About two years later --
Lucky woke up early and went outside for a walk. This became a routine for him for the past two years, ever since his father left town. He walked to the club, which remained the same since his mother took over. He was really impressed that she could run a club as well as his father. He then walked over to Kelly's and looked through the window to see Tammy getting ready to feed the morning rush. He found himself at the docks next, standing where his father stood many times when he needed to think. 'If he'd only be standing here now,' Lucky thought.
After an hour of walking, Lucky returned home to be greeted by his family, minus the person he continued to look for every day. Today was his graduation day, and he knew he didn't have much time before he had to get ready for it. He went upstairs to his room to get ready when he heard a knock on his door. "Come in."
Laura walked in and took a seat at Lucky's bed. She felt today was the day that maybe she could bring some peace to her son. She had waited almost two years to give him something that would hopefully take away the guilt he carried with him now. "I wanted to give you this," she said, as she handed Lucky an envelope.
Lucky took it and stared at the handwriting on it. It was his father's handwriting. "What is it?" he asked.
"Your father sent this along with the papers to the club and a letter he sent me on the day he left. He wrote it to you and wanted me to give it to you when I felt you were ready. I'm sorry it took so long, but I was scared of how you'd react."
"Why give it to me today?" Lucky asked quietly.
"Today is the beginning of a whole new life for you. Maybe this will help you put some things in the past. I know you've felt guilty for your father's departure, and maybe this will help you leave your guilt behind."
"How can't I feel guilty, Mom? If I hadn't ambushed him every time I saw him, he'd still be here. You'd still have your husband, Lulu would have gotten a chance to know her father, and I would still have him to help me all those times that I find myself in trouble. He left thinking I didn't love him anymore. If only I had gotten to the club sooner that day... maybe even just 10 minutes sooner..."
"It's not your fault, Lucky. And your father never thought you stopped loving him. He knows, wherever he is, he knows you love him, and I know he loves you," Laura said, as she wiped her son's tears from his face. "He did what he thought was best for us. His family is the most important thing to him, and he thought we would be happier if he left."
"If he would have only known..." Lucky whispered.
Laura stood up and said, "I'll leave you alone. Read it whenever you feel you're ready."
Laura left Lucky alone with the envelope. He continued to stare at it, touching his name on the envelope. It was the closest he was to his father now... to touch something he wrote. "Am I ready?" he asked himself, but he knew he'd have to read it to find out. He tucked it away so he could read it once the graduation ceremony was over.
Laura went into her bedroom and picked up the picture of Luke she kept next to her bed every night. She held it close to her heart and said, "Please, Luke. Please get through to him in your letter. You've always been the only one who could really get through to him, so please say you pulled off your magic one last time for our son."
Laura started crying as she attempted to get the words "I love you," out of her mouth, but the crying had become uncontrollable. Just across the hall, Lucky heard his mother's cries, knowing exactly why. Like him, she had never gotten over his father leaving.
Lucky stared at the sky during the entire graduation. All he could think about was the letter his father had written. He did manage to steal a few glances at Elizabeth, who was only sitting a couple of rows away from him. She was so happy and beautiful... all the pain of two years ago vanished. Every time he looked at her, he could hear his parents tell him that she would get past it. And she was completely past it now. He knew she would never forget it, but like his mother, she wouldn't leave it any room in her life. Why couldn't he have seen it before it was too late.
Lucky was so involved in his thoughts, he never heard the principal call out his name when he received his diploma, or the group of people that were cheering for him. He only snapped out of it slightly by the time they threw up their caps and Elizabeth had come over to him and given him a hug.
"We did it!" she screamed.
"Yeah, we did it," Lucky said, less enthusiastically.
"Lucky, what's wrong? You seem to be in your own universe today."
"There's just something I have to do, Elizabeth. Can you tell my mom that I'm going to read it now and I'll see her at the club afterwards?"
"Sure thing, Lucky. Are you sure there's nothing you want to talk about?" Elizabeth was getting worried about him.
"I'll fill you in on it later. I'll pick you up in an hour so we can head to the club. According to Lulu, Mom went out of her way to make this a celebration I will never forget."
Elizabeth gave Lucky a kiss on the cheek and went over to the Spencers before she drove home to change and freshen up a little. Lucky watched her tell his mother and she nodded in understanding, taking Lulu and his grandmother with her, passing the rest of the family on the way to tell them that Lucky would see them later.
Lucky waited until everyone left before he found a tree to sit under. He slowly took out the envelope and carefully opened it. Once it was open, he gathered up all his strength, hoping he wouldn't break down like a little kid once he was finished reading.
Cowboy,
It feels like it's been forever since I called you that and you responded with joy. I guess you're not my cowboy anymore. I know you're not. I've definitely seen you grow into your own man, and I couldn't be prouder of you. I have no idea how a man like me could have ever had a son like you, but there won't be a day that goes by that I don't think how lucky I am to have had you in my life. You're my hero, and maybe someday when I grow up, I can be something like you.
I want to let you know that my leaving had nothing to do with you. It's not your fault, so please, don't carry the weight of guilt on your shoulders. I know how guilt can destroy a man, and I hope that you never have to endure that in your life. I left because of me. I needed to find myself, find out exactly the kind of man I am. I sit here writing this letter and realize that I have absolutely no idea who I am. Am I a rapist? Am I a small-time street thug? Am I a family man? Am I a club owner? Or is there something I am that I've been hiding from this entire time? I guess the answer I'm looking for most of all is if I'm a good guy or a bad guy.
Lucky, always know that I love you with all of my heart. I love you more than any father could ever love a child. You and your sister are the greatest gifts life had to offer me, and no matter where life leads me, I will never forget about you. And I do know that you love me too. I leave knowing you're angry at something I was capable of doing, but I know that it didn't stop you from loving me. Please, son, if I had taught you anything in your life, let it be that you are only responsible for your own actions, and not that of others. End any guilt you may be feeling and live your life to its fullest. Accomplish the things that I was incapable of doing myself. Be more than the sum of your parts.
Just one more thing, son. Please look after your mother for me. She's a fighter, and I know she'll move through this with grace and dignity, but deep down, she's very emotional too. Help her through the rough spots.
Love ya, Luck.
Luke
Lucky tried to control his tears, but it was too late. They had started to fall and were impossible to stop. He closed up the letter and stuck it in his shirt pocket, tapping it against his heart. This was the closest he had gotten to his father in two years, and he wasn't going to ignore it this time. He heard his father's words in his head, picked himself, and headed for his car. He stopped part of the way to look back at that tree, and said, "You've taught me more than you'll ever know, Dad. I'll always love you too."
In the bushes, a man is found crying as he watched the young man get into his car and drive away.
