Before You Kill Yourself...Read these brutal facts about suicide...
By: Renie T. Lugero

You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out. Fine - but before you kill yourself, there are some things you should know. I am a psychiatric nurse, and I see the results of suicide - when it works, and more often, when it doesn't. Consider, before you act, these facts:

Suicide is usually not successful. You think you know a way to guarantee it? Ask the 25-year old who tried to electrocute himself. He lives. But both his arms are gone. What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent, with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leaped from a building. Now he is brain damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. But worst of all, he knows he used to be normal.

Even less violent methods can leave you crippled. What about pills? Ask the 12-year old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver-damage? It takes a while. You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

No method is foolproof. What about a gun? Ask the 24-year old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm, and no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.

Suicide is not glamorous. You may picture a movie star in a slinky negligee drifting off to eternal sleep from an overdose of pills. But your picture omits a likely sickening reality: as she dies, her sphincter muscles relax, and that beautiful gown is soiled with her excrement.

Who will clean your blood off the carpet, or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning crews may refuse that job - but someone has to do it. Who will have to cut you down from where you hung yourself, or you've drowned? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?

The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is no help. Those who loved you will never completely recover. They'll feel regret, and an unending pain. And rage, because at that moment, you cared only about yourself.

Suicide is contagious. Look around at your family: sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, husband, wife. Look closely at the four-year old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight, and he may do it in ten years. It's a fact that suicide often follows suicide in families, and kids are especially vulnerable.

You do have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline, a friend, your minister, or priest. They will tell you that there is hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phonecall this weekend. Or when you meet someone shopping. You don't know - noone does. But what you are seeking could just be a minute, a day or a month away. You say you don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? Well, then, I may see you in the psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

I, myself, have attempted suicide, and you know what...it's not worth it. I have spent days and weeks in the hospital's psychiatric ward. The good thing is, I got to work through it, but not alone. I had God with me, and I had friends with me. Friends that care and love me and don't want to see me kill myself. God isn't through with me yet, and you know, I realized that. It was almost too late, I overdosed on a very lethal medication, and laid on my deathbed for an hour and a half. I was cold, scared and sick. I got up and went to my father and told him. Getting your stomach pumped is not a good thing, because it hurts and you will always remember that tube going down your throat or your nose...it hurts...and your throat may never recover from that. Call someone...today...pick up a phone and dial the hotline. Please read My Life, if you have read this.