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| "The Messenger" |
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Methos: *Hey, grab a beer; there's a cold one in the fridge.* (mess1.aif - 92K)
Duncan: Yeah, I know, it's my fridge. I thought you were out wandering the world.
Methos: Tibet...Yak butter plays hell with the digestion. Besides, I've had all the enlightenment I could use.
Duncan: Maybe you should've kept it to yourself. |
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Methos: Sorry, I must have dosed off. What is it we're talking about?
Duncan: All that crock you're feeding Richie.
Methos: Right, and what crock would that be exactly.
Duncan: Oh, you know, stop fighting, lay down your sword, give peace a chance. Ring a bell?
Methos: Wow, so he's here, is he?
Duncan: Who's here?
Methos: The other Methos.
Duncan: The what?
Methos: I've never actually met the guy. But I've heard rumors. He wanders around the place spreading his message to other immortals.
Duncan: Using your name?
Methos: Well, it's not like it's got a patent or anything.
Duncan: Sounds like the guy's starting a franchise or something. What about this line about peace and love? What's that all about?
Methos: Well, maybe it's just exactly what he says it is.
Duncan: Turning the other cheek only gets you slapped harder.
Methos: But it's got such a nice ring to it. No more fighting, no more killing, peace and harmony, don't tell me you never fantasized about that? Some young sucker's always gonna fall for it.
Duncan: Richie has.
Methos: Voila.
Duncan: He thinks the guy's some kind of prophet.
Methos: Well, who's to say he isn't?
Duncan: You are. This guy's a fraud.
Methos: Look, there are enough people out there who want my head for who I am. Now, I say, if he wants to play Methos let him.
Duncan: Even if it gets him killed?
Methos: Yeah. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Look at these boots. What happened to craftsmanship? I only put a thousand miles in them.
Duncan: You're gonna convince Richie that this guy is a fake.
Methos: What makes you think he will believe me?
Duncan: Because, you are going to be very sincere.
Methos: I left Katmandu for this. |
| * * * |
Richie: I mean, this has got to be some kind of joke. Joe, help me out here. I mean, five thousand years of wisdom, him?
Joe: Well, I don't know about wisdom, but five thousand, that's about right.
Duncan: I know it's a little hard to believe, but what you see is what you get. This is the real Methos.
Richie: You guys don't understand what I'm saying. It's not the name that I care about. I mean, this Methos, that Methos. It's the message I believe in.
Duncan: Richie, the message is wrong, and it's gonna get you killed. You just met this guy. What he's saying goes totally against everything that we know. Why would you want to believe him?
Richie: Because he offered me his life. Now why would he do that?
Duncan: Because he's afraid to fight you.
Methos: Or because he knew you wouldn't take it.
Richie: Oh, yeah, right.
Methos: There's one born every minute.
Richie: Okay, fine. Whatever. I mean, I am talking about peace here, fellas. I'm talking about a chance to end the killing forever. You know something, of all people, I thought you would understand. (Richie leaves.)
Joe: He's young, all right? Young people, they make mistakes.
Methos: Yeah, look at disco.
Duncan: I've gotta get going. I've got someone to find. (Duncan leaves.)
Joe: I'm gonna go check on this other Methos. Maybe I'll turn something up. (Joe leaves.)
Methos: Maybe I'll go and buy some socks. |
| * * * |
Methos: Methos, I presume.
Fake Methos: So they tell me.
Methos: You know, it's, um, interesting. I was always told that you were a myth. And yet you look very, very real. Tell me, is it true that you were a friend of Socrates?
Fake Methos: Oh, I've had many friends.
Methos: And, um, I've always wondered, Cleopatra, what was she really like?
Fake Methos: She was a woman. She loved. She lived. She died.
Methos: Yeah, speaking of death, you seem very vulnerable.
Fake Methos: We're all vulnerable.
Methos: Yes, but you a little more than me, I think. I mean, a lot of people might want the head of a five thousand-year-old man.
Fake Methos: A lot of people might want to listen to a five thousand-year-old man.
Methos: I suppose that's true. Fifty centuries, after all, you must have learned a lot. Knowledge, wisdom, that sort of thing?
Fake Methos: Truth is, my beliefs are very simple.
Methos: Yes, I heard about your beliefs. Do you really think there's no such thing as evil?
Fake Methos: Only fear.
Methos: So, what? Genghis Khan and Hitler were just children playing up?
Fake Methos: They were men, driven by fear to commit evil acts.
Methos: And if their mother had loved them truly, then it would have been a different world.
Fake Methos: Could you say it wouldn't?
Methos: What about the game? Do you really think we can end the game?
Fake Methos: I think it's worth trying.
Methos: Even if it costs you your head?
Fake Methos: Can anyone live for five thousand years and say they did nothing, risked nothing, merely stayed alive? It'd be pointless.
Methos: Some might think that that experience is worth saving.
Fake Methos: I'm not one of them, but we can talk about it.
Methos: No, I've got a prior engagement, I'm afraid.
Fake Methos: I, uh, didn't catch your name.
Methos: No, that's right, you didn't. |
| * * * |
Methos: A little pathos, a little pop psychology. The guy is either dilutional or he is a fraud, and you are buying it.
Duncan: I'm not buying anything.
Methos: No? One speech from the wise one and you forgive Culbraith. I mean, what's next? Friendship rings? The love boat?
Duncan: I haven't forgiven him; he just made me think.
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Methos: *Oooooh!* (mess2.aif - 39K) I'm just saying, don't think too much because we can't afford another one on the list.
Duncan: What list?
Methos: Ask Joe.
Joe: I did some checking on this Methos flake, the other one. Anyway, uh, there's a trail of dead immortals behind him. |
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Duncan: He's killing them off.
Joe: No, he's just suckering them in, and then the Immortal lays down his sword and the next Immortal doesn't.
Methos: Meanwhile, our gentle friend moves on, spreading the word.
Duncan: Well, I'm not a convert. I don't intend to be.
Joe: Well, great. What about Richie? |
| * * * |
Methos: So, Richie's his newest disciple. Isn't that cute.
Joe: Oh, and I suppose you would know just what to do.
Methos: Oh, yeah. Standard response to unforeseen dilemma perfected over many centuries.
Duncan: What?
Methos: Nothing.
Joe: You know, I think I like the other Methos better.
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Methos: You asked. *I think maybe I'll just go look at the graffiti in the men's room.* (mess3.aif - 151K)
Joe: Is it just me or is this guy really being a jerk? (Methos leaves.)
Duncan: It has nothing to do with us. It's Richie's decision; we have to respect it.
Joe: What? Even if it kills him. |
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Duncan: I taught him how to survive. What he does with that is up to him.
Joe: Some guy comes along, says, "Everything's just rosey." No more death, no more fear. Hell, Richie's gonna buy into that. But it's a mistake that's gonna cost him.
Duncan: Well, it's his to make. It's about integrity. (Methos returns.)
Methos: Okay, there's this Spanish guy: Alejandro Diego Spinofa. One day he gets called in by the inquisition for questioning, red hot pincers, tongs, usual drill. Now, all he has to do is say no, 'kay, very simple word. They take his home, his money, his lands, but he will not give in.
Joe: And so what happened.
Methos: He died screaming in agony. But he kept his integrity.
Duncan: Don't save my seat. Let yourselves out. (Duncan leaves.)
Joe: You are one calculating son of a bitch. |
| * * * |
Duncan: Do you really think peace between us was possible.
Richie: I'd like to think so.
Duncan: Would have been nice.
Richie: You know, I don't even know what his real name was. I mean, I know he wasn't the real Methos. Maybe he wasn't right either, but he was a good man.
Methos: Listen, I'm sorry I disappointed you, kid.
Richie: That's okay.
Methos: Later.
Richie: Old timer, you got any words of wisdom for me?
Methos: Nope. |
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