Twenty things you will NEVER hear a femme say...

1. You know, I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.

2. I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!

3. Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wetspot

4. Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse

5. That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch football again?

6. There was a HUGE spider in the sink, but I killed it.

7. The new girl in my office used to be a stripper, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

8. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.

9. Bar food again!? Kick ass!

10. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your Ex girlfriend has class.

11. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am, Cool, I'm gonna go over

12. I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.

13. I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentines Day present, thanks "Snookums".

14. I've decided to buy myself a boob job, How big do you want 'em?

15. It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

16. Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie's bare ass!

17. My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

18. I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.

19. Ya know, I just don't feel like going shopping today.

20. If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.



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