[from The Radio Times, 1/9/99]

Ok, she's a 35-year-old blonde actress who plays Phoebe, the ditzy, aspiring but tuneless folk singer with a new-age pretensions in one of the world's most popular sitcoms but when she studied biology at the prestigious east-coast college, Vassar, she had only one ambition: to meet a bright, rich man. "That's how spuerficial I was," she sighs. "The whole point was to marry good merchandise, so we could have genetically appropriate children. I thought everything was figured and mapped out, that my husband would be intellectually superior to ma and sucsessful so I could pursue whatever career I wanted. A lot of women go about their lives like that."

So what happened? "Well," she says, playing with her hair and smiling to reveal traditionally impeccable Hollywood orthadontistry, "I went into acting." Not that she wanted to at first. She planned to follow her father, Lee, a renowned headache specialist, into medicine. "Actors seemed idiots and so phoney. I'd seen them on talk shows discussing theirtroubled personal lives. Of course, we all have problems tosome extent - no one is living in a fifties sitcom - but actors examine them more. I assumed they were dumb and the profession might change me into someone who isn't the best parent or spouse." But after joining an improvisation company in Los Angeles, the Groundlings, her views changed. "I realised everything has value and finally asked myself the question, 'Why?' which puts life into perspective. 'Why does my husband hane to be intellectually superior? What if I just love him, you know.' " Reasonable enough. Then what? "Oh, I married a man who is intellectually superior to me. The things you want come to you anyway." And they have a son, Julian, born last May (her pregnancy was explaned in Friends by making her a surrogate mother for her brother and his wife). This, so far, is a happy-ever-after story.

Now she is bursting again from the mould of sitcoms into a film, The Opposite of Sex, in which she plays Lucia, the sexually repressed sister of a dead gay man who befriends and tries to protect her brother's wealthy lover, Bill (Martin Donovan). "Lucia would hate Phoebe. She's entirely different, which is great, but a double-edged sword. You're not sure the publc will accept you as someone else. I've done it myself, got used to someone in a certainpart, and when I see them in a new role I look to see where that other person is - which distracts from what they're trying toaccomplist. But I enjoyed playing an uptight woman. I know that feels. I used to be like that."

She started life in Tarzana, a suburb of Los Angeles that sends "Valley girls", a disparaging roughly equivalent to "Essex girls", clickety clicking, gimlet-eyed on to the marriage and career circuit. "They don't use vowels when they speak and are very judgemental and condescending: 'Oh my God, that's so stupid.' I grew up in a Jap-y [Jewish American princess} environment. I like room service. Is there anything sexier and more fun?"

Although her mother was travel agent who could arrange good deals on hotels, she didn;t take advantage and indulge in exciting trysts because she was, she says, usually prim. "I was uptight and stand-offish. It was my way of trying to control life and my world. I was a thoousand times more conservative than my parents - their battle cry was 'lighten up'. I didn't because I was terrified of being wrong, at any time, over anything. Even in higha school, hanging around kids doing something dangerous made me nervous because I couldn't bear the idea that I had only myself to blame. I'd lecture everyone: 'Why are you getting into a car when the driver's had two beers?' 'Why are you smoking?' Even my dad became irritated with me. He was, like, 'Why don't you sneak around like other teenagers?' He thought I was weird and too hard on myself." She helped him with research, but in spite of such inside knowledge never resorted to the "headache" excuse with men. Too honest. She'd say "I had no intention of sleeping with you, so I won't."

In her twenties, therapy was useful ("I learned you can make a mistake and the world doesn't come to and end"), but it was the magic of hair colouring that finally caused an evanescent awakening. She went blonde, gradually, one summer. "That really helped. Being blonde lightens your personality. People's attitudes change. I was treated like a little girl and flirted with more, which I enjoyed. Possibly they thought I was dumb. I assumed blondes were dumb, too. There are a lot of preudices we should try to overcome. We've got to stop thinking that if someone isn' t the same as us they must be wrong."

She enjoyed studying biology at Vassar, about half an hour's drive >from New York, but felt out of place among the preppy east-coast debs."I was so happy to be there I couldn't stop smiling. They thought I was kind of an idiot." Naturally she studied hard - eight hours a day on calculus - and learnt to be non-judgemental. "Scientific methods mean you're not allowed to judge your results.You just report them and they are what they are, neither good nor bad." After graduating in 1985 she saw a childhood friend of her brother on Saturday Night Live, and thought if he could do it, she could. Acting class was less successful than the Groundlings. "It looked more like a cult to me, with the teacher as guru. There's a lot of pretension in acting. It's emotional, not intellectual, so it's hard to discuss.You have to learn to cope with reality and you need a very strong mind-set not to take rejection so personally it paralyses you."

There was some rejection, but then came Friends, and immense success. "I realise I should be surprised, but I'm not. You know when you're on a roller coaster and you're just holding on, anxious and excited to see where it goes? Friends had an influence, as any trend does for a time - haircuts, internet chat, involvement with the characters - but people no longer try to analyse. It's there for entertainment and that's it. People like to have something to talk about at work or in school, but they don't let Friends replace their social life."

Originally she' d have preferred to play either of the other girls. "I thought it would be more interesting to be Rachel [Jennifer Aniston] concerned with superficial things and kind of materialistic. I'm not materialistic, but I could be. Or Monica [Courteney Cox], who has a good sense of humour. So when I auditioned for Phoebe my agent asked if I could be one of them. The producers laughed and said, 'No,' because they'd seen me do those 'out there' girls. I like Phoebe and some of the best parts of me are in her. She gets frustrated, but overall seems desperately clinging to a cheery attitude. I strive to take an optimistic view . Sure I get insecure and worried, but you begin to understand what's important and that most of the things that bothered you when young aren't worth the stress. Sometimes when l' m playing Phoebe properly I do become her, and think, 'I know how that feels.' But when the camera's off - that's it."

Friends is now in its fifth season, and they are committed to a sixth, assuming, it is said, the six main actors, who insist on being paid the same, can double their $lOO,OOO-per-show salaries. "0K, it's an outrageous amount, but I remind myself the studios wouldn't pay so much if they couldn't well afford to." The actors are chums in real life, she insists. "Most of those who've been working together for a long time don't get on after a while. They're competitive, and as everyone's careers take them to different places people begrudge them. We don't, and we're also an ensemble. We're not allowed even to think one of us is better than anyone else.

"I don't know how long it can continue; that depends on the writing. Some weeks the script isn't in as good a shape at the beginning as the end. It's stressful because you wonder if it's going to get better and think, 'How can I help? Am I making it worse and confusing the issue?' It will be weird when it ends, and I don't know what to expect, but it's always going to be part of me, for better or worse. It's changed my life, but not too much. I'm still with the same man."

She met her French husband, Michel Stern, who is in advertising, in 1987 when he was the boyfriend of her roommate. "He'd pick her up and I thought, 'Just perfect, but unavailable.' I didn't look at him or talk. He thought I was cute but odd, and then I met him again by chance five years ago at a picnic. He hates Paris, which is sad. l' d like to spend time there with him, but we fly in, have dinner, sleep over and move on."

She worried she might not work after Julian was born. "I have friends who gave up after they had a child, and then I realised they weren't passionate about what they were doing. I still love it and three weeks after I had Julian I filmed a small part in Analyse This with Robert De Niro and Billy Crystal. How could I turn that down? I felt guilty taking my three week-old baby on a plane to New York so Mommy can do a movie, but soon realised it doesn't matter. I'm seeing him, and the only time he's unhappy is when I'm feeling guilty. It interferes with our communication. They pick up on anything. I'd like to have more children, and there'll obviously be compromises. I'll have to work in LA; I can't see myself going off to Bulgaria to make a film, especially if it's during school term."

The many tyrannies of fame seem to have passed her by and she copes with gawpers by pretending they don't exist. "I live in denial. I don't make eye contact with anyone, so I'm not aware of staring. They have to come up and tap me on the shoulder to get my attention. I've had more notice taken of me when I walk down the street with a bodyguard or escort. We're given a lot of privileges and some actors let it get out of hand. They become irresponsible and self-important. When you're working, you're waited on hand and foot, and the attitude is, ']ust make sure she's happy.' That's fine if you can keep it where it belongs. But it does not belong at home. My husband isn't bothered he earns less than me. He couldn't possibly. Actors earn a lot. Sometimes I feel guilty I don't need more than one car it's a good one, but I'd rather not say what make. Financial security is important to me - a lot of marriages are in trouble because of lack of money - so I'm grateful I don't have to worry about that right now . I say right now because nothing lasts for ever The greatest part of having money is being able to make the lives of those around you a little easier. That's joyous rather than embarrassing."

The 0pposite of Sex deals with sexual complications caused by a teenage girl [Christina Ricci] who runs away from home to live with Bill and lures his new boyfriend into a relationship. It's all very nineties. "I don't know if men and women are confused about sexuality. Young people experiment, and in the late eighties they decided it was 0K to question sexual orientation. A lot of girls at Vassar seemed to be gay, but then they found a guy, fell in love, and married.I thought, 'Oh, yeah, it's just so cutting edge to be a lesbian.' I assumed it was another big-city affectation. Did I ever do that? No. Remember I was growing up in a Myrna Loy movie.We're coming out of any confusion over sexuality. I encounter a lot of men who are comfortable with women in positions of power.

"The games the sexes play will always be the same, though. Men are more commitment-phobic, which is a pity because if you commit it will be over sooner." Sounds like toothache, I say. "It's true, though. If you commit you'll know sooner if something is working. It's practical common sense. What's changed is when a woman says something she is heard as an equal, rather than, 'Oh, not bad, for a girl' even if she is blonde and an actress. So that's 0K"