1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop

2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge

3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding

4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead

5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum?: You CAN Tell the Difference!

6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I

7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II

8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Femmes Anymore!

9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In

10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In

11. Bathroom Etiquette I: Let's Wash Those Towels!

12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper!

13. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill

14. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Shirts

15. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware

16. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!

17. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means

18. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond Pizza

19. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category.

20. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote

21. "I Could Have Played a Better Game Than That!": Why Femmes Laugh

22. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Closet

23. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed

24. "I Don't Know": Be the First Butch to Say It!

25. The Gas Gauge in Your Car: Sometimes Empty MEANS Empty

26. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them

27. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime

28. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

What they say....	What they mean....
"Haven't I seen you before?"	"Nice ass."

"I'm a Romantic."	"I'm poor."
"I need you."	"My hand is tired."
"I want a commitment."	"I'm going broke buying batteries."
"You're the only woman I've ever cared about."	"You are the only woman who lets me get drunk with my buddies."
"I really want to get to know you better."	"So I can brag to my butch buds about it."
"It's just orange juice, try it."	"3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head."
"She's kinda cute." .	"I wouldn't kick her out of bed but a pillow over the head might be necessary."
"I don't know if I like her."	"She won't sleep with me."
"I miss you so much."	"I am hungry and sick of pizza delivery."
"Was it good for you?"	"Can I go to sleep now?"
"I had a wonderful time last night."	"Who the hell are you?"
"Do you love me?"	"I've done something stupid and you might find out."
"Do you 'really' love me?" .	"I've done something stupid and you're going to find out sooner or later."
"How much do you love me?" .	"I've done something really stupid and someone's on their way to tell you by now."
"I'll give you a call." .	"I'd rather have my nipples torn off by wild dogs than see you again."
"I've been thinking a lot."	"You're not as attractive as when I was drunk."
"I've learned a lot from you."	"Next!!!!"
"I'm on a long distance call, can you call me later?"	"I gotta turn on my answering machine." .

What they say....

What they mean....