Millions of people have a gay old time with Frank every night of the week! It's showing around the clock and around the globe!

It's already been translated into 10 language. ( For example "frank " is Frank in klingon.) Perhaps it's the catchy tunes that make people love this show, or the awesome lightsaber battles, or the fact that Frank is played by veteran actor George Barchini (Best known for his role as Legolas the eleven Archer, in the wildly acclaimed LOTR Trilogy.) No matter what it is, this reporter predicts that Frank will be playing for a long time! 

Summary- 
This play is broken up into three parts, so I figured the summary should be in three sub topics. 

Act One: 
When the play first begins we see the female main character, Laura Zanzal wondering why her boyfriend is so strange.  She expresses this to the audience through the jazz hit Why Can't I get this guy horny? Just then Frank himself prances onto the stage. He tells her that "We better get to class or Mr.Navage will say we are Commies!" Despite their efforts they arrive late and greatly anger teacher Mr.Navage ( Chris Chambers.) Laura's worries are only made worse after Frank gives Mr.Navage a lap dance to get out of having a detention. After class Frank sings about being the worlds greatest interior decorator in the song Boogie Woogie Feng Shui. Just when Laura couldn't be any more nervous about Frank's sexual preferences, the hottest, strongest, smartest, wittiest, guy in school walks in. His name is Jango Fett (Ray Wetmore). Jango asks Frank to the box social (No, I don't know what a box social is either.) and Franks says YES! Laura is crushed as Frank explains his sexual
choice in the song  Do I have to spell it out for you? I'm stone cold gay!   Frank and Jango ride off together on pink fluffy jet packs!  Laura then screams "I'm so angry I could KILL him!" 

Enter Cece M- Assassin for Hire... 

Cece explains that she can make Laura's dreams of car bombs and poison spiders bites while sleeping a reality. This leads into a little old song called I'll make it look like an accident. Laura hires Cece to kill Frank, but Cece mistakes him for Principal Dorkus Maximus (Spencer Lavalle). As the girls try to figure out what to do with the body, The Cheshire Police are marching  down the halls in their Annual " Lets march through the school halls looking for bodies day". Chief Irish Stereotype (Jerome Palmeri) is pretty sure that the girls are hiding the bodies. Luckily they tell him that it's a vending machine. When he asks why it doesn't sell sodas, they explain that it is out of order. Chief Irish Stereotype might have looked further into the case, but he and the boys sure didn't want to be late for the box social (even though they weren't entirely sure what a box  social is.) They let the
girls go about their business. 

Everything seems to be going well until... 

In tangos a man with a perfect spanish tan. He has rippling muscles and dark brown eyes. His hair is long and red like the fires of hell. He has a rose in his mouth and a guitar in his hands for serenading. It is sexy millionaire playboy Kelly Marchand (Chris Cellea). He is followed by his group of dumb, ugly lackeys Dan Olsen (Kevin Spencer),Brendan Robinson (Matt Delage),Kyle Stegina (Collin Winner), Ryan "The Bod" Delage (Brock Lesnar) and Keith Grayeb (A sock puppet being operated by Brock Lesnar.) He has come to convince Laura to attend the Box Social with him (though he is to ashamed to mention he doesn't know what a box social is.) Kelly tries to sway her in the song At least I don't like having sex with other men.  Laura flat out tells him that she can never love a man who watches less then 10 hours of HGTV a day. Cece challenges Kelly and his lackeys to a dragonball z style energy battle hundreds of feet in the air. She manages to kill everyone but Kelly, who slips away while she is too busy energy blasting Brendan's body to ashes. An enraged Kelly enters the Bio lab and turns the gamma rays to face the caged test monkeys. He knows this doesn't solve his problems but it makes him feel better temporarily. But the rays turn the monkeys super smart and they break out of their cages. They then torture Kelly in the offbeat rag time comedy song Sweet Jesus,their eating my eyes!  The curtains fall as the monkeys plot to rule the world and destroy the box
social they know so little about. 

Act Two: 
The curtains open to Frank and Jango talking a long slow walk on the beach at sunset.Then out of the sand pops Monkey infantry troops with their elctroprods and  human catching nets. Jango Fett flies off on a jet pack leaving Frank to be captured. Just as the damn dirty apes close in the ghost of Owen Hart (Jordan Bates) scares them off. Owen then explains to Frank the wonders and magic of  of having sex with a naked chick in the song I'd like to see a gay guy with a rack. Meanwhile,Mr.Navage sings You damn dirty commie nazi degenerate rebel ruffian apes! then the monkeys scold Mr.Navage in the heart touching song It hurts when you compare us to George W. Bush. After that, they eat Mr.Navage's face and take Laura and Cece prisoner. In order to lengthen the play Owen Hart sings a parody song called Hart and Soul. He then  shows Frank a vision of the monkeys taking prisoners. An enraged Frank rushes off to save his love and some other person he has never seen before. The monkeys leader Dr.Zeus is building a giant robot to smash stuff when Frank flips through a glass window. He then activates his purple Mace Windu lightsaber and (excuse the pun) goes APE SHIT on everyone! After he is done decapitating all the monkeys, he sings the touching love song  I'm gonna be perfectly Frank with you. 

Epilogue: 
Everything worked out great. Frank learned to love women. Laura didn't have to worry about her boyfriend tonguing other dudes. The ghost of Owen Hart decided to open up a nursery school. Mr.Navage became President. Kelly and Cece formed a
comedy team and headed for Vegas. And it turns out that Principal  Dorkus Maximus and Kelly's Lackeys were just TEMPORARILY DEAD. And everyone learned that a "box social" is just fancy lingo for a Pickle Ball Tournament.  It was the best Kawanza ever... 

REVIEW- 
Seeing as how I wrote, produced, directed, composed, and chorographed Frank, you know you're getting a completely  unbiased review when I say- 

FRANK THE MUSICAL IS HUMANITIES' GREATEST
ACCOMPLISHMENT! IT IS JUST LIKE CATS BUT WITH WILDER
COSTUMES AND ALOT MORE CRAWLING AROUND ON THE
FLOOR!