CONFUCIUS SAY...

Honeymooning campers have one intent!"
Man who sells Kotex, is crack salesman.
Blond girl have black hair by cracky.
Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Boy who plays with himself pulls boner.
Better to sleep with old hen than pullet.
Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Virgin like baloon:  one prick, all gone.
Man who plays with titty gets bust in mouth.
Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to it.
Man who have titty in mouth make clean breast.
Woman pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
Man who lays girl in field gets piece on earth.
Man who have hole in pocket feels cocky all day.
Woman who slides down bannister makes monkey shine.
Woman who puts rooster in freezer have frozen cock.
Girl who goes to bed with detective must kiss dick.
Man who screws cook in pantry often gets ass in jam.
He who fishes in other mans well often catches crabs.
Wife who puts man in dog house may find him in cat house.
Girl who douches with vinegar walk around with sour puss.
Man who marries girl with no bust have right to feel low down.
Boy who goes to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand.
Squirrel lay on rock and crack nuts; man lay on crack and rock nuts.
Girl should not marry basketball player:  he dribbles before he shoots.
Woman who springs on innerspring this spring gets offspring next spring.
Baby conceived on back seat of automobile with automatic transmission grow up
to be shiftless bastard.
man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
he who sleep with itchy bum, rise with smelly thumb.
bird in hand make it hard to blow nose.
He who runs behind the car will get exhausted.
man who lose key to girl friends apartment, no get nukey.
man who go to bed with problem on mind, wake up with solution in hand.
Man who farts in church sits in his own pew
Hooker with bike pedal ass all over town
Man who can bait hook without hooking finger, is a Master Baiter!!
He who stand on toilet, high on pot
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day"
"Man who take woman to wood on hill not on level"
"Man who go through airplane door sideways going Bankok"
"Man doing push-up in long grass not necessarily exercise freak"
"Man who go to sleep with itchy bottom wake up with smelly finger"
"Man who can't get wife off has no bitch coming"
"Man who go to bed with sex problem on mind, awaken with solution at hand."
"A satisfied virgin is a virgin no more"
"Man who play with sharp objects may not be man for long"
"Man who wait for women to call, wait long time"
"It easier to meet girl in park than park meat in girl."
"He who fuck woman on grass, get piece on earth"
"He who stand on toilet, high on pot"
"He who put dick in peanut butter, fucking nuts"
"Virginity like bubble.  One prick - all gone!"
"Foolish man give wife grand piano. Wise man give wife upright organ."
"Man with one chopstick go hungry."
"Confucius not know what to say!"
"(with cold) Man who kwitisize moduwator get node bwoke."
"All blonde not blonde by cracky"
"All men eat, but Fu Manchu."
"America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant."
"Australia Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant."
"Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard."
"Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk!"
"Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter."
"Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it."
"Bird in hand make hard to blow nose"
"Blonde who fly upside down have crack up."
"Boiling water, very hot!"
"Boy & girl camping together sure to have naughty intent."
"Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed."
"Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat."
"Boy who play with self pull boner."
"Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work."
"Crowded elevator smell different to midget."
"Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is."
"Even the greatest whale is helpless in middle of desert."
"Find old man in dark, not hard!"
"Girl at bachelor pad for snack get tidbit."
"Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy."
"Girl who douche with vinegar, walk around with sour pussy."
"Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed."
"Girl who marry detective must kiss dick."
"Girl who sit on brother-in-law's knee, make hard for sister."
"Girl who sit on jockey's knee get hot tip."
"Girl who slide down banister nude get splinter by crackey!"
"Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body."
"Girl's best asset is her `lie' ability."
"He who chase car will get exhausted."
"He who eat cookie in bed, will wake up feeling crumby."
"He who eat ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver."
"He who eat too many prunes, sit on toilet many moons."
"He who fish in other man's well often catch crabs."
"He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money."
"He who pass gas in church must sit in own pew."
"He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind."
"He who put face in punch bowl get punch in nose."
"He who refuse to listen is lying."
"He who sit on an upturned tack shall surely rise."
"He who sniff Coke, drown."
"He who stick head in open window get pane in neck."
"He who stick head in oven get baked bean."
"Hockey player on ice have big stick."
"House without toilet, uncanny."
"If chain still swinging, seat will be warm."
"If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people."
"If you turn an oriental around, he become disoriented."
"If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient."
"Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!"
"Is stuffy inside fortune cookie."
"It take a lot of balls to make a football team."
"It take many nails to build crib, one screw to fill it."
"Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous."
"Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing."
"Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!"
"Look for helping hand on end of own arm."
"Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy."
"Man kicked in testicles, left holding bag."
"Man should never straddle barbed wire fences."
"Man trapped in pantry have butt in jam."
"Man trapped in whore house get jerked around."
"Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!"
"Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy."
"Man who drive like hell bound to get there!"
"Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time."
"Man who eat photo of father,soon spitting image of father."
"Man fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self."
"Man who finger girl having period may get caught red handed."
"Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow."
"Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight."
"Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!"
"Man who jump through window screen, strain self."
"Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off."
"Man who live in glass house should dress in basement."
"Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key."
"Man who marries a girl with no bust, feel low down."
"Man who masturbate only screwing self."
"Man who polish knob play pocket pool."
"Man who pull out too fast leave rubber."
"Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end."
"Man who push piano down mine shaft get a flat miner."
"Man who put cock on stove have hot rod."
"Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tongue."
"Man who put head in dryer bound to get sock in the mouth!"
"Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache."
"Man put rooster in freezer over night have frozen cock."
"Man who read woman like book, prefer braille!"
"Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails!"
"Man who sit on hot stove will rise again."
"Man who sit on tack get point!"
"Man who sleep in cathouse by day, in doghouse by night"
"Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet."
"Man who smoke pot choke on handle."
"Man who step in it often say it."
"Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things."
"Man with athletic finger make broad jump."
"Man with forked tongue not need chop sticks."
"Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs."
"Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed."
"No difference between man and mouse. Both end up in pussy."
"Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly."
"Pentocostal who pass out get laid in church"
"People having gift for gab know not how to wrap it up."
"Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock"
"Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk."
"Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts."
"Those who make love in strawberry patch have butt in jam."
"To prevent hangover stay drunk!"
"When baby cry, give bust in face."
"When lady say maybe, she mean yes."
"When lady say no, she mean maybe."
"When lady say yes, she no lady."
"Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock."
"Woman who put detergent on top shelf, Jump for Joy."
"Woman who spend much time on bedspring have offspring."
"Woman who turn back on lover get screwed over."
"Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
"Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair by cracky."
"Woman with cold hands have fire under skirt."
"Women fake orgasm, Men fake foreplay."
"Confucius say too damn much!"
"Be careful of the toes you step on today, 
fore they may be connected to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow."
"He who stands on toilet is high in pot."