Five-Minute "Timeless"
Chakotay: Oo, I found a frozen Voyager! What do I win?
Harry: I'll go get Doc.
Chakotay: I'll go remove Seven's skull.
Harry: Oh, you get all the fun.
Doc: What's going on here?
Harry: I'll tell you after the flashback.
Janeway: We've got a new drive! Everybody get your hopes up!
Chakotay: While we're at, let's have dinner together to appease the J/Cers.
Neelix: Congrats, B'Elanna! Have a bug.
B'Elanna: Um, thanks.
Doc: Are you drunk, Seven?
Seven: Synthehol is irrelevant. Hic.
Tom: Hey Harry, if we use this we'll die.
Harry: Shut up! I'll miss my chance to go angsty and bitter.
Tom: Look, how many holotests will it take till you see reason?
Harry: I'm betting on 47.
Chakotay: Well, guess we'd better give up.
Harry: Wait! Try this plan!
Chakotay: Looks like everybody would die except you and me. I like it.
Janeway: I'd like your opinion about the flight.
Chakotay: I think it's a really bad idea.
Janeway: Okay, I don't want your opinion anymore.
Harry: ....and then the ship crashed.
Doc: And you went to all this trouble just to save me?
Chakotay: Get over yourself! We're here to fix history.
Doc: But how?
Harry: Does the phrase "grave robbery" ring a bell?
Doc: Poor Seven. What a way to go.
Harry: Yeah, yeah. Just rip the junk out of her skull, holo-boy.
Doc: Is it just me, or are you a little more angsty and bitter than before?
Tessa: Hiya Doc.
Doc: Do I know you?
Harry: Don't sweat it, she's just another Chakotay Girl.
Doc: But he had one two weeks ago, and I haven't since season two! Unfair!
Chakotay: You know, this'll erase your last 15 years.
Tessa: Yeah, but I'll do it because I wuv you.
Chakotay: I wuv you too. No wonder your name is "asset" backwards.
Harry: Hey lovebirds, we're detecting a cameo on an intercept course!
Chakotay: Have you checked and double-checked absolutely everything?
Harry: Who cares? We've got salami!
Janeway: Everybody ready to die?
Everybody: Yes, ma'am!
Janeway: Then let's go!
Tessa: They're closing! I can't believe I let you drive.
Chakotay: The cameo's hailing us.
Geordi: Hi, I'm Captain LaForge. You may remember me from such shows as--
Chakotay: Cut that out!
Geordi: Same to you. I really don't want to blow you up.
Chakotay: Too bad. Bye.
Tom: Here goes! Whee!
Harry: Hurry up! I don't like being shot at!
Doc: Wimp.
Tom: Hurry up! I don't like crashing!
Harry: Wimp. Here you go.
Janeway: Uh oh, the corrections don't work.
Seven: We're crashing! Harry, you really suck!
Doc: Found it!
Harry: Excellent! Try these numbers on for size, Seven!
Seven: I'm getting new numbers from Harry.
Janeway: Our Harry?
Seven: Nope, some other Harry. And judging from his numbers, this one really sucks too.
Harry: Oh no, Voyager's screwed!
Chakotay: Too late to go back. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll fix it in 15 years.
Janeway: Let's land on that ice planet. It'll make for great special effects.
Tom: We're crashing!
Janeway: Nuts. All hands, prepare to die!
Harry: Oh no, I messed up!
Chakotay: Fix it fast, we're gonna blow!
Doc: Come on, Harry! You can do it!
Harry: No I can't!
Doc: Okay, do something else!
Harry: That's it! Something else!
Geordi: Give it up, you're about to explode!
Tessa: With Chakotay at the helm, what did you expect?
Harry: Here we go! Mind if I kill you, Doc?
Doc: No problem. Bye.
Harry: It worked! Time to go boom.
Seven: I'm getting new numbers from Harry.
Janeway: Our Harry?
Tom: Who cares, just gimme the numbers! Whoops, there goes the slipstream.
Janeway: What was that for, Harry?
Harry: What? Did I do something?
Harry: Sorry, Captain. Looks like I just about screwed you over.
Janeway: It's okay, you fixed it 15 years from now.
Harry: Huh?
Janeway: Here, he left a message.
Future Harry: You're a moron, but thanks to me you didn't kill anybody. Bye!
(Voyager blasts off at Ludicrous Speed -- albeit less than before)
THE END
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