And Buffy told him so. "She's not worth your time, Angel," she started, somehow managing to control herself. "She's a *killer.* She's dangerous, sh-she...God, Angel, why are we even having this conversation? This is stupid, we--"
"You're right, this is stupid," Angel interrupted. "Faith has to be dealt with, I'm with you there. But we can't just give up on her, and we can't throw the book at her."
"Book? I don't want to throw a book at her," Buffy said, shaking her head. "I want to throw the whole damn library!" Angel spun back around on the balls of his feet to face her once more. He'd never heard her say anything with so much venom in her voice. She stood before him literally shaking with anger. She repeated her words again slowly, with precision. "Faith's a killer. She's a ticking time bomb! She--"
"And I'm the same thing she is," Angel whispered, his fists clenching so tightly that his fingernails bit into his skin.
"No, you're not. How many times do we have to go over this? That *wasn't* you, Angel, you didn't kill all those people! And yet *you're* the one who's making up for it all! You're completely different from her," Buffy argued, shouting the last part at him.
"Am I?" Angel asked almost dangerously, suddenly stalking up to her. He grabbed her arms roughly and pulled her body flush up against his, leaning down to look her in the eye. His unnecessary breath was uncharacteristically hot on her face as he continued. "Am I really? I've killed before. Maybe not me, but these hands have. This body has. I remember it all, every scream, drop of blood. And when I'm around you, *I'm* the ticking time bomb."
His grip on her arms tightened with each sentence and his eyes tracked her wildly. "Angel, you're hurting me," she whispered. He released her instantly, backing up and running a hand through his hair in an effort to gain back his self-control. "Why do you want to help her?" Buffy asked quietly, rubbing her slightly sore arms.
"I've gotten a second chance, Buffy," Angel said softly after a long pause, his eyes refusing to meet hers in embarrassment. "I made a lot of mistakes, and a lot of bad choices. But I can make up for them now. I can make amends, I can atone. Faith's no different from me, why do I get a chance if she doesn't?"
"Angel, you *are* different. You want to change. Faith doesn't. She knew what she was doing when she went to the Mayor. She knew what she was doing when she poisoned you!" Buffy's voice rose sharply, until she was nearly screaming at him. "She knew what she was doing when she stole my body! She knows *everything* that she does, and she doesn't care! She. Doesn't. Care." She crossed her arms over her chest in an effort to keep from breaking something in her anger.
"You don't know that!" Angel countered, pacing in front of her, his large strides eating up the hard wood floor. "You don't know what's going through her head, Buffy. You-you don't know what it's like."
"You're right," Buffy said, throwing her hands up in the air in defeat. "You're right! I don't know what it's like to kill someone. I don't know what it's like to go all psychotic on my former friends. So I'm sorry if I can't exactly identify with her, but that does *not*--"
"But I can," Angel interrupted, stopping mid-stride to address her directly. "I know everything she's going through, everything she's been through. I know what it's like to not have anyone in the world, no family, no friends. She needs us."
"She needs us," Buffy spat. "You keep saying that, and I just don't know how you possibly can. She doesn't need us, Angel. She doesn't need anyone, something she's proven more than once."
Angel stared at her, not understanding why she didn't see it. How she'd never seen it. "You don't get it, do you?" he asked with a shake of his head, a small, somewhat sad smile playing across his lips.
"Get what?" she asked, bewildered suddenly by the shift in conversation from Faith to herself.
"Buffy, compared to Faith you have everything," Angel said, holding up his hand to silence her. "You have the family, the Watcher, the friends, the..." He faltered for a moment and had to look away. "The boyfriend. She's never had a real family, she's never had real friends. Her Watcher died right in front of her. The closest thing she's ever had to stable was her relationship with the Mayor. You have to put things in perspective, Buffy."
"I have perspective. I'm *choking* on all this perspective. Faith's had it rough: I get it."
"No, I don't think you do," Angel said quietly, his gaze burning into hers.
"You do realize that all Faith's wanted since we've known her is to be like you, right? She may have never said it, but it's so obvious. She's wanted the 'perfect' life that you have, she wants the friends and family that love her. Since she hasn't gotten it, she took it from you. Literally."
"You know, the book jacket sounds really nice and all, but I just don't think it's gonna make the best seller list because *no one cares*," she said harshly.
"I care."
"Is that right?" she countered, an ancient memory surfacing in her mind and for a moment she was standing before Xander again, arguing with him over the restoration of Angel's soul...
"It is," he said, not backing down. "No one else understands it like I do. She wants to *be* you on some unconscious level."
"Oh, great, so now I have a stalker," Buffy grumbled, folding her arms over her chest again. She shook her dark head. "And she stole my body...why? Because she likes my eyes?"
"It's a cry for help. She wants someone to rescue her from her pathetic excuse of a life," Angel said, finally spelling it out for her. Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Generally, if you want help, you say it. Out loud. You don't go stealing people's bodies and their lives and hope they can read all the signs," she snapped, her eyes sparking with renewed anger. She turned away from him and tried to breathe deeply, tried to calm down.
"Faith deserves a second chance, Buffy. Everyone does," Angel said quietly, taking small steps towards her, his eyes nailing her in place. "I've killed hundreds of more people than Faith has. I've done things she's never even dreamed of. I've--" His voice broke, and he had to lick his suddenly dry lips before continuing. "Now I have everything...love, a family, friends. Twins on the way. Things I don't deserve. How is it that I can have all that and she doesn't even get the opportunity to change?"
Buffy was thankful that she was facing away from him, for she had no answer for him.
*~*
The Sunnydale group arrived in Los Angeles shortly afterward--somehow managing to get there in one piece. Giles followed the directions Wesley had given him and maneuvered through the streets to Angel's building. The traffic rushed by as they pulled over and parked in front of a tall tan building. Checking the address several times, Willow nodded.
"This is it," she said, peering out at the building. There were no signs or indications that it was Angel's office...in fact, she was kind of disappointed. She'd been expecting a big sign and a big picture window in front like the old detective agencies from the '50s...although now that she thought about it, she realized that it wouldn't be very convenient for the vampire.
"Yep, this is it all right," Spike said, peeking out the window carefully to avoid the killer sun. "Kinda anti-climatic, don't you agree?"
"I was hoping for a welcoming party myself," Faith said. Anya finally turned off her loud music and removed her headphones, smoothing out her dark hair.
"Like they'd waste their time on one," she muttered as she reached past Xander to open the side door and practically shoved him out ahead of her. He shot her a nasty look and caught himself from falling, brushing his clothing off.
"Thanks for the help, Anya, I have such trouble opening doors," he said as he began removing the bags that had been stuffed at his feet. His estranged girlfriend rolled her eyes and ignored him.
Giles joined Xander and together they unloaded the rest of the supplies before he reached into the back to get Faith as well. Making sure her chains were firmly in place, he placed her on the ground and motioned for Willow to come over and keep an eye on her.
"Hey, watch--" Xander snapped as he was pushed from behind. He stumbled and fell onto the unyielding pavement, taking the brunt on his palms. He looked up to yell at the person who'd knocked him down, and stopped short when he saw that it had been a beautiful blond on roller blades, complete with incredibly short shorts and a bikini top. Anya caught him staring and nearly saw red.
"What, you want to fuck her too?" She snapped.
"Anya!" Giles scolded, aware that they were now drawing a small audience. The ex-demon scowled.
"What? I've never been this angry before. Cursing helps."
"Oh get over it already!" Faith sighed. "Xander and I had sex. Hot, passionate, sweaty sex. Deal and move on for Christ's sake!"
"Don't tell me to do *anything*, I--"
"Anya, drop it," Xander said. His voice was low and authoritative, and she looked at him with a mixture of shock and disgust.
"Xander--"
"Anya, DROP IT," he said again. "We will talk about this later, when we're alone."
While they had been talking, Riley and Tara had parked and gotten out of the Riley's jeep and were now standing on the curb. Riley kept glancing up at the building, wondering what would happen when he saw Buffy again. When he finally met this Angel that no one seemed to want to talk about. There was so much he wanted to say to her, about how he'd missed her and how sorry he was and about the baby...he just wanted to hold her again.
"Let's get this circus inside, hmmm?" Giles said as he finished unloading the supplies. Spike was the only one left in the van, cowering in the shade.
"Great, how am I going to get out?" Spike grumbled.
"Well, you can make a run for it," Xander suggested. "'Course, you didn't bring your SPF five million so that might be a problem...for you, anyway. I don't think the rest of us will mind you getting a nice tan."
"You're very lucky you're standing in the sun right now," Spike growled.
"Why, what were you planning on doing? It's not like you could touch me--well, not in anger anyway. I don't even want to think about you wanting to touch me in a non-hurting way."
"I'm getting a major headache listening to the two of you!" Willow said exasperatedly. "Spike, use your blanket and make a run for it. And hurry up, because we need to get Faith inside. People are starting to gawk."
"Yes, do hurry, Spike...we all can't wait to see Buffy again," she snapped. Spike gave her a lop-sided smile.
"When you get your body back, you and me are gonna have some fun," he whispered to her. She winked back.
"Count on it, baby." With that, he wrapped his blanket around his body and made a run for it, yelping when his hand nearly caught on fire from exposure.
They got plenty of strange looks from the pedestrians that strolled by. Xander smiled broadly at several of the women that passed them, watching them walk away as he said, "It's nice to see so many women who look so...healthy."
Anya hit him on the arm in disgust as she scowled. "What, do you want to go have sex with them, too? Wait here, I'll get their phone numbers for you. Maybe even an address if you're lucky."
"Can you do this later?" Riley asked as he took Faith by the arm and led her up the steps. She tried to shrink back from his touch, but he held her firmly and made a face at a businessman who stared at her chains as he went by.
"I second it," Willow agreed.
Giles joined them with the rest of their things and said, "I've been seconding that since this whole mess started."
"Okay, so where is it?" Xander asked.
"Straight ahead, first office on the left," Willow told him after consulting the directions. The group made their way down the hallway rather awkwardly, suddenly feeling out of place in the building. This was Angel's territory, and none of them--with the exception of Spike--had been there before. They quickly came upon the door that had 'Angel Investigations' painted on it, and with Giles and Willow in the lead they entered the office.
"We'll be right with you," Cordelia's voice called from the other room. They stood in the center of the room, unsure of what to do.
"This is a...nice set-up Dead Boy's got for himself," Xander commented as he glanced around the room. "Look, he even has coffee! Wonder if it's safe to drink."
"It's not--not when Cordelia makes it, anyway," Wesley said as he entered the room. They all looked up, shocked at seeing him, when he spoke. Cordelia followed him in and hit him good-naturedly on the arm as she dumped a few crosses and two vials of holy water on her desk.
"Always goes perfectly with your ass-kissing donuts," she retorted. She crossed her arms over her chest and eyed the new arrivals warily. "God, it's like a high school reunion."
"Good to see you too, Cordy," Xander said, flashing her a smile. "What's Watcher Guy doing here? And what's with the equipment? Expecting Spike to give you a hard time?"
"What's he doing here?" She countered, her eyes flickering over the blond vampire as she picked up a stake and twirled it idly between her fingertips.
"Don't worry, he's impotent," Anya said.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Spike grumbled when she started giggling, crossing his arms over his chest in defense and glaring at the ex-demon.
"Impotent?" Wesley repeated.
"Yeah, impotent. Flaccid. Unable to perform. Can't--"
"That's enough!" Spike roared, backing into the wall as he tried to escape their laughing eyes. "You talk like I can't bloody get it up."
"Can we not go there?" Cordelia intervened, raising a finger to draw attention to herself.
"How about we go to where Buffy is," Riley spoke up. Cordelia turned her gaze on him in impatience.
"Oh look, it's Buffy's new beau. Riley, right? I had a vision of you kissing Faith. Seems kind of apropos, seeing as how your little Buffy was--"
Wesley quickly covered her mouth with his hand. She made an annoyed noise, but he wouldn't budge until she quieted.
"Was what?" Riley asked worriedly, stepping forward. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."
"That's because I didn't throw it to you," she said hotly, wincing as she realized how lame she sounded and putting down the stake to stick her hand out. Angel SO owed her... Riley gripped it as she continued, "Cordelia Chase, budding actress. This secretary stuff is just a day job."
Riley turned to Wesley, his hand still outstretched. "Riley Finn, and you are...?"
"Wesley Wyndham-Price," Wes said, shaking the commando's hand firmly.
"Well, now that everyone knows everyone else, can we get Buffy and switch them back already?" Xander asked.
"It's nice to see that you haven't developed patience yet," Cordelia said, tossing her long hair behind her and resuming her stake-play. "I'm still welcoming. Anya, what're you doing here?"
"She's with me," Xander told her, putting an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. She shrugged it off angrily and glared at him.
"Don't touch me."
Cordelia didn't miss the hostility in the other girl's gaze, and said wryly, "Yep, she must be. No one else could look at you with that kind of anger. What'd you do now, Harris?"
"He slept with me," Faith spoke up. The actress, caught off guard, dropped the stake and turned to stare at her in shock. It clamored to the floor unnoticed as Cordelia sized the other girl up, noting that it was clearly evident that Buffy was *not* in her body. Faith held it so...differently. Unnaturally, too.
"But you just woke up," she said, a note of disbelief in her voice. Her eyes traveled over to stare at Xander, who was looking at the floor guiltily, his arm having fallen from Anya's shoulders.
"Can we talk about this later?" Giles asked, crossing his arms over his chest. "Where are Buffy and Angel?"
He had asked the question that had been running through everyone's minds the entire time that they had been standing making small talk. The room quieted and Wesley and Cordelia shared a nervous glance that didn't go unnoticed. Cordelia looked away from the group and quirked an eyebrow, obviously waiting for Wesley to come up with an explanation.
"Buffy and Angel?" He repeated, trying to stall.
Riley saw right through it. "Where's Buffy?" He asked, nearly pleading with them.
"Buffy...uh...well, you see, Riley...Buffy's downstairs," Cordelia stammered, looking at Wesley for help.
"Right, she and Angel had to clean up."
"What, were they a little sloppy while they romped?" Faith asked, her tone cold. Cordelia paled, wondering how she could have known about that.
"Angel *so* owes us for this," she murmured before speaking louder so that everyone could hear. "They had to go fight some yucky slime demons and needed to get unslimed."
Willow spoke up worriedly. "Are they okay?" She asked, inching closer to Tara. She had been quiet the whole time, her eyes wide as she stared around the office and absorbed everything that was happening. Willow gave her a quick smile before focusing her attention back on Cordelia.
"They're fine," she said tightly, fidgeting in place. "In fact, if you want to check on them you can. Go right through the office, elevator's in back."
Faith quirked a brow and wiggled in her chains. "Why don't you go down and get them?" she asked, a sly smile on her lips.
"We...ah...that is to say--I mean..." Wesley started, silently praying that Cordelia would come to his rescue.
"We don't want to get in the way of anything," Cordelia supplied, saving him. He breathed a sigh of relief and nudged her when he realized how bad it sounded, causing her to look at him before continuing. "It's just that his apartment is so small and with all of you and us...there wouldn't be a lot of room."
"Right," Faith said calmly. "I'm sure."
"Well then," Giles said, trying to move the group along. "We'll just go down there and see them, if that's all right with you."
Cordelia glanced frantically at Wesley again before sighing in defeat when she realized she'd been the one to suggest it in the first place. "Yeah. Sure. Go right ahead. Take this with you, just in case," she said, handing him a stake and smiling brightly. "And tell Buffy that if she screwed *anything* up, she's cleaning up her own mess. I'm not dealing with that again. Oh, and also tell her that if Angel goes back to being his brooding self again after she leaves she's going to pay. Dearly. I've worked too long and too hard to break him of that, and if she causes him to revert she'll be sorry. He's always a mess after she leaves, all whiny and quiet and 'I-love-her-and-miss-her-but-it's-all-for-the-best' and it's nauseating. Do you have any idea how bad depression looks on a vampire? Of course, happiness looks even worse on him--which she'll also have to deal with. Or you can deal with it, whatever you like. I don't get paid enough to."
Her comments served to both fuel their insecurities and confuse them even more. Unsure, they glanced around at one another in an attempt to comprehend it all. Cordelia smiled smugly and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning back against her desk once more.
"She was just kidding," Wesley said, trying to relieve some of the tension in the room. "You know, on second thought, why don't I go down and warn--uh, let them know that you're here?"
Cordelia sighed. "No, you stay. I'll do it."
*~*
Buffy was rapidly trying to process what Angel had just told her. He had just shared one of his deepest fears with her, and it was taking some time for her to digest it, to digest everything they had been fighting about.
She was about to turn around when a sudden, sharp wave of dizziness hit and she wavered on her feet. Angel was thankfully standing right behind her, and swept her into his arms to help steady her before she could fall. She felt nauseous and light-headed, and gladly collapsed against his unyielding chest.
"Are you okay?" Angel asked, concern evident in his voice as he pulled her closer still, trying to somehow shield her from any pain. She raised a shaky hand to her head, pressing it against her cheek.
"Yeah, I just...I..." She stiffened suddenly, her eyes flying to the stairwell. "They're here."
Angel's gaze followed hers, and he reached out with his enhanced senses, nodding when he felt the new presences. "How did you know?" he asked as he guided her over to the couch and helped her to sit down.
"I...I don't know," Buffy said honestly. "I suddenly felt really dizzy and...I just knew that Faith was here."
"Do you think it was because of that strange connection you have?" Angel asked, tucking a loose piece of hair back behind her ear.
"I think that anything's possible, especially now," Buffy said as she leaned back and closed her eyes. Angel hovered over her protectively, their argument pushed into the back of his mind. She opened her eyes to peer at him and said softly, "Guess it's show time, huh?"
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"No, but I will be," she said. "Now how are we gonna do this?"
Angel swallowed and pulled her into his arms suddenly, his lips meeting hers in a desperate kiss. She returned it without pretense or hesitation, her lips melding with his furiously over and over again. Finally, the need to breathe overtook her and she pulled away but didn't go far, resting her forehead against his as she panted.
"Well, I know that we can't do that in front of them," he teased, nuzzling his cheek against hers.
"And I also know that we have to talk about Faith later, after this is all over with. I just...I don't think she deserves another chance," Buffy whispered, closing her eyes and reveling in the feel of his cool skin against hers.
"I know you don't," Angel replied, pulling back so that he could look her in the eye. "But I hope you can understand why I think she does."
"I guess I kind of do...and *I* hope that *you* can understand why I think she doesn't," Buffy said. They were interrupted before he could comment.
"Ahem," a voice said from behind them, startling the couple. They jumped up and broke apart guiltily, Angel automatically reaching out to steady Buffy in case she felt dizzy again. They turned to see Cordelia standing on the landing, shaking her head. Her hands were hidden behind her back. "You guys really have gotten yourself into a mess... They've arrived. Oh, and Angel? I know there's no easy way of asking this, but are you evil again?"
Buffy and Angel shared amused smiles. "What would make you think that?" Angel asked.
"Does 'Oh, Angel, yes', ring any bells? I really don't think that was caused from a soothing game of Checkers," Cordelia said.
"No, he's not evil," Buffy said. "And I believe it was 'Oh God, Angel', but I could be wrong. I wasn't exactly paying attention to what I was screaming."
The look on Cordelia's face made them burst out laughing. Her jaw dropped and her eyes bulged, the stake that was hidden behind her back falling out of her grasp and rolling down the stairs to land at Angel's feet. He bent down to retrieve it, letting it dangle between his fingertips.
"Nice to know you have faith in us, Cordelia," Angel said wryly, slipping an arm around Buffy's shoulders and givng her a light squeeze. "You can send them all down."
"Are you sure you're ready to face *all* of them? They sure do take the whole 'strength in numbers' concept to heart..." she said, her cheeks still rosy. "And me, have faith in you two? Please. I know you way better than that."
With that, she turned and marched back up the stairs.
"I love you," Buffy said suddenly, turned to Angel and raising her hand to gently cup his cheek. He nuzzled her palm before placing a soft kiss on it.
"I love you too," he replied softly, leaning down to capture her lips in a searingly sweet kiss.
"We're gonna get through this, right?"
"We will," he whispered reassuringly, catching her lips in another kiss that conveyed all his love to her. They broke apart slowly, neither wanting to let go. But they knew they had to, at least for the time being. Buffy was afraid that letting go of him would make him disappear completely, and the mere thought of being without him again was unbearable.
They separated further when footsteps were heard on the stairs, Buffy smoothing back a piece of stray hair and making sure that the clothes that Angel had given her were buttoned and zipped properly. No need to give them any clues... She watched with a growing smile as her friends filed down into Angel's apartment. Giles, Willow, Xander, Tara, Riley, Spike...well, her friends and a few enemies. Anya walked behind Faith, a sour look on her pretty face.
They stopped at the bottom of the stairs, glancing from Buffy to Angel and then back again. A thick, uneasy silence filled the air as Buffy shifted from foot to foot, not daring to look at Angel for fear of them finding anything out.
Finally, she smiled uneasily and said, "So, do you like me better a brunette?"
TBC...
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