Teaser: (The screen is black, then we hear...)

NARRATOR: Previously on "The X-Files"...(then see above.)

NARRATOR: And now the conclusion... (Black in to Skinner's office. Mulder and Scully look at each other in amazement.)

SKINNER: That'll be all, agents. You may leave.

MULDER: Thank you, sir. (they get up and leave. Outside the office, in the little reception bit, no secretary is present.)

SCULLY: Do you really think it's Skinner's long lost brother in there?

MULDER: I didn't know he had a brother. Well, I guess it must be if Skinner recognises him. Frank Skinner. Has a nice ring to it, don't you think! (Skinner reappears at the door.)

SKINNER: Agent Mulder, in my office now. (Mulder enters. Scully waits patiently, passing the time by examining the secretary's desk, the walls [wow] and the ceiling, before the scene cuts to Skinner's desk, and Mulder sitting at it, opposite Skinner himself.)

MULDER: Yes, sir?

SKINNER: Exactly how did my brother come about having a broken leg, and a wounded shoulder, agent Mulder?

MULDER: First, he fell down some stairs, after his own brand of bullet exploded and projected him down to the bottom floor, and then he started threatening everybody outside, so I disarmed him.

SKINNER: Exploding bullet?

MULDER: It's all in the report, and agent Scully will back it up.

SKINNER: Riiiiight. According to witnesses, only you and Scully were present outside.

MULDER: (Protecting the Lone Gunmen is a difficult job. Mulder thinks carefully before answering.) Yes, that's right. But he was threatening passing cars, pointing his gun at windows. So, agent Scully and I decided it would be best to disarm the suspect, before he hurt himself or anybody else. In fact, I hit him first time!

SKINNER: I'm sure Quantico would be proud of you Mulder, but. . .

MULDER: Before you continue, may I ask a question?

SKINNER: Yes?

MULDER: How long has your brother been missing?

SKINNER: Coincidentally, thirty years today.

MULDER: Today? OK, so how, after thirty years, do you still recognise him?

SKINNER: I should be able to recognise my own twin brother. And you still haven't given me a valid explanation for his injuries. (Mulder mouths "twin?" to himself in disbelief, but decides not to annoy Skinner further.)

MULDER: He's our one and only suspect in the murders. What did you expect me to do, leave him there?

SKINNER: So? For all you knew he could have been me! I don't appreciate being shot, as I presumed you knew. Bearing that in mind, I would have thought you'd be a little more careful who you point your gun at. Especially after last night. (He means the party, mentioned in "Coincidence". Mulder doesn't wish to remember the previous night, so continues:)

MULDER: He's committed two murders at once, sir.

SKINNER: That will be all, agent Mulder. (Mulder gets up, and walks towards the door. The camera pans across, through the wall, to see Scully listening with her ear to the door, frowning [you know how I mean] as she tries to listen to the conversation inside. As Mulder opens it, she topples over, and is, this time, caught by Mulder.)

SCULLY: Sorry, I'm not meant to do that, am I?

MULDER: So, you heard?

SCULLY: What do you think? (They leave the receptiony bit and proceed down the corridor, the infamous 'beating-up-Skinner-in-public' corridor.)

MULDER: I don't know.

SCULLY: If he presses charges, you can always plead insanity!

MULDER: It's so weird, Scully. (He suddenly stops. Scully carries on walking a few paces, realises that Mulder's no longer by her side, then turns around and walks back to him, completely confused.)

SCULLY: What now?

MULDER: Meet me in the basement in ten minutes. I need to check something. (He runs off down the corridor. Scully checks her watch. Then she walks the other way down the corridor. As she rounds a corner, she stops in her tracks, and freezes against the wall to let the oncoming person pass her. The person, you see, is Phoebe Green, or Diana Fowley, depending on who you 'prefer', and she is holding a file.)

WOMAN: Agent Scully?

SCULLY: (avoiding eye contact) What do you want?

WOMAN: I came to give you this. (Scully looks up - the woman is now Holly, from "Pusher" and "Redux".)

SCULLY: Holly! Am I glad it's you!

HOLLY: Are you OK, agent Scully?

SCULLY: Yes. Sorry, you looked like somebody else for a second.

HOLLY: Somebody that bad?

SCULLY: Let's just say an. . .acquaintance. Not a particularly pleasant one.

HOLLY: Well, I'm just little old me! (Scully takes the file from Holly.) Before you ask, that's some new case notes and stuff. It just faxed through from someone called 'Danny'. Do you know anybody by that name?

SCULLY: No, not anybody that springs instantly to mind. Probably a friend of Mulder's, or something. (She's lying, obviously!)

HOLLY: But you're Mulder's friend, right.

SCULLY: Much I hate to admit it, yes.

HOLLY: Well, aren't his friends your friends? (Scully ponders the question, remembering all of Mulder's 'friends' that she has had to endure over the years: Phoebe, Frohike, Luther Lee Boggs, John Lee Roche, et al... She bears the same expression as she wore in "Small Potatoes", when the 'Luke-Skywalker-woman' asks her if LS could be the father of all the kids.)

SCULLY: I can't say I managed to relate to any of Mulder's friends, to be honest.

HOLLY: Oh. (Before we continue, a little back story. Scully and Holly, for some unknown reason, no offence to either, have recently become friends. Maybe Scully was bored with just Ellen, Kathy and Mulder. Maybe she's trying to get Holly back into Skinner's good books. Actually, the real reason is that I need to fill up a very empty plot with a lot of meaningless, yet funny conversation!) Weren't you friends with Tom Colton for a while?

SCULLY: A very short while. (Although the magazine just proved this wrong. The two of them walk down the corridor in the general direction of the stairs. A lift would cut the conversation short by about five minutes!) You see, the only main problem with working with Mulder is the jokes. Everyone thinks I'm a psycho!

HOLLY: I heard you got called "Mrs. Spooky" once or twice. Is it true?

SCULLY: Do we have to bring up that topic again. Yes, it's true. And it was a lot more than once or twice, too. Yes, it annoys me! (Holly gives her a very accusing look, which Scully soon disproves:) No, I do not wish to be literally "Mrs. Spooky"!

HOLLY: I never said a word.

SCULLY: You implied. I have a keen eye for people who imply things. It comes from working with Mulder for six years!

HOLLY: Are his theories really as weird as the rumours say? I mean, is everything UFOs and little green men?

SCULLY: Grey.

HOLLY: Sorry?

SCULLY: Little GREY men...my God, he's got me doing it, too! Seriously, though, he does occasionally come up with an almost sane theory. They're usually just bizarre guesses. I sometimes think he just makes it up as he goes along. For example, as soon as I start to agree with the latest theory, he comes up with another one. (They've almost reached Mulder's office. Scully stops by the nearest shelves, as she sees Mulder approaching, and hides. Holly carries on moving, but Scully grabs her arm and pulls her behind the shelves, too.)

HOLLY: What's wrong?

SCULLY: Nothing. (Mulder has entered his office)

HOLLY: Are you still embarrassed to be working with him? After five years? Surely he can't be that weird, Dana.

SCULLY: No, we had a bit of a silly case to solve yesterday, and it still isn't finished. I was just worried he'd wave or something if he saw me with a friend.

HOLLY: Y'know, sometimes I feel sorry for you.

SCULLY: Thank you. Thank God there are some sane people left in the world that I can relate to!

HOLLY: And there are other times when I envy you.

SCULLY: Envy me? Why? You're not another one he's asked out are you? Because if he has, and I pity you, I'll murder him...

HOLLY: (she has a look of total disgust on her face.) No way. Everybody's suspicious, that's all. They think you two are having an affair or something. I can't say I blame them, though. Especially since your his longest running partner to date. Mulder gets through partners faster than you disprove his theories.

SCULLY: Do you realise how unreassuring that sounds?

HOLLY: I do now, yes! I heard all about the case with the babies with tails!!!

SCULLY: You did? (Holly nods.) Now, I'm embarrassed. What do you think?

HOLLY: I think you don't know your partner well enough not to notice he was a weird shape-shifter.

SCULLY: That still doesn't explain why everybody thinks we're having an affair.

HOLLY: I think they suspect that because you're his first female partner.

SCULLY: That proves nothing.

HOLLY: Maybe. But last night at his birthday party, agent Blondell saw you two getting a little too friendly.

SCULLY: I assure you and agent Blondell that absolutely nothing happened at that party except Mulder getting a little drunk.

HOLLY: That's not what I heard. Blondell said he saw you at eleven, went to find you to inform you of something, and couldn't find you anywhere, then at eleven-thirty you were back in your places again.

SCULLY: (thinks what could have happened) Well, considering Mulder didn't have anything to drink, until Pendrell spiked his orange with vodka, until at least eleven-forty, it must have been... Oh yeah, I was feeling a little sick so I went out for air, and Mulder went with me. Simple as that. I'm going to be having words with Blondell in the near future.

HOLLY: But, what happened while you were out there? Hmm?

SCULLY: Holly! (she is very embarrassed, and folds her arms)

HOLLY: You can't really disprove the rumours though, can you.

SCULLY: No. (pause) But I can have a damn good try at proving them! (Holly looks shocked that Scully would be so rebellious!) There is one thing you should learn about me, Holly.

HOLLY: What's that?

SCULLY: When I say something completely out of character, never take me seriously. (She checks her watch, and realises she's actually late for the first time in her life!) Whoops! I'd better go. I'll see you. (She bids Holly goodbye, and walks the few required paces down the corridor to Mulder's office, as seen in "Pilot". She stares at the door, where her name is STILL amazingly non-present. [In Season 6, remember, even Fowley got her name on the door under Spender's. Oh, the unfairness of it all!!]

As she enters the room, a pile of papers falls off a shelf. She dodges them perfectly. Not wanting to venture any further into the office, which is beginning to look a little like Eugene Toom's lair - all papery - she remains in the doorway.) Mulder, we really need to find a bigger office space. Or maybe you could file things occasionally. (she picks up an ominous-looking bag filled with something strange, possibly some lost sunflower seeds.) And what's this? An alien embryo? It smells like... yoghurt. (In-joke to "Dreamland I". She drops the offensive article in the bin. Mulder, who had previously been standing by his desk reading a file, turns round and goes to Scully, ushering her into the office.)

MULDER: Scully! Sit down. (Just as she looks around for somewhere to sit, there is a knock at the door. Scully turns around and opens it. Outside stands a very lost-looking Holly!!)

SCULLY: Holly? What now?

HOLLY: Don't think me an idiot, but. . .where are the stairs? I've never been this way before! (She looks very embarrassed with herself.)

SCULLY: Oh. Sorry, I didn't realise. The stairs are just around that w. . . (Mulder has spotted Holly. Scully is standing in the barely open doorway, trying to stop him from seeing her. It hasn't worked! He goes to stand behind Scully and opens the door a little more. As he gets to her, she puts on a "damn-there-goes-MY-popularity!" espression, and 'winces' with mock annoyance.)

MULDER: Oh, Holly, it's you. I thought there was a salesman at the door for a moment.

HOLLY: (engage polite mode!) Good afternoon, agent Mulder. (Echoing Scully's exact words in "Little Green Men"!)

MULDER: Won't you come in? Nobody will hurt you.

SCULLY: Mulder, leave her alone; she's lost.

HOLLY: No, it's all right, agent Mulder, I was just sorting something out. Agent Scully, where did you say that was again?

SCULLY: Just to the corridor on your right, and the stairs are second left. Hope the appointment goes OK.

HOLLY: Appointment?

SCULLY: The one you're going to be late for if you don't hurry. (Scully gives her a 'get-out-of-here-while-you-can' look.)

HOLLY: Oh yes. I'd better hurry off. Thanks for the directions. I don't know how I ended up here! (She proceeds down the corridor. Scully closes the door, and goes to a vaguely chair-shaped mound of papers near the desk. After she has cleared it, and every newspaper clipping is arranged in chronological order on the desk in five seconds flat, she sits down. Mulder locks the door.)

MULDER: You REALLY know how to pick your friends, don't you?

SCULLY: I don't know what you mean. You wanted to tell me something?

MULDER: Right. I'll tell you what I found.

SCULLY: You are too enthusiastic - it's scaring me. What've you got?

MULDER: I did a little digging. I got some really useful* new information. (*This is a tribute to "The Really Useful Theatre Company", who provide numerous sponsors and, erm. . ., stuff for many of Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's productions, including "CATS". For another tribute, read "New York". That's got you guessing, hasn't it!!!)

SCULLY: You mean Byers did a little digging. Let me guess: there's been more murders, you were right, even though you don't have a theory, and I was wrong. End of story.

MULDER: Almost right. Listen: "After asking if the person was her mother, Ms. Thomas...(Scully realises something, opens her file and joins in.)

MULDER&SCULLY:...was promptly shot point-blank by...

SCULLY:...the person who appeared to be her 'mother'."

MULDER: Scully, how did you do that? I think we should start picking out curtains!!! (Scary moment - I wrote this before I'd watched "Small Potatoes"!!!! Arrgghh!!! The line in the bit with Holly, though, I wrote after the episode, which is one of the beauties of having a word-processor.)

SCULLY: Mulder, I just got these exact same notes from Danny. (They swap files, read a few lines, and hand back the files, all simultaneously.)

MULDER: They're exactly the same. But I bet yours didn't come with this! (he goes to his jacket and takes a small crumpled envelope from the pocket. He hands it to Scully. She opens the envelope, reads the contents, screws it up, and tosses it in the general direction of the bin. Or then again it might be the filing cabinet.)

MULDER: Something tells me that wasn't your phone bill.

SCULLY: It was from Frohike.

MULDER: Do tell.

SCULLY: He says he won't embarrass me anymore. As long as you keep a metre away from me when we're with him.

MULDER: Fine. Pathetic, isn't it?

SCULLY: I guess we really freaked him out, huh?

MULDER: That, and the fact that his wife found out about his little 'crush'. (This little snippet is greeting by a look of sheer disbelief.)

SCULLY: Frohike has a wife? You're kidding, right?

MULDER: Yeah, and he has two kids. You look shocked.

SCULLY: I am.

MULDER: I've got photographic evidence if you like.

SCULLY: No, I believe you.

MULDER: Oh, to hear those words more often.

SCULLY: And another thing - I seem to remember Frohike telling us his name was Melvyn, and now it's James Albert. Why?

MULDER: Maybe it's neither, maybe it's all three. I guess we'll never know!

SCULLY: (now she's getting impatient.) Hurry up, Mulder. You haven't even given me a theory yet.

MULDER: You know me better than I thought. Now, I need to find the other case that I saw this in.

SCULLY: Need any help?

MULDER: Look for X-File #X4200711211013. (Scully gives him a look that says: 'how-am-I-supposed-to-remember-that', so Mulder finds a pen.) Hand. (Scully holds out her hand. Mulder grabs it and writes the number on it.)

SCULLY: Thanks. (She turns around, and goes to a filing cabinet in the far corner. As she sifts through some papers, two photos fall out. One is of Samantha, and the other is framed. It seems Scully can't get rid of The Evil One today - it's a picture of Phoebe. Or Fowley. Whatever.)

MULDER: I got it.

SCULLY: I found two photos. I thought you might want them. (She gives him the photos.)

MULDER: Wasn't the picture of Samantha in the frame a couple of years ago?

SCULLY: I . . . don't remember. Well, it isn't now. (Mulder starts removing Phoebe's [or Fowley's] picture from the frame.) What are you doing?

MULDER: I've been meaning to replace the picture for some time. (He rips up the photo of Phoebe/Fowley [shock, horror!], and finds the infamous Polaroid camera, as seen in "Pilot".) Smile, Scully. (She reacts quickly, giving him a very brief, small smile. He takes a quick snapshot of her, and waits for it to develop. When it has, he gives it to her. The photo is actually quite good. Scully stares at in a state of disbelief. Oh, well that's nothing new. She puts the photo on the desk, or, more appropriately, the desk-shaped mound of papers, and waits to see what he'll say next.)

SCULLY: Well?

MULDER: (Sitting down, and opening the newly found file) This file I'm holding is from several years ago. It contains exactly the same type of murders.

SCULLY: A copycat?

MULDER: That's what I thought. But then I realised that these are far too detailed to be a copycat killer. The type of people being murdered, the make of weapon used, everything. If it is a copycat, there has been a great care taken in making sure they match exactly. And since this was kept well out of the public eye, it's practically impossible for anyone to have got this information.

SCULLY: But not completely impossible.

MULDER: True.

SCULLY: Can't we test for fingerprints? That's usually one method of finding out who murdered who. (Scully is in a sarcastic mood.)

MULDER: Unfortunately, the weapon from the first case - this one - was never recovered. The police were baffled, and so are the FBI.

SCULLY: So are the FBI?

MULDER: Yes. The first case was so bizarre, the FBI wouldn't handle it.

SCULLY: And then you came along.

MULDER: Yep. So, what do you think?

SCULLY: If the weapon was never recovered, then the new killer, supposedly 'Frank Skinner' could be using the same weapon. I don't think you can buy many guns that big in shops.

MULDER: So, you're saying it could be home-made.

SCULLY: Maybe. It could run in the family. If the original was destroyed, then the new killer could have just made a new one, and gone on a killing spree. Which is, let's face it, what it was!

MULDER: Where do you suggest we start with this case? I can't see anywhere we could go. There's no addresses, no phone numbers, no details of the suspect at all. It's almost as if. . .

SCULLY:. . .he never really existed. (She can't believe her own open-mindedness. Nor can Mulder. There is a pause while they think what to do next. Scully gets bored.) Well, we can't sit here all day. We've got to start somewhere. The question is: where?

MULDER: I'll leave you to work something out. And here's another small token of esteem. But not mine.

SCULLY: Frohike's?

MULDER: Yes. (He gets up, takes his coat, and leaves. Scully examines the new envelope, puzzled, takes the photo from the desk [just in case the paper mound breeds overnight and buries it!], and follows Mulder, shutting the door after herself - now that's organisation!)

Scene Two: (Two people are walking up a steep hill, complete with back-packs. When they reach the top, they stop, take a deep breath, and admire the view. The view is, surprise, surprise, a wood. A big, dark, green wood full of pine trees with cocoons and prehistoric insects and lake monsters and other weird things, including alligator corpses filled up on Pomeranian! Another person creeps into view behind them. They are unaware of his presence. The two people have "American Gothic" accents, just because I love the accent, and the programme, and also because Lucas Black aka Caleb, was in the Movie. [He played Stevie - the kid who fell down the hole!])

WALKER#1: So, now we've done this, what's our next challenge?

WALKER#2: Oh, I don't know. Everest! The Rockies?

WALKER#1: Great view isn't it?

KILLER: They do say it's the best view in all America!

WALKER#2: Michael? (She turns around. The killer makes her edge further and further back, until she topples over the edge. Her companion is watching helplessly, not able to move.)

Scene Three: (Mulder and Scully arrive at the crime scene, in their car. They go instantly to the witness to get any evidence at all!)

WALKER(#1): Are you the FBI agents they called in?

MULDER: We're investigating the death of your friend.

WALKER: I've already told the police everything I know.

SCULLY: I'm afraid you'll still have to come with us. (The three of them get into the car and Mulder drives off. Gosh, this was a short scene compared to Scene One wasn't it?)

Scene Four: (Mulder, Scully and Walker arrive at a convenient interview room at the local police station. They enter, and Mulder and Scully interrogate the witness.)

MULDER: So, you say you hadn't noticed the man before he pushed Michelle Jameson?

WALKER: No.

SCULLY: You also said that Michelle called the man Michael. Michael Jameson has been missing for ten years. Did the man look anything like this? (she shows her a picture)

WALKER: No. He was taller, and thinner, with lighter hair. If it's any help, he looked like he hadn't shaved in weeks. I can't really remember much about him. I was, y'know, paralysed. The whole thing - it was like I was watching a movie, or something.

MULDER: Would you be willing to have deep regression hypnosis?

WALKER: No. That stuff just doesn't work for me. I tried before, but I just couldn't get anywhere. That's really a problem in my line of work. Sorry if it causes any problems with the investigation.

SCULLY: Well, in that case, Miss. Greenly, you're free to go.

WALKER: Before I do, do you want my details. (she hands Scully a card) Miss. Andrea Greenly, psychic match-maker. I just thought I'd mention that you two look great together. (Mulder and Scully look at each other. Scully gives a 'yeah-right' look. They look back at Andrea.) No really. Are you two an item? (Scully remembers the conversation with Holly the other day. She blushes.) Sorry, I take it you're not. I'd better leave before I cause any more trouble! (she does)

MULDER: Are you OK, Scully?

SCULLY: Yes.

MULDER: You're blushing.

SCULLY: Am I? (in a voice that oozes naive innocence, in the fakest possible form. Try Baby Spice [Emma], for a pretty good example.)

MULDER: Embarrassed?

SCULLY: Mulder.

MULDER: Yes?

SCULLY: Shut up! Now, are you coming back to Washington, or not? (She gets up, and leaves the room. Mulder also gets up, following her, not that he had much choice in the matter, of course. It's one of those times when you don't mess with her, I think! Scully, once outside, gets into the driver's seat of the car, and starts up the engine. Mulder gets in the passenger seat, and Scully drives off at top speed, this time, forwards! [As opposed to backwards in "Syzygy"!!!]

Scene Five: (In car:)

SCULLY: This case is so weird. There's hardly any evidence to build from.

MULDER: Yes there is. I got this from the police at the scene. It's a photo. (Scully takes it from him.)

SCULLY: Of the ground?

MULDER: Of the ground where the three people were standing.

SCULLY: (giving it back) So?

MULDER: So, we can analyse it.

SCULLY: That could take weeks.

MULDER: Not if you have the right equipment! Somebody - mentioning no names - dropped off some new software, which does just this kind of analysis!

SCULLY: If we can find the computer!

Scene Six: (Mulder and Scully are huddled [?] around the computer monitor. The screen emits a bright glare, mainly because the lights are out. They are, of course, locked in again. On the screen is the picture of the dust.)

SCULLY: So, Einstein, what does it all mean.

MULDER: (indicating various points on the screen.) This is where Michelle Jameson was standing, and this is where she fell from, as indicated by the scuff marks by the edge. Andrea Greenly's footprints are probably here, since they only seem to be going up the mountain and back down again. We know she didn't come back down with her friend. The other pairs of heavy prints belong to the police, whose prints don't go up the slope because they used the cable car service, which, incidentally, had broken down again by the time they had to leave.

SCULLY: Wait a minute. There's no prints for the killer.

MULDER: Yes, that's what's interesting. I'm no maths wizard, but I know that three minus two is one. I also tried to track down Andrea Greenly for more questioning, but she can't be found anywhere.

SCULLY: So who pushed Michelle?

MULDER: I guess that's the mystery. The killer is most definitely gone without a trace.

SCULLY: Literally. (Mulder turns off the computer monitor, plunging the room into darkness, and goes to switch on the lights. Then he sits by Scully again.)

MULDER: Did you open that envelope yet?

SCULLY: No, why?

MULDER: Because Langly gave me one of these envelopes as well, also from Frohike, and it contained. . .well, your's probably has the same. Open it. (Scully finds the envelope in her bag, on the nearby desk [which could actually be a chair, or might just be a mound of paper - we'll never know!], and opens it. Inside is a cinema ticket.)

SCULLY: A cinema ticket?

MULDER: Snap.

SCULLY: Do we know why?

MULDER: Only Frohike can answer that one. And Frohike has decided he isn't talking to me for a week.

SCULLY: And I thought the note was pathetic. Well, if we don't know why, do we know which movie?

MULDER: According to Byers, who ran this through some scanning gadget, it's a random movie selection.

SCULLY: The technology that man finds never ceases to amaze me. Which film?

MULDER: They're both for "The Exorcist". Which is just as well, since it's one of your favourite movies.

SCULLY: How did you know that?

MULDER: You told me, in that case with the miracle healer. (ie "Miracle Man", way back in Season One!)

SCULLY: And you remembered? Jesus, Mulder. (She has an expression which says: "SAAAAAD!" Mulder looks hurt that she would suspect he didn't remember.) OK, but how in Hell did Frohike know?

MULDER: Luck? Well, anyway, we'd better see it, since he forked out money to buy us tickets.

SCULLY: Do we really have to? I mean, what is Frohike up to?

MULDER: Who knows? So, are you coming, you never know, you might actually enjoy it!

SCULLY: (she finally gives in, and with a sigh says:) When is it?

MULDER: In one hour. I'll pick you up. (he gets up and leaves. Scully stares at the ticket blindly for a while. This'll be fun, I think. Read back to the warning at the beginning of the chapter, and check my third 'recovering from' . . Now check your health. Now read on, if you're up to it!!!!!)

Scene Seven: (In cinema. Are you lot sure you're ready for this one? All right, but you were warned. [I can hardly bring myself to type it without laughing after seeing "Small Potatoes" for the first time!!!!! It brings 'the morning after' into a completely new light!] OK, here goes. Mulder and Scully are sitting in the back row of the cinema, with a family-sized bucket of popcorn. Is that a hint or WHAT!!! They're having a whispered conversation:)

SCULLY: What if Skinner finds out?

MULDER: We tell him it was a stakeout.

SCULLY: What if he doesn't believe us?

MULDER: We tell him the truth.

SCULLY: THE TRUTH!! (The woman in the row in front, wearing a typically large hat, is getting very annoyed. She turns around, shushes them, then turns back to the movie. Mulder and Scully shut up for a while, and 'enjoy' the rest of the movie. Scully is on Mulder's right. He stretches his arms up in the air, and rests them on the seat backs either side of him. [For those of you who haven't guessed yet, he's trying the oldest trick of all first date tricks, of attempting to put his arm around Scully. She is unaware of this.] Just as he goes to make a move, Scully leans forward to get a tissue from her bag. As she sits back again, Mulder idly lets his arm rest on her shoulders.)

SCULLY: Mulder?

MULDER: Yes?

SCULLY: What are you doing?

MULDER: Sorry. (he moves his arm back to the seat back.)

SCULLY:(Concentrating on the movie.) I really hate this part. The first time I saw it, I was totally freaked. It's just too sick. (Despite this, she carries on watching. As her 'favourite' bit builds up to scariness, everyone in the cinema prepares - except Mulder. And Scully. Sort of. Most people use a cushion or similar to hug/hide behind/eat, when they get scared by TXF or films. Not Scully, since decorum is her best point, and holding a cushion would just mess up her appearance. No, no cushions for Ms. Scully. She'd rather hug a person, and since the nearest person just happens to be her partner, well, the rest more or less speaks for itself, doesn't it? Anyway, she edges closer to him, and as the whole cinema audience screams in mock horror, and popcorn flies everywhere, Scully clings to him in terror.)

MULDER: You OK?

SCULLY: Yes. (she regains control, a little embarrassed. The woman in front is really tetchy, and shushes them AGAIN, before returning to the movie. Mulder tries again. This time, Scully all too willingly lets him hug her. [Only the Lord knows why!!!] Now, to save paper [huh?], I need a visual aid, by way of a Walt Disney film - "The Rescuers". If you've seen it, think about the first evening Bernard and Bianca [the mice!] spend on the albatross. If you haven't seen the film, go out and buy it, since it's now available in the shops. OK? Hooray, basically! They 'enjoy' the rest of the film. [In other words, Mulder achieves his aim!]

MULDER: Do you want to stay for "Gone With The Wind"?

SCULLY: (removes herself from his grip, and stands up.) I think I'm too movied-out to cope with Clark Gable and Vivien Lea this evening.

MULDER: No, Scully, you're meant to say: (a man, who has just appeared in the doorway, interupts. It's Cancer Man!!!)

CANCER MAN: Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. Isn't that the quote? (Mulder gets up. Wouldn't you just love to hear her call him "My dear"? Huh? Huh? OK then. Onwards and upwards!)

MULDER: What are you doing here?

CANCER MAN: The question should be - what are you two doing here.

MULDER&SCULLY: A date/ A stakeout. (Three guesses who said the first one! Actually it's in the same order as the names! Scully somehow makes Mulder realise his mistake, hopefully involving some form of physical pain, and he corrects it.)

MULDER: A stakeout. What she said.

CANCER MAN: Funny looking stakeout!!

MULDER: You still didn't answer my question.

CANCER MAN: I've some information involving your case. Very important information. We can't discuss it here.

MULDER: Where can we discuss it?

CANCER MAN: Follow me. (he turns his back on them. BIG MISTAKE!!!! Mulder and Scully draw their guns in near exact unison, and point them at Cancer Man's head.)

SCULLY: Why should we trust you?

CANCER MAN: (echoing Deep Throat's words in "Erlenmeyer Flask":) You've got no one else to trust.

SCULLY: Why do you want to help us?

CANCER MAN: I've turned over a new leaf. I'm going to help the FBI, especially the X-Files project. Do you two realise you're the best two agents we have? I think, as does Assistant Director Skinner, that your talents are being wasted on the X-Files project.

MULDER: Really? Or are you just afraid we'll solve your case?

SCULLY: You can't shut us down this time; we'll still work at solving this one.

CANCER MAN: Oh, I want it solved by all means. It's very tedious watching you struggle to find the evidence, when I know where it is the whole time. That's why I'm here. To help you. Mr. Mulder, Miss. Scully, I know things. I know, for example, that there'll be another murder. I can help you. If you trust me.

SCULLY: (to Mulder) I really think we should go with him. We need as much as we can get on this case.

MULDER: All right, we'll follow you. But no tricks. (Mulder and Scully reholster their guns and follow Cancer Man.)

Scene Eight: (Mulder and Scully are either side of Cancer Man, listening. They're in the woods seen earlier from the Walkers' cliff!!)

CANCER MAN: . . . .I know the killer. He's going to strike again tomorrow. In these woods, by night, you'll be able to hide anywhere, and not be caught. You'll be the only witnesses. You'll have all the evidence you'll need. You might even be able to stop him.

SCULLY: Only might?

CANCER MAN: Like a snake, he strikes fast, but very accurately. It's unlikely you'll be able to stop him. If you'll just wait here a minute, I'll find a suitable place for you to hide. (They've reached a tree [obviously!], which shelters them. Scully is cold and miserable, it's raining, it's October. She's shaking, although she's wearing her trenchcoat. Mulder gives her his as well. All three of them are getting soaked, and a storm is brewing. Cancer Man looks up at the branches of the tree, to check if it's a bad enough storm to attract any lightning with the metal rod he's planted in the highest, heaviest branch. When he's certain it's the correct tree, he carries on 'searching'. Scully is STILL shivering.)

MULDER: Will this take much longer? We can't solve a case if we've got pneumonia.

CANCER MAN: No. Ah, here's a suitable place. Just hide here while the killer's in action.

SCULLY: When?

CANCER MAN: Tomorrow, same time, same place. (he leaves, as mysteriously as he arrived, into the gathering mist.)

SCULLY: Do you believe him?

MULDER: I think he's setting us up. (he goes to the place Cancer Man suggested. As the storm decides to start, he looks up above Scully's head at the tree, just as there is a flash of lightning. Now S L O W M O T I O N. . . . . The branch is hit by the lightning. Scully hears it as it breaks, and looks up, attempting to fend it off with her arms. Mulder runs at top speed towards his partner, tripping over a huge root, crashing into her, and sending them both flying. He twists his ankle in the process. End slow-mo. They land in a crumpled, wet heap on the ground, as the branch falls to earth heavily, and bounces dully, scattering leaves and dug-up dirt in the process.)

MULDER: Are you OK?

SCULLY: (As they both attempt to get up, Mulder winces as he stands on his twisted ankle.) Mulder, you're hurt.

MULDER: I just twisted it. It's you I'm worried about.

SCULLY: I'm fine, really. (she's still shaking. She looks back at the branch, which has a metal rod firmly attached to it.) That thing could have electrocuted me. (she looks back at Mulder) Or you.

MULDER: It was a set-up. You were right.

SCULLY: I say we just forget this 'crime' which will supposedly happen, and just solve this case alone. (They support each other, limping, cold and dishevelled to the nearest sheltered clearing. Scully takes a final look at the branch that nearly killed her. She is very relieved, and hugs Mulder, for the second time in as many scenes. Mulder is quite shocked. [Well, wouldn't you be?] He hugs her back, comforting her, as Cancer Man watches from the bushes, takes a puff of his cigarette, and frowns...)

SCULLY: Hi Mulder.

MULDER: How did you know it was me?

SCULLY: Lucky guess. What do you want?

MULDER: I just got this great new theory.

SCULLY: Mulder, can't it wait till the morning - it's midnight, for crying out loud.

MULDER: Well, all right, but before you go, I have one final question.

SCULLY: All right, but hurry up. I need some sleep. (There is a pause. Scully looks slightly worried.) Mulder? Are you there? Answer me.

MULDER: I'm here. I just don't know how to put this. (If you like, Mulder can break into his infamous stutter, which always seems to appear when he's trying to be TOO nice to Scully.)

SCULLY: Mulder, just ask me.

MULDER: OK. I've put a lot of thought into this.

SCULLY: As long as it's over quickly.

MULDER: Give me a chance. (pause. He clears his throat. Scully seriously has no idea of what is to be asked. Finally, Mulder has enough courage to ask her:) You ready for my question?

SCULLY: (impatiently) Yes!

MULDER: OK. (another pause.) Please, Da. . .

SCULLY: ([GASP!])

MULDER: You OK?

SCULLY: Yeah. Look, just tell me in the morning. OK? Bye. (She puts the phone down, then looks shocked as she remembers the dream. She won't be getting any of the sleep she wanted now. Mulder has never frightened her more, not even when he tried to kill her twice. Maybe she's wrong. Maybe he'll have forgotten by the morning. As if! And, just out of interest, why is Mulder proposing over the phone? Oh, sorry, just blew the plot there! Blackout. . . )