Gigi Sinclair
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Gigi SinclairCurveballTitle: Curveball Author: Gigi Sinclair E-mail: gigitrek@gmail.com Web site: https://www.angelfire.com/trek/gigislash Archive: Ask first. Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Jack/Daniel Category: AU/Episode Missing Scene Season/Spoilers: 3.05 "Learning Curve" Synopsis: Jack spends some more time with Merrin. Notes: A sort of AU, sort of Missing Scene addendum to "Learning Curve." Disclaimer: Insert Standard Disclaimer here (come on, people, you all know it.) Date: November 2003 |
Merrin had been quiet since they'd left the school. Well, Jack thought, to be honest, she hadn't exactly been Chatty Cathy while they were there, but she had asked questions. A lot of questions. Now, all she was doing was staring at the picture she'd drawn.
"You should show that to Major Carter," Jack suggested, as he stopped at a red light. "She'll be thrilled you made her so skinny."
He expected to get a question about that, or maybe just a cursory, "Explain, please." Merrin said nothing.
OK, then. The light turned green and Jack pressed the accelerator.
They were almost at the base when Merrin said: "Colonel O'Neill, what is dance?"
"Dance?" Jack blinked. "It's when you move around to music."
"What is music?"
"Um, it's…you know…Here." He leaned forward and switched on the radio. A clearly excitable man screamed about low low prices at Colorado Springs Dodge Chrysler Jeep.
"That is music?" Merrin looked non-judgemental, but nonplussed.
"No." He fiddled with the buttons a minute, and some example of tinny teen pop filled the truck. "That's music. Well, one kind of music. There are hundreds of kinds, and every song is unique…" Merrin frowned. "I know, I know. Daniel's way better at explaining stuff like this."
"Because Dr. Jackson is more intelligent than you?"
Yeah, kid, just keep right on beating that horse. Doesn't hurt, honest. "Because he likes to explain." He liked to dance, too, although Jack didn't think Daniel shaking his bonbon in the shower was a sight for prepubescent eyes. Or any eyes but his own.
"And you do not?"
"I'm just not used to it."
Merrin thought about this for a moment. "At 'school', I met some girls who had created a 'dance.' They endeavoured to 'teach' me, but I could not grasp the rudiments of this exercise." She looked almost disappointed.
Jack smiled. "Oh, sure you could have, Merrin. You just need practice."
"Practice?"
"Repetition. Doing the same thing over and over." Just what Jack needed, he thought, to have a decent conversation with this kid.
"I see." Merrin looked at the paper in her hands. Jack pulled through the checkpoint, ignoring the 'you are in so much trouble' eyebrow-raise from the airman on sentry duty, and parked the truck. As he switched off the engine, trying not to wonder whether he'd just sacrificed his career to give a kid an art lesson, Merrin turned to him and said: "I would like the opportunity to…practice this dance with the other girls."
Jack felt like his heart had stopped. Forcing himself to sound casual, he said, "You know, Merrin, all you have to do is ask. I'm sure the school would be thrilled to have you back tomorrow." Provided Merrin was here and not back home getting her brains sucked out.
Jack waited. And waited. Finally, a short eternity later, Merrin looked up from her drawing and said: "Colonel O'Neill, I would like to stay on Earth for the immediate future."
Jack grinned. "Can I quote you on that?"
Merrin looked puzzled. "Why would you wish to do that?"
"It's an expression, Merrin."
"Hey."
Jack looked up at the sound of Daniel's voice. "Hi."
"Hiding out?"
"Not at all. I'm just enjoying some quiet time in my office."
"For the first time in a year."
"You exaggerate, Dr. Jackson."
Daniel ran a critical finger over the bookshelf. "You need to dust, Colonel O'Neill."
Jack smiled, rubbing his eyes. Tiring business, causing interplanetary incidents. Wordlessly, Daniel left the dusty bookshelf and came up behind him, resting his hands on Jack's shoulders. "Where's Merrin?" He asked, finally, the hands squeezing gently.
"Giving Carter remedial physics lessons."
"Kalan says you brainwashed her. Forced her to turn against her culture."
Jack snorted. "Like hell. If anything, I deprogrammed her." Right? "What's Hammond doing?"
"He's holding his ground. He sent Kalan home."
"And Kalan went?"
"Not willingly. Hammond had to threaten him with arrest. And promise to keep in daily contact. You're lucky they don't have lawyers on Orban."
"We have lawyers. They can't make her go back."
"She's a minor." Daniel said it calmly, almost conversationally. It was still enough to send Jack over the edge.
"Jesus, Daniel!" He jumped up, pushing Daniel off him. "You were there. You saw what was happening. We can't let them take her back." Not when she'd just come to her senses. "No one's going anywhere for now." Daniel put an arm around him, and Jack sat back down, suddenly embarrassed.
Not, of course, that he'd ever mention that to Daniel.
"I know I did the right thing." No matter what Kalan said, or Hammond, or anyone else. Jack didn't care. He'd saved Merrin's life.
He hadn't been able to save Charlie, but he'd saved Merrin.
"You did the only thing, Jack."
Jack put a hand over Daniel's and gave a light squeeze. "You coming over tonight?"
The shy look on Daniel's face, even after three months of what Jack could only classify as down and dirty mind-blowing sex, was priceless. "If you want to see me, Jack."
"Are you kidding?" The day he'd turn down the chance to see any part of Daniel, he thought, was the day you could take away his shoelaces and confine him Mackenzie's favourite little white room.
They'd put Merrin in one of the VIP suites. Before he left the base, Jack went to see how she was settling in.
She was by herself, sitting with a box of crayons and a large stack of blank paper. "Colonel O'Neill." She glanced up when he entered the room.
"Hi." He looked over her shoulder. A picture of a slightly filled- out Carter holding a naquadah reactor was in front of her. "What's up?" She hesitated, and he amended: "I mean, are you OK?"
"I am well." Merrin carefully returned a black crayon to the box and selected a light blue one. "Major Carter has returned home."
"Yeah. She looked pretty beat." Carter had stopped by his office before she left, to let him know where Merrin was.
"What is home, Colonel O'Neill?" Merrin asked, giving the Carter- figure eyes.
"Home? It's where you live."
"Is this my home?" She looked around the room.
"Not exactly." Not yet, anyway. "Home is where your belongings are."
"Belongings?"
With a sudden, extreme sympathy for every teacher he'd ever found it amusing to torment, Jack took a deep breath and continued: "Yeah, your stuff. Your toys. Toys," he added, when he saw Merrin's mouth open. "Are things like your crayons. They're what you use for fun."
"I understand." Merrin put a few finishing touches on Carter's uniform and neatly closed the box. "Do you need many 'belongings' to make a home?"
"Ask my ex-wife, she got most of mine", was on the tip of his tongue, but he said: "No. Sometimes, a home is just people who love each other." He smiled, satisfied. This wasn't so hard after all.
Merrin blinked. "What is love?"
"What?"
"I'm sorry, Colonel O'Neill, I do not understand…"
"No, it's OK." It was painful to hear those words from the mouth of any child, but obviously, any species that would harvest their children's brains probably wouldn't be big on the warm fuzzy feelings. Jack leaned against the table.
"Love. Mrs. Stewart used that word, but I do not comprehend the meaning in this context." He should get Daniel in here. If he could explain the Stargate to the jarheads at the Pentagon, then he should have no problem explaining love to a child. Of course, if Daniel was at hand, Jack would probably be tempted to give a demonstration, and Merrin would know more than she ever needed to.
"Love is when you care about someone. You don't care about the risks to yourself, you want to protect them, make things easier for them."
"But Major Carter did not wish me to make things easier for her when I attempted to explain the naquadah reactor. She wanted to find the answers herself." Merrin looked sad "Does she not love me?"
Good one, Jack. "I'm sure she does. Love is more about…sharing. And she shared the reactor experience with you." So there. Jack crossed his arms over his chest. Daniel wasn't the only one who could teach.
"You shared the painting experience with me," Merrin replied, thoughtfully. "You risked a great deal to take me off base and to keep me from returning to my homeworld." She looked at him. "Do you love me, Colonel O'Neill?"
"Ah." Jack shifted. "Well. I, I mean, I don't really know you that well, but I certainly, ah, I certainly care about your wellbeing."
She gathered her papers and placed the box of crayons on top. "I wish to return home."
"Whoa, hold on there, Merrin." Jack stood up. "What about school? If you go back to Orban, you won't be able to learn that dance."
"I do not wish to return to Orban at this time," Merrin explained, patiently. "I wish to return home. With my belongings," she indicated the paper and the crayons. "And with a person who loves me."
Jack opened his mouth, then shut it again when he realized he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. Finally, he asked: "You want to come home…with me?" She nodded. "I don't think that's allowed, Merrin. Anyway, you'd be really bored." A little desperately, he went over to the cupboard. "See? There's lots of stuff to play with here." He took out the chessboard and the playing cards. "My house is boring."
"I would not find it…boring." She looked at the telephone. "If you do not wish to take a risk again, perhaps you could ask General Hammond for permission." She blinked. "Unless you do not wish me to share your home?"
Shit. She could do the puppy eyes better than Daniel, and Jack was a sucker for kids anyway. "OK, I'll phone Hammond." That way, he wasn't the bad guy. When Hammond told him Merrin had to stay here for security reasons, he could explain it wasn't his fault, maybe play a couple of games of chess with the kid, tuck her in, and go home to Daniel. The perfect plan.
Except Hammond didn't hold up his end of it. "Sounds like a fine idea, Colonel."
"What?"
"You're the one who convinced her to stay here. Seems like you should be the one to take care of her."
"But taking her off-base could be dangerous."
Hammond was unmoved. "You've already done it once. And apparently, you've promised her she can go back to school tomorrow."
"See, General, the thing about that…"
"Enjoy yourself. Dad." Then he hung up.
Shit, again. "OK, thank you, General. You too. Good night, sir," he informed the disconnected phone line, then replaced the receiver. Merrin was looking at him expectantly, her crayons and papers in her arms.
Jack sighed. "You got any other stuff?"
"These are my belongings." Of course they were.
"Come on, then."
They were halfway to his house before Jack realized she had only one set of clothes. And he didn't think his sweatpants were going to fit her.
It was nearly eight o'clock, but the mall was still open. Merrin looked around, wide-eyed, as they came in from the parking lot. She seemed particularly intrigued by the younger children riding the coin-operated carousel.
"What is that, Colonel O'Neill?"
"It's a ride."
"It has no purpose," she determined, then glanced up at him. "But it is…fun?"
"Now you're gettin' it, Merrin." Grinning, he lay a hand on her shoulder and steered her towards Junior Miss.
One good thing, Jack thought, was that Merrin wasn't big into fashion statements. "On Orban, clothing serves a purely functional purpose." Merrin stared at the racks of clothes. "Why is so much variety necessary?"
"Well, people like different stuff. Like, for example," he picked up a Winnie-the-Pooh nightgown and held it in front of his body. "Yellow's really not my colour. I'm more of a pink. Maybe," he took another nightgown, this one covered in blue rosebuds, from the rack. "A blue? What do you think?"
"I think these clothes are inappropriate for your size and gender. But you are already aware of this. Is it," she suggested, a little hesitantly, "An example of humour?"
"You know about humour?"
"Major Carter attempted to explain it to me, when she said she was 'hungry enough to eat a horse.' Teal'c was able to 'teach' the concept more comprehensibly."
"So, you learned about humour…from Teal'c?"
"Yes. I know a 'joke.' A Jaffa, an Asgard and a Nox walk into a refreshment hall…"
He cut her off. "OK, Janeane Garofalo. Just pick out some clothes and we can go home."
Merrin had chosen a nightgown, jeans and two sweaters, and was gazing with substantial interest at a child-size leather jacket that cost more than Jack had paid for his first car, when Jack heard a voice behind him.
"Jack!" Trying not to groan audibly, he turned around, a large, fake smile on his face.
"Julia." Also known as the nosy neighbour from hell. When he and Daniel had still been new at this hidden relationship thing, Daniel had parked his car on the street in front of Jack's house. Until Julia Tarrant started asking about Jack's "nice young friend who spends so much time with him" and Daniel and Jack had started commuting together. And Daniel had taken to lying on the floor of the truck until they pulled into his garage.
"Who is this lovely young lady?" She fluttered her eyelashes, falsely innocent, in Merrin's direction.
"This is Merrin," Jack replied, without hesitating. This woman could pounce on a hesitation like a smart bomb on a civilian settlement. "My niece."
"Is that so?" Julia looked at Merrin for confirmation. Which she gave right away, without so much as a glance in Jack's direction.
"Yes, I am Merrin," she confirmed. Jack smiled. It turned into more of a grimace when she continued: "I am Colonel O'Neill's niece."
"Yeah, and it's kinda past her bedtime, so if you'll excuse us, Julia…" Making sure Merrin was right behind him, he headed for the checkouts.
Unfortunately, they had to pass through Toys and Confectionery before they got there. Jack had forgotten how damn expensive kids were. By the time they finally left, Merrin was weighed down with clothes, chocolate bars, peanut butter cups, a deluxe Lego set and a big teddy bear with a red velvet bow, and Jack's wallet was a couple of hundred dollars lighter.
In the truck, as Merrin discovered the joys of Hershey, Jack said: "If you're going to be staying with me, you have to stop calling me Colonel O'Neill."
"Why? It is what the people on the base call you."
"That's on the base."
"It is different at 'home.'"
"Yeah. You can call me Jack."
"I would prefer to call you 'Uncle Jack.' I believe this is an appropriate honorific, is it not?"
"Yeah, I guess." Jack stared out the windshield, hoping she didn't notice he was blushing. "Whatever. If that's what you want, it's OK." More than OK, Jack realized, a warm feeling rising in his chest. Sappy old bastard. "Where did you learn that, anyway?"
"Major Carter suggested I use it. I told her I wished to await your permission."
Damn Carter, he thought, as he turned onto his street. She was even sappier than he was.
"Jack?" As he unlocked the front door, the first thing he saw was Daniel, lying on his couch, a book in hand and two glasses of wine on the coffee table. "What took you so long? Don't worry, I parked a couple of blocks away…" He trailed off as Merrin came in behind him, looking around in awe, like she had just stepped into the palace of Versailles.
"This is home?"
"Jack?" Daniel raised his eyebrows. Jack shrugged off his coat, handing the packages to Merrin.
"I'll be right back, Daniel. Come on, Merrin, I'll show you the spare room."
He left her there, instructing her to get changed. She was too wrapped up in opening her Lego to hear him.
When he got back to the living room, Daniel was sitting up, drinking from one of the glasses. Jack sat beside him, an arm automatically going around Daniel's shoulders. "Should I ask?" Daniel finally broke the silence.
"She wanted to come home with me."
"Hm. Who wouldn't?" Daniel smiled, leaning into Jack. "She's not going to see us, is she?" Daniel sounded vaguely concerned.
"Nah. She's in there with her new Lego."
"That you bought for her?" Jack shrugged, a little annoyed when Daniel shook his head indulgently. "You are such a softie, Jack." The annoyance subsided when Daniel leaned even closer, and Jack felt the press of lips against his neck. "Is she staying long?"
"I guess that kinda depends." Jack shifted position, letting his eyes slide closed. He was vaguely aware of Daniel putting down the glass, and a moment later, he felt two strong arms around him. They were followed by a soft, demanding mouth.
Just as Jack was getting seriously into it, a mood-killing voice said: "Uncle Jack." Daniel pulled away like Jack had suddenly developed glowing eyes and a serious personality defect. Jack, trying not to pant, adjusted his T-shirt and turned around to see Merrin in her nightgown, holding a Lego construction in her hand.
"Uncle Jack," she repeated, like he and Daniel had been doing nothing more than playing chess. "This is our home." She held out the Lego box. "As I was unable to make measurements of the outside walls, it is not accurate. The colours are also inappropriate, but I used my…imagination."
"Oh, yeah?" Jack couldn't help but grin, even as Daniel mouthed: "Uncle Jack?" "Good for you, Merrin."
Merrin looked pleased. She came around the table and placed the house on the table, beside the wineglasses. "Uncle Jack, I require sustenance."
"What? You just had a box of Hershey bars."
"You gave her chocolate for dinner?" Daniel sounded appalled.
"Yeah. Don't worry, there's plenty left for you," he soothed. Apparently, it wasn't what Daniel wanted soothing about.
"You can't give a child chocolate for dinner." He stood up huffily. "Come on, Merrin. I'll make you a grilled cheese sandwich." He led her into the kitchen.
"You can't give her cheese before bed," Jack called after them. "She'll have nightmares." He picked up the Lego house and smiled as he noticed the rooms inside. His bedroom, the spare room, the kitchen, the living room, even the bathroom. In the living room, there were two ball-headed Lego men, while a ball-headed Lego girl was in the spare bedroom.
Home was family. Jack hadn't mentioned that to Merrin, exactly, because he'd forgotten what it was like to have one. It was, he decided, as he went to join Daniel and Merrin in the kitchen, pretty sweet.
The next morning, Jack and Daniel took separate cars up to the mountain. Jack stopped by the school to drop Merrin off.
"Here we go." He pulled into the parking lot and looked over at Merrin. Her Hello Kitty backpack, containing a healthy, nutritionally balanced lunch made by Daniel, was clutched against her chest. "Hey, what's up, kid?"
"You will not stay with me today." It was a clinical statement of fact, but it made her sound about five years old. Jack swallowed hard.
"I can't, Merrin. I have to go to work."
"I have never…The majority of my time has been spent with adults and others like me. I am unsure that I will be able to establish a rapport with children."
"You did OK yesterday."
"This is…different."
"You'll be fine, honey." The word slipped out without consulting Jack's brain first, exactly the way it had the first time he'd used it on Daniel.
Merrin reacted the same way, too, looking at him like he'd lost his mind. "My name is Merrin, Uncle Jack." Jack closed his eyes for a fraction of a second, then opened them again, beaming at her.
"I know. It's an endearment." He didn't expect that to mean anything to Merrin. The Orbanians didn't seem like a mushy people.
But Merrin nodded sagely. "Like what you called Uncle Daniel last night."
Jack frowned. "What did I call Uncle Daniel?" Not "honey," that was for sure. Daniel had instituted a lifetime ban on that, along with "dear," "sweetheart," and "muffin." "Darling" was negotiable, in certain, very specific situations, none of which had occurred last night.
Merrin replied, in a clear, precise voice, like she was quoting Shakespeare: "'My God, Danny, you are one terrific fu—'"
"OK, Merrin." Jack cut her off hurriedly. "That's not something you need to repeat to anyone, all right?" She nodded. Jack frowned. "How did you hear it, anyway?" The spare bedroom was a fair distance from Jack's room, and in any case, they had been painfully quiet. Jack still had red marks where he'd bitten his hand to keep from engaging in the usual orgasmic screaming.
"My hearing has always been exceptional."
"Good to know."
"Yes." Merrin looked out the window to the playground. "I should leave now."
"Don't worry, Merrin. You'll be fine."
She hesitated again and, on a whim, Jack leaned forward and put his arms around her. She stiffened, but only for a second. "That's a hug, Merrin," he explained, when he let her go. "It means everything is going to be OK." She looked unconvinced, but she opened the door anyway. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and jumped down from the truck, heading towards the playground.
Jack watched her go. His heart seized when he saw her stop before she reached the sand. She stood, alone, holding her backpack and watching the other children. Just as Jack was about to get out and bring her back, two girls came running up to her. They each grabbed one of Merrin's arms and Merrin put up very little resistance as they dragged her over to where some other girls were practising cartwheels.
A smile crept across Jack's face as he watched Merrin put down her backpack and awkwardly try to join in. The other girls seemed happy to show her what they were doing, and Merrin was, of course, eager to learn. She was going to be fine, he told himself firmly, as he reversed out of the parking lot, narrowly missing a harried-looking mother in a minivan. Before he picked Merrin up tonight, he decided, he'd stop by the store and get her some more Lego. And a pair of earplugs.
Daniel was already at the SGC when he arrived. Jack found him huddled in his office, Teal'c and Carter by his side. "What's new, kids?"
They exchanged glances before they looked at Jack, which was Jack's first clue Something was Up.
"Kids?" Jack repeated, then picked on a specific kid. "Daniel?"
Daniel sighed. "Have a seat, Jack."
"No, that's OK." He looked between Daniel and Carter. Both of them were pretty terrible at hiding their emotions, and Jack could see it all on their faces. "It's something about Merrin, right? Hammond wants to send her back?" Son-of-a-bitch. Hammond had always supported him before, but Jack knew he wasn't on board with this. Jack didn't understand it-hell, Hammond had granddaughters himself- but he didn't care. There was no way they were taking Merrin from him.
"No. Well, he does," Carter amended. "But it's not that." She shifted her gaze to Daniel, who looked back at her. It was Teal'c who finally spoke.
"O'Neill, the stargate on Orban is unstable. We have received information from Kalan that collapse may be imminent."
"He's lying." Obviously. "There's nothing wrong with that damn gate."
"General Hammond is speaking to him right now." Daniel lay a hand on Jack's arm. He shook it off.
"Then I'll go and speak to him, too."
Carter, Teal'c and Daniel stood up in unison. "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
"It would not be advisable, O'Neill."
"Come on, Jack."
"They can't use this stupid excuse to trick us into giving her back." Jack left the room, his team close behind him. He vaguely heard Daniel and Carter wittering about why he shouldn't do this and how it would be better for everyone if he just stayed calm, but Jack ignored them. He couldn't, however, ignore the Jaffa-sized body that planted itself between him and Hammond's office door.
"Teal'c."
"O'Neill, your concern for the child is admirable, but I cannot allow you to further endanger your career."
"They suck the brains out of their children, Teal'c. You know that. You were friends with one of them."
Teal'c was unmoved. "I am also a friend of yours, O'Neill, and as such I cannot permit you to commit an action I know you will regret."
"That's none of your business. Out of the way, Teal'c." He wouldn't regret it, anyway, not if it saved Merrin.
"Jack." That was Daniel again, resting a hand more firmly on Jack's shoulder. Jack turned to tell him to mind his own business when the door opened and Hammond looked at them all, too professional to seem surprised.
"Ah. Come in."
There were only two chairs. Jack had no intention of sitting, and neither, apparently, did Teal'c. After a moment's hesitation, Daniel and Carter took the seats, and Hammond began.
"I've just finished speaking to Kalan. Their gate is in imminent danger of collapse." Jack snorted, and got a severe look from the general. "Don't start, Colonel."
"They are a very advanced culture, General. Surely they could fix it?" Carter suggested.
"I would imagine they could, Major. But they are unwilling to do so. They have decided to cease all use of the Gate, at least until they can re-evaluate their policy when it comes to dealing with other cultures."
"That's a load of…"
"They have made their decision, Colonel." Hammond snapped, giving Jack the idea that maybe he wasn't up for employee of the month right now. "Now, we need to get Merrin here so she can make hers."
"You can't emotionally blackmail a child, General."
"Would you like to fetch her, Colonel, or would you prefer I send a team?" Jack had a master's degree in psychology. He didn't advertise it much, but you needed an advanced degree in something to get promoted in the Air Force, and, as Jack told people who asked, fishing and drinking were non-credit courses even in Minnesota. This trick, however, he recognized from his stint as a parent. The illusion of choice, when in fact, there was no choice at all. He and Sara had done it countless times with Charlie.
"I'll get her."
"I'm sure I don't need to remind you of the ramifications if you choose not to follow orders, Colonel."
"No, sir." But he didn't have to give up, either.
Merrin was in class when Jack got to the school. He checked in at the office and, not walking particularly quickly, headed for the classroom, stopping to look at some kindergarten finger painting and peruse some fifth-grade essays on the way.
When he got to Mrs. Stewart's class, he knocked on the door. A boy opened it, and Jack looked in to see Merrin standing at a blackboard covered in equations while the other children, and Mrs. Stewart, looked on in awe.
"Colonel O'Neill." Mrs. Stewart sounded almost relieved to see him. "Merrin was just showing us a different way of doing long division."
"Yeah. Sorry to interrupt. I need to borrow Merrin for a little while."
"Aww." Jack couldn't help but smile at the kids' disappointment.
"Will she be back by recess?" One of the girls asked. "We have to practice our dance for the assembly."
"Alicia." Mrs. Stewart warned.
Jack smiled at the kid. "I'll do my best, Alicia. Come on, Merrin." She glanced at her audience, then lay down the chalk.
"Do I require my belongings, Uncle Jack?"
"Might be a good idea."
He waited until they got to the truck to say anything. It was his first opportunity to get a word in edgewise.
"Uncle Daniel warned me that my elevated intelligence may cause jealousy and mistrust amongst the other children, but that has not been the case. Indeed, they seem interested by my skills and were most entertained by my mathematical formulae. Although Mrs. Stewart seemed rather overwhelmed."
"I'm sure she was."
"May I have a snack, Uncle Jack? I am hungry."
"Sure. Knock yourself out. I mean," he added quickly, "Go ahead."
She reached into her lunchbox and produced a Fruit Roll-up, which she munched pleasantly as Jack took a deep breath and explained:
"Your people are closing their gate." He didn't need to explain what that meant, of course.
"I will not be able to return to Orban."
"No. But," he continued, "That's not a problem. You can stay here as long as you like."
"Your people will not be content with that."
"Of course they will be. And who cares if they're not? Daniel and I will take care of you. You can keep going to school. Maybe not this school," he admitted, "But somewhere. You'll make lots of new friends."
"I would spend my life without seeing another Orbanian."
"Yeah. But there's so much stuff we'll do. Go to hockey games, take vacations. Eat Fruit Loops in front of the Saturday morning cartoons and drive Daniel nuts." Jack could picture it perfectly, and it made perfect sense. He didn't think he'd ever find love again, then Daniel showed up. He didn't think he'd ever be a father again, then Merrin arrived. It was meant to be.
There was a long pause, broken only by the sound of Merrin eating her Fruit Roll-Up. When she'd finished, she folded the wrapper neatly and returned it to the lunchbox.
"I shall return to Orban."
"What?" Jack nearly swerved out of his lane. As it was, he was the recipient of some prolonged honking, which he countered with the time-tested finger. He pulled off at the nearest parking lot, in front of a 7-Eleven, and turned to her. "Don't worry about me, Merrin. I won't get in trouble if you say you want to stay." Which was a lie, but he could handle himself. "But they won't listen to me on this one. You have to tell them yourself that you don't want to go back."
"Uncle Jack, I do want to return."
"Merrin, honey, you might think that, but…"
"I cannot live the rest of my life isolated from my kind. I…love you and Uncle Daniel and Major Carter, but I have learned so much I need to share with the Orbanians. It is my duty."
"You're eleven. You don't have a duty."
"Uncle Jack." She reached out and put a hand on his arm, and Jack felt like he was the kid. "Please return us to the SGC."
"Maybe we should just take off." Jack thought out loud. "Go on the run."
"You would not do that," Merrin replied confidently. Jack wasn't so sure. He'd have to talk Daniel into it, of course, but Jack had already sacrificed one family in favour of his career. Surely it was time family had a chance? "You love me, do you not?"
"Yeah."
"And part of love is allowing others to make their own decisions, is it not?"
Damn. "Part of love is not letting others make serious mistakes."
"It will not be a mistake." Merrin smiled. "It will benefit the entire population of Orban."
But it wouldn't help her at all.
Hammond looked almost surprised when they walked in, like he'd been expecting to call the MPs on them. The general inclined his head towards Jack, who looked back evenly.
"Jack." Daniel appeared, relief evident on his face. For a second, Jack wondered if Daniel was going to forget himself and hug him, and if Jack would care if he did.
"O'Neill." Teal'c looked approving, but Jack wasn't in the mood. He looked down at Merrin, who had put on her backpack and taken his hand as soon as they'd left the truck.
"I wish to return to Orban, General Hammond."
Hammond sighed. "You know, Merrin, if you wanted to stay…"
"I have made my decision, General." She let go of Jack's hand and hesitated a moment. Then, uncertainly, as if she was performing an unfamiliar ritual and was worried about doing it wrong, she stepped forward to hug Daniel, who looked more than a little surprised. She moved on to Carter, who smiled sadly as she hugged Merrin back. She then returned to Jack, slipping her hand back into his. "If you could please take me to the Stargate."
It was the longest walk of his life. Jack couldn't help but be reminded of the night they'd lost Charlie, when he'd been pacing the halls of the hospital, hoping that things wouldn't turn out the way he knew they were going to.
When they arrived, he thought about making a final plea. She was too young to make this kind of decision, to be faced with these choices. Someone needed to protect her. He needed to protect her.
"Do not be unhappy, Uncle Jack." She smiled.
"It's kind of hard, Merrin."
She glanced at Hammond and the SFs, then moved off to one side. The SFs were about to follow, but Hammond waved them down, leaving Jack and Merrin within clear view, but out of earshot if they spoke quietly, as Merrin did. "Uncle Daniel informs me you desire a child to care for."
"Daniel told you that?"
"He wished me to understand how your people view children." She hesitated, then went on: "He told me that the responsibility of a parent is to instruct their children about love and happiness."
"That's right."
"You gave me that knowledge. By returning to Orban, I will be sharing it with my people. Instead of having merely one child, you will have many thousands."
Jack felt a lump come to his throat and coughed to clear it. They weren't that far away from the SFs, and he did have a reputation to maintain. "Merrin…"
"Thank you, Uncle Jack." She reached up and hugged him tightly. Then, holding the Hello Kitty backpack, she climbed the stairs to the Gate. At the top, she turned and looked at Jack for a moment. She didn't wave and, a second later, she was gone.
Even Daniel left him alone for the rest of the day, which Jack appreciated. As soon as he got home, though, just as he was sitting down with a beer and a license to feel sorry for himself, there was a knock on the door.
He considered ignoring it. Seriously. But he knew Daniel well enough to know that he wouldn't go away, and, much as Julia Tarrant would enjoy it, they didn't need to have a scene in the street.
He got up and unlocked the door, then went back to his seat. Daniel let himself in. Jack was dimly aware of him taking off his coat, then descending into the sunken living room to sit across from him.
They sat in silence for a long time, Jack drinking and Daniel watching. Finally, Jack said:
"If you're going to sit there, you may as well get yourself something to drink."
"I'm OK."
"Suit yourself." They lapsed into silence again. This time, it was broken by Daniel.
"She's eleven, Jack, but she's not a child by any stretch of the imagination. She made an informed decision. We had to respect it."
"That's not the point." The point was that there was a girl, and being intelligent didn't make her any less of a child, who had given up her life for a bunch of strangers, and Jack hadn't been able to stop it. He saved the fucking world time and time again, but when it came to saving people he cared about, kids, especially, he was completely fucking useless.
"It's about Charlie." Daniel wasn't asking a question, which irritated Jack intensely.
"No, it's about life being about as unfair as it's possible to get."
"This isn't like that, Jack," Daniel continued. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but Merrin's sacrifice wasn't pointless. You taught her so much, and she shared that with the Orbanians. If we ever go back there," not that that was likely, "I'm sure we'll see a big difference. Small comfort, I know, but at least it's something. More than you had with Charlie." Daniel blinked and, obviously thinking Jack was unconvinced, added: "No one got anything out of his death."
"I met you." Something which might have happened even if Charlie had lived, but Jack knew he and Daniel wouldn't have become nearly so close. Not even if he and Sara had still divorced, something which, eventually, Jack had accepted as an event hurried along but not uniquely caused by Charlie's death.
His relationship with Daniel had its roots in mutual grief, which was the reason, Jack realized, he and Daniel understood each other so well when things like this happened to one or both of them. Which they seemed to do depressingly often.
"Hardly comparable, Jack."
"I don't know about that." Jack would have liked for Charlie to know Daniel, even though he knew he wouldn't have been so close to Daniel if Charlie had survived. Fucking paradoxes.
Daniel looked stunned, and for a minute, Jack wondered if it hadn't sounded the way he'd meant it to. Then Daniel swallowed and said: "I wish I could help you more."
"You help me plenty, Daniel." He smiled a little, just to reassure Daniel. Daniel relaxed a little, so Jack figured it had worked. He drained the last of his beer and set the bottle on the table, next to Merrin's Lego house. "I was thinking of stopping by the school sometime. You know, spending some time with the kids, helping Mrs. Stewart out a little. If we ever get a day off." He looked at Daniel. "Wanna come?"
"Sure."
"Good." Jack stood up, placed the Lego house on the mantelpiece, next to an old carriage clock of his grandmother's and some creepy carved figurine of Daniel's, then headed for the kitchen.