July 25, 2001
YO! What’s up dudes? I’ll tell ya, it’s been one helluva week for Joeseph Dean Tomozuski. Between workin at the Boys & Girls Club, Concerts, Nascar, and Chano, I’ve had my hands full.

First the job. I’m still employed thank God, but I guess I’m under watch. See I decided on Friday that it was too damn hot to swim in the pool at the Club. The water was like 87 degrees, and the kids didn’t want to go in. (When Mr. Kelly, my boss, asked them later if they wanted to go in, they all lied and said I told them not to). Anyway, I decided to take them to Darrah Pond instead. I didn’t know you had to run this by the Club before you take the kids outta the club. All that aside, we had a blast at Darrah. I had some of my old High School buddies meet us down there with brew, and we swam till the cops showed up. When we got back to the Club it was like 10:30 at night, and I got in a bit of trouble. I said I was sorry, and a couple of other things I don’t remember. But from now on I’m not allowed to take the kids anywhere.

On the week-end me, Rob T., Dillon, and my old pal Petey Duke, went up to Louden for the Nascar race. It truly was a night from hell. Hannah and Ashley were suppose to stay at my house that week-end, and since I wasn’t there they had to stay with the Arsenault’s. Plus, we all got busted for speeding on 95 South after the race. Oh yeah, the race. Get this. We didn’t even get to go. I had the tickets and everything, but listen to this. All of us are banned from Nascar events. I guess two years back, Pete streaked across the track when he was tanked. Well the security people remembered him and didn’t let us in. So now we’re bored as hell, lookin’ for somethin’ to do in Louden. We went to some camp site to get tanked, and when we were driving back from the mountains I guess I rear ended some motorcyclist who was with his motorcycle gang. So they chased us for about forty miles down 95 South until we all got pulled over. Just what Joe T. needs, a suspended licsence.

Then on Sunday, me and the crew (Jerry A., Petey D., and Teddy Show) went down to Rhode Island to watch the Pats preseason camps. Little did we know that they get Sundays off. So we went to some Chinese Restaurant (Teddy picked it). Anyway, after some Chow Yun Pow, I go into the john to take a whiz. And ya know how they put those newspapers in front of the crapper? I saw an ad that said there’d be naked ladies at the Tweeter Center at 7:00. So we all hauled off to the Tweeter Center with keg in hand. We got there at like 6, so we drank a lot of the booze. Then show time came and this guy said the bare naked chicks were comin’ out. Then I saw a bunch of dudes get on the stage. I thought maybe they were the bouncers. But no, they started playing music. Crappy music. What the hell was this? I asked some cop where the strippers were and he said that Barenaked Ladies was the name of the band. It goes without sayin’ that me and Jerry were ripped. That’s false advertising. So we ran up on the stage and tried to choke the singer but got our asses kicked by security. We got thrown out, and lost Pete and Teddy. We ended up leavin’ ‘em there we were so pissed. Me and Jerry are planning to sue a bunch of people for that false advertising.

So you’d think Joe T.’s had enough. But guess who shows up at my door at 2 in the mornin’ yesterday to give me a royal ass-kickin’. Yeah, Chano. Apparently Pete and Teddy told him that I was spreadin’ the word that he robbed the bank. Thanks Pete and Teddy! Ya a-holes!

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