By Tango
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. Of course.
DISTRIBUTION: Sure! Please just let me know.
SPOILERS: Wishverse (AU) Based on "The Wish" (S3) except everyone who died in the episode lived except for Cordelia. This begins after the final fight in the factory. Angel's soul is anchored in this one. (Some lines are borrowed from "Angel.")
FEEDBACK: Please let me know if you would like me to continue this fic!
RATING: R (for now)
LYRICS: All lyrics are by Radiohead.
***
Part One
//i'm still no one, and you're my star//
With dawn drawing near and no place to sleep, Buffy wandered through Sunnydale. She stumbled upon an abandoned mansion on Crawford Street and went inside. With her first step over the threshold, her body twisted with a strange feeling. She paused and cocked her head to the side, listening for the sounds of occupants.
Complete silence answered her and she entered. Her body hummed in the same manner it had when she first saw Angel inside that cage, bleeding and weak. She mistook it for compassion the first time and immediately pushed it aside. Compassion made a Slayer weak. Feelings and bonds broke concentration, caused death.
Her boots echoed loudly in the great room as she entered and she pivoted, looking around her for the person or thing that had to be there. It didn't take long to spot him, sleeping restlessly in the corner.
*Stake him,* her inner voice screamed as she watched his face, masked in pain, twitching with the horrors inside his dream. After a few seconds, she realized she was staring at him and backed away. She spun and began to run back out when she heard him speak, "Buffy?"
"What?" she demanded, turning back around to face the vampire who was struggling to his feet.
"I was worried about you," he said quietly, "I wasn't sure where you went after the fight, if you were safe."
"Why should you care?"
"I care," he answered, digging into her with chocolate soulful eyes.
"And why is that again?" She asked sarcastically, resting her weight squarely on both legs, prepared to slip into defensive stance if she needed to and ignoring the intensity of his gaze.
"You're my destiny."
"Oh great," she said, rolling her eyes, "We're back to that again. Are you *really* going to try to tell me that you're a good vampire? *Please* don't waste my time. We both know I'm not that stupid, *Angelus.*"
"So you've heard of me?" he asked, taking a step closer.
"Yeah," she said nodding, "When my first Watcher was gutted I went through the diaries. Very interesting stuff. So, you're ‘The Scourge of Europe.'"
"I was," he admitted with shame in his eyes.
"And what are you now? The Master's whipping boy? I heard you were a ruthless badass. I'm kinda disappointed really."
"My soul was restored," he answered, "I'm not Angelus anymore."
"Oh okay," she snorted, trying not to get lost in the eyes of the demon with the face of an Angel, "I guess I trust you now. I know how devious you are. Try this act on the next Slayer. I'm all stocked up on bullshit right now."
"For a hundred years I offered ugly death to everyone I met, and I did it with a song in my heart," he started.
"Now we're getting to the real stuff, but I feel a ‘but' coming. Are you going to tell me something changed that made you the fluffy, nice variety of demon?"
"I fed on a girl about your age... beautiful... dumb as a post... but a favorite among her clan," he continued, ignoring her comment.
"Her clan?"
"Romany," he explained waiting for recognition to cross her face. Seeing none, he elaborated, "Gypsies. The elders conjured the perfect punishment for me. They restored my soul."
"Yeah, you mentioned that already. Sounds like a horrible punishment. Really. What, they were all out of boils and blinding torment?" She said, diving into dark brown pools of sincerity. He couldn't possibly be good, could he? Buffy had killed throngs of vampires and demons in her time. She never met a vampire that was good. Never.
"When you become a vampire the demon takes your body, but it doesn't get your soul. That's gone. No conscience, no remorse... It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it's like to have done the things I've done... and to care. I haven't fed on a living human being since that day."
"You expect me just to buy that?" she asked, feeling her walls beginning to crumble. The way he was looking at her was making her skin blush. It was hungry, starving, in fact. Not like a vampire to a Slayer, but as a man to a woman. Since she was called and Merrick died, her new Watcher had forced her out of school and into full time Slayage. At first, she resisted and tried to keep some semblance of a normal life, but when her parents were killed, she simply gave up.
"No," he answered sadly, "I don't expect you to, but it's the truth. I know you need a place to stay. You can stay here if you like. I won't bother you."
"Yeah, it's probably a good idea for a Slayer to shack up in a vampire's crypt," she said stifling a yawn.
***
//as the world does turn
and if London burns
i'll be standing//
Drusilla collapsed in a scream and Spike bolted across the room to catch her before she reached the floor. She moaned in pain and fell into short pants, as if she were out of breath, as if she needed breath.
"What is it, ducks?" he asked, cradling her in his arms and carrying her to the bed.
"The Hellmouth," she whispered, "it cries."
"Why's that, pet?" he asked, looking over her with worry. After over a century of being her lover and mate, Spike still felt helpless when the visions came over her. Angelus always grinned and prodded every gory detail from her, feeding off her pain, but Spike recoiled from it, dreaded it.
"Daddy's angry, in pain. Someone's hurt him," she panted, "The bad Slayer has finally come. Killed the Master. Daddy's planning and the Hellmouth is trembling, psst, psst, psst...Spike?"
"Yes, love."
"The children are dying," she said as she began to sob, "Melting into the wind."
Spike pulled her into his arms as tears fell from her insane, black eyes. He knew who the children were. The children of the Master. Their brethren were in danger from their Sire.
***
//i'm just lying in a bar with my drip feed on//
"This is going to be fun," Willow purred as she moved around the Master's desk to sit on Xander's lap, who occupied the chair. His pale hand moved over her belly, feeling her insides shiver with delight
"Yeah, baby," he said as he nuzzled her neck before biting it and licking the unbroken skin. She pressed against him and swung her legs over the arm of the chair, so she could take advantage of his lips.
"I want Puppy," she pouted, catching his lower lip between her teeth and sucking it into her mouth, "Wanna play."
"We'll get him back," Xander promised, letting his hands roam over her leather clad body.
"Really?" she said as delight filled her green eyes.
"‘Course," he answered, moving his hand to her breast, "Now I wanna play."
"Might have to wait a bit for that, mate," Spike said from the doorway with Drusilla on his arm. She swayed and hummed with a smile before whispering loud enough for everyone to hear, "They're horrible, Spike. Yummy."
"Love that, don't you, pet?" Spike said as she nodded emphatically.
"Who the hell are you?" Xander said calmly, standing after Willow moved from his lap.
"We're the new Big Bad in town, children," Spike answered, lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke across the room at them.
"She hurt Daddy," Dru announced with narrowed eyes. Her blood red high heels clicked like the closing of a coffin as she approached Willow. She raised backhanded the younger vampiress and licked her lips, "Shame on you."
"Rode him like a pony," Willow said, licking her own blood off her lips, "I miss Puppy."
"This is our town," Xander said, moving to Willow's side and slipping an arm around her waist.
"Yeah, mate," Spike answer, "See, it *was* your town. With the Master gone and Angelus all soul having, the throne belongs to us."
***
//i want to live and breathe
i want to be part of the human race//
Angel stood in the doorway, watching The Slayer asleep in his bed. He could barely believe after hours of debate that she simply fell asleep. They started out standing and eventually sat ten feet from each other on the marble floor. As she argued with him, her eyes began to droop and finally while in a sitting position, she closed her eyes and began to fall over. He scrambled across the floor to catch her before her head hit the floor and managed to reach out one large hand in time to cradle her tousled blonde head.
Even as weak as he was, lifting her into his arms and carrying her to his bed was effortless. He knew part of that was adrenaline and exhilaration. Her body was so warm, so alive and it had been almost a hundred years since he'd touched human flesh. Her heartbeat scampered inside her chest and he knew immediately that his first reaction to her was right on - he loved this little Slayer.
He laid her in the dusty bed and regretted that the blanket he pulled over her had lain in wait for so long. He moved quickly away and stood in the doorway, watching her face. He wanted to see peace there, but was not rewarded with the sight. Even in sleep, she appeared upset and tormented. The vulnerability that she hid while awake, however, showed itself in her slumber and he was almost convinced that if he waited long enough, she would cry out.
He finally moved away and found his newly purchased supply of blood in the kitchen. He fed for the second time since he had been freed and felt his wounds beginning to slowly heal. He had been starving for months. Willow had knowingly kept him hungry to slow his healing and his wounds had festered more and more with each of her play sessions. His golden eyes flashed angrily when he thought of the striking redhead and her torture of him. He couldn't wait to walk through her dissipating dust. Ridding the earth of that bitch was high on hid "To Do" list once he was back in full strength.
With his body full of two pints of blood, he crawled onto the long counter top and fell immediately into the deep sleep of the undead.
***
//when the power runs out we'll just hum//
"Don't be ridiculous, William," Darla said as she swept nobly into the room like a member of the royal court.
"Why are you...I mean, why did-" Spike started, tripping over his words.
"Grandmum!" Drusilla exclaimed with glee.
"Really, Drusilla," Darla said with a sigh, "Please, don't call me that...I came to take my place at the throne."
"How did you know?" Spike asked, trying not to cower in fear from the petite blonde. Looks were deceiving and the small woman was a force of nature that destroyed all that moved into her path. Willow and Xander, however, understood. They both paled considerably when she sauntered in the room. Any thought of insubordination was quickly disappearing.
"Always power hungry," she said to Spike with disapproval, "The whole world knows of the Master's demise. I've come to carry on in his place."
Darla sized up the other two fledglings in the room, looking them over closely, "You two are very powerful. You'll do well here if you understand the rules."
"Rules," Willow pouted, "are no fun."
Before her last word reached her red lips, Darla was at her throat, pressing her against the wall and partaking of her blood. Xander stood slack jawed at the attack and thought about intervening for a couple of seconds before he realized that it was not a good idea to cross this new Master. Darla licked her lips as she pulled back and looked into Willow's smiling green eyes. Willow lusted after the violence, loved pain and knew she would love Darla's reign over her. She loved to torment, but she adored it when someone else tormented her.
"You've tasted my boy," she said, before licking her pale throat once more.
"Puppy?" Willow said, uttering the word like a child.
"Angel," Xander explained.
"Yes," Darla said, releasing Willow's throat, "he's my mate. From now on all his abuse will be left to me. Understand?"
Willow nodded her agreement sadly.
"And," Darla continued, "that includes sleeping with him."
Willow's eyes shot open with surprise and prepared to object but the look in Darla's eyes made her close her mouth.
"He's *my* mate," Darla said, "and I'm sure you enjoyed raping him, but you will stay away from him. You don't want to see me upset. Do they, William?"
Spike gulped and shook his head in obedient silence. No one should ever see Darla upset. Ever.
***
//wake from your sleep
the drying of your tears, today we escape, we escape//
Buffy shot up in bed in the early afternoon, gasping for breath. Her nightmares had grown worse since her arrival in Sunnydale and as she looked around the room in confusion, she wondered if she would ever sleep soundly again. Since her parents died, she hadn't had one night that wasn't filled with nightmares and horrible death. She climbed from the queen sized bed and as her feet touched the floor, she realized they were bare.
Looking around the floor, she saw her boots sitting neatly next to the bed. She quickly put them back on as if she felt naked without them and moved quickly toward the exit. A small moan from the other side of the mansion forced her to turn around and investigate. She found Angel lying on the counter top, troubled in his sleep. She knew he was in the middle of a nightmare, just as before, and wondered if he saw the same atrocities in his dreams as she did.
She felt the stake in her pocket and thought about killing him, but hesitated. The fact that he hadn't tried to kill her or take her weapon might prove that he was good. She quickly shook that thought away. He was a vampire and a notorious one at that. The fact that he hadn't tried to kill her simply meant that he was screwing with her head. As she walked out of the mansion without waking him, she realized that his nightmares suggested a conscience.
*No,* she told herself, *Nightmares do not equal good.*
She would be damned if she would let him knock her off guard. She headed toward Jeeves' apartment, planning to stop in before she left town, wondering why she cared at all whether he knew that she left. She paused in front of his oak door and almost walked away without knocking. When she finally did knock, there was no answer.
She waited a few seconds and knocked again. Still nothing. She tried the handle and found it locked. Raising her leg, she snap kicked, splintering the doorframe and forcing it open. She stomped inside and scanned the room. Behind the overturned desk, the almost Watcher laid covered in blood.
"Holy shit!" Buffy yelled as she ran over to him, "Jeeves!"
***
Part Two
//i never wanted any broken bones
scarred face, no home//
Buffy stood impatiently in the hallway as the doctors examined Jeeves. If they would just tell her whether he was going to die or not, she could bust out of there. She hated hospitals more than morgues. She would much rather be standing in a vampire crypt that the sterile white hallway of death.
"Miss Summers?" The approaching doctor asked.
"Yeah," she said nodding as she scrutinized him carefully. His crisp white coat and impeccable appearance made her nervous. Not that he'd make her any less nervous if he'd been wrinkled and sloppy looking.
"Are you related to Mr. Giles?"
"Um...his family isn't here in town," she answered, running through her mind for an excuse to be privy to his medical information, "He's my guardian. Is he okay?"
Okay, so it was a total lie, but she couldn't get the hell out of there if the doctor wouldn't tell her what was going on. Buffy tried to tell herself that leaving the hospital and the town was the only reason she wanted to know if Jeeves...Giles was okay. The kindness he had shown her before and his unfailing faith in a better future was almost infectious. He wasn't anything like the cold, impersonal Watcher she currently had. She found herself wishing she could just stay there where at least he was kind to her.
"He has a mild concussion, several severe lacerations and three broken ribs, but he will be fine. He's a very lucky man, one of his ribs nearly punctured his lung. It was very good that you didn't move him when you found him. Do you have any idea how this happened?
"No," she answered, "I just found him and called 911. Is he awake?"
"Please don't stay long," the doctor warned, pointing out the room to her. Little did he know, she was the last person who was likely to hang out for extended periods of time in any medical facility.
"Hey Jeeves," she said as she walked in, "Wanna tell me what happened so I can go kill it?"
"I went to the library to get more research to summon Anyanka, since my first attempts were unsuccessful," he said weakly, surprised to see the brazen Slayer there at his bedside, "On my way back I was attacked by the vampires who killed Cordelia. And it's Giles."
"Anyanka. Right, the bad fairy. Still trapped in that little illusion, huh?" she said with a sigh, "Well, why didn't they just kill you?"
"They wanted information," he said coughing, "They wanted to know the whereabouts of a vampire by the name of Angelus. And they told me to order you to leave."
"What did you tell them?" she said, showing just a fraction too much worry in her normally cynical tone.
"The truth," he replied, pulling his glasses off the night stand, "I have no idea who Angelus is...but apparently you do."
***
//i need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain
i'd be scared that there's nothing underneath//
Angel always rose before the sunset, so when he opened his eyes, he was surprised to see that he had missed it. He winced from his remaining wounds as he sat up on the counter and hopped to the floor. Opening his shirt, he examined his chest, where most of his wounds could be seen easily. The open wounds had closed but he was still covered in black and blue bruises that swirled around his flesh from repeated use.
Remembering his guest, he tiptoed to his bedroom, only half expecting her to be there. The empty rumpled sheets kept him transfixed, the blanket that recalled the shape of her tiny body forced him to take an unneeded breath. She was gone and he was fairly certain she would not return.
I mean, why would she? He was a vampire and even though he did have soul, she didn't believe him. Even if she did believe him, he knew she would never become his friend, never trust him, never allow him to pull her into his arms to kiss the hurt away. He wanted nothing more than to help chase her bitterness away, help her to return to that beautiful, vulnerable little girl who he first saw on the steps of her high school.
He quickly pushed those thoughts from his mind as he moved toward the shower. He could barely stand the smell that closely resembled death coming from his body. Long months of filth, dried blood, cold sweats and pain coated every inch of his skin and as he stepped under the spray, he sighed in relief.
***
//you are so pretty when you're on your knees,
disinfected, eager to please//
"The Watcher?" Darla asked lightly, nearly skipping into the room in her Catholic school girl outfit. Since the high school kids seemed to be representing all of the white hats except for one Watcher, the outfit seemed appropriate, besides it made her feel young and giddy. As 400 years old, she was as young and beautiful as ever and now she was the Master of all vampires. She almost laughed with glee.
"Why didn't we get to kill him?" Willow pouted, and then smiled brightly, "Although I loved the screaming."
"You always love the screaming," Xander replied, kissing her lightly, slipping his tongue into her cool mouth and teasing hers.
"The Watcher?" Darla repeated, edging on irritation. Her children were going to get annoying after awhile.
"He acted like he didn't know Puppy," Willow answered, rubbing her hands on Xander's chest and nearly moaning as she said, "Who could forget Puppy?"
"He didn't know what happened to him?"
"That's what he said," Xander answered, "And he said The Slayer wasn't his ‘charge,' whatever that means." ,p>"So her real Watcher is somewhere else," Darla said with a smile, slipping into her chair, "We can only hope she'll be called back to wherever she came from."
"Not scared of The Slayer," Willow said, perching on the edge of the desk.
"Yes, well, nevertheless," Darla said, "We're moving underground."
"You've *got* to be kidding," Spike said as he entered the room, "Surely we aren't going to live in the sewers again. Dru hates that."
"All slimy and dark," Drusilla added, "Grandmummy, I can't see the moon in the sewers."
"Then you'll go above when night falls," Darla said, glaring at Spike for his challenge of her, "The Slayer knows where we are. It was different before Angel was free and The Slayer wasn't here. I'm sure you all had fun wreaking havoc in this town, but the rules have changed. I hate the sewers myself...there's no view...but I'm not going to be staked in my sleep. I didn't live to be 400 because I'm stupid."
"This is bloody *great!*" Spike shouted angrily and found himself lying on the floor seconds later with Darla's little Mary Jane pressing against his throat.
***
//a heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal//
Angel felt like he shed 100 years when he stepped out of the shower. He slipped on pants and padded barefoot to the kitchen to feed. Even if it was pig's blood, it tasted delicious. He helped himself to a second pint and felt his skin tingling as it healed. He tossed the second container in the trash and almost felt like smiling as he walked back out of the kitchen and into the Great Room. There he found a very angry looking Slayer.
"Where the hell did they go?" she demanded.
"Who?" Angel asked, looking over The Slayer with concern. She was still in the same dirty clothes she had arrived in. She hadn't showered and dark circles decorated her beautiful hazel green eyes.
"The vampires at The Bronze," she snapped, "The place is completely empty. I went to the factory again and there was no one there either. I'm sure they all didn't explode into dust this morning so where are they?"
"I guess they went below," he answered.
"Below? Like in the sewers?" Buffy said, trying to ignore his bare chest. His wounds had nearly healed but weren't so incredibly distracting as the corded muscle that lay underneath. He moved with caution and she knew he was trying not to threaten her, but the only thing that threatened her was being attracted to a vampire.
"Yeah," he said, nodding, "I'm sure they went underground, probably since they all know you're here. Guess you scared them."
"Take me to them," she demanded, trying to force the words out clearly from her dry throat.
*He's a vampire,* she reminded herself, *a sexy vampire, but a vampire.* She tried to recall all the warnings she had read about him, about how his attractiveness was used as a weapon by him. *The demon with the face of an angel,* she recalled as she waited for his reply. They sure got that part right.
"You really think it's a good idea to storm a nest underground where you're trapped when they surround you?" he asked, trying to hide his smirk. This little Slayer was pretty ambitious.
"Are you saying that you won't take me there?" she shouted, thinking about taking a threatening step closer but knowing that since she was so attracted to him right now, it was a mistake to move closer. If anything, she needed to take a few steps back. She chided herself inwardly again but she hadn't had a date since her parents died. When she was forced to drop out of school in Cleveland, she simply gave up the dating scene altogether. Besides, the slashing scar that crossed her mouth was really a turn on for guys.
"Yes, that's what I'm saying," he said, "I'm not going to lead you into a trap. We can go on recon, if you want, but we're not storming the damn nest. You didn't come all the way here to be killed."
"Duh," she snipped, "But they attacked Jeeves."
"Jeeves?" he asked quizzically.
"You know, Giles," she explained, "The Watcher?"
"No," he said shaking his head, "Your watcher came here with you?"
"No," she said, "He was already here. He said that the girl, Cordelia, said he was supposed to be my watcher."
"He was here waiting for you too," Angel said reflectively. This all was so strange. Why had The Powers That Be sent him here and Giles, but then not her? It didn't make any sense.
"What is all this ‘waiting for you' crap?" she asked.
"I was sent here," he answered, "for you. I tried to explain this before. You were supposed to come to The Hellmouth three years ago. I was going to help you."
"Now we're back to the ‘Destiny' thing. And what's The Hellmouth?"
"The mouth of Hell," he answered, "it opens here in Sunnydale."
***
//fireworks and hurricanes
i'm not here this isn't happening
i'm not here
i'm not here//
Darla could barely believe what she was seeing as she stood in the shadows watching her Angelus talk to The Slayer. Not only was he planning on helping her, he was in love with her! Disgust, jealousy and anger ripped through her body as she watched her mate trying to claim another.
The girl's eyes were almost closing in passion as she just talked to him! A Slayer and she was attracted to a vampire. It was sick and fucking wrong. She was thankful she hadn't allowed any of her flunkeys to come out to do this little job. She knew they would have just fumbled it anyway.
She gripped the two guns she had in her hands and prepared to walk into the room. She was still going to kill that little blonde slut but now she had even more reason than before. No one tried to take her mate! The only reason Willow was still alive was that she was brethren. This little bitch was not.
"Who's there?" Angel said, looking up from The Slayer and toward the shadows in the atrium.
"A friend," she said innocently, stepping forward with the guns behind her back, "It's been awhile."
"A lifetime," he answered, glancing over at Buffy and back to his ex.
"Or two, but who's counting?" she said with a sweet schoolgirl smile to match her outfit.
"What are you doing here Darla?" Angel said, curbing his growl.
"I came for you, Angelus," she whispered.
"You came because the Master died," Angel retorted, wondering how he had ever spent 150 years with her. Yes, she was beautiful but she was also deadly. He knew her hands, which were coyly resting behind her back, carried a weapon or two. He inched over closer to Buffy as he watched Darla closely.
"Yes, well, whatever," Darla said, still smiling, "Can't get caught up on little details, Angelus. So this is The Slayer."
"Who the hell are you?" Buffy said, feeling her pocket for a stake and thankfully resting on one.
"Darla," she answered, "Nice to meet you."
"Wish I could say the same," Buffy said, prickling as Angel stepped closer to her. What if he was fooling her the whole time? What if he planned for her to be trapped with him and his blonde skank over there? She evened out her breaths and prepared to attack, if she had to, first Angel then Darla.
"Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?" Darla asked, looking over the dirty, exhausted girl. She looked off her game, which was going to make this so much more interesting.
"Bad hair on top of that outfit?" Buffy asked with a defined sneer.
"To love someone who used to love you."
"I figured you guys were involved," she said, glancing over at Angel, who looked appropriately guilty. Wait, why should he feel guilty? And why was she suddenly jealous?
"For several generations," Darla answered.
"Well, you've been around awhile, you're bound to pile up a few ex's. You're older than him, right?" Buffy said, feeling suddenly overprotective of the vampire she didn't even believe was good, "Just between us girls, you are looking a little worn around the eyes."
"I made him," Darla said, waiting for the shock to cross Buffy's face and was gratified when it did. Popping that juicy piece of news was truly worth the trip, "There was a time when we shared everything, wasn't there, Angelus? You have a chance to come home and to rule with me for a thousand years, but you throwing that away because of *her.* You love someone who hates us. You're sick. And you'll always be sick. And you'll always remember what it was like to watch her die."
Buffy nearly fell over. The bitch may be evil but she was telling the truth. The look on Angel's face betrayed it as well. The vampire was in love with her?
"Quit acting like you didn't know over a hundred years ago that I was never coming home," he quipped, trying to soften the blow of what she said, "Now, then, Slayer, no Slayer - it's all the same. It's over and you know it. You knew a long time ago."
Angel barely was able to finish his sentence when a bullet ripped through his chest. Darla giggled as he stumbled back and hit the wall behind him. Then she glanced over at The Slayer, enjoying the mixed emotions that crossed her face, "Oh, don't worry. Bullets can't kill vampires. Can hurt them like hell, but..."
Buffy dove over to Angel's couch and hide behind it, hearing Darla's voice again, "So many body parts, so few bullets. Let's begin with the kneecaps. No fun dancing without them."
Bullets peeled through the sofa and Buffy crawled on the floor behind it. When there was a pause in shooting she hopped up and tossed her stake as hard as she could and groaned with disappointment to see that she missed.
"Close," Darla said, pulling the stake from her abdomen and tossing it aside, "But no heart."
Bullets began ripping apart the sofa again and Buffy knew that any second there would be no place to go. She gasped loudly as strong hands grabbed her shoulders and she found herself held tightly against Angel's smooth, bare back.
"That's no fair," Darla said, seeing that she couldn't shoot The Slayer through Angelus, "But fun."
She emptied her clips into Angel which amounted to three bullets. Buffy flinched with his groans as they hit his body, lodging somewhere in the beautiful flesh in front of her.
"Get out, Darla," Angel said, growling loudly and holding onto The Slayer at his back. Her delicate body trembled behind him and he couldn't help but feel turned on by it.
"I will kill your little bitch," Darla said as she backed toward the door, "You belong to me, Angel."
***
Part Three
//all the things you got
i bled and i bleed to please you//
"New plan," Darla said, stomping into the main room of their suite in the depths of the sewers.
"Did The Slayer kick your ass?" Spike said with a smirk. She may be the boss but he would damned if she would try to control his opinions.
"Shut up, Spike!" Darla said, before scanning the room with fire in her eyes, "The Slayer has to die. The first person who kills her gets a place as my second in command."
"What about Puppy?" Willow asked, itching to run out into the night.
"If he gets in the way, then dust him," she said and then added, "But not unless you have to."
"Suddenly not bored," Willow whispered to Xander, nibbling on his ear.
"Come on, baby," Xander said, wrapping an arm around her waist, "Time to have a little fun."
Spike watched the couple leave suspiciously and then turned to Darla, "You just want to narrow your competition or what?"
"Spike," Darla purred, crossing the room to him. He stepped back, hearing the venom beneath her purr. She placed her hands on his chest and dug her nails in, piercing the material of his shirt in the process.
"Bloody hell, woman," he mumbled, stepping back once more but unable to dislodge her from him. She backed him into the wall and pressed her body against his.
"We're going to have to have a little lesson," she whispered, knowing all the minions in the room could hear her, "Angelus spent so much time putting you in your place that I was denied the pleasure. Until now."
"Wait a minute," he said, pressing himself against the wall.
"See," she said, as he screamed in pain, "I knew there was a bright side to losing my mate."
***
//do i mean what i mean
it's inevitable, inevitable//
When Darla was out of sight, back into the night, Angel released Buffy and as if she were the only thing holding him up, he fell face first on the floor. Buffy stood there looking at him for a moment, still shocked at what had happened.
"Well, color me stunned," she said as she rolled him over and looked over his bloody chest, "Are you okay?"
"I'll live, if that's what you mean," he groaned, meeting her green eyes with golden ones. He knew she was looking at his true face for the first time and willed himself to change back, but couldn't. She pulled him up and he groaned again as he leaned against the bullet ridden couch. Without hesitating, he dug inside the holes in his chest, rooting for bullets.
"That's...um..." Buffy said, as she watched him remove the first bullet from himself, "Thank you for saving my life."
"You're welcome," he answered, dropping a small piece of metal on the floor and going for the next one.
"No one has ever...done that for me before," she said, rising to her feet, "Usually I'm saving someone else."
"That's why I'm here," he said, successfully freeing the second bullet.
"Do you have any bandages around here?" she asked, flushed from the feel of his cold skin, from pressing her face into his muscular back and from watching his bloody fingers dig into his chest.
"Bathroom," he said through gritted teeth. He wasn't sure what he was expecting now that she knew of his true feelings for her, but this wasn't it. She hadn't rejected him yet, never called him a demon or even worse...a thing. He watched her reappear, loaded with supplies and bit his lip to keep a sigh from escaping as she *voluntarily* touched his skin. Her hands were shaking as she cleansed his wounds and he mistook it for fear of his face or maybe fear of hurting him. But neither of those reasons were why she was shaking.
"I can't stay here," she said quietly as she bandaged the first hole in his chest.
"I understand," he said still struggling to get his demon in check, "I didn't expect you to ever trust me, even after..."
"No, it's not that," she said with a quivering voice. She was falling for him and quickly. She felt like leaving his wounds half tended and running from the mansion, "Now that all the vamps know where you are, I won't be able to sleep. They can just walk in whenever they want."
"Not if you're living here," he said, feeling a twinge of hope rising up inside him.
"What do you mean?"
"If you're living here, then it's no longer just a vampire's crypt. They can't come in unless they're invited."
"How can you be sure it'll work? And why would I live here with you?" she asked as she put the last bandage on his skin.
"I have lots of space and you don't have a place to live," he said, pulling himself slowly to his feet, "And it'll work. Come on, I'll show you." He almost took her hand as he headed toward the door. He led her outside the mansion completely, "Okay, you have to decide this is your home."
"I can't be sure," she said.
"It'll only work if this is your home," he said, "It's mystical. Say you'll live here."
"Okay," she sighed, "I'll live here. This is my home."
"Now step inside," he said. She gave him a wary look and crossed the threshold. He stepped to follow her and smiled as he hit the invisible boundary.
"See?" he said, "Now I can't come back in unless you invite me."
Angel watched as Buffy thought about it for a second.
"I would never hurt you," he said quietly, blasting love at her through his dark eyes. When one minute turned into two, he was beginning to think he might have to find a different place to live. Then he saw a small smile cross her face, "You're invited."
He crossed the threshold and smiled at her, "I thought you weren't going to."
"I had to think about it."
"Where are you going?" he asked as she walked back out the mansion.
"Got a meeting with Jeeves."
***
//i never wanted anything like this
i worked hard, tried hard//
"Hello Buffy," Giles said as he opened his front door, "I'm glad you made it. Were you successful in finding the vampires?"
"No," she said, shaking her head, "they bolted. Angel thinks they went underground."
"Angelus?" he said, remembering her earlier explanation of who he was, "So you trust him now?"
"Well, after he took 3 bullets for me, I thought he might be for real."
"Bullets?" Giles asked with confusion.
"Yeah. One of the vamps I was looking for found me and tried to shoot me."
"They're using guns now? No one has standards anymore," he complained.
"That's what I thought," she said, plopping down on his couch, "So what's the what? Why did you ask me to come back over here?"
"Beside the obvious, which is wanting to see if you got out of the fight unscathed," he said, "I wanted to speak to you about staying on here and helping to return Sunnydale to a safe place to live."
"Safe on the Hellmouth?" she asked, feeling her heart pound. He *wanted* her to stay. He was concerned about her safety. Between Angel and Giles, it was becoming more difficult to hold on to her pessimism.
"So you already know."
"Yeah, Angel explained it to me."
"I'd like to meet this vampire," he said as a knock sounded on the door, "Will you stay?"
"What about my other Watcher?"
"I've already spoken to the Council," Giles said opening the door, "They have agreed to release you to my custody for the time being."
"Hey," Oz said from the door and was echoed by Larry. They moved inside and found seats around the room.
"I'll stay," she said, pretending to be reluctant, but the truth was that she had nothing in Cleveland to return to. Her parents were dead and her Watcher was an overbearing asshole. She hated it there and even if Sunnydale was in constant danger, it was better than what awaited her in the Midwest.
"Very good," Giles said with a smile and looked over at Larry, who was beaming, and Oz, who seemed tempted to make an expression.
"And Buffy?" Giles said, "I would appreciate it if you would start calling me ‘Giles.' Although I am British, my name is not Jeeves, nor am I a butler."
"I never said you were a butler," she said with confusion.
"P.G. Wodehouse?" he asked, referring to the author who wrote the Jeeves Chronicles and seeing the blank look on her face, sighed, "Never mind."
***
//stop whispering, start shouting
stop whispering, start shouting//
Buffy walked out of Giles' flat and toward the mansion. She was actually surprised that he hadn't asked her where she was living yet. Probably assumed that she was staying at a hotel or something. Right, like she had money for that. She was trying to figure out how she was going to get some new clothes. She needed a shower desperately and wasn't sure how to get around the no clean clothes problem.
"Oooh, it's The Slayer," Willow's voice sang from behind her, alerting her to an entirely different problem. Buffy turned to face two vampires, who in another universe were her best friends. In this universe, she cared less about them.
"Present," she said, pulling a stake from the waistband of her pants.
"Scary," Xander said with broad grin.
Willow and Xander, moved into motion, double teaming The Slayer. It had already been a long night and after the gun show earlier, Buffy was almost out of adrenaline. She found herself on the defensive, trying to beat them down. Her stake was knocked from her hand early in the battle and she became a little worried as the two grabbed her at the same time, as if they could read each other's thoughts.
"Let her go," an angry growl said, coming from the shadows. Angel dropped the bag he was carrying and moved toward them slowly.
"Puppy," Willow whispered with a very noticeable sexual undertone, "I've missed you."
"Yeah, me too," Angel snorted sarcastically, "Release The Slayer."
"Oh, you like her," Willow said, licking Buffy's neck, "I like her too."
Angel rushed them, black duster flying behind him as he moved forward. Buffy used the distraction to swing her legs up and kick their ridged faces and flipping away as they stumbled back. Joining hands, the vampire couple ran into the trees.
"See ya soon, Puppy," Willow called out after them.
"You did it again," Buffy said, bending to pick up her stake as Angel went to retrieve his bag.
"Did what?"
"Saved my life," she said, "Thanks."
Near death twice in the same night was interesting - not entirely uncommon, but a little scary nonetheless. The fact that a vampire had saved her both times was completely mind blowing. And that he may or may not be in love with her, made her heart start to melt...just a little.
"I did something else too," He said with a sheepish little look over his handsome face, "I hope you won't be angry with me."
"Oh God," she moaned, "If it's bad news, just pretend I already know about it."
"No, no," he said, holding his bag up, "It's nothing like that. I just bought you something."
"What did you buy me?" she asked with wide eyes.
*He's buying fucking presents already?* she thought, *Jesus, I should have camped out on the Watcher's couch.*
As much as her thoughts automatically turned toward the cynical road she was used to, at the same time she felt a little smile tug the corners of her mouth and all of a sudden she was thinking how sweet he was. Inner turmoil caused her to groan on the inside. This was going to be *very* hard.
"What the hell?" she asked as she looked into the bag.
"Damn," he muttered, "I knew you'd be mad at me."
"How the hell did you know what kind of shampoo I use and perfume?" she said, her eyes showing blatant distrust. Maybe he had stalked her before she came here. How else would he know?
"I'm a vampire," he said, as if it explained everything.
"So?"
"I have an enhanced sense of smell," he said, "I bought the things that smell like you."
"Oh," she said, digging through the bag again. A few items of clothing - all the right size. Everything was perfect...and unnerving.
He was sure she was angry with him and then he looked closer. Tears were forming in her little eyes and he was sure his heart died - well, it would have if he were alive anyway. He had no idea that a few items would cause so much sadness and so he started to babble, "I'm sorry. I just thought you didn't have any money right now and maybe you'd want to take a shower and change. God, please don't cry. I'll take them back. We can pretend this never happened."
"No," she said, shaking her head and wiping an escaped tear away, "It's just that no one's ever done something like this for me before. It's so...sweet."
***
//i bet you think that's pretty clever, don't you boy?//
"It's so sweet," Spike mocked from the bushes as he followed them, he continued to mutter to himself, "Give me a fucking break. That bitch needs to die just on principle. Getting all weepy over the Pansy is bloody ridiculous."
He kept back in the shadows as he followed, leaving a big enough distance from them that he was sure the neither of them would notice him. Finally, tired of stalking - that was always Angelus' game - he hurried up to them and made himself known.
"Hey Angelus!" he said, causing them to turn around and face him, "Long time no see, mate. And that must be the hottie Slayer I've heard so much about."
"Spike," Angel sighed. If this night included any more of his old acquaintances, he was going to be very irritated.
"Glad you remember my name," Spike said sarcastically, "You don't call, you don't write. Like having a soul is an excuse to ignore your friends."
"I wouldn't call you a ‘friend,' Spike," Angel growled, "Why don't you go back to whatever place you came from?"
"Aw, that's not nice, Sire," Spike said and then turned to Buffy, "How are you doing, love? Ready for a little cat and mouse?"
"I don't like games," she said, "I'd prefer just to stake you now and get it over with."
"Feisty girl you got there, Angel," he said backing into the shadows, "This is going to be just...neat."
Buffy ran after him but he was already out of sight and she turned back on Angel, "Should I mark any of your other friends on my hit list?"
"Unfortunately," Angel said, "I had a lot of unsavory friends before I got my soul back. A lot of vampires have been drawn here because of the Master's death."
"Yeah, I've picked up on that," she muttered as they headed home.
***
Part Four
//you float like a feather in a beautiful world
and i wish i was special
you're so fucking special//
Angel was not thinking about her being in the shower, naked, covered in water. Uh-huh, no way. He took several consecutive unneeded breaths and began changing the sheets on the bed for her. And he wasn't thinking about her sleeping in his bed for the second night in a row. He wasn't thinking about being in the same house as this delectable, gorgeous woman. He breathed again. At this rate, he would be the first hyperventilating vampire.
In the shower, Buffy was thinking along the same lines. He could walk in any minute and join her and she wasn't sure that she would be able to make a syllable that resembled a protest. She hadn't been attracted to anyone like this...well, ever, actually. None of the boys in High School ever made her feel this way and she certainly never felt this way about a vampire!
In fact, she never seriously thought about losing her virginity before. Okay, she thought about it, but never actually saw it looming, real and vividly in the near distant future. But Angel, she thought as she pressed her face into the flowing water, was someone she could give herself to. She stood up straight with the thought and blushed, even though she was by herself.
*Vampire,* she reminded herself, *Vampire, dammit!*
But it didn't matter.
At all.
***
//but i'm a creep, i'm a weirdo.
what the hell am i doing here?
i don't belong here.//
Angel decided to patrol one more time before going to bed. He was exhausted, in pain from his old wounds and the new ones, but he could *not* stay in the mansion while Buffy was in the shower. She would be stepping out any minute, drying the droplets of water from her toned body....
He shook the thoughts away, walked slowly and willed his arousal to go away. He wasn't sure what he was thinking when he asked her to move in. Okay, he *knew* but reality is so much harsher than the vision. Every day, being so close to her, was going to be worse than any torture that Willow, Dru and Darla put together could unleash on him. She might be beginning to trust him, but that was far from where he ached to be. He wanted to hold her at night and sleep breathing in her scent - instead of from rooms away.
"Daddy," Drusilla said, stepping into his path.
"Dru," he choked. He knew she was here. Dru was always where Spike was. But he didn't want to see her. Whenever he did, the demon reared inside him, bucking away his calm thoughts. She had been so much of an obsession when he was Angelus, that he felt overwhelming guilt whenever he saw her.
"I've missed you," she said, approaching him, "You've been away too long."
Angel stood still as she approached. The innocence that almost always stayed in her dark eyes was like a broadcast of his horrible past. So beautiful and sweet...and a demon. She was a walking cringe. She rubbed his shoulders and laid her head on his chest for just a second before she tilted her head to look at him.
"You've missed me to?" she asked, rubbing his arousal. He kept silent, looking down at her, feeling his past beat at him.
"My Angel," she whispered, tracing his throbbing cock through his black pants, "When will you come home?"
"Don't Drusilla," he managed hoarsely, as she pulled his hand to her breast.
"Remember, Angel? Those nights when you would make me scream?"
"I remember," he said, stepping back, "But things are different now."
"You love her," she said as he retreated, "You love her and they're going to kill her."
Angel growled and turned back around, laying golden eyes on his Childe, "They'll have to go through me."
"They will, my Angel, they will."
***
//even though i might,
even though i try,
i can't//
"Angel?" Buffy said as she moved almost silently through the house. She checked all of the rooms and found them empty. Finally, she moved out to the garden where the jasmine was blooming wildly and releasing a strong, sweet fragrance. Angel came down the steps, shattering the room.
"You left," she said, looking over him.
"Yeah," he said, nodding, glad he had buttoned a few buttons on his coat to hide his still throbbing arousal. Her standing there with wet hair, streaming freely down her back, over her shoulders, touching the rise of her breasts in a tank top he bought her, wasn't helping, "I went for a walk while you were showering."
"Oh," she said, turning and heading back into the Great Room. She couldn't think of anything else to say and she was sure if she continued looking at him, she would say or do something that wouldn't be advisable.
Angel continued down the stairs and followed her inside, feeling like he was trailing behind her on an imaginary leash. He looked at the destroyed couch and realized he was sleeping on the counter again. He suddenly wished he had taken advantage of it the night before. Buffy was staring at the couch too.
"You can have your bed back tonight," she said, thinking about Angel on the counter, thinking about her on top of Angel on the counter. She blushed again and was glad her back was to him. She could feel his eyes digging into her and concealed a shudder. How could he be attracted to her? It didn't make any sense. With her constant anger, distrusting attitude and not to mention the large scar across her face, there was no way he could feel the way Darla said he felt.
"No," he said, shaking his head even though he knew she couldn't see him, "You can have the bed. I changed the sheets for you."
"You're wounded," she said, turning to face him.
"Believe me, I've had worse," he said. He wasn't just looking at her, he was staring and when he realized it, he quickly looked away. Buffy looked at the floor. She was right. He wasn't attracted to her. She was glad she was looking at the floor so he couldn't see the hurt in her eyes. A sexy vampire with a soul in love with her? Yeah, right.
"I guess...um...I'll take the bed then," she said, finally meeting his eyes, "If you're sure."
She was uncomfortable and Angel picked up on it immediately. He wanted to hit something. If he could just be a normal man, then maybe he would have a fraction of a chance.
"I make you uncomfortable," he mumbled, "I'm sorry. I know it must be strange...you knowing that I'm attracted to you. I promise I'll keep my distance."
"You're attracted to me?" she asked and she felt her face flush hot along with the rest of her body.
"Uh, yeah," he said, nodding slowly, "I thought you knew...since Darla said...dammit."
"I don't understand," she said, truthfully. How could he possibly want her? If he had a reflection, he would understand that he could have any woman in Sunnydale, probably most of the women outside of Sunnydale too. He was gorgeous and if nothing else could be seen, his eyes burned with a soul that made her tingle inside.
"What don't you understand?" he said, stepping closer, "You have to know how beautiful you are."
"Beautiful?" she squeaked.
"You are breathtaking," he whispered, stepping even closer so he was less than a foot from her.
Realizing what she thought was happening, she stepped back and sneered, "Don't fuck with me, Angel."
The anger that crossed over his face barely registered in her brain before he grabbed her narrow shoulders. He looked deeply into her eyes and then gently placed his lips on hers. He kissed her long and slow, softly teasing her lips open and slipping his cool inside her warm mouth. He pulled her against him and kissed her more deeply, pouring all his love and devotion into that one kiss. When he pulled away, she panted for air.
"You are beautiful," he snapped harshly, "I'm not fucking with you. I'm attracted to you. I went for a walk while you were in the shower to keep myself from joining you."
He turned in an abrupt about face and went to the kitchen. He pulled a bag from blood from the refrigerator and bit angrily into the plastic. He couldn't believe she actually didn't believe him! What else did he have to do to prove how he felt?
***
//my baby's got the bends//
Willow watched Xander's naked body as he fell into a deep sleep. She kissed his cheek, knowing he wouldn't wake and walked naked from their room. One of the lesser vamps in their group, released a low whistle at the sight of her naked body gleaming in the candlelight. He realized his mistake immediately when she punched him, knocking him on his back and perched on his chest.
"I didn't get to have much fun tonight," she said, "Wanna make it better?"
"No, Mistress. I-I'm sorry," he wheezed. He had momentarily forgotten while lost in his lust for the attractive redhead, that she was one of the most vicious creatures he had ever seen. She stood and walked away, leaving him there. For several moments he laid there thankful for his life.
Willow sauntered into Darla's bedroom and found her in a cream colored silk nightgown, dismissing a lesser vamp from her chamber.
"Hi," Willow said with a low, sweet voice, "Wanna be bad?"
Darla turned smiled broadly and beckoned her in, "Always."
***
//i can't afford to breathe in this town//
"Where have you been?" Spike demanded as Drusilla floated in.
"I was hungry," Dru said, licking her red lips, "I saw my Angel."
"Angel?" Spike yelled, "I told you I didn't want you going out alone while Angel and The Slayer are trying to *kill* us! Are you out of your damn mind?"
Dru lowered her eyes and began to tear up as a whine fell from her lips. Spike sighed loudly and tramped across the room, "I'm sorry, pet, but it's dangerous. I was worried."
"He missed me," she said with a smile, rubbing her body against Spike's. Spike felt the anger shoot through his undead veins. He knew what that meant.
"You slept with him?" he said through gritted teeth.
"He didn't miss me that much," she whispered with sad eyes, "How much did you miss me, Spike?"
He smiled, feeling his anger float away as he led her to the bed.
***
Buffy sat on the floor, near the broken couch and felt her heart pounding in her chest. That kiss was unlike anything else she had ever experienced. It destroyed any peace of mind she had ever had. She felt her own arousal forming and her blood felt like it was spiked with lava inside her veins. She listened as he opened the refrigerator and slammed the door shut. She held her breath as he came back out and looked down at her sitting on the floor.
"I'm sorry," he said, moving across the room and sitting down next to her, "That was uncalled for. I don't know why got mad."
"I don't either," she admitted.
"I'm slightly frustrated right now," he said, intending more than one meaning, "Doesn't entirely have to do with you."
"Will you...will you kiss me again?" she said quietly, in a voice near a whisper. He leaned in and kissed her again, just as deeply and passionately as before. He pulled her closer to him, sliding her across the floor as he leaned into her. When he broke away, he was breathing deeply, as if he needed the oxygen.
"You really think I'm beautiful?" she asked and the first genuine smile he had ever seen on her, formed over her lips.
"You have a reflection," he said, "I know there aren't any mirrors here, but I'm guessing you've looked in one recently."
"Yeah," she said, "I don't get it."
"Well, I'll just be the judge of your beauty then," he said with a smile.
***
//pieces missing everywhere//
"I'd like you to enroll in High School," Giles said the next morning in the library, "How much have you missed?"
"Almost a year," she said, "You actually want me to be in school?
"Yes," he said with a curt nod, "I think a Slayer's education is very important. Not only physical education but your brain needs exercise as well."
"But my last Watcher made me drop out," she protested.
"That's very disturbing, Buffy," he said, "I'm getting the feeling that you have some complaints about your treatment with your previous Watcher. Am I correct in this assumption?"
"Yes," she said, staring at the wooden library table.
"What else differs from my treatment of you and his, if you don't mind my asking?"
"He was mean to me," she said.
"Mean?" he asked, pulling his glasses off to clean them nervously.
"Yes," she said, "He said that a Slayer had to have rigid rules and he was mean if I didn't follow them."
"Buffy," he started slowly, "I would like you to tell me of every mean thing he did. I think the Council should be aware of your mistreatment."
"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. She knew Giles cared about her, but she was still having a hard time swallowing the idea. He hadn't been mean to her *once.* She thought it incredibly odd.
***
//dug me my very own garden
gave me sunshine. made me happy//
"What time did you leave this morning?" Angel asked as she walked in from the afternoon sunlight.
"Just after dawn," she said, yawning loudly, "Think I need a nap."
"Why'd you leave so early?" he asked, following her as she moved toward the bedroom. He stood anxiously in the doorway as he waited for her answer.
"Giles wanted me to enroll in High School," she said, curling up on the bed, "After he gave me a lecture on the importance of education."
"Oh," he said nodding and moving away, "I'll let you sleep."
She sat up and said almost too quietly for him to hear, "Angel?"
"Yeah?" he answered, turning back around.
"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?" she asked awkwardly, almost unable to believe she had let the words escape her mouth. He felt a smile tugging at the corners of his lips as he walked in. Once he reached the bed, he didn't know what to do. He perched on the edge of the bed and looked down at her, sweeping her hair away from her face. She took his hand and pulled him down with her. He moved in closely and spooned her curves, wrapping his arms around her lithe body. He closed his eyes and memorized the rhythm of her breathing and for the first time in a very long time for both them, they slept without even one nightmare.
***
Part Five
***
//i'm not every girl and i don't need that world to validate me//
Buffy blinked open her eyes slowly and tensed for a moment when she felt another body against hers, large arms wrapped around her. She peeked over her shoulder and looked upon a sleeping Angelic face. She carefully turned over to face him, taking the opportunity to study him up close without him knowing. He didn't wake with her movements, but tightened his arms around her and pulled her close again. She couldn't help but smile at his protective gesture even in his sleep.
It dawned on her as she lay there that she trusted him. Buffy Summers didn't trust anyone, especially vampires, but she slept in his arms without even the slightest twinge of fear or doubt. She idly wondered how long they slept and two seconds later, she scrambled from his arms, "Oh Shit!"
"What?" Angel said, lurching to a sitting position and watching her with interest as she dug through the few outfits he had bought her, "What's wrong?"
"What time is it?" she shouted, her voice echoing off the bathroom wall.
"Dunno," he said, laying back down, "After dawn."
"How do you know that?" she yelled over the sound of the shower.
"I can feel it," he mumbled, falling back asleep now that the danger had passed and she, in her frenzy, hadn't even heard his explanation. Ten minutes later he re-awoke as she ran back into the bedroom and sat on the bed to put on her boots.
"What's the rush?" he asked with a sleepy smile, inhaling that heavenly vanilla smell from her clean skin. God, he was glad he bought that too.
"It's my first day of school," she said, "What if everyone hates me?"
He reached out and pulled her into his arms, kissing her panic away and held her still for a second, calming her.
"If you're late, then you're late," he whispered, taking another sip of her full lips, "You don't want to go running in there in a frantic...And they'll love you."
"You think so?" she asked, as her fingers flew up to trace the scar on her lips, "I think I'll just stay here with you instead."
"As much as I don't want to argue with that idea," he said with a twinkle in his eyes, "I think you want to do this. I think you *need* to do this."
"Why do I *need* to do this?" she asked, finding that old anger flaring up in her.
"Because, love," he said, "You want to have friends again. You want to have a life outside being The Slayer. I know you do. And I think hanging out with a dead man is not quite the same thing."
"You're not dead," she said, pecking his lips.
"Close enough," he said.
"Do I look okay?" she asked, standing up and turning around for him.
”You look fantasic," he said, looking over the jeans that hugged her slim hips and the soft lavender shirt that left a tiny slice of stomach visible. He felt his arousal growing as he looked her over and gave himself an imaginary pat on the back for his good taste.
Buffy crawled back over the covers to place a final kiss on his tempting lips and whispered, "Angel, I..."
"You what?" he said, feeling his words coat his throat with the anticipation of her words.
"Have a good day."
"You too."
***
//you know that i'm pissed//
"She's not your property and I have custody of her by leave of the Council!" Giles shouted into the phone as Buffy strolled into the library, aglow from having just left Angel. She actually giggled when she realized that she was the first person on campus - other than her stuffy Watcher, that is. She hadn't been running late at all. She made a mental note to acquire an alarm clock for the mansion. It was startling how quickly she was beginning to settle in.
"I don't care what you think you are entitled to!" Giles shouted as Buffy pretended to be interested in the books in the room, "You have abused your sacred duty as Watcher. She is now my charge! You are instructed to report directly to the council. Do not try to contact The Slayer. She is no longer your concern."
Buffy watched the irritation grow on Giles' features as he listened intently to the loud voice on the other end of the connection, "And you aren't fit to tend a garden! Pillock!"
Giles said as he slammed down the receiver. He took a deep breath and turned around, "Buffy. Hello. I apologize for that...display. It seems your previous Watcher is a bit of a..."
"Asshole?" Buffy finished.
"Well, actually, yes," he said, nodding, "He's a very bracing man."
"Shoulda killed him," Buffy huffed, as a cold feeling broke into her current warmth.
"The council might frown on that," Giles muttered under his breath as he went about the library, gathering the books Buffy would need for her first day.
"What will they do to him?" Buffy asked, flipping through a Chemistry text with more than a slight urge to flee.
"I believe he will be relieved of his duties," Giles said, pausing to look at her, "His direction of you was not in line with the accepted disciplinary guidelines. I believe he stepped too far out of boundary."
"That's an understatement," Buffy said as Giles handed her schedule and began explaining what texts went with what class.
***
//call it jealousy, but its killin' me//
"I hate the day," Willow said, snuggling in bed with Xander.
"You slept with *her,*" Xander said, barely betraying his irritation, but making it clear to his mate that he didn't approve.
"Jealous?" Willow asked, kissing his bare chest.
"Well, gee, let's think," Xander answered sarcastically.
"She's weak," Willow whispered against his lips, "You knew it was necessary."
"When do ya wanna take her out, baby?" He said, sliding his hands over her body and pulling her roughly on top of him.
"When I'm bored," she answered, biting his neck hard enough to draw blood with her bare teeth.
"Better make it soon," he growled, "I'm losing patience."
"Ooh," Willow crooned, "Gonna act like the big man now?"
He gripped her hips and pushed her against his arousal, "I hate that bitch."
"You weren't this jealous when I played with puppy," she said, not even trying to hide her smile as she ground her core against him, "She's not the Master. She's just his mate."
"Kill her before I do," Xander growled again.
"I like it when you take charge," she said, "You try to be so good at it."
***
//we look pretty happy
let's play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally//
Spike watched from across the room as Drusilla cavorted around, bathing in the glow of her Grandmum. He was trying to be patient but he never was very good at it. His ability to handle Darla's presence was growing thin. He was supposed to be the big bad around here and she just floated in and took over, like she always did.
He had two things on his agenda: Kill The Slayer and dust Darla. Not necessarily in that order.
He let his thoughts wander back to Buffy Summers. She was an impressive little chit. More beautiful and more skilled that her predecessors. If Angelus hadn't let her move in with him, she would already be dead. He nearly lost it when he smacked into the invisible boundary outside the mansion last night.
"We should have a party, Spike," Dru sang, breaking into his thoughts.
"What for, love?" he asked as she shimmied across the room to him.
"Cause we're a family again," she sang and he could smell the need for death on her mind. She leaned in and whispered confidentially, "Grandmum wants Daddy back. We're going to kill The Slayer and bring him home."
"I hardly call this a family," Spike snorted, pulling her into his lap, "But we can have a party if you want, baby."
Spike narrowed his eyes and returned to his thoughts as she kissed him excitedly, clapped her hands like a child and rose to return to dancing around the room. He could barely hear her over his own racing mind as she went on about music and flowers. He had other plans. He wanted to kill The Slayer, but he didn't want his Sire back. If he had anything to say about it, Darla would never get her mate again. And she wouldn't live long enough to be angry about it.
***
//don't let me get me
i'm my own worst enemy//
Buffy walked into her first class, which was sadly half filled with students - all of which, were staring directly at her. She handed her enrollment slip to the teacher and he announced her to the class as the new student. As he invited her to take a seat, she was already mentally edging toward the door. This was a huge mistake. She should have stayed in bed with her vampire. At least he didn't stare at her like she was a bug. Well, he did stare, but...
"Buffy," Oz said from the back of the room, "Wanna sit here by me?"
She nearly fainted with relief as she headed toward the back of the room to sit in the seat directly in front of Oz. Being the new girl in school was worse that slaying. At least when she was fighting the forces of darkness, she knew what to expect.
"Thanks," she whispered as interested ripples of conversation flowed over the students. Buffy didn't realize immediately, but Oz did, that since he was so popular among the students, his acceptance of her would make a big difference.
"No problem," he answered.
"Hey," she said, leaning in, "No offense, but I thought you'd be ahead of me."
"Yeah," Oz said nodding, "If I went to classes, I might be."
"Oh," she said, smiling as she turned around to face the teacher who was preparing to start the class. She, for one, was thrilled that he had missed classes.
***
//been watching over me//
"What's...the...big...deal...about...wearing...purple?" Buffy asked, puffing her words out as she trained with Giles. Her roundhouse kicks were meeting perfect aim with the guard pads he had strapped to his arms and he kept staggering back with each powerful kick. It was amazing to him that he knew she was not kicking with even a tenth of her full power.
"The students believe that bright colors attract vampires," Giles said, waving off her next round of kicks so he could collapse in a chair.
"That's not true, is it?"
"I don't know," he said honestly, "But if it helps them to feel safe, then I think it's a worthy choice in wardrobe."
"I like this shirt," she said, smoothing out an invisible wrinkle, "What's wrong with it?"
"Nothing," Giles said, pulling himself back to his feet, "It's perfectly acceptable."
"Ready for another round?" Buffy asked, moving into defensive stance.
"No, no," Giles said, looking out the window at the darkness, "You should probably patrol now that it's dark."
"‘Kay," she said, moving toward the door.
"And I'll wait for the feeling to return to my arms," he mumbled as he shed the pads.
"You gonna be okay?" she said, stopping at the door and turning back around, "Want me to make sure you get home first?"
"No," he answered, "I'll be quite alright. Thank you."
He stood motionless and watched the girl walk from the library with almost a skip to her step, if he wasn't imagining it. And she offered to take him home? He was astonished by her change in attitude after such a short time in Sunnydale. Perhaps all she needed was a little emotional nourishment.
***
//i wiped my eyes and buried the pain inside
all of my memories - good and bad - that's past//
The quickest way to make Oz show emotion these days was for him to inadvertently run into a certain female vampire and her undead mate. Oz and Larry had decided after school, to run by The Bronze and see if it was being used by any vamps at all anymore. They might be able to take out a couple of leftovers.
The leftovers he expected to find were not his ex-girlfriend and her lover. Oz laid a warning hand on Larry's arm and they crouched together, watching as Willow strolled around the empty room.
"We could move back in," Willow said, "Make it like it was."
"Yeah," Xander said, nodding, remembering the past, "It was definitely more fun before. I can't wait."
"People in cages, hanging like snacks," Willow mused licking her lips, "Music, fun, a little Puppy on the side."
"Speaking of Puppy," Xander said, wrapping his arms around her waist, "I think I made a promise to you."
"Wanna go look for him?" Willow asked excitedly, "Maybe we can get some Slayer too."
"Sounds good," he answered but suddenly found her stiffening in arms. Her silky red hair struck his face, as she spun around.
"I knew you missed me, Oz," she growled. The two boys stood cautiously and began creeping toward the door.
"I miss *my* Willow," he answered before turning with Larry and rushing toward the exit. They didn't make it close to the exit before Oz was trapped in Willow's strong grip and Larry was in Xander's.
"Maybe I can make you like me," she said, nibbling on his ear lobe, "We could have fun."
"I'd rather die than be like you, Will," he threatened and heard Larry's gurgling scream as Xander crunched into his throat.
"That can be arranged," she said before biting into his neck. Seconds later she was torn from her kill and on her back on the floor. Angel straddled her, pinning her arms to the floor. Oz staggered back, holding his bloody neck.
"Puppy," Willow moaned, pressing up against him, "I missed you. Is it your turn to ride?"
"It's my turn for everything," he growled, "Except to die. That one's yours, baby."
Xander, who had stopped feeding, was holding his victim as bait and crunched his fingers into the boy's arm, smiling as Larry screamed from the pain of his bones cracking.
"Let her go," Xander growled, "Or the boy dies."
Angel looked from Willow to Larry and back again, taking long moments to decide if the boy's life was worth releasing the bitch who had tortured him and tried to break him. Finally he stood up, and stepped back, blocking their path to Oz.
"Okay," Angel said, reaching out a hand, "Now give me the boy."
"Give me a break," Xander said, delighted in his own pun as he snapped Larry's neck and watched him fall heavily to the floor, "Oops. My bad."
"Mmmm," Willow added as Xander pulled her toward the door, "This was fun, Puppy. Can't wait to see you again."
***
//she's being a little bitch//
"Hey mate," Spike said, dropping his cigarette to the ground and standing up from his lean against the brick wall to crush it out with the toe of his boot, "I was waitin' for ya."
"Yeah?" Angel said, looking over his shoulder at Oz, who was pale and beginning to sway, "I'm so glad. I've missed you."
"Yeah, I knew you had," Spike said, approaching him, "Look, I need to talk to you about your mate."
"She's not my mate," Angel answered.
"Whatever," Spike answered, "She's fucking up all the plans here, mate. I wanna make a deal with you that I think we both might be able to live with."
Angel nodded at the corpse laying a few feet from Spike, "You think that's what I can live with?"
"Harmony," Oz wheezed.
"I got peckish, Peaches," Spike said, grinning at the young blonde girl laying there, "Harmony was her name? She was tasty, but not the point. We both have a problem. I think you know that Darla is ruining all the fun for all of us."
"I'm sorry, Spike," Angel said with mock sympathy, "Did she take all your power away? Is that it? Or you just upset because Drusilla adores her?"
"Listen," Spike shouted, "I can arrange for you and your Slayer to dust the bitch, but you have to work with me."
"I'm not working with you," Angel growled, as he turned away, "I don't trust you, *mate.* I'm not about to walk into a trap and bring The Slayer along with me, so you can kill her. Forget it."
"You're missing out on a great opportunity!" Spike yelled behind them as they retreated. Angel made sure Oz kept up with his long strides as he moved away. He slammed to the ground, nearly shattering his shoulder as he landed. Oz ran full speed away as Drusilla stood over her Sire.
"My Angel," Dru growled, meeting his golden eyes with hers, "You've been very naughty."
As he lost consciousness, Angel heard Spike's laughter littering the alley, "That's it, ducks!"
***
Part Six
//i protect you from the world, i basically protect you from myself//
The look of pain in his eyes was a blow to her already diseased mind. Blending into the shadows in a remote corner of The Bronze, Buffy watched as the beautiful, dark haired vampiress stripped Angel's shirt off, revealing a nearly healed chest. Faded red marks remained from his gunshot wounds and she knew that at his current healing rate, they would be gone tomorrow. If he lived until tomorrow.
Razor edged conflict raged in her mind and it was much louder than his roar of pain as the demon disguised as a woman made swirls of pretty colors on his chest. Buffy knew she loved him. Without a doubt in her mind, she knew that she could grow old in his still young arms, would give him her blood, her virginity if he wanted it. She also knew she was The Slayer. To storm in the room with two master vampires to save another vampire was suicide and against everything she stood for. She hung in the balance of his screams, grappling for a decision.
His biceps flexed as he pulled at the ropes that bound him to the stage. The vampiress seemed to treat this torture as if she were performing and Buffy was sure that the performance was both for Spike and for Angel himself. Without being told, The Slayer inherently knew that the delicate strokes of anguish were learned from the victim himself.
When she turned and walked away, every step was a maiming. It took every ounce of her will to keep on walking and every ounce of the same will kept her from going back. Leaving Angel there with his children's torment was worse than impalement, especially when she saw the haunted look in his eyes. The memory of his body, twitching and sweating would scar her memory for the rest of her short life.
Betrayal was becoming a finely crafted art as she forced herself to take another step away from true love. She shook her head as the tears fell down her cheeks. This action was proof that she hadn't learned a damn thing.
***
//some deep shit//
Giles was buried in a book when an urgent knock erupted on his door. Well, his face was buried in a book. He sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily, donned his glasses and saw with much irritation that he had drooled on page 364 of a priceless text. His irritation quickly dissipated when he answered the door and saw a very pale and bleeding Oz standing there. The stoic boy definitely had an expression on his face - of terror.
"Larry's dead," Oz blurted as Giles hurried to the kitchen for the first aid kit.
"Dear Lord," Giles whispered as he pried the guitarist's fingers away from his wound, "How did you get away?"
"Buffy wasn't kidding about Angel being a white hat," Oz answered, "He saved me and I ran...A vampire saved me from vampires. Weird."
"I should say so," Giles said, opening a bandage, "Where's Angel now?"
"They got him."
"Did you happen to see Buffy?"
"No," Oz said, "You think they'll kill one of their own kind?"
"He kills them, doesn't he?"
***
//tell me why does my heart make a fool of me
seems its my destiny
for love to cause me misery//
Angel realized for the first time, as Drusilla visited her attention on him, that he could sense Buffy. He could sense her in the room, could feel her eyes on him. She felt distant, cold. And she was moving away. He knew the second she stepped from the room and the layer of ice she had melted reformed itself on his soul. He was an idiot to think that she could love him. She was too blindingly bright, her soul too colorful to stand beside the grayness inside him.
He stopped pulling at his restraints when she left. How could he be so thick to even dream that he would find redemption in her arms? He came here to help her and tried to hold on to that fleeting thought. But she left him to his children and he knew he deserved every second of pain he received. The Angel who was trying so hard to earn his paradise, had tragically forgotten just how frail it really was.
"You reek of The Slayer," Drusilla said, kneeling between Angel's legs. She gripped his upper thighs and leaned in inhaling deeply, "But you haven't had her."
"Dru," Angel growled.
"Hush," she ordered, tracing the marks she had made on his chest and then whispered, "Beautiful. You always were...so beautiful. I think I'll keep you this time."
"First Willow, now you," Angel said, disobeying her order, "This is getting old. Just get it over with."
"Don't think your girl will come save you? I don't think we should waste time on the torture, love, just stake him now," Spike taunted from his front row seat several feet away. He leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on another. He lit a cigarette and blew smoke rings lazily at the ceiling.
"Always in a hurry, aren't you?" Angel said as icy resolution formed more solidly over his emotions, "You should learn to slow down. She'll kill you, buddy, don't worry."
Angel looked at Dru who was still moving her hands over his chest. Angel smiled at her, "Dru knows how to take her time. Don't you, baby?"
"Yeah," she said, leaning in to scrape her fangs down his chest, leaving a bloody trail behind her.
"Remember what it's like to be pleased?" Angel whispered down to her.
"Shut up," Spike demanded, rising to his feet.
"What's the matter, Spike?" Angel said, hoping with all his heart that his Childe would put him out of his misery, "Have you been blocking the memory of your mate coming around my cock?"
Angel laughed out loud as Spike pulled Dru away from him and kicked him hard in the face.
"See, Dru?" Angel said huskily, "No patience. I could give you some pointers, Spike. She likes to be teased."
Angel laughed again as Spike's fist made contact with his face. He tasted his own blood on his lips licked them slowly.
"You're fucking dust, mate," Spike said, lifting the chair he had recently vacated and breaking it on the floor. He picked up a loose chair leg and approached his Sire, but was stopped by the hand of his mate.
"No," she said, shaking her head slowly, "I'm not finished, Spike."
"Damn it, Dru," Spike shouted, "You're going to let him live?"
"No," she said, moving back to her Sire, "He wants you to kill him. He wants to be free of the torment. We need him to get to Darla."
"We don't bloody need him," Spike growled, "I can kill the bitch without him!"
Angel growled, showing his irritation. Drusilla was always smarter than anyone gave her credit for. His growl won him a sparkling smile and she knelt before him again and licked his lips, tasting his blood.
"Back off, bitch."
The voice cause all three vampires to turn their heads toward the door, where Buffy stood with her hands on her narrow hips.
"Mmmm," Dru said, standing, "The Slayer."
"And you are?" Buffy asked, strolling in the room.
"Get out of here, Buffy," Angel growled.
"Hiya cutie," Spike said smiling. Now they were getting to the fun.
"Spike," Buffy said, "This your ho?"
"Drusilla," Spike corrected.
"Yeah, that's what I said," she said with a grin, "Are ya done with Angel, cause we really have to get going? It's late you know. Need my beauty sleep."
"We'll tuck you in," Spike said as he moved toward her.
***
//though i can't go on, i'm not satisfied with this being the end.
it's just the beginning//
Buffy looked over Angel's two offspring, noting their movements. She had made it about a block before she realized that she needed Angel to live. She needed him in her life, needed the love he gave. She had spent so much time fighting for her life and not knowing what a life was, that she forgot what it was like to *want* to be *alive.* Not just of the living. She had forgotten what it meant to want love, want companionship. She had forgotten that it's the wanting that keeps us alive.
She realized when Angel did that they were connected in a way that couldn't be explained. The thought of his death began to kill her inside as if it had already happened. She knew that she couldn't walk away. She knew as she turned around that she would never be able to. The most sobering realization was the depth of her love for him in such a short time. She went from having nothing to everything. Once she glimpsed everything, she couldn't be content with anything else.
She struck out at the bleach blonde vampire that approached her and noticed that Drusilla hung back and smiled, letting her lover work. Drusilla always enjoyed watching him. His violence was lickable, his movements fluid and fierce. She felt the arousal that Angel began being completed by her mate. He was delicious.
Spike couldn't wait to sink his teeth into her frail throat. He wasn't like Angel. He didn't like to toy with his victims, make them tearfully beg for their lives, he liked the speed, loved the rush. He had no patience with making his kill a carefully planned slip into insanity, he wanted it now.
Unfortunately, The Slayer wasn't cooperating. She blocked his every blow, parried his movements, forced him from offense to defense in a single play. He was riveted by her determination and anger. This bint was a worthy adversary.
But he might have gotten to taste her blood, might have seized the opportunity to break at least one of her bones, if an arrow hadn't penetrated his breast plate, missing his heart by two inches. He looked up in surprise, finding the Watcher and the boy standing there with identical crossbows. He turned back when he heard Dru's wail of pain as an arrow struck her. He ran to her side, thankful that between the two helpers of The Slayer, neither one of them could aim worth a piss.
"Might wanna use the crosshairs," Spike said, yanking the bolt from his chest and tossing it to the floor. He grabbed Dru's hand as arrows began flying at them and ran from the room, leaving the sound of echoing footsteps and an enraged, "Bloody Hell" echoing off the walls. Buffy ran to Angel's side, rather than following the two and was already sobbing when she reached him.
Her hands shook as she untied him and once her task was completed, she laid her head on his chest and heaved years of pent up emotion on him. She unleashed everything for him, bared her soul and laid it at his feet. Once the floodgates opened, they could not be stopped and so he wrapped his arms around her and gathered her close, meeting the eyes of Giles and Oz as they backed from the room.
***
//i felt my knees get weak
his body was callin' me
just couldn't take the heat//
"I almost let you die," Buffy said, in an almost hiccup. They were the first words she had spoken on the way from The Bronze to the mansion.
"I would have deserved it," he answered. Angel was trapped in the memory of every coup de grace, every shrewd massacre and every twinkle of delight his soulless half felt during his years as "The Scourge of Europe." He knew that the black and white words she had read about him didn't describe a tenth of what he had done.
"No," she said, looking up at him with tearful eyes.
"You've read about who I used to be, Buffy," he said, "I have no right to even dream about you loving me. I'll never be worthy of it."
"You are worthy," she said, moving into his arms, "And you have it."
"I have it?" he gasped, pulling her back from his chest to look into her eyes, "You...love *me*?"
She nodded, meeting his eyes, "That's why I came back for you. I couldn't lose you. I love you."
"I love you," he said, feeling emotions he had never felt before swelling inside himself, "I think I've always loved you."
Angel found his way to her lips and couldn't stop himself from pulling her back into his arms, delving into her mouth. The kiss deepened and with it grew eternal want. Angel felt his demon slamming at the cage he kept it in as the smell of her arousal attacked his senses. He broke the kiss and stumbled away, heaving deep breaths to calm himself. When he was in her arms, it was difficult for him to remember that she was just a young, naive girl.
"W-what's wrong?" she asked with pink swollen lips that made his body hurdle full force into dizzying lust. Her chest heaved in time with his as she took in oxygen that she, unlike him, actually needed.
"This is moving too fast," he said hoarsely, trying not to allow his eyes to travel over her nubile body.
"I thought you wanted me," Buffy said, biting her lower lip to keep new tears from squeezing from her eyes. It was almost as if once she had allowed him to see her cry, once she had allowed herself to show that emotion, it could be inflicted freely at any moment.
"I do," Angel answered huskily, "God Buffy, I want more than anything else to make love to you. I just think we should, you know, wait."
"For what?" she asked quietly. Her innocence was a weapon and it left scars as it moved over him. He stared at her, unspeaking, trying to make his brain work, desperately searching for a reason why he couldn't make love to her. Buffy took his silence as an invitation and moved across the room in slow motion, each step causing his blood to boil. The light touch of her fingertips on his cold flesh made him shiver with delight. Against his will, he moved away again, finding himself in the atrium, staring at the barren fountain. The hard concrete in front of him was nothing but a reflection of the beauty approaching him from behind.
"For what?" she whispered again, standing less than a foot from him, staring at his tattoo. He could feel her breath caressing his skin and it was far worse than the torture he went through tonight.
"I don't deserve you," Angel said, turning to face her, "I can't..."
"Love isn't about deserving, Angel," Buffy said, finding more wisdom in her short years than he had in his extensive ones, "If it were then no one would ever be worthy of it, no one would deserve it. If you don't love me, then...who are you punishing? You or me?"
Angel's barriers crumbled at The Slayer's feet and his soul laid itself open for her to claim. He wound himself back into her arms and swept her into his arms, carrying her to the bedroom while he sucked her tongue into his cool mouth. He set her back on her feet once inside the room and slowly removed her clothes, giving her plenty of opportunity to stop him, to run away. As inch after inch of exquisite skin was revealed, he half waited for her retreat.
Tiny trembling fingertips unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them. Every muscle in his body tensed as she undressed him in slow, dreamy movements. Her young, curious eyes feasted his flesh and he waited as her increasingly wet heat beckoned him. He took a step toward her, almost as a test and she stood her ground, waiting for him.
He moved from her lips to her neck, over her delicate collarbone and finally to her sharply erect nipples as he lowered her to the bed. She sucked in a deep breath and released it as a ragged moan as he laved her breasts, giving them equally unbearable pleasure.
Each tiny movement became a step to her alter, as he abandoned her breasts for her stomach. He made his way down to her moist core and hesitated, looking up at her fogged green eyes for doubt before opening her legs. When she showed no reluctance, he leaned in, inhaling her heavenly scent. He smoothed his large hands over her inner thighs as he teased her folds open with his tongue, delighting in her moans and in the perfect taste of her.
He circled her clit with the tip of his tongue and concentrated on her desperate whimpers before sucking it between his lips. He visited absolute worship on her, gliding his tongue inside her and alternating his attention between her untouched depths and her inflamed clit. She came quickly, bucking beneath him, gripping his shoulders with Slayer strength as she came.
The sound of his own name released in a scream from her lips was the most erotic thing he had ever heard in his two hundred forty plus years. He kissed his way back up her body, finally inhaling her ragged breaths into himself when he reached her lips. He was throbbing for her as they kissed once more, knowing that she could taste herself in his mouth.
He hovered at her entrance, feeling guilt rise up in him for what he was about to do. To take her virginity seemed like the ultimate trespass on the forces of light and so he whispered, "Are you sure, Buffy?"
"Yes," she answered breathlessly, while clutching his shoulders so hard that he was sure his muscles were atrophying beneath her fingers. He looked down at her with doubt and she finally gasped, "Make love to me, Angel."
He took a long pull on her full lips as he inched his way inside her, slipping a hand between them to manipulate her clit as he went, bracing himself for the pain he was about to cause her. As he entered her fully, he sucked her moan of pain into his mouth. He stayed unmoving inside her as he continued to rub her clit in slow circles, allowing her grow accustomed to him.
When she finally climaxed, he began moving inside her, slowly pulling out almost fully and returning to her. He almost lost control as she began moving with him - reluctantly at first and then more aggressively. She opened wider for him as he increased the speed of his thrusts. She came a third time and Angel thought he might have temporarily lost his sight as the room spun around him.
He threaded his fingers through her golden tangles and kissed her deeply as he felt his own climax nearing. He felt her rising off the bed beneath him, meeting his every stride, arching against him as they moved together. He steeled his control as he reached between them, needing to feel the euphoria of her orgasm one more time before he released his own. Finding her hypersensitive clit once more, he pinched it between his fingertips, causing an instantaneous shattering release. Losing all constraint, he cried out her name as he came.
***
Part Seven
//i don't want love to destroy me//
Buffy was extremely nervous about Angel meeting Giles for the first time. On the walk over, she went from holding his hand, to standing a respectable distance from him, to clinging to him like she thought he would explode into dust at any given moment. By the time they reached the door, she was back to standing apart from him and as she knocked, she itched to reach out and touch him one more time. But she didn't.
Giles analyzed the vampire as if he were an ancient artifact that had just become animate and much to Buffy's surprise, Angel acted like he didn't notice. He graciously accepted the offered seat and she watched as he lowered his large frame to the chair. The man made sitting look like an art form and she found that she had to force her eyes away from him, trying to forget what he looked like underneath his black clothes. She blushed as she sat across the room from him and became slightly paranoid, as if Giles and Oz already knew she was mentally in his lap.
"Angel," Giles said, taking a seat next to Oz and pretending not to be nervous that he just invited a blood sucking fiend into his house, "I've read up on your past and I believe I understand the Romany curse. However, I hope you won't find offense if I ask you if your soul is permanent. Is it possible to revert to, um, your previous self?"
"I hope not," Angel answered honestly, "I don't know how the curse could be broken."
"I see," Giles said, reflectively leaning back against the couch, pretending relaxation, "Perhaps the issue warrants some research."
Buffy stifled a laugh at Giles' overactive nerdiness. The man simply couldn't go without having the answer to everything all the time. Despite herself, she found it almost endearing.
"You can try," Angel answered, "But I wouldn't know the first place to look. Those magicks were long lost, even to the Romany themselves."
"So you don't know the curse?" Oz asked, speaking for the first time.
"No," Angel said, shaking his head, "Why would you want it anyway?"
"Willow," Oz mumbled. Angel stifled a growl at the mention of the redhead. He held his tongue and the rumbling in his chest. He knew now how Oz felt about her and didn't regret one bit that he didn't plan to let the bitch live. He didn't want to restore her soul, he wanted to turn her into fertilizer.
"Okay, moving right along," Buffy said, interrupting the awkward silence, "What about the rest of our undead pests?"
"They're too strong," Angel said, bursting all the bubbles in the room, "They need to be taken out one at a time and they like to travel in packs."
"Geez, Mr. Sunshine," Buffy snapped, "Can't we have an idea here?"
"Idea over here," Oz offered. All eyes turned on him and he let the pause last longer than Buffy liked before he started talking again, "Angel can infiltrate and pretend he's one of them again."
"That has some merit," Giles said, cleaning his glasses furiously with excitement. The glimpse of having a decent town again was an utopian ideal that he just couldn't let go of, "Angel, do you think you could fool them long enough to reduce their numbers?"
"Yeah," Angel said, grim faced. He had expected this. He could take them all out, most likely. The thought of staking his entire bloodline would be a welcome release of a certain amount of his brooding, but the things he would have to do to accomplish it. He would lose Buffy over those certain unseemly things. He was certain of it. "I could..."
"But?" Buffy asked, scooting to the edge of her seat and leaning in to listen.
"You don't want that, Buffy," Angel said, struggling for the words to explain, "Becoming who I was...even pretending. You don't want me to do this. Trust me."
"I'm not stupid, Angel. I know what you were. Just try not to kill people while you're pretending. Take out some of them nice and quick, then come back before you get staked. I understand the badness, but I don't get why you're all twitchy about it."
"Maybe we should talk about this in private before we make a decision," Angel urged.
"Why?" Buffy asked, trapped in the world of not getting it and beginning to feel her anger return. Angel was all about helping and then he switched gears suddenly. She should've known she was going to be alone in this fight. Again. Still. Dammit. "If you don't want to do this, just tell me."
"It's not that," Angel pleaded, "I just..."
"What?" Buffy said, feeling the eyes of Giles and Oz on her.
"This isn't a one day thing, Buffy," Angel said, "I was Darla's mate for 150 years. She knows I've changed. I'd have to prove to her that I was back...in ways you wouldn't..."
Angel paused, gathering his argument, "Spike and Drusilla are my brethren..."
"Spit it out!" Buffy said, rising to her feet, "God! What's the point? You're going to have to kill people? Is that what you're saying?"
"No," Angel said, standing to his feet and meeting her angry glare, "I'm saying I was Darla's *mate,* Buffy! I'm saying that returning to the fold is returning to her bed! It's the only way she would believe it. Vampires are not only about blood, okay? When I was Angelus I fucked anything that moved, which included Darla and Drusilla. I was a master of torture and made killing into an art! I can't walk in and say, ‘Hi guys, I'm back. No, I'm not hungry right now and please don't expect me to sleep with you or do anything I'd would normally do.' Think that's gonna work, baby?"
"I'm sorry," Angel said as Buffy's widen eyes began to tear up, "I didn't mean it to come out that way."
"Me too," Buffy said through gritted teeth, heading for the door. She paused and turned back around, "You know, *baby,* I don't think this is about killing people or sex. You're afraid of them. You're afraid of yourself!"
"You're right," Angel said to the slamming door and headed toward it, ignoring the slacked jaws of the two remaining people in the room.
***
//i've been down this road before
with a passion that turns into pain//
Angel ran after Buffy and caught her arm, spinning her around to face him. An unexpected punch in the face sent him back a step and he immediately returned to her space, sporting his game face.
"This is who I am," Angel growled, "Take a good look, Buffy."
"When will you stop treating me like I've been in a closet until now?" Buffy yelled, "I get that you're a vampire! Trust me, I know."
"I love you," Angel said through a mouthful of fangs, "But I knew I would lose you the moment you offered your love. You said I was afraid. You're damn right! I'm terrified that I will lose you over this."
"What makes you think you have me?" Buffy challenged, hands on her hips, chest heaving with frustration.
"Dammit, Buffy," Angel said, returning to his handsome human face, "Please understand me. I don't want to be with her. I love you. What if I walk back into that world pretending to be something and then become it? Giles wanted to know if I could lose my soul. What if I can?"
"You won't," Buffy said, "I don't want this. But what other choice is there? How can we stop them?"
"I don't know," Angel said sadly, "It might be the only option and I'll do it if you ask me to. I can't promise that things won't happen, things we will both regret."
"Angel!" Oz said, sprinting from Giles' door. Angel turned and faced the boy, waiting for him to continue, "Please don't kill Willow. I know she's evil, but I'll find the curse."
"I can't make any promises," Angel answered, "I know you love her. But you know, she's brilliant. She might figure it out before the rest. If she does, I'll be forced to kill her."
"I know she tortured you. This is asking a lot but please, promise me you'll try," Oz said, seeing through Angel's argument. He saw the look in Angel's eyes at the mention of her name. Angel glanced at Buffy and sighed deeply. Love was a bitch.
"You're right. It is asking a lot," Angel snapped after a long hesitation, "But I promise I'll try."
"Thank you," Oz said, turning back toward Giles' flat. Leaning toward the genius side himself, Oz now had a new goal that would dominate all his time until he achieved it. He felt strange with this level of determination but knew that if Willow died, a large part of himself would fall to ash with her.
***
//you make me sick
i want you and i'm hatin' it//
Angel stalked after Buffy toward the mansion. She walked in silence, focusing on the sound of their angry footsteps. Into the mansion, the silence continued, cracking the walls with its fierceness. Buffy stopped in the middle of the Great Room and looked around. What the hell was she doing there? She couldn't go into the bedroom, that was for damn sure and she couldn't remain standing there with his eyes digging into her skin.
"I hate you," she swore, turning on him, dry eyed and furious, "I hate that you can make me feel this way."
"I don't want this, Buffy," Angel said, sucking in the anger he knew was his, "I don't want to hurt you. I want to be a normal guy in love with a normal girl, but that's not the deal."
"Yeah, I'm getting that," Buffy said, turning toward the door again, "I'm not as intensely stupid as you think I am. Go to Darla. Fuck your *mate* and hopefully you'll have the sack to kill her."
Buffy didn't have a chance to react when she found herself pressed against the atrium wall, Angel's insistent arousal pressing into her stomach and a strangely sexy growl coming from his throat.
"*You* are my mate," he growled, grinding against her, "I don't want her, I want you. That's what I've been trying to say but you're not fucking listening to me."
"Whatever," Buffy whimpered, trying to sound sure and failing miserably. To believe he loved her was still difficult. As beautiful as one night of making love to him had been, he was still a demon. And he was still a man, which was even more frightening to the woman inside The Slayer. He already had the power to crush her and it was a paralyzing realization. His power over her was more than she could handle. After so long of being by herself, depending on no one, even the thought of depending on him was breaking her down. She had no idea how much he was already depending on her, how much power she held in her tiny hands.
"When are you going to believe me?" Angel growled, releasing her and stepping away. Her nearly silent moan of disappointment didn't escape his ears, however, and it gave him a tiny twinge of hope, "I want to spend every moment with you! Not Darla, not Drusilla. The only person I've loved in my entirely too long life is YOU. I love you, Buffy. I don't care about anything else. If you want me to go to them, I will. If you want me to take out every goddamn vampire in the world, I will but you have to promise me you'll forgive me for what I have to do."
"I can't promise that," Buffy answered honestly, "I want to trust you, but I can't. I can't allow myself to be that weak."
"You think I'm not weak?" Angel said, struggling to control his exasperation, "You think it's not hard for me to give myself to you, knowing you can gut me with a few words? What happened to the whole love speech you gave me last night? What happened to us deserving this?"
"I don't know," Buffy said, perching on the edge of the empty fountain, "I do love you, Angel. I want to trust you, I really do."
Angel crossed the room and knelt between her legs. His cool fingers intertwined with hers, squeezing her hands, "Do you want me to do it?"
"Yes," Buffy said, while shaking her head no. Tears began to well in her eyes as she met his, "I can't stand the thought of you and her..."
"I only make love you to," he said, "I've only ever made love to you."
"Have I mentioned that I hate you?" she said, smiling through her tears.
"You might've mentioned that," Angel said with a crooked, half smile.
***
"I'm not going to miss you," Buffy lied unconvincingly as she laid her head on his chest and traced his stomach muscles with the tip of her finger.
"I know," he lied back, "I knew you were tired of me already."
"I am," she said with an exaggerated sigh, "You're just so boring."
"I get that a lot," he said huskily as his large hand caressed her back, sending shivers down her spine.
"When are you leaving?" she asked, looking up at him.
"Tonight," Angel said, "Before sunrise."
"Tonight?" she asked, sitting up and bracing her small hands on his chest.
"I can't put it off," he answered, "It'll just torture us both until it's over."
Buffy's whole body tensed with the word "over." Until what is over? Killing the cadre of master vampires waiting across town or the fledgling relationship trembling like a leaf in a hurricane?
***
//kinda funny, but i wasn't even nervous//
Angel walked into the main room of the collapsed church which used to be the Master's holding cell. Darla was in the middle of one of her famous speeches. He almost laughed as he watched her. She just loved an audience, loved the lustful gaze of the male vampires touching her skin.
"Hatched a plan to kill me yet?" Angel asked with a cold smile, adopting the cocky swagger of his old self as he crossed the room.
"Well, this is an expected surprise," Darla said, returning his smile.
He felt the whole room prickling against him, tensing for a fight. He inhaled deeply and grabbed the vampire nearest to him by the sides of his face. He twisted and pulled up at the same time, ripping the demon's head from his shoulders. He let the room watch as the head in his hands became dust and joined the rest of his body on the floor. He easily kicked off the three vampires who dared attack him and growled at the room, "That was a lesson."
"A lesson?" Darla asked, intrigued, swinging her hips as she closed half the distance between them.
"Yeah," Angel nodded with his best Angelus-esque sneer, "No one fucks you but me. The next vamp that dares trespass over my territory will lose more than his head."
"Angelus?" she whispered with hope in her eyes.
"Yeah baby," he answered, "I'm back."
***
TBC…
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