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Thoughts to Ponder Letter from a Little Leaguer's Dad Hi. My name is Keith. For the past several years my son has played in several youth sports, most prominently baseball, from Little League to high school. I have had the opportunity to watch parents, coaches, and athletes interact to become teams. Most of these interactions have been positive, but I have occasionally noticed areas in which parents can really help to make the athletic experience a positive learning experience for their kids. So, I would like to share some thoughts with you, too. I honestly believe that these ideas will help to make sports more fun for your children, more enjoyable for you, and a heck of a lot easier on those people who volunteer their time and skills. Hope they can help!!
Work with your child. There really is little more satisfying than going out at least a few evenings a week and playing ball with your kids. This gives quality time, and helps your child improve his/her skills (and, trust me, the better your child can play, the more she/he will enjoy the Little League experience!). Some day, your child will look back on the summer evenings spent playing catch with mom and dad.
Get involved in your local league. Most leagues are run on a volunteer basis, and they can use all the help they can get. Anything you can do to pitch in will make the league run more smoothly, and will help all the kids -- from helping out at tryouts, to scorekeeping or field preparation, to umpiring. If your son or daughter sees that their league is that important to you, he/she will learn that it is important to the kids, too. For years I have helped out by field prep, scorekeeping, and umpiring; in addition to making it a satisfying experience for me, I'm able to share in something that's very important to my son. And, the leagues provide all of the training anyone needs. Some people worry that they are not qualified--I say if you make a mistake, you can offer to give back the money you earned that day (remember--it's volunteer work!!). Besides, even coaches and players make mistakes...the point is to learn and to have fun, and to teach kids that you care!!!
As parents, we've learned to be patient with our kids. Be patient with their coaches, too. Different coaches have different philosophies. Some believe in having players play all positions, some want players to become good at one. Some coaches place more emphasis on winning, and some place all emphasis on learning. Each coach is different, and last year's coach probably did things differently than this year's coach will. It is IMPORTANT to remember that your child's coach is not being paid; he or she is working for the love of the game and the kids. Let them be the coach! Don't argue and criticize if you think your child is being treated unfairly (as parents, it is natural to be very protective, but most coaches aren't discriminating). If you think there is a problem, discuss it calmly with the coach AWAY from the ball field; chances are that you will see his point of view. The important thing is not to make an issue in front of the players; along with baseball, they are learning to work as a team and to respect authority and experience...work not to ruin this teaching.
For heaven's sake, show up for the games AND the practices. In today's busy world it is sometimes hard to juggle schedules, but this is your child! I cannot begin to tell stories of kids I've seen who never tried to excel at baseball, and invariably these kids were dropped off at practices and picked up afterwards, without the parent(s) ever watching a single practice. It's only a couple of times a week, a couple of months out of the year! The most irritating are the parents who don't ever watch practice (and, therefore, never understand the caches' philosophy), but will question (yell!) at a coach's decision during the game. Most people wouldn't dare to not show up for work and still tell the boss what's wrong with the company, but they will turn around and do just that with their childs' coach.
Respect the rules! This is what the kids should be learning. If you don't agree with an umpire's call, keep it to yourself. If there is a team rule that bothers you, well, its their team...not yours. If you think there is a serious problem, take it up with the coach or a league official on your own time, not your child's. Rule of thumb: during practice or games, don't speak unless spoken to (except, of course, to cheer on ALL the kids). This is not to say that you can't have a fan's opinion, or try to stick up for your kids; just realize that if you yell at an umpire in an unsportsmanlike way, kids will be watching, listening, and learning. If you must make a comment, try to keep it polite, upbeat, and humorous.
Ice Cream!!! No one likes to lose, but the nature of a team sport is that one team will always lose. Teach your child that he/she didn't lose, the team lost. And they lost to a team that just happened to play better that day. There is always next time, and the important thing is to learn from the defeats. It's okay to analyze why someone lost, and how he or she can do better next time. It's never okay to place blame! Then, go out and have an ice cream cone.
I can't stress this enough: VOLUNTEER...they need you. One of the biggest irritants I see is those who will not give their time, but are quick to criticize. If you can't be part of the solution, don't be part of the problem. If you think that something needs to be changed, get involved so that you can change it.
(This suggestion is from a manager) One of the most frustrating things for a manager is to have a parent come up after the season and say,"great season, but you kept doing something that bothered me." A manager/coach cannot change problems if they don't know the problems exist. Most managers/coaches welcome input.
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create pressure. Just about every father dreams of his son becoming
a major league star, but they are only children. Don't expect more
than they can deliver. Give positive encouragement, and be there when
they need you. Besides, often a child in early years will lack
certain skills, and blossom later on. Don't fight nature, or the
kids. The one thing that will make me cringe the most, at a game, is
to see a player strike out, or make a mistake, only to have a parent
up in the stands yelling at him/her. Praising them for their effort,
even in failure, will go a lot farther, and make the drive home much
more pleasant.
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