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...HamsterTimes!
After venturing into a different pastures [mind your step.. oh dear... still... better than a pat on the head] we remembered we "really should publish an new edition of the HT"... so hear yee, hear yee. Here it be, be what you see.
A lot of things have happened since the last edition of the Hamster Times, we'd like to refer to this as "life". Life, like excrement, happens - and there's not much you can really do about it.
N.Massey, struggling to find a good editorial introduction, November 2004
"IT CAME FROM THE HAMSTER TIMES".... is still coming... soon... it may even arrive this decade :-)
Goodness me! How time passes, and still ICFTHT hasn't surfaced. Is it going to be our Red October? Who knows, expect it when it arrives. I tell you, it'll be looking good when it comes :-)
Dear sir,
we are writing to inform you that your twice yearly dental appointment is now due. Please get in touch and let us know if this is inconvienient.
Your dental practice
My word! Is it that time already? Just a little off the top please - I don't want to look like some hippy!
If you would like to put pen to paper, cassette to camcorder or yell loudly then please do. We love to hear from anyone with anything mildly interesting to say. Please direct any communication to... HamsterTimes at yahoo dot co dot uk and make sure you give us a subject of "Lettuce to the Editor".
Many thanks, and have several nice days.
Unusual news from the Wolong Nature Reserve in the Sichuan Province of southwest China that they will benefit from a State of the art wireless network.
Already giant pandas benefit from delicious meals provided by knorr foods, but now they will move into the 21st century with have hot and cold running 802.11b wireless internet access.
The local penguins are said to be "up in wings" about the whole thing. We spoke to an emperor penguin, who insisted we called him Phil, about the whole uproar.
"Well, you see, we're pretty miffed about the whole thing." Phil told us, emotion obviously swelling in his voice, "First it was the gorrillas with their wide-screen televisions and DvD players, then it was the gazelle with their jet-skis. Now it's this. But what really ticks us off, is the fact that all we get is a white plastic pond and all the fish we can eat!"
Speaking to the keepers we found that there is a gradual system of improvements - for all animals - as and when budgets are allocated. The next amount to be allocated is an amount to refurbish the lions' living quarters, including wall-to-wall carpet, a comfy sofa, and an en-suite spa room.
We also found the Pandas preferred the Blackberry handheld device and a video-phone to other devices.
This edition of the HamsterTimes is copyright etc 2004 N.Massey and is drawn from the HamsterTimes created by N.Massey and B.Godfrey way back when the world was young. There is a 59.256% chance that anything humourus in these pages is purely incidental. Don't worry. It is okay to laugh. Please do not take the gate [someone took the fence the other week] or the shrubbery.
The small print
...or should that be the "size impared textual content"? Who knows in these crazy times. All I know is I like my Marathon bar, my Opal fruits (they're made to make your mouth water, don't-cha-know?) and my imaginary friend I like to call "Philipe". Anyway, please do not take offence at our words - if we had lots of money we would have our own domain and everything - probably lots of servers and great big servers with failover and the like rather than these free pages on angelfire. You sue us, we don't got a lot to give you. I have a used hankie, that you're welcome to. And half a mars bar, for that matter.
What follows is a partly political broadcast on behalf of the repetitive party.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Bush goes in, Bush goes out, in, out, in, out, shake the votes about. Do the jiggery-pokery and throw Kerry out, that's what it's all about. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. Whooa, Bush is in again. It is safe to be scared now, rah, rah rah.
Sorry. My head hurts today, I couldn't think of anything else to say.