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The holiday diaries: Day 3

We in Mexico!!!!

Something I forgot to mention from the previous entry was the horrible smell that accompanied us on our bus journey through the U.S. and Mexico
EJames didn't stop farting for the whole journey!
I don't know what he had to eat that day, but it reacted with his stomach, to produce a lot of gas! - maybe it was all that running he did)
Well, just had to say it, because it happened (sorry, Jim, but I am a reporter and reporters always tell it like it is.
(did I also forget to mention that I was fighting off lots of beautiful ladies that found me irresistable?).

So, where was I?...
We were in Mexico!
No, I didn't buy one of these.
Our bus arrived about an hour and a half after our plane was due to fly!
We saw a small airport, as we were coming into Monterrey. We were tried to ask the driver to stop the bus, but he said there was nowhere to stop safely (also, our bags were in the bus's luggage compartment). So, we had to watch, sadly as we left the airport far, far behind...
We thought maybe we could walk back to the airport, but 1km became 2km, then 5km, then 10km...20km...
Also, it was pouring down with rain!
(This actually turned out to be good luck, as it the airport we tried to get off at wasn't even the correct airport)

We knew we would have to take a taxi (apparently there is no public transportation to the airport. We had no choice.

After pulling into the station (eventually), we got out, grabbed our bags and walked into the centre of the station. Immediately, we saw the taxi company's stand. They offered us what seemed to be a reasonable price and we took the taxi - we were desperate to get to the airport as quickly as possible.
So, we paid the money to the lady at the counter and took our receipt. Then, a nice old man guided us to his car (in Spanish).
this guy spoke Spanish to me the whole journey - I didn't have a CLUE what he said! This is the outside of a green taxi. There were loads of them on the streets of Monterrey We got in and then we were off to the airport! (You can see the inside of the car we took in the photo to the left. The photo to the right shows the outside of one of the green taxis).
The taxi we took was a green one. It seemed that they were the only taxis in Monterrey, but later we found many other companies, shuttling people to and from the airport.
We had a full tour of downtown Monterrey and especially of the beer factories (someone must have made him think we liked beer - how did he know?)! He talked about the famous mountain overlooking Monterrey (where the city got it's name from). All the time, he talked in Spanish, whilst I nodded politely and then asked Jim to translate as best he could. James knew more Spanish than I did and he did a great job as translator for our trip.

Thanks, Jim.


So, we arrived at the airport very, very late!
We rushed to find the check-in counter. We explained to the nice young lady at the counter what had happened in the best Spanish we could manage (which, in my case was a series of grunts and gestures and frantic flapping noises, accompianied by growling and snorting, then hooting - not really, but maybe that would have been more effective!).
The nice young lady said it was okay and that she'd booked us on the next flight, leaving in about three hours time.
Fantastic! We both felt like we could have kissed her!
(but that was nothing to do with the fact that she had just given us a free ticket)

So, we'd gotten away with it... ...again.
It was past lunchtime, so we decided to have lunch! I got up to order my food.
This was going to be fun...

I walked over to the counter and there were two women and a man. The man was cooking at the back of the small kitchen and the women were waitresses. One was young (about 20) and the other was older (around 45. They were both talking and doing something, but I didn't know what.
I didn't want to say "Excuse me?", as I didn't want to interrupt them (and it would give me more time to think of what to say in Spanish!).

My first enchiladas and beer in Mexico! I figure I'd worked out what to say - "Enchiladas, porfavor."
However, I was to find out that it wouldn't be that easy..

Well, I had to wait a while until they could serve me. Then, when I tried to oder my food, I had difficulty being understood. I repeated my order a few times, but they kept saying something in Spanish to me. Eventually, with lots of gestures and much embarrasment and a few laughs, I understood that I was ordering from the wrong menu!
They asked me one more time, what I wanted. I hurriedly pointed to a dish that looked okay and asked for that. Well, it turns out I got enchiladas, after all! You can see my meal on the left.
The more attentive of you may also see that I have a beer. I asked the young lady for her recommendation and she said that DosXX was good. She said...

- "DosXX es muy bueno!"

...so I had one. It was! It was very good!
This was my frist meal (and my first beer) in Mexico! James also had a beer and a small meal. We relaxed and ate in the airport, watching the other passengers come and go. At one point, we thought we saw a movie star or famous actress, because this lady was followed my lots of cameramen. She must have been famous for something. They seemed to be filming her in the airport.
We also saw a football team walk past. Some of them were wearing their uniforms!
After we ate our meal, we decided to go into the duty free section of the airport. We entered the duty free zone and found that it was bigger and better than we though! They had a nice, big restaurant!
With TV!
With football on TV!

We had lots of time, so we walked around the shops. We looked at the selection of spirits and tequila and rum and other drinks. We also checked out the jewelry and the perfume sections. There were many perfume shops there. James really wanted to test out the men's perfume called 'White'. He asked many people but they all said they did not have a tester available for that fragrance. They told him he'd have to buy some! James didn't give up. He went to the next shop, and the next shop...
...and the next one. No luck. They all told him he would have to buy a bottle , if he wanted to smell it.
But James didn't give up. Finally, he found a nice guy who opened a bottle for him. James liked the smell so much, he bought a bottle (it wasn't cheap, but computer programmers make loads of money!). There were to be a few moments, on our travels, when something nice smelling would come in handy (especially after you've been travelling over 18hrs in hot weather).

It's Modelo time!
It was getting close to boarding time. We decided to sit down in the big restaurant and have a beer and watch some football (Jim is mad about football!). I ordered a Modelo. You can see me drinking this, in the picture on the right.
The football was from the Spanish league. It was good. We attached Real Madrid play. We could only watch for about 15 minutes.
After that, James mentioned to me these two ladies he saw, up on the viewing platform. Well, you know, I'm only human. If someone tells me they just saw the most beautiful, sexy women they've ever seen, only a short distance away... ...well, you just gotta check it out.
So, we did. The two ladies in question were sitting in front of the large viewing window, looking at the planes. We sat down about 5m to the left. I looked to my right and 'checked them out' (sorry for the cheesy English). Well, let's just say, James and I have differing tastes in women. Jim begs to differ. Let's leave it at that, shall we.
Jim, they were all yours, mate!

So, after that dissapoin/short walk, we boarded our plane.

Looks like a safe plane, right? ...wrong.
The plane, my goodness, what a ride!
I found God / lost God/ found my lunch / lost my lunch / found 10 pesos under the seat / lost my nerves / lost my virginity / found it again / lost in space / found gold in them thar hills / lost the plot
all in a few hair raising minutes...
... those in the trade call it turbulence.

Those unaccostomed to it say "Holy shit!!!"


Regardless of your level of professionalism, even the attendants looked pale.
We were coming into Mexico city and they turbulence hit us. It was like being on a huge rollercoaster ride. James started crying (okay, so he wasn't crying, but wouldn't it be cool if he was - I mean , for the sake of the TV movie they're gonna make, based on my memoirs).
Okay, James was looking 'worried'. I was having a laugh. It was so exciting. The people around us were enjoying it about as much as James was (not very much). There were a few moments when I caught my stomach in my throat - I admit that was pretty hairy (but not as hairy as my encounter on the beach, at Cancun - see day 4) , but I had faith that this was just normal. Also, I'm sure I heard Jim praying... ..or maybe it was the wind... Anyway, Jim, if you were, I hope you were praying double for me, too.


Another glance out of the window, taking in the wing led me to a startling discovery...
... there was a piece missing from the wing!!!!


Can you see the missing piece?

It's towards the bottom of the picture.

I'm sure that that's not the way it's supposed to be.
I told James and I don't think it made the situation better for him.

Seriously, though, I think this could have been a real safety issue. I mean, the plane is travelling at over 300 mph, right? There must be a lot of wind pressure on that hole and the way it looks, suggests that the air is being forced into that hole.

Scary stuff. I didn't notice what condition the wing was in before take off, so I can't say when this happened. Maybe it's nothing serious, but at the time, it only heightened our tensions.


here it is, one of the largest cities in the world


After a few minutes of this, we settled down and then started to get ready to land in Mexico city.

Man, that place is huge!

It was awesome, trying to take in the sheer size of the place. It streched from one horizon to the other.

As we got closer, I could see the gridlike structure of the city streets.
James was eager to find the Azteca football stadium - we both would have liked to have visited this monument to soccer history, but alas, there was no time.

I spotted one or two stadiums, but I couldn't be sure if either were the famous Azteca.
Sorry, Jim


So, we landed in Mexico City.
Did we have time to visit this fabulous city, full of vibrant culture and history? - NO.

We had barely a few hours before we had to board our connecting flight to Cancun.
We spent most of this time, trying to find the boarding gate!
If you've never been to Mexico City airport, let me tell you something...
- it's big!

Also, it's not easy to find someone who can tell you just what you need to know. It took us ages to find out which gate we needed to get to, and then it took us ages to find the flippin gate!

I also wasted a lot of time trying to exchange travellers checques (the only money exchange office was closed for the day!). So, i had no choice but to board the plane to Cancun with no money. I couldn't even buy the souvineers I wanted in Mexico City.
We had to rush to get to the gate, if I remmeber correctly.
We got there just in time! lovely, ...just lovely

We boarded our plane.


It was then that I discovered the wonderful seating arrangement that James had booked for me.

He said he didn't know my seat would be right next to the engine, but I have my doubts...

It was an interesting experience, vibrating at 40,000rpms whilst trying to eat your airplane sandwich, as it shuddered around on your bouncing tray.

I shouldn't have to tell you that drinking a steaming hot cup of coffee required nerves of steel.

James could have shouted helpful suggestions to me but to tell the thruth I don't think I would have heard a word he said. Even through a blanket and a pillow, the drone of the engine would have drowned out even a screaming Pavarotti - who had just jammed his testicles in the seat belt fastener (and that's gotta be pretty loud, let's agree at that).

Well, I stuck with it and I have to say, it wasn't so bad. The turbulence this time wasnt as bad as the first flight, although it was a little bumpy again.

Soon after that, we landed in Cancun.



Cancun airport is pretty modern and I have to say, pretty well organised. We had no trouble in finding the information booths and the people there were very helpful in recommending us places to stay. We were not after the huge, five star hotel experience and so, after convincing the guides that we were just looking for somewhere cheap and clean, they recommended us the exact place we had heard about from our friend, Natalia.
Whatever's under there, it aint human...

It was Youth Hostel, in Downtown Cancun. The photo on the left shows James, in the land of nod.

(Jim, did you know you talk in your sleep? - and who is this 'David Davies' person, whom you seemed to be talking to in your dreams...and what was all that about "JJ's naughty sausage" and "No, Mommy, I don't want to go back in the closet" or "David, spank me with your rubber gloves! Spank me good!"

Hmmm...

Let me tell you, this place was just right for us. It may not have been very glitzy, but it was in an ideal location (easy access to transport to the airport and very close to the central bus station). The rooms were very clean and cheap. James and I booked a double room with private bathroom, TV, wardrobe and air conditioning. I can't remember what it cost us, but it wasnt expensive. Also, there was a freee breakfast included. The breakfast was good!

It was called the Soberanis Hostel. Click on this to take you to their website. I'm not sure if it was the best place to stay, but it was cheap enough and clean enough and the breakfast was nice. The people there were nice enough, too. The free internet was a nice extra. The guests made alittle noise on the one night we stayed there, but it wasn't too bad (they were British, by the way). You can find out more about our breakfast and 'the morning after', on the next page...



    Some snippets from day 4:
  • the classic quote that I suffered at the hands of some inquisitive Americans,
  • our encounter with the beautiful, bikin clad, bar dancing, blind drunk spring break American ladies,
  • our run in with the MTV camera crew,
  • my endless quest to support the local economy through beverage purchases,
  • the trouble entailed in getting back to our bus (almost missing the thing),
  • my accidental groping of a young, sleeping Mexican woman and the near asphyxiation and crushing of her infant child (...wait, that was day 2).
  • my accidental destruction of the door to the toilet on our bus (I broke the handle and it wouldn't lock, but kept swinging open),
  • my accidental spillage all over the floor of the above mentioned toilet (It was water, honest! I was, uh... ...washing, my, face...)
plus many, many more!!!!

Sorry guys. Not finished my holiday diaries yet. You'll just have to come back...

Don't forget to check out my collection of day three photos,
at the picture gallery!


I feel I must point out... Edit:This comment is from James:
"FYI - the flatulence didn't set in until after we visited Natalia's house." -- Well, James, I'm sorry but I (and my nose) beg to differ.