Letting Go ~ Part 4

Author: Karri (aka Bradley)

Rating: PG, and DJ (of course)

Summary: Dawson learns a startling truth from Pacey. How will it affect his feelings for Jen and Samuel? (My apologies to those of you with Pacey issues. He plays an important part in the story, but you won't see alot of him...promise!).

Part IV, "Letting Go" Dawson caught the screen door with his foot so it wouldn't slam behind him, and walked towards Pacey, balancing a cup of coffee in each hand. He stood silently next to him, not really sure what to say. He had lost touch with Pacey, more by design than anything. Dawson simply was too hurt to ever want to repair their former friendship. But that didn't mean Pacey wasn't as agonized now as they all were. "Here," he said, handing Pacey a cup. "Thanks," Pacey responded, his tone as flat and expressionless as his face.
"My dad called me this morning with the news. I was working down at the docks." Dawson watched him carefully. Pacey's eyes had a somewhat hollow look to them, not really focusing on much of anything. He was obviously devastated. Dawson searched for the right words. "Mom called Joey and I this morning. I don't think either one of us has accepted what happened, and I'm not sure when we will. But at least we can all be here together." His words sounded shallow even to himself, and he nervously took a sip of coffee. "Samuel is my son, you know." Dawson choked on his coffee, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He wasn't sure he had just heard Pacey correctly. He and Joey had often talked about Jen, about the strength she had shown when she decided to be a single mother. They watched as Jen devoted herself to her son, and had wondered aloud about the man who was Samuel's real father. Never did Dawson think it was Pacey. And Jen had never said a word. He stared at Pacey as his eyes shifted away from him. "Jen never said anything, and wanted to do it on her own. So I agreed. I gave her money now and then, but that was it. That was all she ever wanted." The only emotion Dawson could pinpoint was shock. He and Joey had talked about a family of their own, what kind of parents they wanted to be. That was why they decided to wait until everything in their life was just right. Pacey continued. "And now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react, what I should do with Samuel." Without knowing what else to say, he reached out to Pacey's arm. "C'mon inside. My mom is fixing dinner, and I know Joey wants to say hello." As they walked towards the house, Dawson realized that, while all of his childhood and adult memories had involved Joey, most of them had also been with Pacey. The last of them were unpleasant, but, as he and Joey rediscovered each other, Dawson realized that none of that was important. The trials of their past had only further shaped Joey as the woman he loved, his wife, his best friend. As the first light drops of rain began to fall, Dawson could only look at Pacey blankly, still trying to process the information he had just shared. Behind them, the sky grew increasingly dark and the creek became restless. He could almost feel the electricity in the air. "Pacey." The two stopped by the stairs, and Dawson grabbed onto his arm. "Pacey, I'm not going to say anything about what you told me. Even to Jo." Now, that was easier said than done, he knew, as he had always told Joey everything, but not this. If Pacey wanted to announce it, so be it, but he was honoring what he knew were Jen's wishes. His mother appeared at the screen door. "Get inside, you two. I think the rain is serious this time. Joey and I have dinner ready." Dawson watched as Pacey greeted his mother and Mitch, and gave Joey a brief hug. For a long time, seeing the two of them together never failed to resurrect a remnant of the pain of the past. But, now. Now, it seemed so long ago and so unimportant. Joey walked over to him, brushing his wet hair away from his eyes and smiling gratefully. "Thank you for bringing him in." They held hands, Joey leaning lightly on his shoulder as the cool breeze blew in from the open door as the rain fell steadily. They watched as Pacey walked over to Samuel, Dawson seeing elements to their interaction he had never been fully aware of before. How could he not have seen the resemblance to Pacey? He had always been struck by Samuel's blond hair, his blue eyes just like his mother. How could he have missed the stubborn tilt of his chin, the gleam in his eyes? As they all began the process of acceptance, of understanding what had taken Jen from them, it was Pacey who had the longest journey to make. Dawson kissed Joey on the head, breathing in the familiar scent of her, and closed his eyes for a moment, so blessed that she was in his life. "I'm glad you are here," he offered softly, holding tightly to her hand as they walked into the kitchen. 1 2 3 4 5 6

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