Domestic Violence kills....

This is the story about how domestic violence affected my life, as well as the lives of those around me. I've included some photos that are rather unsightly, so please, if you think you will be offended, please do not go any further. This is not to bring offensive material to light, but rather to offer hope to the hopeless.
There is hope......
bev Annie






I grew up in a loving environment, knowing love and how to love....how one goes from such an environment to one of domestic violence is still a mystery.


In July, 1977, my parents received a call from me, asking Daddy to come get me. I was in a difficult situation. I lived in east TX and was awaiting the return of my abusive husband. I knew I had to get out before he killed me. It would take my daddy about 4 hours to get to me, but he was on his way.

I had no phone, I had no transportation. I had no friends. I had nothing but two helpless children that were also being abused. I had no idea just how much abuse they were suffering until years later. I cannot explain why I stayed, other than I had no way to leave, and had been told that he would hunt me down like a dog and kill me if I ever left him. And then I was repeatedly told the stories about how he left a game warden dead in the woods, and how he had set fire to his father's house, which ended up killing his stepmother. There were more stories, but I've tried to forget them.

I had to get my neighbor to take me to town to find a phone to use. And to take me to the only law official around, a justice of the peace. I tried to get some help, to protect me and my children until my father could arrive, but the officer told me that there was nothing they could do to protect me until the spouse had done something. I left with absolutely no hope, knowing that once he returned I was dead.

Over the years, I have forgotten some of the events of the day. I only wish that I could erase them all from my mind.

Tom returned to find my bags packed and my waiting for my father. He was livid! He wanted to take our child, my baby girl of less than 6 months. I had seen how he was around children, both my son from a previous marriage and our little angel. I would never allow him to take her while I had breath in my body. I knew I would never see her again and that he would abuse her. I picked up my baby, held her to my breast and ran. I ran out the door, and towards the neighbors house. He knocked me to the ground and started beating me. I clutched my baby to my breast, wrapped in my arms, and covered her with my body. He would not hit her, only me. And he did. He beat me all around the head and back, but couldn't get her from me. Finally, the neighbors were able to talk him into letting them take the baby with them.

That was fine with Tom, for this enabled him to drag me around the house, away from their view, and to proceed to give me the beating of my life, and ultimately, my death. But God had different plans. He was pulling me by the hair, therefore, I lost tremendous amounts of it, having large bald spots, the size of a large orange. The whole time, I'm kicking and fighting to run in flight, but cannot get away from him. Once he gets me around the house, he grabs me by the head and starts pounding my head against the brick sidewalk, the concrete steps and the side of the house. He kicks me in the head, face and shoulders. He beats me with his fist, repeatedly. I recall the feelings of thinking he would surely stop soon. I didn't know he had so much energy. Finally, he decides in his madness that he will end it all. He puts his knee in my chest, and declares to me "I know what I'll do, I'll kill you, I'll cut your throat!!!" and starts digging in his pocket. Fear gripped my heart as I could see my children being without a mother and living with this sorry piece of slime while he was on the run and evading the law. I cried out two simple words of prayer -- "Oh God!!"--and in my desperate cry, my Lord sent the mighty angels to overcome me and give me the power to overcome this maniac. I grabbed the knife from his hand, slung it under the house, and threw him off of me. I ran as fast as I could to the neighbors house, fleeing death and this crazed man.

The neighbors, God bless their hearts, went and got my son, and allowed Tom to have reign over the house and all of my possessions. By this time, I, too, was crazed. I wanted a gun. I was going to put a stop to all of this craziness. They could take me to jail, I didn't care. I was not going to live like this anymore. I begged and pleaded with the neighbors to loan me their gun. Of course, they wouldn't. The husband had to go to bed because he had to work the next day, and I tried to slip into the bedroom while he was sleeping and find the gun, but couldn't do it. God had His hand on me, even then.

By this time, Tom had gotten his things, as well as destroying mine, and was sitting in his car(oh, yes, HE had a car) in front of the neighbor's house, screaming all of these horrible things at me. This went on and on for an endless time, until lights turned into the driveway. Tom took off like a maniac, knowing it was my father. I run out onto the porch, saw it was Daddy and run out to the car. Daddy took a good long look at me while I was running thru the headlight beams and he asked me who that was leaving. When I told him it was Tom, he slammed his gears into reverse to take off after him. I run along side of the car, begging him not to waste his life on Tom. That he would be the one to have to pay for it, and Tom just wasn't worth it. He somehow heard the logic, or maybe it was the desperation in my voice, and pulled back in and got out. I hadn't seen what I looked like yet.

We took the kids and went to the house to gather my things. The house was a disaster. Tom had destroyed everything that he couldn't take with him. He even took my items for personal hygiene. The man was feeling rejection because I was choosing to leave him. Yet, I felt rejection at almost every word he spoke to me, at every hand that slapped me across the face, at every glance towards another woman, and yes, at every cruel thing he did to my children. He didn't do that to hurt them, but rather to hurt me.


While in the house, I finally got an opportunity to look at myself. Oh, what a mess I was..... how utterly devastating. I could see why my daddy wanted to hunt the man down. I was drenched in blood, both eyes were black, bruising on my ears and shoulder and forehead. It had a large "egg" swollen on it, and ultimately left a permanent "crack" in my skull. I had a deep gash over one eye.


My shirt was without a button, but you couldn't see anything because of the blood. I had lost a large amount of blood from the cut. Yet, God was so good to me. Even with all of the trauma I suffered, I still have a sound mind and all of my body parts still function as they should. It's a wonder that I have my sight or mind at all.


This photo was a few weeks later
God kept His precious hand on this child. Some would wonder how could a good God allow this to happen. I tend to think it was a matter of my having to reap what I had sown by even starting a relationship with this person. I was living in rebellion and that means trouble. I got into the wrong crowd and this was the results of it. The other thing is Romans 8:28 -- All things work together for the good of them that love the Lord and are called according to His purpose. You may not see this as anything good, but I promise you, good came out of it. I lived for some 24 years in fear, until this man died a long, slow, painful death from TB. It was then that I felt freedom. It was then that the oppression of fear lifted off of me. It was then that my bondages were no longer. Yes, I was held prisoner, slave, if you have it, to a marriage and relationship that stole much of my life. For two years I have been free from that, and I have never felt so free in all of my life. I have a wonderful life. I have remarried. My husband is a God fearing and loving Christian man. We've been married for nearly 22 years now. I have 3 children and 3 grandchildren. My world is not perfect, but it's without Tom. That's about as perfect as it can get. The bible says that we are to forgive 7 X 70 in a day. And I have done that. I have forgive him for his evil deeds. What it doesn't say is that take him back in and live with him again. It doesn't say that I have to rub shoulders with him. I learned a lesson. It was an expensive lesson. I will not allow myself to be put in a relationship again that will cause me fear and rejection and less than the person that I am meant to be. I may not do things the way that you want me to do them, but then, God made me separate and apart from you. I am not anyone's slave, and I will never be held in that kind of bondage again. Slavery comes in many forms. It didn't stop at the end of the Civil War. If you, or someone you know, are suffering from similar circumstances, stop and think about what is going on in your life. I'm not recommending divorce. That's not of God. But sometimes we make wrong choices. We're human. If you find yourself in a situation that is not healthy, does not promote the well being of you or the relationship, maybe you need to reconsider the relationship. God sent His only Son to die for our sins.......do you really think that you are not worthy of His attention, if He went to those extents???

For you that has compassion, thank you. For you that has sympathy, thank you, but please understand that I have surpassed that. I am strong now, I have recovered much. I do still suffer from some of the effects of this type of abuse, and there are physical effects that haunt me occasionally, but I am a survivor. Now it's my turn to tell the hopeless that there is hope......they do not have to live without hope.



Do you really think that you deserve the abuse, whether it's verbal or emotional or physical or sexual? Do you really think that God wants you to experience these things, if He thought enough of you to send Christ for your salvation??? It just doesn't add up, does it? You are worthy! You are good! And you are loved!!! Love yourself.

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