She let the invitation fall from her hands. It couldn’t be possible, Angel and Cordelia getting married? She had found the invitation hidden under some magazines. She had been curious when she saw that the envelope was from Cordelia and addressed to Willow. She knew that they talked on occasion for demon purposes but the pretty pick paper was too much to ignore.
She slid to the floor, how long had Willow known about Angel and Cordelia? Why would she keep it from her? Why would Angel marry that bitch Cordelia? Wasn’t she good enough for him? Didn’t he love her anymore? He said that she should have babies and sunshine. Is he going to give that to her
He said at their last meeting that things were rough with her dying and she needed to go home and talk to her friends and not call him. She had never been able to utter a word before he hopped back into his car. He had looked back at her and said forever with a sad smile. Didn’t he understand she needed him? Her soul needed him, it cried out to him every hour of the day.
Forever was forever right?
She felt the tears fall and ignored them; she collected herself and walked upstairs to her room and silently shut the door and locked it. A rule that had come to form in this house was that no one locked their door anymore, but she didn’t care about anything anymore so who gives a shit about rules. She opened up the closet and dug to the bottom where her chest was and opened it up and grabbed the old jacket Angel had given her. She grabbed another wrapped item and walked over to her bed and picked up the phone.
She quieted her sobs and dialed the number she knew from heart. The phone rang until the answering machine picked up and she hoped to hell Angel didn’t answer the phone.
“You have reached Angel Investigation, we are taking a small holiday for a celebration,” Cordelia said in a happy ‘I’m in love’ sort of way. “If your calling about the wedding its at six tomorrow night in the court yard of the Hyperion,” beep.
Buffy shuttered and wasn’t sure she could actually speak.
“Hi Cordelia and…An...Angel, ImhappyforyourbothIwishyouhappiness,” she rushed out and hung up the phone.
She sat back on her bed and let the sobs flow. This was killing her she had thought he would come back to her.
Forever was forever right? They were soul mates right?
“What a piece of crap,” She croaked.
She unwrapped the item she had grabbed out of the closet and examined it closely. She never understood why she had kept Faiths knife. Symbolic huh? She stared at it for a while and heard the phone ring and ignored it. She didn’t even feel the first slice on her wrist or the second on her other wrist. She felt the hot liquid fall down her arm.
So maybe this is what she had to do to get some peace. As the light faded she quietly hoped that Willow didn’t try to bring her back again. She would probably kill her for it. Would she go to Heaven or Hell for suicide? Didn’t really matter though, she was already living in Hell now.
“Forever,” she croaked and everything started to feel wonderful for once. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in and dizziness took over and she felt the tears one more time.
No more crying over you baby.
It hurts too much
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