The opening paragraphs already offer wonderful promise:
Tracks and Hot Rod glowered at the medic as they tried to get comfortable. It was hard to believe that Tracks was six months pregnant and Hot Rod three. First Aid had already determined that, unlike humans, the likelihood of there being female babies was very slim. So all four expectant parents were looking forward to being fathers of two little Mechs.
- - -
Whoa.
Whoa.
Whoa.
WhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoawhoaWHOA!
Why can't they have girls? Most importantly, WHY ARE THEY PREGNANT?
You realise TC's gone over the deep end when she is questioning the theories of an already hideously ridiculous fanfic.
And the crap just keeps coming...
The medic chuckled as he ran the scanner over the distended robot. He studied the results for a moment and then ran the scan a second time, followed by a third. Finally, he ran a scan on the scanner to be certain it was working.
"Um� is everything ok?" Tracks was beginning to get nervous. He hadn't been sleeping as much sleep as usual and recharge was getting to be impossible. He hoped that everything was fine.
"Yes, everything's just fine�" First Aid spoke slowly. "But I think I'll call Optimus."
- - -
No, please, don't say anything. We don't wanna know what the fuck it is, please oh please oh PLEASE OH PLEASE....
TWINS?!"
- - -
Shit...there was always the hope.
The young Autobot nearly fell off the table in shock. He pushed himself up and crept quietly towards the door to the office.
"Yes, you're having twins. There are three Sparks inside of you; one is fully mature and easily recognizable as yours while the other two are incomplete."
"We're having twins�" Optimus covered his face and groaned softly.
"I already picked out a name�" Tracks sighed.
- - -
More thinning of the plot happens when Air Raid is found in a lover's embrace with...
brace yourself...
Skywarp. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah. Once again, continuity problems arise.
Blah blah big fight ZOMGTHESHITHITSTHEROOF!
TC offers the following, just for the sheer WTF? awfulness of it.
As Rodimus, he had learned of the rendezvous between the Autobot and Decepticon. He had kept it a secret, as he knew what it was like to love someone deeply. He felt the baby kicked and rubbed at his belly, which was just barely starting to swell.
- - -
Unfortunately Roddy gets caught in the crossfire and:
"Magnus� the baby! I can't feel him anymore!" Hot Rod's panicked voice caught his attention.
"Baby?!" Rodimus was pregnant? Impossible! Galvatron stared at him in shock. He then noticed the slight bulge and felt as if his fuel pump had stopped. "Rodimus�".
- - -
TC's head is now permanently caved in due to her beating it against the desk repeatedly.
After the BIG FIGHT, Warp and Thunder are now residing with the Autobots.
"Air Raid?" Skywarp, with no weapons, transforming cog or teleportation device, stepped up to him."
"I'm alone�" Air raid started to cry as he felt those strong arms encircle him.
"No you're not. I'm here," Skywarp whispered.
- - -
Please point out all of what is wrong with this dialogue...oh, fuck it.
As if the sap-happy crappy wasn't enough...
Come on, take a guess...
You know you wanna...
Skywarp's face lit up like a light. "Baby?" He couldn't believe this. "Air Raid's pregnant?"
- - -
SCORE, MOTHERFUCKER!
Also, gotta love the redundancy.
For a barftacular wrap-up of this chapter the author put this at the end:
Also, a poll:
I want Thundercracker to be with someone, but can't decide who. So everyone vote!
1. Blurr I'm torn between these two so whichever one gets the most votes will be Thundy's love.
2. First Aid
- - -
She didn't.
OH. FUCK. NO. SHE. DIDNT.
Excuse TC as she goes on a tirade.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH YOU HAD TO WRITE THE SUCKIEST TF FIC IN HISTORY, YOU HAD TO BRING THUNDER INTO YOUR CIRCLE OF SAP-CRAP.
AND BLURR? BLURR? DID YOU LOSE YOUR LAST TWO BRAINCELLS WRITING THIS CHAPTER? WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ok, TC's better. Nothing like bringing her main machine into a bad fic to awaken deep, dark rage.