Before I begin, let us get some terminology straight: SOCIALISM IS NOT COMMUNISM. Socialism, which seemingly everyone mistakes with communism, is an economic system where all citizens have an equal share in the production and distribution centers of the economy, i.e. everyone owns everything in part. Communism, which everyone knows and logically hates, is where a central controlling power (government) owns all centers of production and distribution, i.e. the government owns everything. The second point of contention is ownership: Theoritically communal ownership is limited to business--factories and shops--and not personal possessions. Your car is still yours, but the profits and costs of your business belongs to everyone collectively (or to the government, as the case may be). However, seeing how communistic societies are commonly controlled by autocratic oligarchies, government control expands to personal possessions against the will of the citizens. Thirdly, socialism and communism are not the opposites of democracy--socialism and communism are economic systems, and democracy is a political system. Socialism and communism are actually the opposites of capitalism.
To reiterate, SOCIALISM IS NOT COMMUNISM. Got it? Good. Let us proceed to the more offensive part.
Socialism is good, in theory. Very good. It is the ultimate economic system, and here is why: It is completely equal. Everyone, having an equal share in the economy, basically has the same amount of money. Everyone has a vested interest to help each other, because the other guy's profits are yours too. As production is controlled by, essentially, the workers, higher level management will become less autocratic in its downsizing and restructuring just to keep margins nice and fat. All jobs that assist society, from janitor to CEO, become equal. The CEO's would have heart attacks if their janitors walked out on them, and the janitors would be disorganized and chaotic without CEOs to direct them. Sounds nice, eh? Maybe not to you, but I find it pleasant (and no, I'm not a janitor). Now to the downsides: Without oodles of cash on the line, why work at all? Everyone will still have to have jobs to survive. Money will not disappear, it just won't accumulate in some people's pockets more than others. Sure, promotions may not seem as interesting now that going from desk jockey to middle management no longer entails trucks of green, but the added bonuses such as increased travel allowances and other perks should make up for the added responsibilities. Of course, in a socialistic economy, everyone would work as hard as they could (and prod others to do the same) because as each person makes their business more profitable, the economy grows and paychecks grow in proportion to it. A minimal government would act as the United States government did initially as an impartial broker, figuring what the economy is worth and allocating the money to everyone according to their share. Now to the kicker that makes this wonderous pipe dream excactly that:
People are bad. They aren't as concerned with others than themselves. They usually don't wish ill on each other, they just want to be ahead of the other guy. Drive better cars. Have more beautiful/handsome mates. Have more dough. Have a nicer house, faster conmputer, bigger lawn, bigger lawn mower, fancier pet, et cetera. Socialism is not for these people, as it forces everyone into the same middle-class tax bracket even though one guy is a stockbroker and the other is a Whopper-flopper at Burger Tyrant. Secondly, these bad people are in government, which may cause our minimal impartial government to skim off the top of the gross national product more than it deserves to. Keep these problems in mind, for I will address them later. Now we go on to our (cough) buddy (cough) communism.
We have Marx, a down-and-out loser in German capitalist society who lives with his pal Frederick Engels. He's a smart cookie, no doubt, because he comes up with a long list of things that make capitalism unfair. The objectives of labor and management are at odds over profits. Labor, the majority (remember that democracy is beginning to get in vogue in Europe at this time), wants higher wages, which cuts into profits. Management, the minority, wants higer profits, which cuts into wages (excluding management's of course)! Marx also came up with the idea of historic oppression: Management oppresses labor in the name of profits to the level of subsistence--labor makes just enough money to survive, but no more. In lassez-faire economies such as America's in the mid- to late-1800s, this was often the case. If anyone doubts it, look at the mining company towns and railroad labor practices of the time. Mr. Marx looks at this and determines that labor can't take this crap forever. Eventually they will revolt and create a new government and economy that is fair to the laborer. To Marx, this perfect economy would be communism. This is where Marx and I part. In communism, labor works in the factories and mines and shops, and the government gets the profits. The government, which already owns the profits , is to dole out the profits equally to everyone. Right. Seeing Russia's depressed economy even after a decade without communism, it doesn't look like the government did its part. It didn't help that most communistic economies have single-party systems. The Party gets the money and labor gets shafted. Again.
Now, how do we make the pipe dream of socialism a reality? Well, the government can't have only one party. Europe seems to be relatively happy with their socialistic economies and coalition governments. Multiple parties will be able, through their separate and different ambitions, to check and balance each other for control of the government. Secondly, the government won't be very minimal. There should be lots of oversight committees manned by citizens selected by random and rotated every year. This will minimize corruption but, unfortunately, enlarge the government. This bloated, self-checking monstrosity is the exact government I have selected for my utopian ideal, the Weirdo Zone.
Welcome to the future.