You enter a large, stone weyr, the sides tinted a greenish color, the ground covered in dirt,
yet it feels comfortable against your weary feet. You trudge through the weyr, and turn as you
notice the sound of singing. It comes from a room to your right. Curious, you enter. Inside
is a very energetic girl, about thirteen Turns old, with fire-red hair and blue eyes, and a nose
too large for her face, kicking a goal ball against the wall and singing loudly in a
not-too-sweet contralto voice. She gives it another energetic kick and it bounces hard against
the wall, flying across to the other side of the room and smashing three plates. "Whoops!" she
cries. Innocently, she turns around and notices you. "Hello!" she calls in a bouncy voice.
"I'm Bellia. Who're you?" You answer her and she grins. "I'm a candidate for the golden egg,
or a green, or whatever! I hope I get a fightin' dragon. Much better than those mating
flights." She makes a face. "Hear browns usually don't mate... Well, anyway, you'd better
scat... I've got some, well, work ta do. Bye!" You leave and you hear her bouncing the goal
ball again.
What Bellia did wrong:
No images. I like images. ^^
Rather short. If it had been longer, it would've been better.
What Bellia did right:
She described the weyr
She described her character
She gave a clue on her persona's personality
She hinted at what sort of dragon she wanted (not out-right saying she WAS going to get it like
Pippi)
It had music and colors--brownie points for finding music appropriate to your page (THAT MEANS
DON'T STICK A MIDI ON RANDOMLY! I choose the Eva theme for a reason, and Kailin's weyr music is
Rena's Theme for a reason...) Note that my computer is currently rebelling against MIDIs.
She wasn't the all-mighty knower of all who entered her weyr (in other words, it took awhile for
her to notice her)
She's got normal hair/eyes (albino is okay, just try not to make too many ^_^)
She's not perfect... and has very obvious flaws (big nose, non-perfect voice and clumsiness)
She knew what a weyr is and what a Weyr is.
She had enough sense to realize that everyone who visits her page IS ON PERN.
A better weyr? I think so. A green, or maybe a gold if the other females were like Pippi over here. Home
