Author: Karri (aka Bradley)
Rating: PG, and DJ (of course)
Summary: Dawson learns a startling truth from Pacey. How will it affect his
feelings for Jen and Samuel? (My apologies to those of you with Pacey
issues. He plays an important part in the story, but you won't see alot of
him...promise!).
Part IV, "Letting Go"
Dawson caught the screen door with his foot so it wouldn't slam behind him,
and walked towards Pacey, balancing a cup of coffee in each hand. He stood
silently next to him, not really sure what to say. He had lost touch with
Pacey, more by design than anything. Dawson simply was too hurt to ever
want to repair their former friendship. But that didn't mean Pacey wasn't
as agonized now as they all were. "Here," he said, handing Pacey a cup.
"Thanks," Pacey responded, his tone as flat and expressionless as his face.
"My dad called me this morning with the news. I was working down at the
docks." Dawson watched him carefully. Pacey's eyes had a somewhat hollow
look to them, not really focusing on much of anything. He was obviously
devastated. Dawson searched for the right words. "Mom called Joey and I
this morning. I don't think either one of us has accepted what happened,
and I'm not sure when we will. But at least we can all be here together."
His words sounded shallow even to himself, and he nervously took a sip of
coffee.
"Samuel is my son, you know." Dawson choked on his coffee, wiping his mouth
with the back of his hand. He wasn't sure he had just heard Pacey
correctly. He and Joey had often talked about Jen, about the strength she
had shown when she decided to be a single mother. They watched as Jen
devoted herself to her son, and had wondered aloud about the man who was
Samuel's real father. Never did Dawson think it was Pacey. And Jen had
never said a word.
He stared at Pacey as his eyes shifted away from him. "Jen never said
anything, and wanted to do it on her own. So I agreed. I gave her money now
and then, but that was it. That was all she ever wanted." The only emotion
Dawson could pinpoint was shock. He and Joey had talked about a family of
their own, what kind of parents they wanted to be. That was why they
decided to wait until everything in their life was just right. Pacey
continued. "And now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to react,
what I should do with Samuel."
Without knowing what else to say, he reached out to Pacey's arm. "C'mon
inside. My mom is fixing dinner, and I know Joey wants to say hello." As
they walked towards the house, Dawson realized that, while all of his
childhood and adult memories had involved Joey, most of them had also been
with Pacey. The last of them were unpleasant, but, as he and Joey
rediscovered each other, Dawson realized that none of that was important.
The trials of their past had only further shaped Joey as the woman he
loved, his wife, his best friend.
As the first light drops of rain began to fall, Dawson could only look at
Pacey blankly, still trying to process the information he had just shared.
Behind them, the sky grew increasingly dark and the creek became restless.
He could almost feel the electricity in the air. "Pacey." The two stopped
by the stairs, and Dawson grabbed onto his arm. "Pacey, I'm not going to
say anything about what you told me. Even to Jo." Now, that was easier said
than done, he knew, as he had always told Joey everything, but not this. If
Pacey wanted to announce it, so be it, but he was honoring what he knew
were Jen's wishes.
His mother appeared at the screen door. "Get inside, you two. I think the
rain is serious this time. Joey and I have dinner ready." Dawson watched as
Pacey greeted his mother and Mitch, and gave Joey a brief hug. For a long
time, seeing the two of them together never failed to resurrect a remnant
of the pain of the past. But, now. Now, it seemed so long ago and so
unimportant. Joey walked over to him, brushing his wet hair away from his
eyes and smiling gratefully. "Thank you for bringing him in."
They held hands, Joey leaning lightly on his shoulder as the cool breeze
blew in from the open door as the rain fell steadily. They watched as Pacey
walked over to Samuel, Dawson seeing elements to their interaction he had
never been fully aware of before. How could he not have seen the
resemblance to Pacey? He had always been struck by Samuel's blond hair, his
blue eyes just like his mother. How could he have missed the stubborn tilt
of his chin, the gleam in his eyes?
As they all began the process of acceptance, of understanding what had
taken Jen from them, it was Pacey who had the longest journey to make.
Dawson kissed Joey on the head, breathing in the familiar scent of her, and
closed his eyes for a moment, so blessed that she was in his life. "I'm
glad you are here," he offered softly, holding tightly to her hand as they
walked into the kitchen.
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