Weirdcrap Stories

So, with Julia, too now, we set off down the hall. We went up the stairs, rounded the corner, and ran into Mr. Schwartz. He said something in Spanish and started laughing maniacally. Then the pheasant landed on his shoulder. "You're too late," he said. "It's only you left." I started to reply. "And yes, Emily, resistance IS futile." Then he walked off, muttering to himself in Spanish. "This sucks! I wish I was still back in Filer or in California with all my friends!" exclaimed Hannah. "We never got chased by satanic pheasants there. And there were all these hot guys, I could go see my Davey boy, and..." "Shut up! We know all about Filer and how great your life was. And you're not the only one who wishes you were still back there!" Julia shouted, either the pressure or Hannah's incessant whining was finally getting to her. Hannah started crying. Nobody even moved to comfort her. Lindsey tried to give us a pep talk. "Come on guys! Don't give up! It'll be fun!" I interrupted. "Excuse me, Lindsey, how could chasing a demonic bird possibly be FUN!?" Suddenly, a new voice spoke up. "Hey, Lindsey! Way to look for me!" "Huh? Kristin?" "Yeah, I've been hiding in the typing room for an hour, waiting for you to come back!" "Oops. I'm sorry. I meant to look for you, but Emily wouldn't let me," Lindsey accused, trying to defend herself. "Uhhuh. Let's go kill that pheasant!" Kristin answered, not wanting to get in an argument with Lindsey. "How?" I asked. "You mean YOU don't know?" she replied. "No, I don't. I don't know everything," I answered. "Still more than all of you, though," I added under my breath. "Oh, by the way, have you seen Martine?" Lindsey asked. "Last I saw she was headed off to 'borrow' Mr. Hintz's laptop and look up stuff on the pheasant. But that was right after Lindsey lost us all." "Hey, I said I was sorry! And we're not waiting around for Martine, I wanna kill that pheasant before Kristin kills me!" And we walked down the hall, in the dark, towards 300 people out to get us. "I just realized that Mr. Schwartz was right. This IS utterly hopeless," I said, for a moment realizing the futility of our mission. "Shut up!" Lindsey yelled at me. "Yeah, you should be used to everyone hating you by now," added Hannah the eternal comforter. "We're gonna go in there now," Lindsey said, taking a step toward the door. As she peeked inside she said, "This reminds me of when I was getting chased by the lawn gnomes."

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