Gay Humor

A guy walks into a bar, slams a twenty quid note down and tells
the barman to get him a vodka.  The barman serves the drink and
enquires about the problem.  
"I just found out my brother is gay" says the guy.
"Man, that's tough" says the barman.
Two weeks later the same guy goes into the bar again, 
and slams another twenty quid note.  
Then barman again enquires about the problem.
"I just found out my father is gay too!" says the guy.
"Wow, you family is fucked up" says the barman.
Two weeks later, the guy walks into the bar again.  
Before he has a chance to take out any money, 
the bartender looks at him and says:
"Hey, doesn't anyone in your fucking family 
like to sleep with women?"
"Yeh", answers the guy, "my wife"...

Q: What did the lesbian frog say to her lesbian lover???
A: Hey!! We _do_ taste like chicken!!!!!!!!

Two gay men are walking down a beach, holding hands, 
when a beautiful woman passes them.  She's 5' 10",  110 lbs., 
38-24-36, with a string bikini on and no tan lines!!!!!!!!!!!!
The first gay man turns to his friend, sighs audibly, 
and in a breathless whisper says,
"It's women like her that sometimes make me wish I was a
LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!

Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A: Lickalotopuss!

Q: What do you call the bouncer at a gay bar?
A: A flamethrower

Q: What is the definition of confusion?
A: 20 blind dykes in a fish market

There was a group of gay guys in a jacuzzi and all of a
sudden a condom floated up.  So one guy goes, "who farted?"

Q. Who would win a race - two lesbians or two gay guys?
A. The lesbians.  They went 69 the whole way while the guys were
   still at home packing their shit!!

Q: What do you call the foreskin on a homo's penis
A: Mud flaps.

Q: What is the first sign of aids?
A: A rhythmic pounding sensation in your ass!

Who's Bigger?

Two guys in a bar were arguing about the size of their genitalia.
Pretty soon, the whole male population of the bar joins in the 
debate. The bartender, seeing an imminent bar fight tries to 
stop it and yells" Shut up..
Throw them up on the bar and I'll measure them if you'll just 
SHUT UP!!!"  
so they do.
Meanwhile two poofters come waltzing in and the first says to 
the second,
"look Bruce, a buffet"