"Hey Jess,"Alexis, Jessica's sister, greeted as Jessica walked into her parents' house.
"Hey Lexi. How are you, love?"Jessica smiled, giving her pretty, younger sister a warm hug.
"I'm ok,"Alexis shrugged. "Things have been weird around here. Without Daddy here Mom's been throwing herself in her work at the law firm. She's been crazy lately."
Jessica sighed and reverted her eyes to the ground,"Have you talked to Dad?"
"No,"Alexis replied almost harshly. "I don't want to talk to him."
"Alexis Christine! He's our father. He did a stupid thing that could've cost him his life. Everyone makes mistakes. How can you be so selfish? He needs us right now. Alcoholism is a disease and he needs to get better. He's not going to get better if we don't give him the support he needs!"Jessica cried out.
"I don't see you running down to the rehab center everyday,"Alexis retorted, narrowing her eyes.
"I haven't had the chance. You and Matthew and Mom have had the chance and didn't go. You should all be ashamed of yourselves,"Jessica snapped.
"Oh save it for someone who wants to hear it Jessica,"Alexis spat and turned and stomped up the stairs.
Jessica groaned in frustration and walked out of her house into the beautiful Florida sun and onto the deck in their backyard where Matthew sat.
"Hey,"Jessica said softly taking a seat next to her brother.
"Hi,"Matt replied, almost inaudibly.
"What's wrong,"she asked, turning to him seeing him staring up at the blue, cloudless sky.
"Everything. Our family's falling apart Jess, can't you see it?"Matt whispered, not breaking his gaze from the sky.
"I know,"Jessica said back, a tear rolling slowly down her cheek.
"It's all his fault,"Matt said bitterly.
"Please don't say that. He has a problem,"Jessica said barely above a whisper.
"No shit. That problem is screwing everything up!"Matt yelled. "Why can't our family be normal??"
"Matt just stop alright?? No wonder Alexis said mom's going nuts because you guys don't give her support."
"You're a damn hypocrite! You ran away just like everyone else! No one wants to deal with this, including you! So, don't make it like you're some goddamn good samaritan going around doing good deads. Why do you have to be so stubborn, thinking you're right all the time? I can admit I don't want to deal with this, why can't you? You're just as scared as the rest of us,"Matt accused.
Jessica's face burned a deep shade of red partly from anger, partly from the embarrassment she felt because Matthew was right,"I don't have to take this." She scrambled up from the chair and headed towards the door.
"Thats right, go ahead and run away. You're good at that!"she heard Matt call after her. Tears streamed down her face as she stormed out of her house and into her car. Alexis watched from the top of the stairs, sadly.
"She's taking this harder then the rest of us,"she murmered to herself, shaking her head.
Jessica cried all the way to Nick's house. She couldn't go to AJ's. He didn't know what was going on and she didn't want to dump her problems on him. He'd think she was screwed up. Jessica knew her brother and sister were right. She wasn't running to see her father either. Truth was, she couldn't. It would totally kill her inside to see her father like that. She's been avoiding her family because she was afraid something like what just did happen would happen, and it did. They both hit a nerve and she didn't know what to do because they were both very right. As Jessica pulled up to Nick's gate, Eric,the man in the gatehouse, let her right in knowing who she was.
"Should I tell Nick you're here?"Eric asked her, a confused look on his face after seeing her cheeks stained with tears and her eyes watery.
"No it's ok. He gave me a key,"Jessica said, giving him a weak smile. "Is the Misses here?"
Eric laughed,"No from what I hear, "Willa"'s going to be in the studio all day."
"Ok good,"Jessica smiled then drove up the long driveway of his mansion that was in a secluded part of Tampa right on a pretty bay. She parked her Lexus and got out, wiping her cheeks and eyes with a tissue before slipping the key that Nick had given her into the lock and wandered into his huge house.
"Nick?"Jessica called. She peaked her head into each room. "He's probably in the studio,"she murmered and opened the door to Nick's private recording studio. Her heals clunked against the stairs as she went down them. She stopped when she got down and stared at Nick, who had his back turned to her with big black headphones on his ears. His foot tapped with the beat and Jessica smiled at how peaceful he looked. It almost made her wish she could sneak up behind him and kiss him with everything she had. Jessica slowly walked towards him and sat next to him. He looked at her, then did a double take jumping up.
"You scared the shit outta me,"Nick said, tearing the headphones off, his eyes as big as saucers.
Jessica smiled,"Sorry."
"It's alright...are you ok?"he asked staring intently at her.
"Not really,"Jessica said, her eyes filling with tears once more. She didn't want to do this, but she couldn't help it.
Nick looked scared. He didn't know what to do. Here was the former love of his life broke down in front of him, crying uncontrollably. He timidly took her in his arms and held her while she sobbed. He kissed her forehead softly.
After Jessica calmed down a little bit she wiped her eyes and pulled away,"I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see me like that. I didn't know where else to go. I couldn't go see AJ because he wouldn't understand."
"It's ok. Tell me what happened,"Nick said softly and pulled her to him.
"It's my family..."Jessica started and told him of her encounter with her brother and sister and how she was feeling. "I can't go and see him."
"You're stronger then you think you are Jess,"Nick said, squeezing her hand. "We were together for 2 years and I know you better then I think you know yourself and you CAN do this. You need to visit him and straighten things out. You can't be tripping like this because it's only going to make you crazy."
"I-I'm not strong. Look at me. Does this look like strong to you? I'm a mess,"she sniffled.
Nick smiled and laced his fingers with hers,"You're strong,baby, I know it."
"Thank you Nick. Sometimes I wish we were still together,"she whispered then her eyes widened at what had just escaped her lips.
"Me too,"Nick replied softly, turning his head away from her.
"Hey what are you doing down here?"Jessica asked, changing the subject.
"Messin around,"Nick smiled then put the headphones on her ears and fiddled around with a few buttons. Jessica smiled when Nick's voice filled her body.
"This is really good. Are you going to make the guys listen to this?"Jessica asked him. It was a slow, beautiful balad.
"Nah. I don't even know if I'm going to write background music for it. It's just a capella right now. It's probably gonna stay that way,"Nick shrugged.
Jessica smiled and listened to the song and took the headphones off when she was done,"That was pretty."
"Thanks. Sometimes when I don't don't know how to get my emotions out, I sing. I don't like to cry. You know that,"he grinned.
"Yeah,"Jessica said.
"I've only cried over you,"he whispered, touching the side of her face.
She looked away,"So Willa's got a nice little deal with MCA?"
"Yeah she's off recording til late tonight. She moved in here. Did AJ tell you?" Nick asked.
"Not that she moved in,"Jessica replied, feeling uncomfortable. Mandy was sleeping in the same bed that she had slept many, many times before. "So are you guys ready for the 100 hour tour?"
"I don't know. It's gonna be tiring, but a chance of a lifetime, so it's all good,"Nick said. "There's gonna be lots of crew and friends there so we won't be lonely."
"Yeah AJ told me. He invited me along and I really wish I could go but I can't afford to miss work. This apartment costs me a fortune,"Jessica groaned.
"I'll pay for it,"Nick half-joked.
"I just love how you can throw your money around like it's nothing,"Jessica sarcastically replied.
"Hey having money isn't all that great all the time,"Nick said.
"Oh no? I wish I had the same problem. My landlord's a little pissed coz I'm a little slow with the rent sometimes. But I will NOT take any money from anyone or go live at home. I draw the line at those things,"Jessica said.
"And that's great. I respect that a lot,"Nick grinned.
"You know, I don't have my own copy of Black and Blue yet,"Jessica told him thoughtfully.
"Really?? Wow,"Nick said, surprised then got up and went across the room and came back a minute later with a copy of Black and Blue in his hand. "We got tons of them to give to our friends and family. Open it and I'll sign it for you."
Jessica smiled and opened the plastic wrapping covering the CD. Once it was opened she slid the booklet out and handed Nick the CD. He picked a sharpie marked up from the desk in the studio and opened to his page in the book. He took about 2 minutes to write something and gave it back to her.
"Don't read it until you're home,"he said, smiling shyly.
Jessica smiled back,"Ok."
"So what do you say we go and veg out in front of the TV? We can chill...like friends,"Nick said.
"Sounds like a plan to me,"Jessica replied and stood up and they walked upstairs.
"Oh lord!!!"Jessica cried out and bursted out laughing, along with Nick.
They had been laughing and goofing off for the past hour and half, having a great time together.
"Howie had no freakin clue what was going on!"Nick laughed, setting Jessica into a new set of giggles.
"You guys are too much!"she exclaimed with a laugh. She tossed a piece of popcorn at Nick who caught it in his mouth.
"See? Now thats skill,"Nick joked, proudly.
"Oh please,"Jessica rolled her eyes, biting into a cookie. "Oh god, here I am pigging out. I'm gonna gain 5 pounds by the time you get through with me Carter."
"Hey men like a little meat on their women. You're too skinny,"he joked poking her in the side.
She jumped and giggled,"No I'm not."
Nick grinned and didn't take his eyes off her.
"What? Do I have something in my teeth?"Jessica asked, grinning cheesily.
Nick smirked,"No but you do have a crumb on your lip."
Jessica laughed and brushed her fingers across her lips,"Did I get it?"
"Nope,"Nick said and reached out and brushed his thumb lightly across her bottom lip.
Jessica closed her eyes for a second then opened them to find Nick staring at her again,"Don't tell me there's another crumb?"
"Nope,"he whispered then leaned closer to her. Their faces were inches apart. Jessica could feel his warm breath on her face.
Suddenly the phone rang causing the two of them to jump up.
Nick ran to it and answered it.
"Yeah?"he breathed into the phone.
"Yo Nick,"AJ's raspy voice said.
"Oh hey bro,"Nick replied.
"Have you seen my girl? She's hasn't been home all day,"AJ asked.
Nick suddenly felt guilty. He was going to kiss her and here AJ was all worried. His own girlfriend was in the studio totally unaware of what was going on,"Yeah she's been over here. We were just hanging out."
"Hanging out?"AJ's voice had a hint of jealousy in it.
"Yeah, you know like friends?"Nick said.
"Yeah I know. Can I talk to her?"AJ asked coolly.
Nick sighed slightly,"Hold on." He looked at her and walked over with the phone in his hands, tossing it to her.
"Hello?"Jessica said.
"Hey baby,"AJ said.
"Hey, what's up?"Jessica asked.
"Nothin, thats why I was looking for you,"AJ replied. "You gonna be home later?"
"Yeah of course,"Jessica said, glancing at Nick.
"Aight then I'll call you then,"AJ told her. "I miss ya babe."
"You too,"Jessica whispered and looked down. "I'll talk to you later."
"You bet your fine ass you will."
Jessica smiled slightly,"Bye."
"Later."
Jessica groaned and clicked the off button on the phone. She hung it up and went to sit down next to Nick.
"Sooo,"he said, looking everywhere but her face.
"Nick look at me,"Jessica said softly.
He finally forced his eyes to meet hers.
"Just friends,"she whispered.
"Just friends,"he repeated.
"I miss hanging out with you. I almost forgot how much fun you are, but we gotta get on with our lives. I want you to be there for me and I'll be there for you. I miss your company,"she told him, taking his hand. "You're the only one who I can cry to about my family."
He gave her a crooked smile,"I want us to be friends."
"Me too,"she replied. "So what do you wanna do now?"
"Hmmm...Nintendo? I bet I can still kick your ass at it,"Nick smirked, proudly.
"I bet you can too,"Jessica admitted, amused. "Ok you're on Carter."
Nick grinned boyishly and set up the game. Soon the two were involved in a very verbal, intense game.
"Heyy! You can't do that!"Jessica screeched.
"No?? I just did!"Nick yelled back. "Hahaha! GAME OVER!"
Jessica set down her controller then tackled him, sitting on his stomach,"You're too into those games, I swear. You're scary when you play. I don't know how Brian deals with you on the road."
"Oh you know you love me,"Nick smiled, as Jessica slowly got off of him.
She looked at her watch and moaned,"DAMN, I've been over here for a while. I better get going."
Nick nodded,"Ok." They both got up and Nick followed Jessica towards the door.
She gave him a hug and kissed his cheek,"Thanks for everything Nick. You've been really great. I think I might go see my father soon."
Nick smiled,"Thats good Jess." He gave her another tight hug before she left.
"Bye. I'll talk to you soon,"she said, offering a slight smile.
"Yeah, bye,"Nick replied, watching her as she opened the door and left, closing it behind her.
Nick leaned against his door, closing his eyes. Being just friends would be too hard for them, but he knew she needed him. He couldn't push her away.
Jessica sat at home later that day, listening to her copy of Black and Blue. The Call was kind of hard for her to listen to. It reminded her of how her relationship with Nick ended. Half the album reminded her of her relationship with Nick, but none the less it was still a great album. Jessica really liked it.
Suddenly, she remember that Nick had written something in her copy. She slid out the booklet and found Nick's page. Before she read the writing she looked at the picture of Nick in the corner.
"Whoa,"she breathed. He looked incredible. Then her eyes traveled to the writing.
Jess-
We've been through so much
together. You know I'm not
much with words, but I just
wanted you to know that I'll
always love you. If not as a
lover then as a friend.
She smiled to herself. 'Me too Nick. Me too,'she thought and sighed.
