AUTHOR: Michelle

RATING: PG-13

COUPLES: B/R, B/A, W/O, A/C

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, right. The lyrics belong to Jann Arden’s "Insensitive."

DISTRIBUTION: My site, Secrets of the Slayer

SUMMARY: Willow and Liam are brother and sister, Buffy is their neighbor. Majorly AU.

FEEDBACK: Well, do you want me to write more?

1

// How do you cool your lips after a summer’s kiss?
How do you rid the sweat after the body’s bliss? \\

Sitting on the living room couch, Willow Rosenberg looked from her mother to her father and back again with questions in her eyes. They’d called her downstairs for a family meeting. Usually she could tell what was coming by the expressions on their faces, but this time they were unreadable. Frankly, it was scaring her.

"Mom? Dad? What’s going on?" she asked hesitantly. The last time they had a family meeting it was to announce her mother’s pregnancy. Unfortunately, Mrs. Rosenberg lost the baby a month later.

Mr. Rosenberg glanced at his wife before starting. "We just got off the phone with Sam."

Willow paled. Sam was Sam O’Neal, her mother’s ex-husband and the father of her half-brother. She feared something bad had happened to him. "Is Liam okay?"

"He’s fine, Willow," her father reassured her. "The reason Sam called was because your brother would like to return home with us. He’s been going through a rough time of it lately and wants to get out of Los Angeles."

"It’s because of Paige."

"That’s what Sam seems to think. Liam cared for her a great deal, you know that. Her death hit him hard. Now he wants to get out of there. Your mother and I want to make sure that you are okay with Liam moving back here before we say yes."

Willow nodded. She missed having her brother around; they’d always been close. "I’m more than okay with it. I’ve wanted him to move back for a long time."

"Willow," Mrs. Rosenberg began, "this is going to be a big change for all of us."

"I know. He only moved to L.A. three years ago. How long before he comes back?"

"This weekend. We still have to call and tell him; we didn’t want to give him an answer without finding out what you thought about it first."

"Can I give him the good news?" Willow wanted to know. "I really want to talk to Liam, we have to catch up."

"Sure," Mr. Rosenberg agreed. "You can call him from your room."

Jumping up from her spot on the couch, Willow squealed with delight and ran up to her room. Shutting the door behind her, she grabbed her cordless phone and dialed her brother’s phone number. It took three rings for him to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Liam."

Liam smiled upon hearing his sister’s voice. "Hey, Wills. How are you doing?"

"I’m great. You?"

"Okay. Is Oz treating you all right?"

"Yeah, he’s Oz. That means he’s always a sweetheart. I was just talking to Mom and Dad and they said you want to move back to Sunnydale," Willow said.

Plopping down on his bed, Liam nodded. You have no idea how badly. I can’t stand Los Angeles anymore. When my dad was talking to your dad, Ira said they needed some time to think about it."

"They wanted to see if I’d be okay with it."

Liam held his breath. "And?" His half-sister held his fate in the palm of her hands.

"How quickly can you pack your bags?"

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I can’t wait to have you back, Liam. It’ll be like old times…only not. Everyone is going to be thrilled when I tell them the good news tomorrow morning at school."

He frowned, even though he knew Willow couldn’t see him. "I don’t think *everyone* is going to happy to hear about my return."

Sighing, she knew exactly who he was talking about. "It’s been three years since you left. Buffy’s over it. God, you were fourteen."

"And she was twelve. I can’t help feeling bad about it. I was so awful to her, Wills, I know that now. I didn’t really hate her."

"I know. And I’m sure she knows, too. You can tell her so yourself when you see her next week." Willow decided to change the subject. Talking about Buffy always seemed to bring her brother down. "We are going to have so much fun. We can double date!"

"You don’t do that now?" Liam asked.

"It’s more of a group thing when we go out. Me and Oz and the rest of the gang at the Bronze. We need fresh blood. And it shouldn’t take you long to find a date. I’m sure there are a couple girls who could stand looking at your hideous face for a few hours."

For the first time in weeks, Liam laughed. "God, I’ve missed you."

***

// How do you turn your eyes from a romantic glare?
How do you block the sound of a voice you’d know anywhere? \\

"Who were you on the phone with all last night?" Buffy Summers asked her best friend the following morning on the way to school. "I tried getting through for, like, three hours."

"Sorry. I was on the phone."

"Yeah, I gathered that much. With who, Oz?"

Willow shook her head. She could hardly contain her excitement over her brother’s return to Sunnydale. "With Liam. He’s coming back, Buffy. Isn’t that great?"

"Great," Buffy replied, lacking any enthusiasm. ‘Can my day get any worse?’

"You’re not happy?"

"Should I be?"

She sighed. "I can’t believe you’re still mad at him. Buffy, it was three years ago. Liam and I talked about it last night and he’s sorry about what he said to you that day. He never hated you."

"Then why did he say it? It hurt, you know? I told him I loved him and he basically spat in my face. Then again, why would a fourteen-year-old even remotely like a twelve-year-old? It hurt then and you know what? It still hurts today, if only a little bit. Yes, I am still mad at him."

"Mad at who?" Riley Finn piped in, falling into step with his girlfriend and her best friend.

"My brother," Willow answered. "Buffy, he’s a great guy and he feels really badly about what happened."

"How is Liam doing?" Riley wanted to know.

Buffy scowled. "Moving back here. Welcome to my hell."

He looked at Willow, who just shrugged her shoulders in response. Riley knew the whole story; he and Liam had been good friends when he used to live in Sunnydale, and he’d heard from Liam what went down between him and Buffy. He also knew his girlfriend didn’t believe in forgiving and forgetting.

"Maybe he’s changed," Riley offered. "I’m sure he’s sorry."

"Look, just because you’re his biggest fan doesn’t mean I have to be. Don’t expect me to fall at Liam O’Neal’s feet like a swooning schoolgirl. Buffy Summers has grown up. I’m over him."

"No one said you weren’t," Willow said.

"Good. See you guys later."

Riley turned to Willow after Buffy left their side. "Willow, is she okay?"

"I don’t know. Maybe Liam hurt her more than I ever realized." ‘That would explain the whole Parker incident last summer.’

"She had a crush on him."

Willow frowned. "It was more than a crush, Riley. Buffy was in love with him from before she could even speak. And my brother’s rejection…I guess it did more damage than I thought."

***

2

// Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes, your casual goodbye
By the chill in your embrace, the expression on your face that told me
Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive \\

Sunday morning arrived sooner than anyone expected. Willow climbed out of bed at the crack of dawn, excited about her brother’s return. Her parents hadn’t even woken up yet and she was already in her brother’s old bedroom, cleaning from floor to ceiling. She wanted everything to be perfect when Liam showed up in a few hours.

Glancing out the window at ten o’clock after four hours of nonstop cleaning, Willow couldn’t help but frown. Her brother’s bedroom window faced directly into Buffy’s bedroom. The shades were open in her best friend’s room and she could clearly see the petite blonde sitting at her desk, her back to the window. The two of them hadn’t really spoken much about her brother’s return to Sunnydale; Buffy always changed the subject or ignored her whenever she mentioned Liam. It made Willow wonder what was going through Buffy’s mind.

‘I hope she lets Liam apologize,’ she thought. Ever since the three of them were children, Willow knew her brother and Buffy would make the perfect couple. Knowing Liam as well as she did, she knew he’d had a crush on Buffy but he never acted on it. And she’d been surprised by his actions the day he left for Los Angeles. Despite Buffy’s six month relationship with Riley, she wanted Liam and her to get together. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Riley, she did. But Willow could only see her best friend with her older half-brother.

"Willow!" her mother called. "They’re here!"

Tearing herself away from the window, Willow ran down the stairs to the front door so she could greet Liam. "Did you finish cleaning?" Mr. Rosenberg asked her.

She nodded. "His room is spotless. I know he’ll love it."

"I’m certain he will."

As soon as she saw the car door open, the fifteen-year-old thrust open the front door and bounded down the driveway to greet her brother. When she saw him she couldn’t get over how much he’d changed in the four months since they’d last seen each other. Liam looked as if he’d lost about ten pounds and his face seemed gaunt and tired. He was still devilishly handsome, just not as healthy-looking as the last time she’d seen him.

"Liam!" she squealed excitedly, running into his arms.

He had to regain his balance after Willow pounced on him. She’d come at him with such force he nearly fell over. Once they let go of one another, he looked at his younger sister. Willow looked years older than the last time he’d seen her; she held an air of maturity that hadn’t been there several months ago. Liam was sure it had something to do with her boyfriend Oz.

"Willow. Oh my god, I cannot believe how grown up you look," he commented. "Are you sure you’re only fifteen?"

"Positive. I have the lack of driver’s license to prove it," she joked. "You look…" Willow couldn’t find the right words to describe him without hurting his feelings.

"Horrible. You can say it, Will, I know."

She gave him a half-smile. "I didn’t want to say it."

"Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be the first." He headed for the trunk – which is father had unlocked for him– to grab some of his belongings. "I have to tell you, I’m glad to be back in Sunnydale."

"It must be quite a culture shock from L.A.."

He laughed shortly. "You can say that. It’s like going from fast-forward to pause. But I needed to get out of there."

"We’re glad to have you back. Mom and Dad have been running around like two nutcases since you said you wanted to come back. And everyone I’ve told is *so* happy you’re back."

Glancing at the house to the left of his, Liam frowned. His gut feeling told him there was one person who wasn’t happy about it. He’d hoped Buffy would be waiting for him with his sister, but he knew it was only wishful thinking. Eventually they would cross paths and he’d apologize for his behavior all those years ago. Until then, all he could do was wait. "That’s good to hear."

"Are you two coming inside or not?" Mr. Rosenberg wanted to know.

"Coming!"

***

Standing in the living room, Buffy watched through the picture window while Willow and Liam embraced in the Rosenberg’s driveway. Part of her wanted to go out there and welcome him back but a voice in her head reminded her why she shouldn’t. It told her not to put herself in the position where she could have her heart broken again.

The past three years had been kind to Liam O’Neal. Even though she’d seen the pictures of him that Willow kept in her bedroom, seeing him up close was so much better. He’d grown about a foot taller since he was fourteen and had certainly filled out. Buffy could tell with one glance that he worked out; his t-shirt clung snugly to his broad chest and upper arms. Closing her eyes for a moment, she imagined what he looked like without the shirt on.

Shaking her head, she stopped herself from fantasizing about him. ‘Stop it, Buffy,’ she berated herself. ‘Don’t do this to yourself, you have a boyfriend. Who cares if he’s really good-looking. Liam made his feelings for you abundantly clear before he left.’

// "You’re leaving today," twelve-year-old Buffy stated, sitting on the back porch with her fourteen-year-old neighbor.

Liam nodded. "Yep. I’m glad I’m going. I hate it here, I hate everything about this place. Los Angeles is so much cooler than Sunnydale."

"I bet it is. Are you gonna miss anything?" she asked hopefully. She’d had a crush on the older boy for as long as she could remember.

"Sure. My mom and Willow. Duh."

"Nothing else?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "My friends, too, I guess. And maybe Ira. He’s okay when he’s not trying to be my dad. It’s like he forgets I already have a father."

Buffy looked down; she didn’t want to say goodbye to Liam. "I’ll miss you a lot. I love you, Liam."

Whipping his head around, he looked at her as if she told him the moon was made of green cheese. "What did you say?"

"I said I love you. Didn’t you hear me?"

"No, I-I heard you." He never expected to hear those words coming from Buffy’s mouth. "Are you nuts? You’re just a kid." ‘I can’t tell her how I feel. Why bother if I’m moving away? I might never see her again.’

"I wanted to say it before you left."

"Well, I don’t love you," he responded. "How can I love you? I don’t even like you!"

Her lower lip trembling, Buffy held in her tears. "What? Liam, I thought we were friends. You, me and Willow. Only I don’t like you like a friend."

"You and Willow are friends, not you and me. I hate you; I’ve only been putting up with you, Buffy. I hate you," he said harshly. ‘Liar!’ "You know why I’m so happy to get out of here? Because once I’m gone I won’t have to see you every day." \\

"Maybe if you’re lucky you won’t have to see me, Liam," Buffy muttered, watching as he and Willow walked up the driveway to their front door.

***

3

// How do you numb your skin after the warmest touch?
How do you slow your blood after your body rush? \\

"Liam? Are you awake?" his mother asked, opening his bedroom door Monday morning at six-thirty.

Rolling over and groaning, Liam scowled at his mother who stood in the doorway. "I’m up, I’m up. What time is it?"

"Six-thirty. Willow is already up and ready for school. I want you to hurry up and get dressed so you can join the rest of the family for breakfast."

He rubbed his tired brown eyes, staring at Mrs. Rosenberg. "Family breakfast? Isn’t that a foreign concept these days?"

"Maybe your father and his new wife don’t believe in eating as a family, but we do. I want your butt downstairs in the kitchen in ten minutes, fully dressed and ready to eat. I’m not kidding, Liam." She left the room without bothering to close the door.

Afraid his mother would catch him dozing off, Liam did not attempt to go back to sleep. The idea of a family breakfast was a scary one; most of his breakfasts over the past three years consisted of a Pop-Tart and a can of Pepsi on the walk to school. Nutritious it wasn’t, but it was convenient.

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Liam sat up and climbed out of bed stealthily. He opened the curtains, blinded by the bright morning sunlight pouring inside the room. Once he became accustomed to it, he found his gaze wandering across the way to Buffy’s room. He’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but no such luck. Her shades were closed.

‘Maybe I’ll see her in school today,’ he thought. ‘It may be three years late, but I owe that girl one hell of an apology.’

"Liam! I certainly hope you’re out of bed!" Mrs. Rosenberg shouted up the stairs. "Yes, Mom!"

***

"It’s alive," Mr. Rosenberg commented when the seventeen-year-old made his way into the kitchen. "We weren’t sure you were going to make it."

Liam glared at his stepfather. "Funny. Sorry, I’m not used to eating breakfast in a family setting. What is there to eat, anyway? Pop-Tarts?"

"Eggs, french toast and sausage. Sit down, Liam, and I’ll get it for you," his mother insisted.

"Wow, table service and everything. And a real meal to boot. You know, I think I’m gonna like it here."

"I’d like you two to be home right after school if you can," Willow’s father said to the teenagers. "Hank, Joyce and Buffy are coming over for dinner and I want this house looking spotless when they get here. Understood?"

Willow nodded her head, swallowing the eggs she was chewing. "Sure, Dad. What time will they be here?"

"Five-thirty."

"Okay."

The sound of a car blaring caused Liam to jump, dropping his fork on his plate. "Who is out there at this ungodly hour? Don’t they realize what time it is?" he complained.

"Must be Riley," Mrs. Rosenberg assumed. "It’s about that time of the morning."

Liam looked surprised. "Riley? What’s he doing here?"

"Picking up Buffy, like he does every school day at this time. How Joyce and Hank can allow him to blast his horn at six forty-five in the morning is beyond me. If Oz ever did that, Willow, I’d never let you leave this house with him."

"Riley? As in Riley Finn?" Liam asked.

"Yeah," Willow replied. "He and Buffy are seeing one another. Didn’t I tell you?"

"No." He found it hard to hide his disappointment. Not that he was interested in Buffy that way, but the news came as a shock to him. "Have they been together for long?"

"Six months or so. He makes her happy, that’s all that matters."

"I see."

Mr. Rosenberg folded the newspaper he’d been reading. "You two had better hurry up and eat. Liam has to get to school early to get his schedule and find his way around the building."

"I’ll help him find his way around, Dad," Willow said. "And Oz offered his help as well."

"You’re very lucky to have such a caring and considerate sister," Mrs. Rosenberg said to her son. "But I agree with Ira, you two should hurry up."

"Okay, Mom," Liam gave in.

He wasn’t looking forward to school. Even though he was a good student and popular at Hemery High, Liam found himself fearful of his new high school. It wasn’t like his old school where he knew everyone, and vice versa. At Sunnydale High he’d be the new kid. He doubted anyone would remember him from grammar school or junior high.

***

"Are you going to be okay if I head to the library?" Willow asked her older brother after entering the building. "I don’t want you to get lost or anything."

He smiled appreciatively. "Don’t worry about me, Wills. I can find my way around. Go ahead, I’ll be fine. What do you have to do in the library before homeroom?"

"I want to check some stuff online. Research project for Biology. I’m probably the only kid at school who has the Coroner’s Office’s website bookmarked as a favorite place."

Liam laughed at her. Willow’s goofiness never ceased to bring a smile to his face. "Well, have fun. If I run into any trouble, I’ll ask for help from another student or a teacher. Have fun hacking."

"Will do. Good luck."

"Thanks."

Watching Willow retreat down the long, crowded hallway, Liam walked in a daze toward the Admission’s Office. Not looking where he was going, he inadvertently crashed into another student walking out of a classroom, causing her to drop her books.

"I am *so* sorry," he apologized. Bending down, he helped pick up the books that tumbled to the floor. "I’m a total clutz and I wasn’t watching where I was going."

"Don’t worry about it."

He lifted his head to look at the other student. Only a foot away was probably one of the prettiest girls he’d ever laid eyes on. She had dark blonde hair and the most beautiful, piercing green eyes. The girl wore a brown skirt, white tank top and a pale blue blouse over it, a pair of brown boots on her feet. Handing the books she spilled over to her, Liam noticed her long, slender legs and felt his mouth go dry.

‘First day at Sunnydale High and I’m already in love,’ he said to himself. ‘Paige would have laughed her ass off at this if she knew.’

"Once again, I’m sorry for my extreme oafishness." Standing up, he offered his hand to the pretty girl in front of him in order to help her up. "I’m new here."

She ignored it, standing up on her own. "Like I said, don’t worry about it. No one got hurt. Look, I should get to class before I’m late." "Wait. I want to introduce myself. I’m Liam O’Neal," he said before she could walk away.

"I know who you are," she said flatly.

Liam raised his eyebrows. "You do? My reputation must precede me." ‘Where do I know her from? She looks so familiar. It’s the eyes; I know those green eyes from somewhere.’

"Something like that. We knew each other before you moved, Liam."

"Do you mind if I ask your name? It might help jog my memory."

"I think you can figure it out for yourself. Just think back and maybe you’ll remember me."

Clutching her books to her chest, the mystery girl left him standing there, wondering what he did to anger the girl of his dreams.

***

4

// How do you free your soul after you found a friend?
How do you teach your heart to try to fall in love again? \\

"How was your first day at Sunnydale High?" Mrs. Rosenberg asked her son. She’d returned home from work at four-thirty to find her two children hard at work cleaning the house.

"It was fine, Mom," Liam replied. "Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be."

Willow, who stood five feet away cleaning the sink, snorted at Liam’s answer. "Oh please. He’s already Mr. Popularity."

"I’m shocked so many people remember who I am after three years away."

His mother smiled. ‘I knew this move would be good for him.’ "Sounds like you had quite a productive day."

"That’s not the half of it, Mom," Willow said. "He’s fallen in love with some mystery girl. All I could get out of him was that she has the most amazingly beautiful eyes."

"Really?" Mrs. Rosenberg lifted her eyebrows. "Sounds interesting. Liam, would you care to elaborate on this girl?"

"I wish I could. She never said her name. I was walking down the hall, totally not paying attention to where I was going and, bam! We bump right into each other and her books go flying all over the place. One look and I was in love. She already knew me, though, but I can’t place her for some reason. Her eyes were so familiar to me, yet I can’t place her."

‘I’m so glad my Liam is settling in so well. I was afraid he’d have a hard time with the move. Boy was I wrong.’ "Sounds like you had a great first day."

"I did. Tomorrow I set out trying to find out who she is." ‘And making her mine.’

***

// Oh you probably won’t remember me
It’s probably ancient history
I’m one of the chosen few
Who went ahead and fell for you \\

Promptly at five-thirty the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of the Summers family. Willow and Liam walked down the stairs to greet their neighbors, dressed nicely for the occasion. While Willow was excited, Liam found himself nervous at the prospect of seeing Buffy after so long. He wanted to apologize to her for the way he acted last time they saw one another, if he could find the right words to say.

"Hank, Joyce, Buffy, always wonderful to see you," Mr. Rosenberg greeted when he opened the front door. "Please come in."

The two adults entered the house, and Willow ran over to her best friend while they four older people left the room. Liam hung back on the stairs, the opened door blocking his view of Buffy, for which he was happy. It bought him some time to think up the right words to say to her.

"Liam," Willow scolded, turning around to look at him. "Get down here already. I thought you wanted to talk to Buffy."

Sighing, he made his way down the remainder of the steps to the front hall. "Hi…Buffy," he said slowly. ‘Oh my god.’

Standing just inside the house was the girl he bumped into that morning at school. Liam couldn’t understand why he didn’t recognize her to begin with; she was so obviously Buffy Summers, with her blonde hair and green eyes. The little girl next door had grown up into a beautiful young woman; one he fell in love with the moment he laid eyes on her. By the look on her face, Buffy did not feel the same way about him.

"Liam. Nice to see you again," she replied, plastering a fake smile on her face. "It’s been a while."

"Too long."

Willow raised her eyebrows at the exchange. None of it made sense to her, and the expression on her brother’s face was one of shock and amazement. "Am I missing something here?" she asked the two.

"Your brother and I bumped into one another this morning before homeroom. Literally. My books went everywhere."

Her jaw practically dropped on the ground while Buffy explained. Never in a million years would she have guessed her best friend was the one who Liam ran into. "Well…I, um, I had no idea."

"I’m a klutz," Liam said simply, never taking his eyes off the petite blonde.

"Willow!" her mother called from the kitchen. "Can you come in here? Buffy’s parents want to ask you a question."

Glancing from Buffy to Liam, and back again, she wanted to feel confident that no blood would be shed if she left the room, particularly on her best friend’s part. "I’ll be back in a minute," she told them.

Liam waited until Willow had exited the room before speaking. "Why didn’t you tell me who you were this morning?" he wanted to know.

"And ruin the surprise? No way," Buffy answered. "The look on your face was priceless. Well worth the wait."

"Glad you find my stupidity so funny. If I’d known I could have said what I have to say sooner. Buffy, I owe you an apology for what I said to you before I left for L.A. all those years ago."

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly. "Forget about it. I most certainly have."

"I said I hated you but I didn’t really mean it."

"Yeah, because ‘I hate you’ really means ‘I love you,’" she shot, acid dripping from her tongue. "I can see how it can be misconstrued. Do you know how much it hurt me when you said that? At twelve years old, it killed me. You were my first love."

Liam looked down, ashamed. "I’m sorry, Buffy. If I could take it back, I would in a heartbeat."

"Too bad you can’t change the past. Liam, I’m over it. No big."

"You don’t sound over it," he noted. "You still sound kinda mad."

She fumed, her face turning a fiery red. "What the hell do you expect from me?" she hissed. "Did you think I’d fall at your feet and beg you to love me? Could you contemplate getting over yourself for a second? Look, Liam, I’m sorry if I was supposed to spend the last three years mooning over you, but I didn’t. I moved on."

"To Riley Finn."

"Yeah, among others. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Do you love him?"

Buffy glared at him. If she didn’t know any better, she’d swear she saw a look of hurt flash across his handsome face. "Why do you care? You hate me, remember?"

"You keep answering my questions with questions of you own. That could be construed as avoidance."

"Well, *Dr.* O’Neal, I’ll tell you what. We should start fresh. I avoid you and you avoid me. Deal?" she suggested. ‘Why does he have to be so arrogant and so irresistible at the same time?’ She couldn’t admit it to herself, but she found herself more than a little attracted to him. It felt like a rush of emotion when she saw him the first time that morning, like she had when she was twelve years old.

Liam – for the first time in his seventeen years – felt his heart truly break. "Fine," he agreed. What choice did he have?

Willow came back into the room, feeling the tension. It was so thick she could cut it with a knife. "Um, dinner’s ready. We’re eating in the dining room."

The blonde visibly brightened. "Great. I’m starved."

"You okay?" Willow asked her brother, putting her hand on his shoulder. "You look upset."

He shook his head. "I’m fine, Wills. Better than fine, as a matter of fact. I just came to the conclusion that I’m not in love after all." ‘And I’m a huge liar. Why? Why did I have to fall in love with someone who feels nothing but contempt for me?’

***

5

"Where are you going tonight, honey?" Mrs. Rosenberg asked her son three weeks later. She’d walked upstairs and found him getting dressed to go out.

Liam buttoned up the red shirt he’d put on. "The Bronze. Willow and Oz are already there."

"She said you weren’t going with them."

"I changed my mind. Sorry, Mom, but I can’t spend every night at home brooding. I need to get out and start living my life."

She nodded in agreement. Ever since Liam returned to Sunnydale he hadn’t gone out very much. She’d never known him to be such a homebody. "Good for you. It’s time you started dating."

"I’m not dating." ‘At least not yet. The girl I want to date already *has* a boyfriend. Why does my life have to suck so bad?’

"Then maybe you should start. Liam, you’re a young, handsome boy. I’m sure there are tons of girls who’d beat down doors to go out with you."

He nearly laughed at his mother. "Uh, yeah, Mom. Not. I wish I could say that was the case, but it’s not. Girls don’t chase after me, not unless it’s in my dreams. And even then, it’s only one girl."

"Really?" Mrs. Rosenberg questioned. "So there is someone."

"There is, but it doesn’t matter anyway. She doesn’t know how I feel, not that it would matter if she did. B - She already has a boyfriend, and she’s made it quite clear she doesn’t like me."

"You never know."

He smiled, bending down to give his mother a kiss on the cheek. "I won’t be holding my breath. Anyway, I’ll be home later. So don’t wait up for me."

***

Twenty minutes later Liam waltzed into the club. The Bronze was exactly like the clubs he frequented back in Los Angeles, the only difference being that he knew more people here than he did back there.

‘Okay, where are Willow and Oz?’ he asked himself, his eyes roaming across the crowded building. Though he didn’t see his sister, he did find Buffy standing alone by the stairs.

As soon as he walked in, Cordelia Chase spotted Liam. "Hello, Salty Goodness," she purred. The brunette cheerleader turned to her friend. "Pick up the phone, dial nine-one-one. That boy is going to need some serious oxygen when I’m through with him."

She started to approach him but he walked away as if he didn’t notice her. And right in the direction of Buffy Summers to boot. It boggled her mind. "Why does this keep happening to me?" she demanded to know.

"Hi, Buffy," Liam greeted, a half-smile playing upon his lips. "How are you doing?"

Buffy looked up from the fingernail she’d been examining. When she saw Liam standing a few feet away, and as handsome as ever, she suppressed a groan. "I was doing great until about a minute ago. You?"

The biting tone of her voice should have warned him away, but he wasn’t giving up so easily. If he couldn’t get the blonde-haired girl in the glittery bronze dress to love him back, he at least wanted a civil conversation with her. "I’m doing good. Are you here by yourself?"

"No. Riley is meeting me here in a little while." She turned to look for Oz and Willow, mentally berating her boyfriend for being late. "You know, there’s an empty chair by Will and Oz. Maybe you’d better grab it before someone else does. This place can get pretty crowded on a Friday night." She pointed to where they sat.

"I can stay and keep you company until Riley gets here," Liam offered.

Buffy shook her head. "Really, that’s not necessary. He’ll be here any minute now. Just sit down."

Realizing it was no use to try and strike up a friendly conversation with her, Liam gave up trying to. "Fine. Save me a dance later," he said before heading in the direction of his sister’s table.

"Don’t hold your breath, O’Neal," she muttered.

***

"Hey, guys," Liam said, sitting down in the empty chair Buffy had suggested he take. "Mind if I sit down?"

Oz shook his head. "Go for it. How’s Sunnydale treating you so far?"

He wagged his hand back and forth, a frown adorning his handsome face. "It’s okay. Can’t really complain all that much."

"Will tells me you have to beat off the girls with a stick."

"I did not!" Willow defended herself.

"I’m a real heartbreaker, Oz," Liam responded sarcastically. "I’m really not interested in dating anyone right now. Maybe I need to settle in for a little while before throwing myself into the dating pool."

His sister flashed him a knowing smile. She knew Liam wasn’t interested in dating just *anyone.* The only thing stopping him was Buffy’s boyfriend, as she didn’t see Riley Finn going anywhere anytime soon. Despite her love and loyalty to her brother, Willow didn’t want to see Riley get hurt either.

A few minutes later, and seemingly out of nowhere, Buffy came up to the table, walking right up to Liam’s side. "You still want that dance?" she asked her neighbor.

"No Riley yet?" Willow noted, looking around for him.

Buffy shook her head. "Nope. And I love this song, and I really want to dance with someone. Do you want that dance or not?"

Liam stood up. "Sure."

The petite blonde grabbed his hand and dragged him onto the crowded dance floor. He smiled to himself when he realized it was a ballad; he’d have to slow dance with Buffy. ‘I am not seeing a downside to this whatsoever. Thank you, Riley, for being late,’ Liam thought when Buffy wrapped her arms around him.

// You should have seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was something missing
You should have known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn’t listen
You played dead but you never bled
Instead you laid still in the grass all coiled up and hissing
And though I know all about those men
Still I don’t remember
‘Cause it was us way before them and we’re still together \\

For Buffy, her decision to take Liam up on his dance offer was done out of desperation. Riley hadn’t arrived yet, and when she saw Parker Abrams enter the club she did not want him to see her standing alone. The last thing she wanted was for her one-time ex to think she lacked a date on a Friday night. But if he saw her dancing with a good-looking upperclassman, he’d be convinced she’d forgotten all about him and what he did to her.

Feeling Liam O’Neal’s arms wrapped around her small form, holding her tight, made her feel comforted. She could forget, if only for the duration of the song, that Parker Abrams even existed. Even though she cared deeply for her boyfriend, he never gave her the safe feeling Liam’s embrace did.

// And I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant that I love you forever
And I’m gonna keep on loving you
‘Cause it’s the only thing I wanna do
I don’t wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on loving you \\

Riley entered the Bronze, looking for his girlfriend. They were supposed to meet by the stairs ten minutes ago but he got held up at home. Yet when he arrived Buffy was nowhere to be found. Catching sight of Willow sitting near the dance floor, he decided to ask her if she’d seen Buffy.

"Willow?"

The redhead turned around, seeing Riley standing behind her. "H-Hi, Riley. What’s going on?"

"I’m looking for Buffy, we were supposed to meet here a little while ago. I am late, I know that, but I’m hoping she hasn’t left yet."

Oz pointed to the dance floor. "She’s out there. With Liam."

The boyfriend scanned the dancing couples, finding Buffy in Liam’s arms. It didn’t escape his attention that Buffy looked quite comfortable in his embrace. "Oh. How long have they been out there?"

"A few minutes," Willow informed him. "I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I think she only asked my brother to dance because Parker came in here. You know how she is when he’s around."

"Yeah, I know."

// And I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant that I love you forever
And I’m gonna keep on loving you
‘Cause it’s the only thing I wanna do
I don’t wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on loving you
Baby, I’m gonna keep on loving you
‘Cause it’s the only thing I wanna do
I don’t wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on loving you \\

By looking at the expression on Liam’s face – the look of contentment – Riley realized without a doubt what was going on. His childhood friend was in love. With Buffy.

‘I won’t lose her,’ Riley swore. ‘I will not lose Buffy to him.’

***

6

// I’m out of bold, I’m out of touch
I fell too fast, I feel too much
I thought that you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive \\

"I had a lot of fun tonight, Riley," Buffy told her boyfriend when he walked her to her front door at midnight. She noticed he had been quieter than usual and wanted to reassure him that she’d had a good time despite it.

Riley avoided her gaze, looking at the tree over her right shoulder instead. "With who? Me or Liam?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You looked awfully cozy with him when you were dancing," he commented, finally looking into her eyes. "I know he certainly did."

Buffy eyed him. "Are you jealous because I danced with him? You don’t have to be; you’re my boyfriend, not him. The only reason I danced with him was because I liked the song that was playing and he asked me to dance earlier."

"That’s not it, Buffy. I saw Parker there with Harmony Kendall. And I happen to know how you get when he’s around. You turn into Robo-Buffy."

"I do not."

"Yes, you do. Look, I understand it, but I can’t lie and say it doesn’t matter, or that it doesn’t bother me. It does. And it bothers me more than I’d like to see you dancing with Liam O’Neal."

She bit her lip, seeing how truly upset Riley was. "It shouldn’t bother you at all. There is nothing between me and Liam, you have to trust me. There’s *less* than nothing between us. He’s arrogant and completely self-centered, and the only reason I danced with him was because he was there. I would have preferred to dance with you."

"I know how you feel about him," Riley stated simply.

"Nothing. I feel nothing for him. Maybe when I was a kid I thought I was in love with him, but I’m not a kid anymore," she explained. "It was a crush; a crush I have grown out of."

"Are you sure?" Riley wanted to be convinced, but her words weren’t enough for him. He firmly believed that actions speak louder than words, and her actions at the Bronze during her dance with Liam spoke volumes.

"A hundred percent positive. I’d prefer to forget he – or anyone else, for that matter – exists at all."

***

Not long after returning home from the Bronze, Willow knocked on her half-brother’s bedroom door. He had left the club an hour after arriving, stating that he wasn’t feeling well, but she had her doubts. In the back of her mind, she had a nagging feeling it was because of Buffy.

"Can I come in?" she asked, poking her head inside the room when Liam didn’t answer.

Sitting at the desk he’d placed in front of the window facing Buffy’s room, Liam turned around from the email he’d been typing. "Sure."

"I knocked. Didn’t you hear me?" Willow wanted to know. Wanting privacy, she closed the door behind her.

"No, I didn’t." Liam picked up the remote control sitting next to his laptop and turned off the Eminem CD he had been listening to. "What can I do for you?"

She sat down on his bed. "I was hoping we could talk. About what happened tonight at the Bronze."

"Did I miss something after I left?" he asked, shutting off his computer. "Because that’s just my luck. All the good stuff always happens when I’m gone."

"No, it happened when you were right there, Liam. I’m talking about the dance you and Buffy shared. It raised a few eyebrows and ruffled a few feathers. Most notably Riley Finn’s," she informed him.

He shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly. "That was never my intention. When I walked in I saw Buffy standing by herself near the stairs. She was waiting for Riley, and seriously giving me the brush-off. I asked her to save me a dance later, figuring she would never take me up on it. It was a shock when she did."

"I know how you feel about her."

"How I feel about her? What do you mean?" questioned the seventeen-year-old.

"You said it yourself it was love at first sight when you ran into Buffy in the hall at school. Are you really in love with her?"

Liam shook his head. "No, I was mistaken. I thought I was in love but I wasn’t. Lust, Wills. It was lust at first sight, not love."

"That’s not how it looked to me, or to Oz or Riley. I get the feeling he knows how you feel and he isn’t too happy about it."

"He has every reason to be unhappy; if someone starting lusting after my girlfriend I’d be downright pissed off. Hell, I’d probably pound his face into the ground," he stated.

"Look, there’s a lot you don’t know about her, Liam. Buffy took it really hard when you left. What she felt wasn’t some schoolgirl crush; she’d been in love with you since she could walk. It killed her inside when you said you hated her. Maybe she didn’t expect you to say you loved her back, but she sure as hell wasn’t expecting what you ended up saying. You weren’t there, you don’t know what a mess she was. She just wasn’t herself for a long time. Things happened to her freshman year and Riley helped her through it."

He blinked, stretching the tired muscles in his arms and legs. "What happened?"

"Buffy would kill me if she found out I told you."

"I’m not gonna tell her. Come on, Willow. How bad could it be?"

Willow chewed on her lower lip, knowing she’d put her foot in her mouth this time. ‘Why did I even say anything?’ "Parker Abrams happened to her. They met at the Bronze a few weeks before school started last year. The two of them went on a couple dates and then…then it happened. She slept with him."

Liam knew she paused to gauge his reaction, but he was speechless. He never thought of Buffy being with anyone intimately. At least not someone who wasn’t him. "Parker Abrams, huh?"

"Yeah. It was only that one time. He was the first guy she ever went out with, and he ended up breaking her heart, even more than you did. She sat by the phone for days waiting for Parker to call. But he never did. I don’t know if he purposely avoided her or what, but Buffy didn’t see him again until the first day of school. He had this blonde sophomore hanging all over him. When she confronted him about their night together, he told her it had been fun but it didn’t mean anything."

"That’s seriously harsh," Liam commented. "Goddamn bastard."

"Tell me about it. The whole incident sent Buffy into a tailspin that she still hasn’t fully recovered from. That’s why she asked you to dance, because he came into the club. He still upsets her, over a year later. Riley has been great for her, though. He’s been her rock. As their friend, I don’t want to see either of them get hurt. You’re my brother, Liam, and I love you but I don’t want you to come between them if you are after a good time."

"I’m not like Parker; I don’t ruin relationships for fun. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t care about Buffy, because I do. Not that I’m saying it’ll never happen, but if Buffy and I were to hook up it would be because it’s what she wanted, not because I came between her and Riley for my own selfish reasons."

Willow smiled. "I’m glad you understand."

"I do. Now if you don’t mind, I’m pretty beat. I wanna go to bed."

"Okay. Night, Liam."

"Goodnight, Willow."

She exited his room and he sat at his desk, staring out the window. A couple minutes later, a light came on in Buffy’s bedroom, causing Liam to shut his off. The last thing he wanted was for her to see him watching her as she stripped out of her dress and into a pair of pajamas.

Rage consumed him as he thought of Parker Abrams hurting Buffy the way he had. "I will make him regret he ever laid a hand on Buffy Summers," he swore. ***

7

// Oh I really should have known by the time you drove me home
By the vagueness in your eyes
Your casual goodbye
By the chill in your embrace
the expression on your face that told me \\

Liam walked down the hallway at school Monday morning, a man on a mission. He’d had all weekend to think about what Willow told him Friday night, and used that time to figure out what to do with his newfound information. One thing he knew for certain was that he wanted to punish Parker Abrams. Severely.

The one thing he couldn’t understand was how a smart, pretty girl like Buffy could be taken in by such a jerk like Parker. The little girl he’d known – and left behind three years earlier – would never have stood for being treated like that. And Liam couldn’t help but himself for it. If he’d only told her how he felt before he left Sunnydale, maybe it never would have happened.

Classes didn’t begin for another ten minutes, so Liam stood in front of Parker’s locker. He hoped the other boy hadn’t headed for homeroom yet; he really wanted to get this finished. Glancing down the hall, he saw Parker coming his way.

"Hey, O’Neal. How are ya doin’?" Parker asked.

Liam eyed his enemy. They were both about the same height, but he was definitely more muscular than Parker. One thing he had to say, Parker Abrams looked the part of the slimy weasel. "I’m okay. How about you?"

"Couldn’t be better. Had a hot date this weekend with Harmony Kendall. That girl…just amazing. Most fun I’ve had on a date in a long time. You know what I mean."

"No, I don’t. I don’t operate that way."

"To each his own, I guess," the thinner boy responded. "You know, I’ve seen you in the halls. I didn’t know you came back to good old Sunnydale High. What made you come back? L.A. get too boring?"

Unfortunately for Parker, Liam wasn’t in the mood to make small talk. "Change of scenery."

"Well, if you don’t have a date for this weekend, I can assure you Harmony is free. Or, I’ve got a list of other girls who’d be glad to show you a good time."

"I heard you like your girls a little younger than yourself. Like using them, too," Liam accused.

Parker shrugged his shoulders. "A man has his needs."

With all the anger boiling inside of him, Liam took a deep, controlled breath. "I understand your needs included Buffy."

"Buffy? You mean Buffy Summers? Of course you mean her, there’s no other Buffy at this school. Yeah, we slept together. Last year. She wanted it the second I touched her, a man knows these things. You want a stab at her, go ahead. That girl has a lot of stamina."

Liam, enraged at Parker’s insensitive words about Buffy, shoved him against the locker as hard as he could. The door rattled when Parker’s head hit it. "You are *never* to talk about Buffy that way again. Do I make myself clear?"

By now, a small crowd had gathered around the two students. Parker, very aware of their presence, adjusted the collar of his t-shirt. "Easy there, Liam. She’s just a girl."

"Buffy is not just a girl," Liam disagreed.

"What, do you have a hard-on for her or something? Let me give you a few tips about that girl. She likes to be teased and touched. There’s this one spot underneath her right breast–"

He couldn’t listen to any more. Half turning around, Liam fisted his right hand and connected it with Parker’s nose. His head snapped back, blood dripping from his nose. He didn’t have time to wipe it away before he was hit with another punch. Liam laid into him twice more, the sound of cheering students giving him energy. He didn’t hear Principal Snyder order him to stop; all he could think of was hurting Parker as much as he’d hurt Buffy.

***

"One week’s suspension," Mr. Rosenberg stated when he arrived home from work. His wife had called him during his lunch break that afternoon. When he entered the house, he found his stepson sitting in front of the television watching Dr. Phil.

"Yep. Looks like it."

He picked up the remote control and turned the television off. Mr. Rosenberg wanted Liam’s full attention. "What on earth were you thinking, Liam? No, wait, you weren’t thinking at all. That much is obvious."

"It’s not a big deal. I’ve been suspended before," the seventeen-year-old replied.

"And that is something you’re proud of? I thought you moved back here to get away from that type of behavior. You’ve only been here for three weeks and you are already in trouble. Is this just the beginning?"

"Parker Abrams got exactly what he deserved."

"You broke his nose."

Leaning back on the couch, Liam smiled with satisfaction. "He deserved a hell of a lot worse; he’s lucky I didn’t break something else. Something more important to him."

"What happened this time?" his stepfather wanted to know. "What did he do to deserve your wrath?"

"He hurt someone very important to me. I was just defending her honor. I know you’re going to ask if I regret it. And I don’t. I’d do it again in a heartbeat; only next time I’d hurt him a hell of a lot worse."

Willow’s father shook his head in disgrace. "Your mother and I haven’t discussed your punishment yet. But I can guarantee it won’t be a walk in the park."

"I don’t doubt it."

The doorbell rang and the two men looked at one another. "Get the door, then go to your room until dinner." Mumbling under his breath, Mr. Rosenberg walked out of the room.

Liam got up and answered the door, pleasantly surprised to see Buffy standing on the other side. "Buffy, hi. Did you come by to see Will? ‘Cause she’s not here, she went to Oz’s for dinner."

"No. I came to see you. Can we talk in private?" she asked.

"Sure." He opened the screen door and stepped out on the front porch. "Is everything okay?"

"Who do you think you are, Liam?" Buffy demanded.

He could see the anger raging inside, her green eyes burned with it. If it were possible, Liam found her even more beautiful. "I don’t get it. What are you talking about?"

"You and Parker Abrams. The fight you two were in; or should I say the beating you gave him. Everyone was talking about it. That and the fact that my named was mentioned."

"Buffy, I just wanted to confront him about what happened between you two," he tried to explain.

"Who told you? Was it Willow?"

Liam nodded. "Yes. But she only did it to help me understand why you turned into a pod person Friday night at the Bronze."

"She had no right!"

"Don’t blame my sister. She didn’t know I’d do what I did. I’m sure she wouldn’t have told me if she had any clue."

"Why did you do it? Haven’t I been embarrassed enough?" Buffy was on the verge of tears, but refused to let him see.

"I was simply defending your honor. The things he was saying about you…they were disgusting. There was no way I was going to let him stand there and speak about you that way."

"Were you trying to win points with me? Beating Parker Abrams to a bloody pulp isn’t going to change things between you and I."

‘Like I thought it would,’ he thought. "I know. The guy had it coming. If it wasn’t me, it would have been someone else. I got suspended from school for a week, and it’ll be worth every minute of it. Buffy, I would do it again."

Buffy glared at him. "Then don’t do it for me."

As she headed home across the Rosenberg’s front lawn, she thought about what Liam did for her. And despite her anger, a part of her was glad he did it. She’d been waiting for over a year for Parker to get what was coming to him. The only thing she wished was that Riley had been the one to teach him a lesson. She didn’t quite know what to think of Liam defending her honor when her own boyfriend hadn’t.

***

8

// Maybe you might have some advice to give
On how to be insensitive
Insensitive
Insensitive \\

Riley cast his eyes at his girlfriend as they sat in his bedroom watching a movie. Buffy hadn’t said very much since she arrived an hour earlier and he wondered if something was bothering her. Deciding to get to the bottom of it, he pressed pause on the remote control in hopes of her telling him.

"What’s going on?" he wanted to know.

She sat up and gave him a curious glance. "Come again?"

"You’ve been really quiet since you got here, Buffy. I know when something is on your mind and I just wish you’d tell me what it is."

"It’s nothing. I’m fine, Riley."

"Are you sure?"

Buffy nodded her head. "Yes, I’m sure. Stop worrying about me. Nothing’s going on."

Despite her assurances to the contrary, Riley didn’t find himself convinced by her words. After having dated Buffy for nearly seven months, and knowing her over a year, he liked to think he knew his girlfriend fairly well. And something was definitely on her mind. "If something was going on, Buffy, you’d tell me, right?"

"Of course I would."

He decided to let the subject drop. It would not do any good to press her; when she was ready to tell him, she’d tell him. So they sat in silence for another twenty minutes, simply watching the movie playing on the television set.

"Hey, Riley," Buffy started as the movie ended. "What do you think about what Liam did to Parker? Do you think he was right in beating him up?"

"Depends on his reasoning. If it was for a good cause, then yes, he was right. But if he did it because…well, just because, then no."

"What do you consider to be a good cause?" Buffy asked him.

Riley shrugged his shoulders as he took the videotape out of the VCR. "Depends, really. If he was doing it to protect someone, that’s a good enough reason."

"Would you punch someone – Parker, for example – if he said something about me that offended you?"

"Maybe, but it depends on what he said. I’m not the confrontational type, Buffy, you know that. I prefer to ignore things and maybe they’ll go away. I don’t exactly agree with what Liam did, or at least where he did it. School wasn’t the best place for picking a fight, and the suspension he got was proof enough of that. But it think Parker had it coming, *has* had it coming for a long time. A small part of me wishes I was the one who did it."

Buffy sighed heavily. ‘But it wasn’t you.’

***

She walked into the Bronze the following Thursday night in search of her friends. Willow told her at school that morning they would all be there. Rather than sit at home with her parents all night, Buffy needed to get out and enjoy herself without her boyfriend to baby-sit her.

She found them sitting at a table not far from the stage; Willow seated as close to Oz as she could get, her half-brother sitting across from them. ‘Good, Liam’s here. Just the person I want to see,’ thought Buffy.

"Hi, guys," she greeted, plastering a smile on her face. "Have you got room for one more at the table?"

Willow and Oz were very happy to see their friend, while Liam didn’t know what to say or do. He’d been trying his hardest to avoid Buffy whenever she stopped over; trying to keep the petite blonde out of his thoughts since their confrontation earlier in the week. Not that he’d been successful with the latter, but he’d given it his best shot.

"Sure, go ahead," Willow offered, pointing to the chair to her left. "We saved you a seat in case you showed up."

"Thanks." She pulled out the chair and sat down, keeping her eyes off of Liam sitting not three feet to her left. "Have I missed anything good?"

The redhead shook her head. "Nada. It’s been kinda uneventful tonight. I have a feeling it’s going to stay that way."

"Good. School has been eventful enough this week," Buffy commented, quickly stealing a glance in Liam’s direction. Thankfully, he wasn’t paying attention. "How’s it going, Oz?"

"Alright. Yourself?"

"Not bad. Can’t really complain."

"Where’s your other half?" he wanted to know.

She frowned, but on the inside she was relieved. It was nice to have a night out with her friends. "Home. He had an Economics paper to write. So I’m here all by my lonesome."

Willow was about to respond when the deejay started playing a popular song. "This is such a good song. Oz, we have to dance."

The couple stood up and headed for the dance floor, leaving Buffy and Liam alone at the table. Neither one of them said anything for a long time until the elder of the two finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Buffy, I want to say I’m sorry," Liam apologized.

"What for?"

"For what I did to Parker. You were right, I had no right to break his nose for what he said and did. I should have left well enough alone."

She shook her had. "The weasel had it coming and I’m glad someone finally gave it to him. Even if it was you."

"Look, Buffy, I did it for you. When Willow told me what happened between you two, I freaked. The thought of him hurting you the way he did…something inside me just snapped. I can’t really explain it. And I know we haven’t had the best relationship since I came back to Sunnydale, but I’d like to rectify that," he explained.

"We’ll see."

"Can you at least accept my apology?"

"Sure. But if you ever do that again, I’ll rip off your arms and beat you to death with the bloody stumps," she threatened.

He laughed, stopping himself when he saw that she wasn’t joking. "Got it. One more thing, though. I don’t want you to think I punched Parker as some macho, male chauvinist show-off thing. I’m not trying to show up Riley."

"I never thought you were."

"Good. Now there’s no miscommunication. We know where we stand." ‘Right back at the beginning.’

***

9

Cordelia strolled down the hall following cheerleader practice nearly two weeks later. With her backpack slung over her shoulder, she sauntered through the empty halls as if she owned them. And being Cordelia Chase, she felt she did.

At four-thirty in the afternoon, she did not expect to see anyone else in the building aside from her fellow cheerleaders and a stray teacher or two. So when she spied Liam O’Neal walking in her direction, she found herself pleasantly surprised. Quickly fixing her hair, she plastered a grin on her face and made her way towards him.

"Hi, Liam," Cordelia drawled when their paths crossed. She immediately turned around and started walking with him. "I wasn’t expecting to see you here at this time of day."

Liam raised his eyebrows at the younger girl. He didn’t know who she was or how she knew his name, but he wasn’t about to ignore a beautiful young woman. "I had detention," he answered simply.

"You had detention? What did you do?"

"You mean you didn’t hear? Damn, I thought everyone at this school heard what I did; you must be the only one who doesn’t know. I broke Parker Abrams’ nose a couple Mondays ago before homeroom."

"Oh yeah, I heard about that. But I thought you just got suspended for a week."

He nodded his head. "I did. But when I got back, Snyder decided I needed to be punished a little longer. One month of detention. But like I’ve told everyone else, it was worth every second of it to hit that slimy bastard."

"He deserved it."

"That seems to be the general consensus around here." Liam paused for a moment, considering how to pose the question he was about to ask. "Okay, I don’t want to see like an idiot or anything, but who are you? I’m afraid I’m not familiar with everyone around here yet."

She flashed him one of her famous million-dollar smiles. "I’m Cordelia Chase. Head cheerleader for the Junior Varsity squad. Sophomore and quite unattached."

"Oh, okay. How do you know me?"

"I’ve seen you around school and at the Bronze. I’d have introduced myself sooner, but the hideous losers you always sit with make me break out in hives when I get within five feet of them," Cordelia commented. "I can’t seem to understand why you would even associate with them."

Liam tried not to take offense to what she’d said. "They’re my friends."

"Willow Rosenberg and Buffy Summers? Puh-lease. You can do so much better. I know tons of popular people."

"Buffy lives next door to me. And it just so happens that Willow is my sister," he informed the brunette.

"Yeah, right."

"I’m serious. She’s my half-sister; we share the same mother."

Cordelia held her head high, undeterred by Liam’s revelation. "Well, I suppose that goes to show you can’t choose your family. You moved here from L.A., right? Why would you ever want to move to Sunnydale from there? I’d kill to live that close to that many shoes."

"I had my reasons."

"Such as?"

"*Personal* reasons. I really don’t want to talk about them if you don’t mind."

Shrugging her shoulders, she blinked. "Whatever you want. You know, I’ve got an extra ticket to the concert at the Bronze tonight. If you’re not doing anything, maybe you’d like to go. As my date, of course."

Liam gave her offer his consideration. ‘Let’s think about this one. Go to a concert with a beautiful girl or sit at home moping and brooding over Buffy. Tough decision there.’ "Sure, I’ll go. What time?" ‘Hey, if you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with. And it doesn’t look like I’ll ever be with the one I love.’

"Eight o’clock. I’ll pick you up."

"Do you need the address?"

"I should be able to find it."

***

As she walked down the hall to Willow’s bedroom, Buffy saw that Liam’s bedroom door was open and the light was shining into the hallway. She had come over to study for a history test, and Mr. Rosenberg allowed her to just go up to her best friend’s room. Deciding to see what Liam was up to, she stopped in front of his doorway.

"Hot date tonight?" she teased.

He closed the closet door, having pulled out a long-sleeved gray shirt. "Hi, Buffy. And yes, I do have a hot date tonight."

She watched with keen interest while he pulled the shirt over his head. ‘Stop drooling, Buffy. You have Riley, who’s just as good-looking and as built as Liam is.’ But she couldn’t keep herself from imagining his muscular arms holding her tight, and resting her head against his bare chest. "Who is the lucky girl?"

"Cordelia Chase."

"What?! You’re going out with Cordelia Chase? Are you out of your freaking mind, Liam?" she demanded.

He laughed at her; Buffy’s reaction was not what he’d been expecting, but he did find it amusing. "I take it you don’t approve."

"She’s the she-devil incarnate! Of course I don’t approve. You can do so much better than her."

"Like who?"

"Anybody who’s *not* her, that’s who. Why on earth would you go out with her?"

"She asked and I said yes. Last time I checked, Buffy, I didn’t need your permission to go out on a date."

Buffy fumed; how dare he give her an attitude! "You don’t. Truthfully, I don’t particularly care who you go out with. Although I thought you had better sense than to go out with Cordelia."

"I guess I’ll just have to figure that one out on my own." He glared at her, anger apparent in his brown eyes. Why was she so concerned about his love life? She made it clear she wanted no part of it. "If you’ll excuse me, I have to finish getting ready. My date will be here in a couple minutes."

With an aggravated sigh, Buffy stormed down the hall to her original destination – Willow’s bedroom. Not bothering to knock, she barged in and slammed the door shut behind her. "Your brother has lost his mind!"

Willow looked up from the textbook she was reading. "Huh?"

"Are you aware that he has a date with Cordelia tonight?"

"Yeah, they’re going to the Bronze for that concert."

Buffy gaped at her best friend. "Are you okay with this?"

"What choice do I have, Buffy? He’s old enough to decide who he wants to date. It’s not like I can tie him to his bed and hold him prisoner." The redhead bit her lip, realizing what she had just come out of her mouth. "Okay, that didn’t come out right…"

"But Cordelia of all people? Why did it have to be her?"

"Maybe he likes her."

"He can’t like her! They have absolutely nothing in common. She’s too…fluffy for him. Besides, she’s not Liam’s type," Buffy argued.

Willow sensed where her friend was coming from. "Who is his type? You?"

"I never said that. I have Riley, remember?"

"You haven’t acted like it lately. I’ve noticed it and so has he; you’ve been pulling further away from him ever since my brother came back to town. Do you still have feelings for him?" Willow wanted to know.

"That’s absurd!"

"Do you?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. I just happen to think Liam can do better, that’s all. I love Riley, nothing is going to change that." ‘Then why do I find myself drawn to Liam? He’s made it quite clear he’s not interested in me as anything more than his next door neighbor. That’s all I’ll ever be to him.’

***

10

// Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Lights are low, the curtains down
There’s no one here \\

Before third period began, Buffy sat quietly studying her History notes for the test she had to take in a few minutes. After spending hours at Willow’s house the night before, she was determined to get a good grade. But when Cordelia and Harmony entered the classroom, she found it hard to concentrate.

"You didn’t tell me how your date went last night," Harmony reminded her friend. "I’ve been in suspense since you told me about it yesterday."

Cordelia placed her books on her desk and sat down. "I had a good time. A great time, actually."

"Is Liam as enjoyable to be around as he is to look at?"

Three seats behind them, Buffy balled her hands into fists on the desk.

"More so. He knows how to have a good time, that’s for sure. A little quiet, but still fun. We’re going out again tonight," Cordelia told her.

"Ooh, where?"

"The movies."

"What movie?"

The brown-haired girl smirked devilishly. "Does it matter? We’ll be in a dark movie theater sitting way in the back, Harmony. You do the math."

"I gotcha."

"Liam O’Neal won’t know what hit him. That boy – and his luscious lips – are in for a bit surprise tonight."

Buffy was tempted to say something to them, but was interrupted when Xander Harris sat down next to her. "Hey, Buffster. You didn’t happen to study for this test, did you?"

"Last night I went to Willow’s house and studied with her." She never took her eyes off of Cordelia and Harmony, who were laughing at something she hadn’t heard.

Xander noticed his friend’s attention was focused elsewhere. "What’s wrong? You look like you’re a million miles away."

"Sorry, Xand. I was just thinking."

"About anything in particular? Or anyone?" he asked.

She shook her head. "Just stuff." Glancing again at Cordelia, Buffy decided to get Xander’s opinion on the brunette’s relationship with Willow’s brother. "Did you hear that Liam had a date with Cordelia last night?"

"He did? You’re kidding me. He lived to tell the tale?"

"Physically he’s fine." She kept it to herself the fact that she sat on her bed in the dark watching out her bedroom window until he came home. "It’s his mental capabilities I’m questioning."

"Yeah, I can see why. Liam and Cordy…that’s an interesting new development," Xander commented.

She frowned. "And not a pleasant one at that. But there’s nothing any of us can do about it. He told me yesterday it’s something he has to figure out on his own."

"Liam and Queen C. Who would have thought?" he mused. "I thought for sure he was hung up on you."

"What?!" Buffy didn’t know if she heard her friend right. "That’s impossible."

"Come on, Buff, don’t tell me you don’t see it. The way he looks at you, talks about you…hell, if it wasn’t for Riley he probably would have asked you out a long time ago."

"You’re crazy."

Xander shrugged his shoulders after a moment. "Maybe I’m seeing things then."

"You must be." ‘You must be, Xander,’ she thought.

***

// Say your lines but do you feel them?
Do you mean what you say when there’s no one around?
Watching you watching me
One lonely star \\

Buffy returned home from her date with Riley at ten after eight that evening. They’d planned on going to the movies and then to the Bronze, but she hadn’t felt much like socializing. They ended up sitting in his living room watching television until she decided to leave. She felt bad for ruining their plans, though Riley insisted he understood.

"Mom? Dad? Are you guys home?" she called as she walked up the stairs.

"We’re in our room," Mr. Summers responded. "Come on in, we need to talk to you."

She made a right at the top of the staircase and entered the master bedroom. What she saw inside took her by surprise: her parents were packing a suitcase. "What’s going on? Where are you guys going?" she asked them.

Mr. and Mrs. Summers exchanged a knowing glance. Finally, the time had arrived for them to reveal the truth to their daughter. "Honey, I’m going into the hospital," her mother told her.

"Why?" Buffy didn’t understand. As far as she could tell, her mother was in perfect health. "What’s wrong?"

"You know those little headaches I’ve been having? Well, the doctor wants to run a few tests on me. I’ll be staying at the hospital until they find out what’s causing them."

"It’s really nothing to be worried about. Just a precaution," Mr. Summers reiterated.

"How long will you be there?" Buffy wanted to know.

Her mother made her way to where Buffy stood and hugged her. "Just a couple of days, sweetie. I promise. I should be home by Friday or Saturday at the absolute latest."

She nodded, trying to be strong in front of her parents. The last thing she wanted to do was upset them. "What kind of tests do you have to go through?"

"We don’t know," her father answered. Truth was, they did know. But they didn’t want to frighten their only child until they had proof.

"Can I come with you?"

Her parents shook their respective heads. "I’m afraid not. You have school, not to mention you’ll be bored out of your mind. You can visit me tomorrow night, though. Your father will drive you there after dinner."

"Are you gonna be okay, Mom?"

"Yes. I promise I will be."

Buffy stayed in the room for another ten minutes while they finished packing Mrs. Summers’ suitcase. Silently, she slipped out when her parents began arguing about what slippers to pack. Her feet led her to the back porch, the rest of her following on autopilot. Buffy couldn’t think about anything else aside from her mother.

For as long as she could remember, her mother seemed to be invincible. Never in her fifteen years had she so much as seen Mrs. Summers sniffle or complain about not feeling well. Now, out of the blue, she needed to go to the hospital for tests. Nothing had ever scared Buffy more than the thought of her mother being seriously ill. Lowering herself to the stairs, she dropped her head to her knees and let the tears fall.

When Liam got home from his date with Cordelia at nine o’clock, he found Buffy in that very spot. Given their argument the day before, he had every intention of ignoring her, but stopped dead in his tracks when he heard her muffled sobs. Concerned, Liam walked to the Summers’ back porch.

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

She looked up, her eyes bloodshot and her cheeks stained with tears. "I’m fine."

He sat down next to her. "If you’re crying, you’re not fine. Believe me, I know. What happened? Did you and Riley get into a fight?"

"I wish it were that."

"Then what is it?"

"My mom," she revealed, a fresh stream of tears burning her eyes and threatening to pour out. "She’s going to the hospital tomorrow morning for tests. Something’s wrong with her, Liam. And she and Dad know but they won’t tell me everything."

Liam swallowed the lump in his throat. He’d always loved Mrs. Summers. "What’s wrong with her? I mean, what is she going to the hospital for?"

"She’s had headaches. Bad ones. And now her doctor wants to run all kinds of tests on her."

For a second, his heart stopped beating. ‘Oh god, not again.’ He wanted so badly to tell Buffy everything would work out for the best, but he couldn’t bring himself to say the words. Not after what he went through with Paige. "Buffy–"

"Don’t. I don’t want to hear you say everything will be fine," she stated. "This is my mother it’s happening to. I’m scared. So scared."

"I know you are. I want you to know I am here for you if you need me. For anything, and anytime."

She looked him in the eyes. "You mean that? Really?"

Liam lifted her chin with his pointer finger. "Really." Their lips were so close, he only needed to move an inch and then he’d be able to kiss her. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it; Buffy didn’t need that right now.

Comforted by his words, Buffy let her defenses down and let him hold her in his arms. She allowed her tears to fall again, this time they landed on Liam’s white t-shirt. And he let her cry on his shoulder for twenty minutes, neither of them noticing Riley when he entered the backyard.

***

11

// I’ve always been in love with you
Always with you
I guess you’ve always known it’s true
You know it’s true \\

"How are you feeling today?" Buffy questioned her mother following dinner the next evening. As promised, her father drove her to the hospital to visit her mom.

Mrs. Summers frowned, tugging at the hospital gown she wore. "I’m feeling okay. Although I’d give anything to be home; the food here stinks."

"Hospitals aren’t known for their gourmet cuisine," her husband joked.

"Did they get the test results back?" the fifteen-year-old wanted to know.

"Not yet. They won’t know anything for certain for a few more days," Mrs. Summers informed her. "As soon as they know something, they’ll tell me. And then I’ll tell you."

"What kinds of tests did you have to go through?"

"An MRI and a CAT scan. And a few other things I can’t remember the names of."

A chill ran down Buffy’s spine. "A-A CAT scan? And an MRI? Aren’t those tests they perform on the brain?"

"Usually. Well, an MRI can be done on anything, but a CAT scan tends to be for the brain. Buffy, they are standard tests, people get them done every day."

"But not you," she whispered.

"Your mother is going to be fine," her father reassured her. "She is a tough cookie. Just like you are."

"It could be serious, though. Right?"

Mrs. Summers patted the empty space on the bed to her left. She could see how frightened her daughter was with her medical crisis. "Sit down, honey." She waited until the teenager sat down before speaking again. "I want you to know that I feel fine. Other than the headaches, there’s nothing physically wrong with me. Also, the doctor is very optimistic that the test results will come back negative. But, Buffy, if they don’t we’ll just have to face that when the time comes."

She nodded solemnly. It wasn’t what she wanted to hear, although she had to face the reality of what could happen. "Are you going to be ready if they come back positive?"

"We all have to take things one day at a time," Mr. Summers stated. "Just think positively."

"I’m trying."

Mrs. Summers hugged her daughter, careful of the machines hooked up to her. "I know you are; we all are. Right now, the most we can do is wait."

***

// You took my love for granted
Why, oh why?
The show is over, say goodbye
Say goodbye, say goodbye \\

"Are you having a good time?" Cordelia asked Liam while they danced together at the Bronze. She noticed he seemed far away ever since they met at the club a short while ago.

Liam broke himself out of his reverie. All day long all he could think about was Buffy. The previous night he’d stayed on her porch with her for an hour, just comforting her and being her crying shoulder. He understood what she was going through and how scared she was; he’d been through the same thing. As much as he wanted to be there for her – and with her – the last thing he wanted to do was crowd her. Buffy needed space, that Liam knew.

"Sorry, Cordelia," he apologized when she called out his name again, the slight aggravation evident in her voice. "I’ve just got stuff on my mind."

"Me?"

He shook his head. "Unfortunately not. It’s personal stuff."

"The same personal stuff you mentioned the other day?" she wanted to know.

"Yeah. I guess I’m a really crappy date tonight."

Cordelia smirked. She didn’t care if he was a crappy date or not; Liam was good-looking and danced well. And he looked perfect on her arm. She could see the looks of jealousy in several girls’ eyes. "Maybe I can distract you."

"A distraction would be greatly appreciated."

The couple danced for another fifteen minutes without interruption. Liam found himself able to take his mind off his problems while he was dancing with the brunette. She proved to be a very good distraction. That is, until Riley showed up.

Riley entered the Bronze looking for his girlfriend, thinking she might have come to hang out with her friends. She hadn’t been home when he called. They hadn’t said more than a few words to each other that day at school; Buffy had been quite distant. He figured it had something to do with her embrace with Liam the night before but he didn’t call her on it. Instead, he chose to confront the other man, whom Riley considered to be a threat to his and Buffy’s relationship. And when he didn’t see Buffy at the club, he went straight for Liam.

Walking directly toward the dancing couple without so much as saying hello to his friends, Riley tapped Liam on the shoulder. "I need to talk to you."

Cordelia and Liam broke apart, the female giving the intruder an icy glare. "Can’t you see we’re busy? Buzz off, Finn."

"What do you need?" Liam asked.

"I need to talk to you." He shot a look toward Cordelia. "Alone, if you don’t mind."

"Fine." He turned his attention to his date. "I’ll just be gone a few minutes."

"You’d better be."

Riley led the way to the alley next to the club where they could talk in private. The icy glare returned, only this time on Liam, when he reached his side.

"What’s going on, Riley?"

"I think I should be asking you the same question, don’t you think? Where’s Buffy?"

Liam was totally baffled. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"Where’s my girlfriend?"

"I don’t know, she’s *your* girlfriend. I haven’t seen her since school this afternoon. Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Not quite. I also want to know what’s going on between you and Buffy. And don’t say nothing because I’ll know you’re lying."

"There is honestly nothing happening," Liam assured his childhood friend.

"Really? Could have fooled me. You two looked awfully cozy last night on her back porch. What was that all about?"

Disgusted, Liam shook his head. "Look, if you want answers, I suggest you get them from Buffy, not me. I’m not the right person to ask."

As Liam turned around to walk back into the club, Riley shouted, "You’re in love with her!"

He stopped dead in his tracks and faced his old friend. "Aren’t you?"

"Yes, I am. Buffy and I were happy until you came along. Everything was perfect. Then you moved back to Sunnydale, and all of a sudden the world as I know it is askew."

"I didn’t come back to throw off your life," Liam shot at the sandy-haired man. "That was the last thing on my mind. I had no idea you were even seeing her."

"Well, you know now."

"What do you want?"

"I want my life back the way it was while you were in L.A.. When I had Buffy all to myself, before you consumed her every waking thought," Riley said. "Before you tried to take her away from me."

The dark-haired senior stared unblinking, unable to believe what Riley was accusing him of. "You think I’m trying to steal Buffy from you? Are you serious?"

"You didn’t deny being in love with her."

"No, I didn’t, because I’m not even going to dignify that with a response while you’re in this…this mood of yours. I’m with Cordelia now, in case you couldn’t see. I have no designs on Buffy. And even if I did, I would never steal her from someone she wants to be with. I’m not that kind of person."

"I don’t believe you," Riley told him. "I’m sorry, Liam, but I don’t."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I can’t make you believe me, and I don’t have the energy to convince you right now. Let’s just say that if I wanted Buffy, she’d be mine already."

"What about last night?"

"I am not at liberty to say. If you want to know why I was over there with her, ask Buffy. Telling you is her decision, not mine."

By the look in his eyes, Riley could tell Liam wasn’t lying. In all the years he’d known him, he never heard him lie. "Can I ask you something and get an honest answer?"

"Shoot."

"Are you in love with Buffy?" Riley needed to know.

"Yes," Liam answered without a moment’s hesitation. "But I’m not about to turn her life upside down. She wants to be with you and that’s something I’m accepting. Is there anything else?"

He shook his head. "No. I’m done." ‘Yes, I’m done.’

***

12

// Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part where you’re breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile
All the world loves a clown \\

With raised eyebrows, Buffy walked up the driveway following school Thursday afternoon. Riley had just dropped her off after classes let out for the day, and she was surprised to find her father’s car parked in the driveway. He usually worked until five-thirty.

"Dad?" she called as she closed the front door behind her. The house was as quiet as a mouse.

Her father came into the living room, a somber expression on his face. "I’m right here, honey."

"How come you’re home so early?" Buffy wanted to know. "Did Mom call? Is she coming home today?"

"I think you should sit down," Mr. Summers suggested.

Her heart pounded uncontrollably in her chest. Something wasn’t right; Mr. Summers didn’t need to say the words. "She’s not coming home tonight, is she?"

"Sit down and I’ll explain."

"It’s bad. It is, isn’t it?" A lump formed in the back of her throat. "Just tell me, Dad. I can handle it."

He didn’t say anything for a moment, taking a deep breath in preparation. When he’d heard the diagnosis several hours earlier, it took some time for it all to sink in. "The doctor got the test results back late this morning. And it’s not exactly the news we’d been hoping for. It’s a tumor."

The devastated teenager slumped down to the couch, her legs unable to support her weight anymore. It took nearly a minute before she could speak again. "A-A tumor? Is he sure?"

"Yes, without a doubt. The doctor still wants to run a few more tests, of course. Your mother is going to be having surgery in two weeks."

"Two weeks? But that’s Christmas!"

"I know. He doesn’t want to wait for too long in case it progresses too far. The surgery is going to determine whether the tumor is benign or malignant, then we’ll go from there."

Buffy bit her lip. "Which one do we want it to be?"

"Benign is the better of the two. Your mother will have to go through chemotherapy and possibly radiation, and she’ll be staying in the hospital until Saturday afternoon. There’s still a couple more tests left to run."

"You said that already," Buffy reminded him. She knew that it was killing her father inside and he was trying his best not to show it. "Are we going to see her tonight after we eat dinner?"

"No. She requested that we stay home. Truthfully, I think she wanted to be alone to think about things," he informed his daughter.

"Is that such a good idea? I mean, leaving her alone tonight?"

Mr. Summers shrugged his shoulders. "It’s what she wanted. I couldn’t very well say no to her."

Feeling stable enough to stand on her own two feet, Buffy got up from the couch. "Do you mind if I go up to my room for a while? I have some homework to do."

"Sure, go ahead." It was a lie, that he knew. But he understood that Buffy needed to sort through things given the shock she’d just been given.

Slowly but surely she climbed the stairs to her bedroom. Once the door closed safely behind her for privacy, she threw herself face-down on the bed and sobbed.

***

// Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played
No more masquerade, you’re one lonely star \\

Mr. Summers knocked on Buffy’s bedroom door at seven-thirty that evening, holding the cordless phone in his hand. When she responded, he opened the door and handed her the phone, smiling slightly at his daughter’s visitor. "You have a phone call, honey." "Thanks, Dad." She took the phone from her father and put it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Buffy."

"Riley," she replied, surprised to hear his voice on the other end of the line. "What are you doing?"

"Just sitting at home. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Bronze tonight. The whole gang is supposed to be there."

She frowned. Going out and having fun with her boyfriend was the last thing she felt like doing. "Thanks for the invite, but I’m going to have to take a raincheck. I don’t feel much like going out."

"Do you want me to come over instead?" he asked. "It’s been so long since we really spent some quality time together."

"I’m sorry, Ri. I’d rather be alone tonight. Spend a quiet night at home with my parents. You understand, don’t you?"

"Yeah, I guess so. Is something wrong? Are you mad at me or something?"

"Not at all. Look, I’ll see you tomorrow morning," she said, trying to rush him off the phone.

Riley switched the receiver from one ear to the other. "Buffy, if something was wrong, you’d tell me, right?"

"You know I would. ‘Night, Riley."

"Good night."

She turned off the phone and placed it on the desk. "Sorry about that."

"Don’t worry about it," Liam told her. "I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Riley doesn’t know about your mother."

"You got that right."

He eyed her suspiciously. "Do you mind if I ask why not? He’s your boyfriend, doesn’t he have a right to know? Why keep it from him?"

"Because I don’t want everyone to pity me. You are the only person I’ve told about my mother’s condition and I want to keep it that way for a while. I just won’t want everyone to look at me and think ‘Hey, that’s the girl whose mother is sick in the hospital with a brain tumor.’ I’m trusting you to keep this between us. Not even Willow needs to know. Not yet, anyway."

"You’ll have to tell them eventually."

"I know. I’m waiting."

He nodded in understanding, having been where Buffy was earlier that year. "All right. Then can I at least ask why you told me instead of someone closer to you?"

Buffy looked at Liam, his question catching her off-guard. "You know, I don’t know for sure. I guess I felt like I could talk to you, like maybe you’d understand for some reason."

"I do." He took a deep breath. "I understand because I’ve been where you are, Buffy. I lost someone very close to me to a brain tumor. She died a couple months ago."

"Are you saying this in hopes of making me feel better? ‘Cause it’s not working."

"I’m saying it because you need to know. Last winter my friend was diagnosed with a malignant tumor. Her name was Paige. We’d been friends since my first day at Hemery High; we even dated a few times but we decided to just stay friends. Anyway, she’d been suffering from severe headaches and dizziness and blurry eyesight. They found out it was a tumor a couple weeks later."

"What happened?" she wanted to know.

Liam turned his gaze downward; talking about Paige’s death still proved to be difficult for him. "When she went in for surgery, it was already too late. The tumor was too large to remove without causing serious damage to her brain. And it had been growing for so long that it spread. Very quickly. Paige was given six months to live."

"How long did she…did she live?"

"Seven-and-a-half months. A week before school started she passed away. That’s why I came back to Sunnydale; I couldn’t stand being there without her. It got too hard," Liam explained.

"She’s why you didn’t come home this summer to visit," deduced Buffy.

"Yes. I didn’t tell you this to scare you, that’s the furthest thing from my mind. I wanted you to know I feel for you and I sympathize with what you’re going through, even though the relationships are different. And if you ever need anything – whether it be someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on – I’ll be here for you. I mean that."

"Thank you. I have a feeling I’ll be taking you up on that."

"I hope you do."

***

13

// I’ve always been in love with you
Always with you
I guess you’ve always known it’s true
You know it’s true \\

Christmas was upon the gang before any of them realized it. The two weeks prior to the holiday had flown by so quickly, everyone having different things going on to occupy their thoughts. Willow and Oz were busy debating what to buy for their friends and for each other, Liam was worried about Buffy, Riley was concerned that his girlfriend had been having second thoughts about their relationship, and Buffy was busy with her mother’s medical crisis.

"How are things in Sunnydale?" Mr. O’Neal asked his son during the two hour drive to L.A.. Liam had chosen to spend Christmas with his father seeing as his mother, stepfather and half-sister celebrated Hanukkah.

He shrugged his broad shoulders, staring out the window. "It’s okay, I guess. Not too much to complain about."

"Your mother tells me you’ve been seeing someone."

"Yeah. Cordelia Chase."

Mr. O’Neal was impressed with his son’s choice of female companionship. "Cordelia Chase? As in Howard Chase’s daughter? I hear she’s a real beauty."

"She’s very pretty. Brown hair and big brown eyes. And a lot of fun to go out with."

"Why do I get the feeling you’re not exactly brimming with joy?"

Liam turned and looked at his father. They’d always shared a special connection; Mr. O’Neal could practically read his mind. Sometimes knowing that scared the hell out of the teenager. His father never let him get away with anything. "Cordy’s great…for someone else maybe, but not for me. I like her and we always have a great time together. I guess my heart’s not in it."

"Is there another girl?"

"What makes you think that?"

Mr. O’Neal smiled knowingly. Oh how he missed having a teenager around all the time; his son kept him young. "Call it intuition. You’ve got that look, Liam."

He snorted, hating that his feelings were so obvious. "That ‘look’, as you call it, used to get me teased all the time. Paige liked to tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve. And here I thought I was being secretive. To answer your question, yes, there’s another girl."

"Then why aren’t you with her instead of Cordelia Chase?" the older man wanted to know.

"She has a boyfriend. He’s an old friend of mine from years back, I can’t steal her from him, not that she’d choose me over him anyway," Liam admitted.

"Anyone I’d know?" Though he doubted it. It had been years since he lived in Sunnydale.

Liam nodded. "I’d say so. It’s Buffy."

"Buffy Summers? *Little* Buffy Summers?"

"She’s not so little anymore, Dad. She’s fifteen, the same age as Willow. And she’s beautiful and sweet and dating Riley Finn."

"How long has this been going on?"

"They’ve been together for six months, although I think it’s seven months now."

"I meant how long have you had these feelings for her? I don’t recall you mentioning her while you were living with me for all those years."

Staring out the window once again, Liam had to think before answering honestly. "For a long time, I think. Longer than I ever really imagined. But it didn’t hit me until I saw her again at school. Buffy blew me away."

"Have you told her?"

He nearly laughed out loud at his father’s question. "Tell her? No way. I don’t have a death wish. Riley’d kill me, and Buffy and I didn’t exactly hit it off when we saw each other again. Now that we’re finally starting something, she has more important things on her mind."

"Like her boyfriend?"

"If only it were that simple. No, Mrs. Summers has a brain tumor. She goes in for surgery Christmas Day. I’ve been helping Buffy through it because she doesn’t want anyone else knowing, not even Riley. And I’ve been where she is, I can sympathize."

Mr. O’Neal switched lanes to pass a truck. "That’s horrible. Have you told her about what happened to Paige?"

"Yes."

A minute of silence followed, neither of them saying anything. They just looked out the window. Liam wanted to spend the next four days forgetting about the woes of his love life. His father sensed this and broached a change of subject.

"I saw Patti Burkhardt at the grocery store the other day with Ashley. They wanted to know how you were doing since you left."

"What did you tell them?" Patti Burkhardt was Paige’s mother and Ashley was Paige’s sixteen-year-old sister.

"That you are doing okay and miss everyone around here. When I told them you’re spending the holidays in Los Angeles they wanted me to have you come over one evening. Apparently they have some things of Paige’s to give you."

Liam closed his eyes, recalling the last time he’d seen Paige’s family. It was the day after her funeral. It had been hard for him to face them after that, and he left for Sunnydale nearly two months later. "I’ll give them a call when we get home."

"Good. They miss you, I can tell."

"I miss them, too. Look, do you mind if we talk about something else?"

He saw how uncomfortable his son was becoming. "Sure. You know, now might be a good time to mention the good news. Amelia’s going to have a baby."

"What? She’s pregnant?" Liam asked incredulously. Amelia was his father’s new wife.

"Three-and-a-half months along. She’s due in late May or early June. You’re going to have another brother or sister."

"Great." ‘Just great.’

***

// You took my love for granted
Why, oh why?
The show is over, say goodbye \\

"Come on, Buffster," Xander began. The gang – minus Liam – were sitting around a table at the Expresso Pump discussing their Christmas plans. "You haven’t told us what you’re doing for Christmas yet."

She took a sip of her decaffeinated tea. "The usual. Tree, nog, roast beast. Nothing out of the ordinary," she lied. She wasn’t about to tell them she’d be spending Christmas Day at Sunnydale Memorial Hospital. "You?"

"Well, I’ll be doing my annual camp out," Xander stated. "Sleeping out in the backyard and gazing at the stars. And avoiding my family at all costs."

"Sounds like fun," Buffy commented. ‘Way more fun than my day.’ "What about you, Willow?"

"I’m Jewish, people!" she exclaimed. "Not everybody worships Santa."

"Sorry, Wills," apologized Xander. "I guess we kinda forgot. If you want, you can camp out with me, I’ve got an extra sleeping bag. Bring Liam along with you."

The redhead shook her head at her friend’s offer. "That’s okay, Xand. Oz is coming over and we’re gonna watch some movies. Besides, Liam’s staying with his dad until Thursday."

"He is?" questioned Buffy. It was disappointing to hear; she’d been hoping he would keep her company at the hospital. "He never said anything about it."

"I guess it was a last-minute thing. Since my parents don’t celebrate Christmas, he decided to go to L.A.."

"Go where the presents are. Smart idea," Xander said.

Riley, who sat next to Buffy, put his hand on her knee. "If you’re not doing anything special on Christmas Day, you can come over to my house and have dinner with me and my family. They’d love to have you over, Buffy."

His girlfriend flashed him a small smile. "Thanks, Ri, but I think I’m just going to have a quiet Christmas with my family."

"What’s going on with you lately? You’ve been giving me the brush-off for weeks now," he accused.

Willow and Xander watched with interest Buffy’s reaction, their eyebrows raised and waiting for her to blow. They, too, had noticed Buffy’s distance lately but hadn’t called her on it the way her boyfriend had just done.

"Nothing’s going on. I’ve got some things I’m dealing with that have been taking up some of my time. I’m sorry if I haven’t been able to devote twenty-four/seven to you, Riley," she snapped.

"I didn’t mean it like that."

"Sure you didn’t."

Willow decided to jump to Riley’s defense. "It’s not just Riley, Buffy. I’ve noticed it, too. And so has Xander. We’re worried about you."

"Don’t be. I’m fine."

"No you’re not."

"Just leave me alone!" Buffy shouted. "It’s getting late, I’m gonna head home."

"You just got here half an hour ago," Xander reminded her. "It’s still early, only eight o’clock."

Buffy grabbed her purse. "I’m tired. See you all later. And Merry Christmas."

Not even bothering to give her boyfriend a goodbye kiss, she headed in the direction of Revello Drive, wishing Liam were there. At least he would understand.

***

TBC...

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