The Romantic Lingerie

They say men go ape over sexy lingerie.
Okay so picture this...
You are like 50 pounds overweight, and he comes
home with this sexy outfit...
His eyes are filled with lust and desire..
He finally talks you into putting it on for him...
You leave the room....and try as hard as you can..
you can't seem to even get one leg  into the darn thing.
And you know he is sitting out side that door...waiting..
What do you do ?
If you tell him it doesn't fit..you have to
tell him your real size...
If you tell him it itches you...
He says he will scratch you where it itches...
If you say it's the wrong color for you..
He'll say it doesn't matter..
How do you get out of this situation ?
Simple....
Tell him your last lover gave you one exactly like
it and how much fun you had..
I can guarantee he'll take it back...

Now heres's a story about a man who didn't believe
in Lingerie....
Which is more like your man ?

For Frank's birthday, his wife wanted to surprise him when
he came home from work.  After some careful consideration she
decided to strip naked and wrap herself in saran wrap from her
shoulders to her ankles.

Pretty soon Frank enters his house exhausted from a tough day
at work.  He walks through the kitchen, places his lunchbox down,
and hears his wife say, "Honey!  I'm in the living room."

Rounding the corner, he spots her all wrapped up in plastic.
After a quick peek, immediately he says, "Leftovers again!"