When the author's note has this:
Oh! And Hot Rod and Ultra Magnus as a couple in this.
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You might want to keep the spork in reach.
Anywho, one fine day at Autobot HQ, the newly-reunited couple Optimus Prime and Tracks (yeah, try to wrap your head around that pairing) are starting another fine and dandy morning when all of a sudden...Tracks passes out!
And the reason for this...
"Tracks� There's something we have to tell you�" Optimus began. All kinds of things were going through Tracks' head; cascade failure, circuitry overload, etc� He looked up at Prime and choked out, "What?"
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*drumroll*
"You're pregnant."
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All together now: WHATTHEFUCKISTHISSHIT???!!!
Bad enough that Star Ruby and the like had to torture us with preggazoids, now it finds its way to the mechs! Party time! Or should that be barfy time...?
It gets better, or worse as to however one sees the situation.
Pulling away, Tracks looked at him in confusion. Then he scanned the others' faces and could see that they weren't in a joking mood. He shut off his optics and pondered this. It made sense. Lately he was either extremely tired or over-energized that Prime couldn't keep up with him. And he was finding it hard to get aroused early in the day (which was Prime's favorite time to make love). Bringing his optics back on, he nodded. "Okay� how?"
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Considering this is about giant robots TC actually would not mind it if this question wasn't answered.
"If you have to ask," Prime said sounding offended.
"I know THAT! But how am I, a robot, capable of baring children?"
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Yes, please, enlighten us! How IS a robot capable of having kids? However the bitch author doesn't give an explanation.
The next few paragraphs are almost like reading a high-school article about pregnancy, except it has large mechanical robots.
"Interesting� so Optimus's lover is with child�" Galvatron chuckled as he digested this information. He had been shocked to learn of Prime's new relationship but now he could use this against him. "I want that boy� Bring him to me- unharmed and untouched." Tracks would be useless if another tainted him.
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WAIT! CONTINUITY ALERT! *TWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!* Why is Tracks involved in a fic that shows to be taking place past Season 3...oh wait, this is about pregnant male robots. Never mind.
Tracks walked along by himself trying to get himself under control. This baby was really messing him up. He sighed and leaned back. The baby was restless. "Calm down� I'm not mad at you� It's not your fault." While at first, he'd been freaked out at the thought of having a baby; he now yearned to hold his child in his arms. 'Only six months left�' He pushed away from the wall and turned to go back.
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The baby is messing up dad, the fic is messing up TC so terribly she can't think of any snappy comebacks for this shit. Excuse her while she hides.
As much as TC loves a good joke, one would be tempted to believe that this is one of her fics in a parody. Uh, no. Nooooooononnononononono...
Just when you think the fic could not possibly get any worse...
"You're what?!"
Hot Rod ducked behind the huge form of his lover and cringed.
"Yes," Ultra Magnus said calmly, beaming. They had just come out of the med bay. "Hot Rod's pregnant," he said quite pleased.
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WHAT?? Another one? What the FUCK is going on here? In a more rational note, one would be tempted to think it should have been Magnus. Oh shit...*blows brains out*
"Quiet!"
The voice caught their attention.
"Yes, Sludge."
The Dinobot frowned in confusion then said, "Where do babies come from?"
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Once again the idiot author asks the question we all have been screaming but doesn't answer.
Since we have covered the first chapter, you have a choice, either:
Proceed to the Second Level of Hell
or
Run outta here screaming like a bitch
The choice is yours.