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Weirdcrap Stories


The Pheasant


"Ahhh!" We ran out the door and shut it behind us.

"It's in there!" I exclaimed.

"No, really?!"

Then, from behind the door, "No, it's not, it's me, Hannah. I was following you guys and suddenly Amber and I were grabbed by a couple of those weird pheasant people. But I managed to fight my way to safety. But then some more of 'em came after me, and I hid in here, for to get away."

"Okay, we'll let you out," Lindsey said. "Emily, let go of the doorknob."

"Sure, NOW you show concern for human life? Why couldn't you show some compassion for Kristin, and Martine, and Amber, and Matt?" I asked.

Lindsey just shrugged.

So I grudgingly opened the door.

I asked Lindsey if we should go and look for Amber, as she was probably captured. She pointed out that Kristin, Martine, and Matt probably were, too. I guess she was suggesting that they at least had company.

So, with the addition of Hannah, we continued down the hall. We finally encountered the pheasant in the Geometry room, attacking Mr. Holen. I was quite entertained by this, as was Lindsey, but then Mr. Holen noticed us and yelled out his plea for help.

"Lindsey," he yelled. "If you get this thing off of me, I'll give you a 'B'!"

"all right! A 'B'! I WILL get to ride in that rodeo!" And then she rushed off to tackle the pheasant. It left Mr. Holen (who immediately ran and hid behind his desk like the wuss I had always known him to be) and started attacking her. She stabbed at it and drew sawdust, but before she could try again it was gone.

"Where'd it go?" Lindsey wondered.

"Maybe it's in Mr. Hoornart's room," Hannah suggested hopefully.

"Nah, I saw it head for the office, and besides, Kristin would KILL us if we went near there without her," I said.

"Besides, he's not as hot as my Davey-boy anyway," Hannah replied, then got lost in some fantasy about her Internet boyfriend from Oregon.

And we were off. When we arrived at the lobby no one was there. We headed down the hallway past the Junior High lockers. Suddenly it flew out of Julia's old locker straight at Hannah, and Julia popped out of the gym, brandishing a hockey stick. I screamed, but my fear very shortly melted to laughter as Hannah attacked the pheasant and began wrestling with it. Naturally, she was losing pretty pathetically and it looked like it would claim another victim, it quite suddenly flew off.

It didn't take Lindsey long to spring back into action, "Grab Julia!" she directed me. "I always wanted to perform an exorcism!"

"I thought only priests were allowed to do those," I said, not wanting to tackle a possessed hockey player.

"Shut up, Lutheran," Lindsey snapped, once again entirely unlike her.

So I ended up having to wrestle the hockey stick away from Julia and pin her to the ground, as Hannah was of no help whatsoever. Then Lindsey pulled out her stupid little exorcism kit thingy and after half an hour…Julia sat up and said "Man! That pheasant's creepy!"

I was amazed. "It worked. Wow."

"Yeah, of course it did, dare you doubt the awesome power of God?" Lindsey said, going off on a little Catholicism trip.

"You didn't do anything weird to my brain, did you?" interrupted Julia. Lindsey just shut up and grinned evilly.

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Page 4

TO BE CONTINUED...

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