consistently arbitrary since 2001

leaving on a jet plane
I apologize for the lack of updates. My life has been uninteresting lately. Most recently, I've worked a lot while bemoaning a raging cold.

Oh, and I turned 23, I guess. Sigh. One step closer to 30.

Anyway, I just thought I'd put something new to look at here. I'm off to Michigan at an insane hour tomorrow morning, where I'll get to spend some much-needed catch-up time with my best friend, lounging, gossiping, and admiring the baby.

Will be back Monday with stories. Ideally not tales of horror and despair about the airport.

Have a good weekend, all.

Friday, January 17

some days it's heaven, some days it's hell
OK. Fuck that. It's still scary. Being single is so. much. easier.

I think I'm a freak of nature.

Aside from Boy-related things, I've done virtually nothing of interest lately. I got the oil in my car changed for the first time. I think the people at Jiffy Lube probably thought I was totally anal or something, since it had 3002 miles on it (I was supposed to get the first oil change around 3000). But you know, it was time, and I had the time. Am now watching 10 Things I Hate About You for the second time tonight, because it's on.

And now I'm going to bed, because my excruciatingly unexciting life has made me very tired.

P.S. No using the comments for nagging me about updates (lauren!). If I get to 30 days sans update, THEN you can nag, eh? Besides, d'you really want to start that when I can play the same game? I didn't think so. Will blog when I have something... anything... to say.

Saturday, January 11

i've been searching a long time for someone exactly like you
Much, much sooner than I expected, I found out pretty much everything I wanted to know. Which is good, because I started to feel myself getting emotionally committed. And I really can't tell you how much I didn't want to be committed if this thing wasn't going to pan out. Because I've spent the last couple years trying to get out of that rut. But what I know now means that I don't have to worry about it anymore.

I did, in fact, go on a date. The boy, with a great deal of embarrassment (I'm sorry to gush, but it was really cute), and some helpful prodding from me, spilled that he is, in fact, interested. And I shared that I am, too. In fact, the part of the conversation I remember went something like this:

me: Are you opposed to dating a co-worker?
him: No.
me: Are you opposed to dating me?
him: No
me: Good, because I'm not opposed to dating you, either.

Not eloquent, but it got the point across. And yes, we are pathetic excuses for journalists. With this and other, slightly more elegant prose, we managed to establish that we're on the same page.

And I am GIDDY. And it's GREAT. He's incredibly nice, we like the same things, and we both have the all-important sarcastic and cynical sense of humor. He's never been a jerk. And I like him.

For the first time ever, I can be giddy knowing someone else feels the same way. And it's the best. feeling. EVER.

So I guess I'm going to have to swallow all my single-person fears.

Suddenly, that doesn't seem so hard.

Thursday, January 9

the best is yet to come
To continue from the last entry, the real question seems to be whether the person in question is interested in me, not whether I was on a date. According to my poll of approximately seven people, not counting myself, the consensus is that the answer is yes, he is interested. To this I say: We'll see. The possibility is exciting. But I have every reason to play the wait-and-see game and nothing to lose by doing so.

Particularly because while I find this all very exciting, it also freaks me out. First of all, because I've been single my entire life. And second of all, because I've been living alone for the last six months, abandoning the last remnants of my hopeless crush on a person who shall remain nameless, and learning to be happy about being single again. Thus, I'm extremely set in my single ways. And while this will not stop me from getting involved if the opportunity arises, it makes the whole situation scary, too. Emotional commitment, life changes, etc. Ideally, of course, the outcome is very much worth that.

And, as Erin said, it's a win-win situation, no matter what the outcome, since I have no real emotional investment at this point. If he's just really nice, then I'll have a male friend who manages to buck the assholic trend, and if he's more than that, I'll have a boyfriend.

The observant among you will notice that, by popular request, I have added comment capabilities to my blog. They appear to work, although I'm still tweaking. The code is smarter than I am, and the comment box itself looks different for me than for the general public, since I can administrate what's put there. Warning, though: This IS my blog, and it IS for me, and if I feel begin to feel weird about having comments, which I shouldn't, since I don't think anyone I don't know actually reads this, I'll take them off again.

On that note, feel free to comment. Particularly if you are not someone I know, since I'm curious about whether you exist.

Play nice.

Monday, January 6

i don't know how i feel, but i wonder if you feel like me
I have the sneaking suspicion I may have gone on a date tonight without even knowing it. If a boy unexpectedly pays for your pizza and movie, and then calls you when he gets home to tell you he had a good time and would like to do it again sometime, is that a sign that he's interested? Or is he just nice? Both are possibilities. I am not averse to this having been a date. Not at all, in fact. I was just surprised (albeit pleasantly, especially as I am broke) by the gestures. And I don't want to read something into it that wasn't there. I suppose time will tell.

Thoughts on this issue are willingly accepted.

Here's a tidbit from New Year's:

Watch out, kids. I got a camera for Christmas.

Saturday, January 4

i got a question mark
The other day at work (January 2, to be precise), the phone rang. When I picked it up, this oldish-sounding guy said, "Hey, did you guys know that it's 1/2/3?"

In fairness, this would not have occurred to me had not my co-worker Emily mentioned it while she was putting the date on a page.

But Emily did, so I, amused, said, "Yes, we did."

"Oh good," he said. "I was afraid I was the only one."

Why anyone would call a newspaper with this information is beyond me. Evidently, he had an epiphany and had to share. It's like the time someone from one of the towns a few miles up the road called one evening to ask if it was dark here, too. Since it was 9 p.m. and dark pretty much everywhere, I can only assume she thought there was some sort of apocalypse in progress.

People here are strange.

Wednesday, January 1

all is quiet on new year's day
Am pleased to report that last night was fun and crazy. Crazy in the style of me and my friends, that is, which seemed to be substantially less insane than the craziness of others we encountered.

Am less pleased to report that I have to go to work in 45 minutes and am in desperate need of caffeine. And food might be a desirable idea, as well. I thank every star in the heavens above that I am not enough of a drinker to be hung over, and that my work day starts late enough that I didn't have to stagger out of bed at 7 a.m.

Will recap last night and other adventures later.

Happy New Year, everyone.