TITLE: Ain't It Funny.

AUTHOR: Kelly Rowe

RATING: PG-15

DISCLAIMER: Buffy, Angel and all other characters (except those I make up) are the absolute property of Joss Whedon, Fox, Mutant Enemy, UPN and Warner Bros (If I owned them, do you think that they would be acting this ridiculous right now).

SUMMARY: Buffy is an FBI agent and is sent undercover to Sunnydale, years after leaving it.

SPOILERS: BTVS season 1 and 2. Some minor spoilers for other seasons and ATS.

TIMELINE: Approximately 2008.

DISTRIBUTION: You want you can have it; just tell me where you put it. Any lists just take it.

PAIRING: Buffy/Angel, Giles/Jenny, Xander/Anya, Faith/Angel (slight)

CATEGORY: AU, Action and Romance.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Buffy moved away from Sunnydale the day before her 17th birthday (her dad gained custody) and has had limited contact with the other Scoobies (namely Willow) since then.

AUTHOR'S NOTES 2: For the purposes of this story, Caritas is located in Sunnydale and is located where Willie's bar used to be.

Part 1

It was such a pleasant morning out that Buffy Summers came to a decision to walk to work, being unattached and living by herself had its compensations, because it had allowed her to choose a small courtyard apartment not far from the J. Edgar Hoover building where her desk was housed – along with several hundred others.

She had no necessity to hasten and she merely took her time enjoying the alteration in landscape colour as summer faded into fall. She momentarily wondered what her sister was up to as she strolled along, but was soon sidetracked by her cell phone ringing.

Answering it she found her FBI partner and best friend, Dave Maxwell was on the phone warning her to hurry up and get to work because the Assistant Director was looking for her. Having already pissed AD Parks off numerous times in the past week she decided to do her predictable thing and amble on and make him wait for her.

"Hey Summers," Dave Maxwell, Buffy's best friend and partner yelled across the crowded office as she walked inside a good half hour later. "AD Parks wants to see you *right now*."

Buffy ignored him and went to her desk and sat down like she did not have a care in the world; picking up one of the crime reports that she had left there the day before. After a minute Dave joined her at her desk and she recognized he was tremendously disconcerted by her behaviour, due to his bouncing from one leg to the other. With a sigh she got up and followed him down the maze of passageways that led to the Assistant Director’s Office.

 She'd only been in Parks' office a small number of times – he more often than not chose to bellow at her during meetings or at her desk - and then only because she'd brought about some considerable tribulation or broken one of the FBI's fundamental regulations. Although she was considered a nuisance by countless, she had not done it as frequently as some would presume.

“I haven't done anything... have I?" she asked her friends as she walked behind him, endeavouring to reflect on what she had been up to over the past few days and coming up empty, having been virtually too well behaved.

Dave slowed his stride so that he could walk next to her, making an effort not to smile at her cavalier attitude. "Not that I know of," he replied, "But then again with you around... anything is possible."

"You know something, don’t you?" she demanded. "Tell me what in the blue hell is going on?"

"No way," he told her sincerely, the smile substituted with a grimace. "I'm letting Parks have the privilege of doing that." He moved away walking back towards the main office and his desk, at the last moment looking back over his shoulder he winked at her - right before he erupted in laughter.

Buffy watched him and speculated about just what Dave had thought was so darn humorous, and why she had the unexpected impulse to pound his haughty head in over something she knew nothing about. Needing to know what was going on before she died of curiosity; she knocked on the AD’s door.

"Come in," came a muffled voice through the door.

Buffy entered the office tentatively and asked submissively, "You wanted to see me sir?"

"Certainly Agent Summers. Please take a seat," AD Parks replied smiling. She was already apprehensive the man never smiled, of course if she had his personality and was reviled by all her subordinates she’d almost certainly be a malicious piece of work too.  After she was seated he continued, "I have an undercover assignment for you and Agent Maxwell."

At least Buffy now knew why Dave had been amused; she loathed undercover assignments with a furore, more than ever after the most recent one she had been on. She was curious though, why he had been told before her about the assignment. Surely it wasn't because of the incident?

"Sir..." she began leisurely, making an effort for once to use some diplomacy.  "I do have one question before we begin."

Parks nodded to her, "Go ahead."

"Why was Agent Maxwell told before me? Isn't it procedure to discuss it with both of us at the same time?"

"Agent Maxwell requested it be done this way," Parks answered trying not to smile at her.

Buffy shook her head, "Slam a guy into a wall onetime..."

"*Into* being the operative word" Parks said recalling the incident clearly, until then he had thought that reports of Buffy's strength were exaggerated. "It took us nearly an hour to pry him out of the wall."

"The big baby was fine and it's not like I plan on doing it to him a second time," Buffy pouted. "That is unless of course this mission will necessitate me to pretend to be Mrs. Maxwell again."

"It doesn't," Parks assured her quickly, not wanting a repeat of last time. "In fact you'll be posing as a college student."

Buffy was unquestionably bewildered, "If it wasn't my responsibility in the op that worried him, what was it?"

"The location of the operation."

"Huh?"

"You'll be attending classes at the University of California at Sunnydale. Both Agent Maxwell and the Bureau know of your – uh - history with the area and if you wish not too..."

"I'll go," she said hastily, astounding herself when the words came out of her own mouth.

Before Buffy had an opportunity to renege on her agreement, Parks was on the intercom. "Josie," he said to his secretary. "Would you bring in Agent Maxwell, please?"

While they waited Buffy deliberated on the subject of what she had just consented to do and psychologically berated herself for her colossal lack of common sense. Returning to Sunnydale after all this time was foolish, in particular after all the pain that the town had caused her. Her mother pretending that she and Dawn didn't continue living after her father had gained custody of them, her supposed friend's who had scarcely written and made excuses not to take her calls and then there was Angel... she didn't even want to think about him, because he was the one who'd damaged her heart the most.

When Dave at long last walked in and sat down next to her, Parks handed them each a case folder. "Over the preceding two months there have been at least eight murders on the UC Sunnydale campus. All of the victims have particular things in common; they are all female, students and live in Stevenson Hall. They are all are short, with and athletic build, dark hair and were introverted... not too many friends," Parks told them as they opened the folders and scrutinized the crime scene photos.

"As you can tell there wasn't much left for the coroner to examine and the local officials are stumped. That's where you two come in," Parks paused momentarily. "Buffy will go undercover as a student and Dave will be the Bureau's contact with the locals. That also means covert communications between the two of you... I don't want the locals to think we're commandeering their authority and also we need to keep Buffy's cover a secret. Are the condition's okay?"

"Yes Sir," they chorused.

"You leave tonight Buffy," Parks told her in his no nonsense voice. "Dave will arrive tomorrow. All information you both need are in the folder. Any questions?" When there was only silence he continued with, "Dismissed."

She wasn’t certain what she was doing, for the previous hour she had stood at the bottom of her bed and stared alternatively between her walk-in wardrobe and her designer suitcase. She didn’t have a sole item of clothing a college kid would wear, hell when she had been in college she hadn’t had a single item of clothing a college kid would wear. All of her garments since she had come to Washington at the age of seventeen had been geared for comfort while slaying, and also now professional stuff for work.

A thump at her door sidetracked her and she answered it thinking it would be her sister geared up for house-sitting, but it was Dave and an outsized bag. Letting him in, she watched him strain for a short time before she took felt sorry for on him and grabbed the bag from his grip, without difficulty swinging it up and onto the sofa.

 “I really hate that you can do that,” he wheezed at her seeking to catch his breath.

She smirked, “Well... it’s not like it’s my responsibility you are a weenie. Tell me again why Missy picked up with you?”

Dave smiled back, “Hey, she’s your friend.”

Paying no attention to him she looked inquisitively at his bag, “What’s that?”

 “That is from AD Parks to you,” he replied. “It’s what he wants you to be dressed in on the mission. All I can say is please don’t shoot or kick the ass of the messenger.”

Buffy opened the bag and looked inside, “Could be worse. At least from the looks of it he just wants me to conduct myself like the victims and not to seduce my professors.”

 “I don’t know, Buff,” Dave said. “Special Agent Nun might benefit from seducing a professor or two.”

 “Dave!”

 “What? It’s not healthy to be your age and not date,” he told her. “In particular when you are not so offensively unpleasant looking for an old maid.”

She shook her head, “People more often than not don’t live very long after say things like that to me.”

He made her look at him, “I worry about you, Buffy. You’ve been my partner and best friend for years and I don’t want to see you end up all alone. Whatever or whoever caused this, you have to find a way to get past it and move on or you are never going to be sincerely happy.”

 “I don’t – uh – know if I can...”

He hugged his buddy, “At least try.”

End Part