From the pages of the Los Angeles Times

"In retrospect, lighting the match was me big mistake. But I was only 
trying to retrieve the gerbil."  Eric Tomaszawski and his homosexual 
partner Andrew 'Kiki' Farnum, had been admitted for emergency treatment 
after a felching session had gone seriously wrong.

"I pushed a cardboard tube up his rectum and slipped Raggot, our gerbil, 
in," he explained. "As usual, Kiki shouted out 'Armageddon', my cue that 
he'd had enough. I tried to retrieve Raggot but he wouldn't come out 
again.  So I peered into the tube and struck a match, thinking the light 
might attract him."

At a hushed press conference, a hospital spokesman described what 
happened next.

"The match ignited a pocket of intestinal gas and a flame shot out the 
tube, igniting Mr. Tomaszawski's hair and severely burning his face. It 
also set fire to the gerbil's fur and whiskers which in turn ignited a 
larger pocket of gas further up the intestine, propelling the rodent out 
like a cannonball.

Tomaszawski suffered second degree burns and a broken nose from the 
impact of the gerbil, while Farnum suffered first and second degree burns 
to his anus and lower intestinal tract.