

MONICA'S SECOND ATTEMPT

Dog names.  They reveal so much about us.  How we feel inside, how we live, and how we die.  Yes, DOG NAMES.  They are as varied and as beautiful as we ... I mean, as our dogs are.  In this essay, I will illustrate just how the multitudinous varieties of dog names has enriched our understanding of the canine world, and yes, of our own world and our very lives, in the multitudinous beauty and the efficacy of our forever straining souls for the ideal of the beautiful, the perfect, and yes, the down-right good.

If you have read my previous work on this subject, you are perfectly aware that the diminutive -ee is a common ending for dog appellations of all kinds.  This will not do.  As dogs are our friends, and one might even say, signifiers of our more simple selves, such deliberate chicanery and pompous foolishness must be ended.  The only truism which we grasp of the canine world, is that a dog's gastronomic rapacity knows no satiety.  Obviously, the vowel sound -ee does not properly grasp the significance of this great canine reality.  Any attempt to render dogs “cute” or “cuddly” is miching mallecho, and means mischief.