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Midnight Secrets

Author: Jill

Disclaimer: let me check ... nope, still don't own them. Sigh! I'm not making any money off this. I've taken several lines from the Buffy-season-six-episode "Flooded". This episode was written by Douglas Petrie and Jane Espenson.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: B/A (strong in this part!), and the usual pairings from the show
Distribution: my site (http://www.never-ending-love.de), Land of Denial, if you have any of my stories, take it; anybody else tell me where it goes
Summary: Set directly after "Midnight Shade" and within "Flooded". This is set into canon, in an attempt to make the whole series more B/A-friendly. But don't expect too many smootchies!
Spoilers: the whole B/A-canon to be sure, follows loosely "Midnight Angel", "Midnight Whispers", "Midnight Rainbow", "Midnight Hour", "Midnight Memory", "Midnight Protector", "Midnight Letter", "Midnight Encounters", "Midnight Eyes, "Midnight Lovers", "Midnight Kiss", "Midnight Song", "Midnight Rose", "Midnight Velvet", "Midnight Sun", and "Midnight Shade". You should probably read it to understand this. And you should have seen season 6/3 or at least read the transcripts (http://www.psyche.kn-bremen.de), or you won't know what they're talking about.
Feedback: oh yes, please

NOTE: All the stuff concerning Jonathan and his friends happens. It's too good to miss. Yet, I haven't put it into this story. This story concentrates mainly on Buffy and Angel, and how they and their friends deal with the new situation. Because Angel is part of everything in my series, I have to get him into it, and change events, how I think they might have happened, had he been there.

A knock on the door woke Angel the next morning, and a moment later a blond head appeared in the doorway.

"Hi," Tara smiled a bit embarrassed seeing Slayer and vampire lying on the bed.

"Hi," Angel replied, shifting slightly when he realised Buffy was stirring beside him.

"I- I didn't w-want to disturb you," the blond witch apologized, smiled again, "B-but Giles has arrived."

"Thanks," Angel smiled back at her, glad it had been Tara who had found them on the bed. He didn't know the witch very well, but so far his impression had been one of a compassionate, intelligent girl.

With another nod, Tara took a step back and closed the door.

"Who was it?," Buffy murmured from Angel's side, and the vampire turned to look at her, kissing her gently on the forehead.

"Tara," he told her. "Giles just arrived."

She nodded, but didn't open her eyes. "I need to take a shower," she replied, "I'm sure I smell awful."

"Like Roses," he whispered into her ear and this time kissed her lips.

A smile tugged at her lips, and it warmed his heart, "Liar," she said, kissing him back.

After only a short time Angel pulled back, smiling too, "We better not continue this, or we might not be able to go down any time soon."

"I don't care," she murmured, tugging at his neck, trying to pull him down to her. "Kiss me."

"Buffy," he scolded gently, "We can't. Think about Giles."

She sighed, opened her eyes, "Right, Giles." Her lower lip stuck out in a little, adoring pout, "Adults always take away all the fun."

He chuckled, glad to get a glimpse of the old Buffy. At least for the moment. He didn't delude himself though. They had a long, hard way to go, but it was good to know that there was still enough of the old Buffy inside of her.

Carefully Angel disentangled himself from her and stood. "Go, have a shower, I'm going to talk to Giles for a moment." He was almost out of the door, when her voice held him back.

"I'm scared, Angel," she whispered, looking at him through fearful eyes.

The vampire closed the door again, walked back to the bed, sat down and took her hand, looking at her intently, "I know," he said gently. "But Giles will understand. There's a lot more to him than we know. He wasn't called Ripper for nothing."

"You think?," she asked, her voice small.

"I'm sure," he assured her, leaned forward and kissed her, slowly, gently. "And I'll be there all the time."

"Okay," she nodded, frowned slightly. He was about to get up again, but she held on to his hand, "Angel."

"Yeah?"

"I love you. I know I ... I hurt you with some of the things I-"

He cut her off, taking her head between his hands, "Buffy, remember. We never need to pretend with each other. Yes, it hurt when you told me you would've preferred to stay instead of coming back to me, but ... I understand. I love you, too. Remember, what I once told you. Nothing can change that."

Her lips twitched, and her eyes moistened, remembering his words, "Not even death, I know," she replied. She swallowed, "And now I'm going to have my shower." Her voice was firmer now, and she tried another smile. "I love you," she said again.

He smiled, too. "I know."

*****

"Shouldn't you be at school?"

Dawn sighed and leaned back, shifting on the cold floor of the crypt, "School," she snorted, shaking her head slightly. "My sister just came back from the dead. Besides, it's really none of your business."

"I told the Slayer I'd take care of you."

Lifting her head, the girl stared at the blond vampire, "You did, huh?" Looking back into her lap, she pretended to study her fingernails, while a frown appeared on her forehead, "Is that the reason you're always around me?"

"It's part of it," Spike replied, already starting to hate the conversation. Humans were always so complicated with their feelings, while vampire saw everything clear and easy. He walked over to a chair, where he had thrown his jacket the night before and reached into the pocket for his cigarettes. Talking was always easier with a good smoke in your hand.

"So ... so you ...," Dawn's frown deepened, but still she didn't look up, her fingers entwined, her knuckles turned white.

"So ...," Spike lit his smoke, took a deep drag, "What?"

"Well," she did look up then, tossing her hair back, she looked determined, but only after a moment it faded, and she suddenly seemed small and frightened, "Are you my friend, Spike?"

He slowly blew out smoke, watching the circles swirl through the air, then taking a deep breath, he shot her a short glance, before making himself comfortable in his favourite chair. "Nibblet, I'm an evil vampire," he said, "I'm nobody's friend."

"Yeah, sure," she scoffed. "Really evil. You can't hurt a fly."

"Wrong," his gaze sharpened on her. "I can hurt a fly. All I can't hurt is a human. Thanks to Captain Cardboard and his friends. But don't think I wouldn't if I could. I'm still a vampire."

"I know," she grinned at him. "A really bad, big vampire."

He rolled his eyes, then shook his head and chuckled, "Don't let your sister hear that."

"Buffy would have a fit," Dawn agreed, "But at least she would talk to me," she added, averting her eyes again.

Spike drew his brows together, studied her bent head, her entwined hands. "She's going through a lot right now," he said, "Dying, and coming back for that matter, isn't easy."

"Yeah, sure," her head came up again, her eyes challenging him, "She couldn't stop calling out for Angel, but she barely notices I'm here."

"She died for you, bit," the vampire said quietly. There was no way he could tell her what he suspected. Besides, she would hardly be able to understand it. Hell, he was just starting to. And he was almost two hundred years old. He had always known there was some sort of special relationship between his do-gooder of grand-sire and the Slayer. But obviously there was a lot more to it than he'd imagined.

"Yeah," Dawn agreed after a moment, sniffling slightly. Then she looked at him through tearful eyes, "She's so different, Spike, what if ... if she's never going to be the same?"

He didn't have an answer for that one, and he hated it. God, life was complicated. And with horror he realised he was already much more human he wanted. Damn chip, damn Slayer, damn love. Hell why hadn't he taken Dru on, on her offer, and left with her. No, fool he was, he had to stay.

He looked at the girl, and saw her watching him expectantly, hopefully. She wanted him to tell her it would all be okay, he knew that. She wouldn't even ask twice, if he'd give her some nice fairy-tale answer, just to make her feel better. But somehow, he couldn't do that. He looked into those blue, frightened eyes, and suddenly felt a pang of something he couldn't explain, didn't even want to, but that moment, he knew he couldn't lie.

"I don't know, bit," he said, "I don't know." His darn grand-sire better made sure she would be alright again.

*****

Giles looked up when he heard footsteps on the stairs, and he rose when he saw Angel enter the living-room only seconds later.

"Angel," he held out the hand to the vampire, giving him a warm and grateful smile. He had been surprised to hear Angel was around, but considering the circumstances, Giles realised he was glad he was here.

"Giles," the vampire greeted him, motioning for him sit down again. "Buffy's just taking a shower. She'll be down soon."

Moistness entered the watcher's eyes, and he removed his glasses, "I could hardly believe when Willow told me..."

"I know," Angel nodded, sitting on a seat opposite to Giles, his face serious, where the watcher had expected him to smile. "It's pretty ... incredible."

"So," Giles put his glasses back on, "How is she?"

"Not bad, considering what happened," the vampire said cautiously, "She's still pretty shaken, and ... frightened."

"Of course," the watcher nodded, "that goes without saying. Experiencing hell, as you should know, has to be very disturbing."

Angel shifted in his seat, watching the other man carefully, "What exactly did Willow tell you?"

Giles sighed heavily, "Not very much. On the phone she only told me that ... Buffy was alive. Then today, she and the others had performed a spell, to save her from hell." He shook his head, frowning slightly, "Then she and Tara left to get something to eat for lunch."

The vampire nodded, crossing his arms and leaning back, "I don't know what kind of magick they used, Giles," he told the watcher. "To be honest, I was too ... shaken by the news to ask any further, but one thing I know for certain. You don't just get someone back from the dead by using some Woodoo. The sort of spell they must have used, has to be powerful," he made a meaningful pause, then added, "and probably very dangerous."

"Not necessarily," the watcher objected, "If she had been dead, yes, I agree, the spell had to be powerful, but getting her back from a demons dimension-"

"No," Angel cut in, uncrossing his arms, leaning closer to Giles, "They didn't bring her back from a demons dimension."

The watcher gasped slightly, looked at the vampire through startled eyes, "Wha- what do you mean. Of course they-"

"No," Angel interrupted again, knowing he was probably betraying Buffy's confidence now, but also knowing that it would be too much for her to go through this with Giles again. And if he knew one thing for sure, Angel knew that the watcher needed to know everything to get on the bottom of the things that had happened. After all, there wasn't only Buffy to consider, there was a baby too, a baby that had survived in a dead body.

"They didn't. Giles, she wasn't in hell. I'm not sure where she was exactly, but it wasn't hell, and certainly not a demons dimension. I was there, I know how it feels to be there. The way Buffy describes the place," he stood, began to pace the room, his movements jerky. "She says it was peaceful, and in the dream...," he trailed off, afraid he'd revealed too much already. The dream where she'd spoken to him was the most private thing they had ever shared, and he was only willing to tell as much as really necessary.

"She - she wasn't in-," Giles wasn't able to go on. With agitated motions, he pulled off his glasses and began to clean them intently, muttering something unintelligible.

"No, she wasn't," Angel confirmed again, stopping his pacing, facing the watcher. "Contrary to what Willow or someone else might have told you, she wasn't happy to come back."

"I-," Giles wanted to reply, but suddenly there was a noise in the hall and the next moment, Buffy was standing in the doorway, her hair still not completely dry, she had slipped into black trousers and a cream coloured turtleneck. She stared at Giles as if he wasn't quite real, her eyes huge, holding unshed tears.

The watcher was on his feet in a flash, his face breaking into a smile, "Oh God, Buffy," he looked at her, then rushed forward and enveloped her in a hug.

Buffy's arms came around him as well, and Angel saw her closing her eyes.

"You're alive." Giles' voice was hoarse with emotion. "You're here. And you're still," he groaned slightly, "remarkably strong."

"Huh?," the Slayer was a bit startled, then pulled back, realising what he meant. "Oh," she bit her lower lip. "Sorry."

"They all told me," the watcher said, "But I didn't really let myself believe-"

"I take a little getting used to. I'm still getting used to me," she replied, trying a smile, trying to joke.

Still overwhelmed, Giles struggled for words, "It's, uh ... you're..."

"A miracle?," she asked, rising a brow, her manner suddenly flippant. Angel knew what she was doing and his heart hurt, his gut turning into tiny knots. Why did she always think she had to be strong? No wonder, she had been weary and ready to let go. There was a long way to go, before she would let herself believe again.

The watcher's eyes turned warm, "Yes," he said fondly, "But then, I always thought so." He framed her face with his hands, his eyes turning moist.

Suddenly she let go of her reserve, wrapped her arms around him again, and held onto him, a tear slipping from her eye, "I'm so glad you're back, Giles," she whispered, meeting Angel's eyes over her watcher's shoulder. "So glad."

"I'm glad, too," Giles replied. "I'm glad, too."

*

"Angel told me that you don't believe you've been in ... ah ... a demons dimension," Giles said, sipping from the tea, Angel had made for them ten minutes ago. They were now sitting together in the Summers' living room, Giles on the sofa, and Buffy in the chair beside Angel's.

She bit her lower lip, her eyes flickering to Angel, then she reached over and Giles wasn't really surprised when she took the vampire's hand, holding onto it. Angel smiled at her fondly, squeezing her hand, and nodded. She nodded, too, "That's right," she said, looking back at Giles. "I don't know, but ... but I think I might have been in heaven."

"Good God," the watcher exclaimed, staring at her, the same way he'd stared at Angel before. "You mean ... you were really-"

"Dead, yeah," Buffy cut him off, giving him a wry smile. "I think I was dead. And it wasn't ... you know ... bad. I wasn't really me, but it felt good. It was comforting."

Giles took another sip from his tea, but his arm wasn't quite steady and so he spilled some of the content on his trousers. Muttering a curse, he put the cup down again, shook his head, "I ... I don't know what to say," he said honestly. "This ... I didn't expect this. Willow-"

"Willow doesn't have a clue," Buffy interrupted him again, her voice cool, detached. "I told her, I was in hell."

"What?," Angel and Giles asked unison.

"You didn't tell me that," the vampire directed his gaze at his lover. "Why?"

She only shook her head, let go of his hand, stood abruptly, and turned away.

Exchanging a short glance with Giles, Angel walked up behind her, putting his hands on her shoulders, "Buffy," he said softly, "Why?," he probed.

She shook her head again, wrapped her arms around her middle, then gave a small shrug, telling with the gesture how helpless, how lost she felt at the moment.

"Oh, Buffy," he gently turned her around, tilted up her face, to make her look at him?

Her eyes moistened instantly, "What else could I have said," she asked. desperately, "They were so ... so proud ... a-and happy, and ... God, how could I look at Dawn and tell her ...," she started to cry then and without another thought, Angel pulled her to the seat, he'd occupied just before, and onto his lap, holding her, stroking her, assuring her of his presence, and support.

"Shhh," he soothed, kissing her crown. "It's okay, love. It's okay."

"God, Angel," she sobbed, "D-Dawn hug-ged me, a-and t-t-told me, I was h-home..." More sobs were wracking through her body, and Angel tightened his arms around her, whispered soothing words in her ear.

"Oh, God," Giles whispered, watching the distressed Slayer and the vampire holding her in his arms. There was still a lot he didn't understand, but at the moment he had a very bad feeling. He was so concerned that he didn't even wonder why the vampire held the Slayer in his arms.

*

Buffy was cool and controlled when Willow and Tara returned from their shopping trip. They had talked a little bit more, after the Slayer had been able to calm down. She sworn the watcher to secrecy, let him promise, to never ever tell their friends about the truth, where she'd been during the months of her death. There was no way she could deal with Willow, should she ever know, what really had happened, and she knew for certain that Dawn would never be able to understand that her sister would have preferred to say, instead of coming back home.

"Hi, we're back," Willow chirped from the doorway, carrying bags continuing their breakfast. "We bought donuts, and beagles, all the goodies for watcher's with jet lag, or newly resurrected slayers," she joked, giving her friends a huge grin. "It's so great, Giles is back," she said then, looking at Buffy. "Don't you think, it's great."

"Yeah," the blond agreed, nodding at her, "It's wonderful." Her voice was blank, but her eyes were searching Giles, and he gave her a warm smile, telling her he understood how hard this was for her.

"I mean it's not that we couldn't do without you," Willow babbled on while Tara moved towards the kitchen to make coffee, "We had everything under control, right?," she looked at Buffy for confirmation, but the slayer stared right ahead, not really listening. She was glad when she felt Angel's hand enveloping hers, and squeezed it tightly, thanking him silently for his presence and his support.

The redhead frowned slightly at Buffy's back, then turned back to Giles, "Well, isn't it great, Buffy's back with us?"

"Yes, great," the watcher replied, not quite able to keep the sarcasm from his voice. He was glad Buffy was back, that went without saying, but he was far from happy about the circumstances. And he vowed he would talk to Willow about it. As soon as possible.

*

The house was quiet when darkness settled over it. Buffy stood in the middle of the living-room of her house, holding up a pillow, "I know," she said, her face wearing an expression that was a mixture of sarcasm and dry humor, "they're ... so cute you could die, but...it's all I got."

Giles laughed, "Think nothing of it, it's, it's ... uh ..whimsical." He took the pillow from her, tossed it onto the sofa, while Buffy was unfolding the sheet.

"They were mine when I was little," she explained. "Couldn't find the guest sheets," she added quietly, a slight frown appearing on her forehead, "Mom always did this stuff." She sighed, kneeled and tried to get the sheet fitting onto the sofa. "They don't actually fit."

Giles watched her for a moment, then leaned over to help.

"I blame the sofa," she said, standing up, "We need one of those pull-out kinds. The kind with no payments 'til two-thousand-and-infinity."

"What?," the watcher asked, slightly startled.

She sighed again, gave him a wry glance, "Oh, it's ... just money stuff." She sat down on the coffee table, "It turns out ... Mom left me some, and while I was dead, it got squandered on luxuries like ... food and clothing."

Giles sat down too, on the sofa, and looked at her from serious eyes, "How bad is it?"

"According to Anya, pretty bad," she answered.

"Does Angel know?," the watcher asked.

Her head snapped up, and when she saw the knowing look in his eyes, she sighed yet again, "Yeah. I told him. Last night. We ... uh ... kinda spent the night in my room."

"That's good," Giles said warmly, putting a hand on her thigh. Meeting her eyes, he smiled, "I'm glad you've got him to help. I'm sure he understands a lot of the things that are in your mind at the moment. And I know you haven't been close for a long time, but-"

"Actually," she interrupted him, taking a deep breath, "That's not quite true."

One of his brows rose, "It's not?"

"No," she shook her head in the negative, patted his hand, then stood and moved away from him, coming to stand close to the doorway. "You might have noticed him being around more often lately. I mean, before I ... died."

"Well, it was hard to miss," Giles agreed, "but I didn't think ... I mean," he stopped, frowning slightly, "Well, I know he came for your mother's funeral, and I'm glad you're still friends ...," he stopped again, staring at her for a long moment, "There's more to it, right?," he asked then.

"Yeah," she replied, crossing her arms in front of her body. "But you're tired now, and ... it's kinda hard to explain."

The watcher nodded slightly, "I see," he said, thinking that slowly the pieces were falling together. The times she'd gone away from Sunnydale without telling anyone where she went, Angel coming to help out, the way he'd behaved more than slightly protective of her, the way the vampire had spoken to him, the way he had held Buffy when she cried. There were so many hints, and now they started to make sense.

He looked at her seriously, "You are together again, aren't you." It wasn't really a question.

"Yes, we are," she answered nevertheless.

Giles nodded once, then stood, turned away from her for a moment, then back, to face her again, needing to understand, "But how?," he asked. "He left you because of many reasons, I'm aware of that, but I also know after once reverting into Angelus the biggest problem was his soul. I'm absolutely aware that I don't have a right asking-"

"Wrong," came Angel's voice from the hall and then he appeared behind Buffy in the doorway. His eyes were very serious, "If anyone has a right to ask, it's you. You have lost the most when it happened."

An image of Jenny Calender flickered through Giles' mind, her smile, her dark eyes, her full, kissable lips. But it was a memory, bittersweet, yet it didn't hurt the way it had done years ago. And again Giles was reminded that time could heal even the deepest wound. Or, he thought, looking at the couple in the doorway, maybe not.

Giles nodded again, "Yes, well," he stumbled over his first words, trying to sort through his feelings, seeing them standing together, acting as if they were one - again. There was a closeness between them, had always been, he'd admired, envied, and, at times, been afraid of. But now it seemed like a gift from heaven. The watcher didn't need a degree is psychology to realise how fragile the Slayer's state of mind was at the moment, and how important it was for her to have someone at her side, she trusted so completely.

"Is it right to assume that your soul is safe?," he asked looking at Angel.

"Yes," the vampire confirmed, squeezing Buffy's shoulder, he stepped fully into the room. "And if you're going to ask me, how, the answer is, I don't know. It just was. I haven't found an explanation, and frankly, I didn't care."

"Me neither," Buffy stepped at his side.

Nodding yet again, Giles still had a feeling there was more to the story, "So you're together since...?"

"Mom's funeral," the slayer replied, giving him an apologetic smile for not telling him earlier. "That's the reason we didn't tell anyone. Things were so crazy afterwards, and then," she shrugged, "it got so complicated, and I ... I was afraid you'd be angry for going behind your back all the time." Her voice became very small in the end, and Angel's arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her close. It was such a casual gesture, but Giles realised instantly how important it was.

"And you're sure about the soul?" He didn't like asking it again, but considering the consequences an error in that matter could have, he had to be sure, before he could give them his full consent.

Angel couldn't help the grin appearing on his face, "Yes, we're sure," he said. "Our ... uh ... affair ... wasn't quite platonic."

"Yes, yes," the watcher said quickly, blushing furiously, hating it.

"Giles," Buffy scolded gently, sitting down beside him, "You're old." She saw him frown and amended with a grin, "At least older than I am. How come you are so uncomfortable whenever someone mentions sex?"

"I'm not-," he started to protest, then gave her a sheepish smile. "Well, I'm shy," he said then, making the couple grin even more. "Okay, so sue me. It's not the general mention of sex, but thinking about you ... and ... I mean, you're like a daughter to me ... and ...", he trailed off, feeling oddly flustered.

"Oh, Giles," she put a hand on his arm, watching him through teary eyes, "That's good then," she smiled a very special smile of a sudden, and he saw her exchange a quick look with Angel, before she smiled at him again, "Because you're going to be a grand-dad soon."

"I ... what?," he stuttered. When it sunk in, his eyes widened, "You're pregnant?"

"Yes," she replied, looking at Angel again, who knelt down beside her, taking her free hand. "Angel and I are going to have a baby," she confirmed, then taking a deep breath, she went on, "And we'd really like to know how it is possible, and how it survived me being dead. We're counting on you in that area."

Blushing even more, Giles gazed at them, "Uh ... well ... I'm not sure ... I-"

"You are a trained watcher, Giles," Buffy interrupted his stammering, "You know everything."

"Well, I was more thinking along the lines of a Gynaecologist," he said dryly. He cleared his throat, "And you're absolutely certain, Angel is the only possible father?"

"Yes," Buffy answered quickly, firmly. "There is no doubt. I wasn't with another man since Riley. And to be Riley's it had to be born already."

"Yes, of course," Giles agreed, "Well, that's quite a surprise," he said finally, finding his cool again. "And maybe I should say congratulations."

"Thanks," Angel said, "but I think we're going to wait until we know more about it."

"But everything is alright with the baby," Buffy said, suddenly horrified. "I felt it, Angel. I know the baby is fine."

"That's not what I meant." Angel pulled her hand to his mouth, kissed it, "But I'm still a vampire. I was a vampire when the baby was conceived, and as far as I know vampires can't have children."

"Yes," Giles confirmed. "A dead body cannot produce living sperms."

"That's the first point. The second being how the child could have survived in a dead mother's body?" Angel kissed Buffy's hand again. "So you see there's a lot of questions, and we need answers. And we need them soon." He took a deep breath, "We also need to know what kind of spell Willow used, and how it might affect Buffy and the baby."

The slayer's eyes flickered to her lover for a moment, then to her watcher, "He is right, Giles," she said. "We need to know. Soon."

"Yes. You're right," he nodded, yawned, "But I'm suddenly feeling jet lag catching up with me. Can we talk first thing tomorrow morning? We could go the magic box, start research."

"Of course," Buffy stood in an instant, Angel beside her. "You must be beat."

Giles gave her a grateful smile, "Yes, I feel a bit worn out. The whole time difference, and then your ... surprising news. It's a lot to digest."

"Yes, I suppose it is," she said with a smile of her own. "We're going to leave you then," she took the vampire's hand, pulled him to the doorway. "Sleep tight."

"I will," he said. "You too."

He had already started to remove his coat when her voice came again, "Giles. Thanks for coming back so quickly."

Without turning, he nodded, "You're welcome. And Buffy, I can hardly wait to become a grandfather."

"I love you, Giles."

"That's good," he said gruffly, "I kind of like you, too."

A moment later he heard her hurrying up the stairs. He would talk to Willow first thing in the morning. And he wouldn't let her go before he had the answers he needed.

The End


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