presented by the Vigilante Girls(written by Denise and Meredith)

Death #8
tess has been wandering around roswell all night. max and liz had to work on a science experiment together. alex and isabel went to the observatory. and the last time she saw michael and maria they were arguing over mulder and scully's realationship. so, she has been wandering around wreaking havoc. blowing up tress, flatening tires, you know, the usual for a pissed off alien. she walks by the crashdown, looks in and smiles an evil smile. she uses the last of her power to open the lock. she then begins to wreck the place the usual way. breaking glass, throwing chairs. she spots the milkshake machine. she begins to move it towards the edge to kill it but then thinks better, she goes under the machine in order to first suck all of the yumminess out of it (kinda how she is sucking the life and soul out of our soul) unbeknowst to her, her hair gets caught on the machine. she cannot keep up with the speed of the machine and tries to pull back, her uberblonde hair will not allow this. she begins to choke to death, before she can, the milkshake machine totters over the edge, crushing her to death.

Death #9
the thing everyone should know about tess is that she is hugely nosy. she loves to eavesdrop on conversations. especially if it involves a human and an alien fighting. which was why she is so happy when, as she is walking by liz's place, she hears michael and maria arguing up on liz's balcony. she cannot make out the words so she climbs halfway up the ladder. maria is saying that she came over to liz's specifically to get away from him. he wants to know what is going on with her and brody. she tells him that it is none of his business, that they are not together and that he should go and make out with a skin. "oh, this is getting good" tess thinks. she climbs higher up the ladder. however, she is almost discovered this way. maria says that she is not going to stand around and have him yell at her for hanging out with someone else. she goes for the window, michael closes it with his powers, she then goes for the ladder, he detaches half of it from the balcony. tess hangs on for dear life. michaels tells maria there is one thing she needs to hear before she leaves. "oh yeah, what? that the reason you can't be with me now is that you realized you're in love with max?" michael does not look pleased. "no, i realized that when i said maybe i loved you too much, i was wrong" maria's face drops. she cannot speak and her eyes begin to tear. he takes a step towards her, "there is no maybe about it. i love you and i won't let you leave" with his powers, he takes out the other half of the ladder. tess falls to her death and m and m are so into each other...they dont even notice. boo hoo

Death #10
tess is bored. all of her "friends" have gone holiday shopping and failed to inviter her. can't imagine why. to entertain herself she decides to go online and check out various wb sites. as she clicks on links, she decides to read up on dawson's creek. she sees something called fanfic and clicks on it. she begins to read a story and realizes that a character in it, chris wolfe, sounds an awful lot like max. so, she spends hours and hours reading the stories. she goes from g to nc-17 very quickly. the computer is very old and has been fixed the valenti way, with involves duct tape. she has been drinking water ever since finding the "naughty" stories. she is so distracted that she does not notice when she spills the water on a wire that has been fixed using the valenti method. she clicks on the mouse to scroll down to the climax of the story and is electrocuted. the headline reads "harding hard up - dies"

Death #11
tess has gone on vacation. she decided to leave roswell for a little while, cause for some strange reason, she thinks that no one likes her. she goes out to california to where she thinks that she can relax. california, coincidentally, is due for a big earthquake. she goes site seeing, does the usual tourist crap. she is back at her hotel room. the big one hits, she stands in the doorframe and while millions are dying, she is saved...she walks out into the hallway after every one has been evacuated, heaves a sigh of relief, then she is crushed by the roof as it caves in....

Death #12
tess is wandering the hall of w. roswell high. she goes to her locker to grab her stuff in order to leave for the day. she hear max talking to her left, she turns and sees him hurrying after liz. they appear to be fighthing. thinking quickly (for her) she jumps into her locker, leaving it ajar slightly, so she can listen to their conversation. it is one of the "i have to stay away from you for the good of your people/no you don't i love you" conversations. through the slats in the locker, tess can see that liz keeps trying to leave but max will not let her. as liz tries to walk away again, max grabs her by the shoulders and gently pushes her against tess's locker. she hears the snick of it locking. he then tells liz that he loves her and tess means nothing to him. they kiss, they make up. tess is left alone in the locker....she tries to open it...she cannot...she remembers that it is the last day of school before a holiday....she begins screaming, no one hears her..... she tries to use her powers but they are so depleted from blocking everyone's brainwaves from realizing that she is an evil skank, that the only thing she succeeds in doing is sealing off all of her airways.....she tries to claw her way out but that does not work, either. no one notices that she is not around and she suffocates in her own locker.

Death #13
tess is at the valenti household. she realizes that her uberblonde locks are losing some luster. she decides to dye her hair and keep that "natural" color in. she, however, does not read the warning label on the bottle which reads "if you are an evil alien that will make millions unhappy by destroying human/alien realationships, this product is hazardous to your health" she applies the dye. it feels fine for the first few seconds...then she feels a burning sensation....and them BOOM!!!!!!!!! tess is no more.

Death #14

Please note that these deaths are for amusement only. They are not to be taken literally or as a threat to Emilie De Raven's personal well-being. I didn't proofread them at all, so there are probably some spelling errors and stuff because these were sent through casual email correspondence. Just ignore them =)

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last edited - 11.10.02.

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