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By: Jen
Balover214@yahoo.com
My Site: https://www.angelfire.com/tv2/bau
Disclaimer: Joss owns everything!!!! The title and the idea for this fic came from the song “Same Old Lang Syne” by Dan Fogelburg.
Timeline: AU, sort of. Very much in the future. Buffy’s about 35.
Spoilers: Just general past of the B/A ship and the shows.
Synopsis: Human Angel runs into Buffy at the grocery store after not seeing her for 15 years. Unfortunately, things are REALLY different now.
Distribution: You want my story??? You can take it; just let me know where it’s going!!
Author’s Note: I’ve been wanting to write this since I’ve heard this song a few weeks ago. It reminded me of what could have been, or might be, between our fav couple, assuming that they don’t live together happily ever after, of course!
Author’s Note: PLEASE, don’t flame me for the couplings and stuff. They may be married and whatever, but if you notice, they aren’t necessarily happy.
Feedback: PLEASE!!! Good or bad, I want to know what you think!!
Rating: PG-13
* * *
It was a cold, snowy winter’s night, two days before Christmas, when Angel walked into the grocery store. They were still a few items short on the dinner menu, and the family volunteered him to go. As he maneuvered the shopping cart around the end of an aisle, he felt his eyes bulge out of his head, and unknowingly, ran over some little kid’s foot.
Muttering his apologies to the child and her parents, Angel slowly walked over to the vegetable section of the store, leaving his cart right in the middle of the walkway. There she stood, eyeing the remains of the yellow turnips. He couldn’t believe it. Angel hadn’t seen Buffy Summers in almost 15 years!!! She still looked as great. Fingering the ring on his hand, he noticed that she wore a wedding band too. Although he knew better, the fact still surprised him. Buffy wasn’t his girl anymore. She hadn’t been for a long time, but the twinge of pain in his chest was still there.
Summoning up his courage, Angel walked over behind her, and tapped her on the arm. With her hands full of turnips, she whipped around (as was appropriate for Slayers, ex or otherwise to do), sending vegetables everywhere. She looked at the tall, dark man before her, and felt all the old feelings and memories come rushing back.
“Oh, my God!!” She clasped her hand over her mouth after the words slipped out. “Angel?”
“Hey, Buffy.” He replied, his trademark half-smile gracing his face.
Suddenly realizing where they were, she dropped to the floor, trying to clean up the mess she made. Angel joined her, in an attempt to help her out. While reaching for one of the turnips, their hands brushed. Both felt the electricity flow up their arms, as they moved apart.
When they both finally got up and took care of the dropped vegetables, Buffy and Angel just stood there, feeling very uncomfortable. Until Angel decided to break the ice.
“You wanna go get a drink?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that.” She answered, a small, somewhat tentative, smile on her face. Angel motioned to his cart, and they both checked their groceries out and went out to their cars. They were parked not far from each other, so when they agreed on a bar to go to, Buffy offered to drive them there.
* * *
The atmosphere was cozy in the small bar, but still public enough that neither person felt too weirded out by the situation.
After placing their orders, both of them sat unusually still, waiting for the other to say something.
“So…”
“So…”
They started at the same time, and then started to laugh, as they relaxed a little more.
“You go ahead.” Angel offered.
She nodded at him, and then took a deep breath. She still wasn’t sure what she was doing, and was a little nervous about hearing the answers to her questions. Like him, she noticed his wedding ring, the thought drawing blood. “Well, you look great.” He was still as sexy as ever, where she was concerned. The few gray hairs near his ears just made him look more distinguished.
“Thanks. You do too, Buffy. Really great.” He couldn’t believe how great she looked. It was almost as if time stood still for her, when everyone else grew old. But maybe that’s because she would never age for him.
“So, how have you been?”
“Not bad. I still run the investigations firm. Business has been pretty slow for a while now, the End of Days Battle being over and all. But I think there will always be something out there to fight. How about you?”
“Not bad either. I’m a retired Slayer now, but I’ve been helping the new girl, Sara, with training. Other than that, I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
“Oh.” The thought hurt him more than he ever thought possible. It was irrational, and he knew it, but the anguish was still with him. His mind just continued to go over the ‘what if’s.’
“But I’m glad to hear that you’re doing well.” She said, trying to break the heavy silence.
Saved in time, the waiter brought their drinks from the bar; his was a straight whiskey and hers, a martini. Each one eagerly started to drink, happy for the moment not to have to answer the impending questions.
After a few minutes, though, the conversation inevitably started again. “So, you have kids?”
“Yeah,” she started, fishing out her wallet to show him the pictures. “Maggie is 10, and Patrick is going to be 7 next month.” Angel took the pictures and nearly cried. Her daughter looked just like her: silky blond hair, bright green eyes, beautiful smile. The boy, he assumed, looked just like his father. He had dark brown hair, dark brown eyes, and a dimple in his cheek when he grinned. A fierce jealousy ripped through his body, and Angel wanted to yell at the injustice of it all. Those should have been their children. It should be their happiness, not this awkwardness that seems to have taken over.
“So, do you have any?” Her question broke him out of his angered reverie, but he stared at her questioningly.
“Huh?” He handed the pictures back, purposefully brushing her hand. She gave him a startled look, but pressed on with her question.
“Children? I noticed your wedding ring.” She said, pointing at it.
“Oh, um, yeah. We have a daughter and two sons.” He also took out his wallet, to show her the pictures of his kids. “Katherine is 7 and the twins, Sean and Michael just turned 5.” Jealousy hit Buffy hard too, when she saw the pictures. They all looked just like Angel. A hole in her heart and womb that she never knew existed suddenly burned as she noticed their dark hair and eyes. They all inherited his million-dollar smile and good looks. Trying to smile casually, she handed his wallet back, avoiding his hand this time.
As their second drink came, Buffy took a long gulp of the strong martini, before she asked the dreaded question that somehow needed an answer.
“So, who’s the lucky girl? Do I know her?” Her voice sounded a lot lighter than she felt as the words poured out of her mouth.
“Um, yeah, you know her. It’s Cordelia.” Buffy nearly choked on the burning liquid when she heard the name.
“CORDELIA?? As in Cordelia CHASE??”
“Yeah. That’s her.” He said, looking down at his whiskey, suddenly wanting to drown himself in it. The pain in his ex-girlfriend’s eyes nearly killed him.
“Well, um, so how did it happen? I mean, I know she worked for you, but you two didn’t seem too buddy-buddy the last time I saw you.”
“Buffy, that was a long time ago. Things have changed now. She’s…different. Not as snobby as she used to be. And she’s been a great mother for the kids. We’ve been together now for almost 11 years.”
“That’s great. I’m really happy for you two.” She took another gulp from her martini, this time savoring the burning liquid as it tore down her throat.
“So, who’s the guy?”
“His name is Sam. We met my senior year of college. We married 15 years ago. He’s a nice, stable guy, Angel. He’s treated us well. And he makes enough money with his practice, so that I can stay home and raise the kids.”
“Do you love him?”
The question shocked her. How dare he ask such a thing??? It was hardly appropriate. He must have noticed her surprise because he gave her a serious look and pushed it again.
“Well, do you?”
“I hardly think that is an appropriate question.” She said, as she raised her glass. He had her answer. She obviously didn’t, if she couldn’t admit it.
“I’m sorry, Buffy.” He took her hand, not realizing the significance of the gesture until it was done.
“Please, I…”She shook her head, and tried again. “I’m not. Sam is a great guy. We’ve been happy. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”
“Yeah there is. You deserve so much more than stable. You deserve love and passion, the moon and the stars, everything.”
She held his hand tighter. “Thanks, Angel.”
He simply smiled, refusing to let the tears that he felt for her fall.
“So, how about you and Cordy? Is there love?”
“Well, um, I think so. Yeah, there’s love. But not like we had. Never like that. But I knew that going in. What we had…there was never anything else like it.” Seeing her look, he continued. “Look, it’s okay. We’re happy too. And my kids, I couldn’t ask for anything more than them. I never thought I would get a chance like this, and even though it’s not perfect, I’m okay with that.”
“I’m really glad to hear it, Angel. I just wish…”
“Yeah, I know. But we’ll always have the past, right?”
She smiled. “Yeah, we will. And that’ll have to be enough.”
“A toast, then,” Angel raised his glass over the table.
“A toast,” she mimicked.
“To time, to the past.”
“To innocence,” Buffy added. They clinked their glasses, and enjoyed the rest of the night talking of the good old days.
* * *
It was after 1 in the morning, when they decided to call it a night. Their throats were sore, and they were feeling a little buzzed, when Buffy drove Angel back to the grocery store to get his car. When she put the gear in park, he turned to her. Looking deeply in her eyes, Angel leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips. Not a deep, passionate kiss, but a tender, understanding, goodbye kiss.
“Be happy, Buffy.” He said, placing a hand on her cheek. She turned her head and gently kissed his palm.
“You too, Angel.” She took a deep breath before saying what she’d wanted to say for years. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Without saying goodbye, Angel got out of the car and walked over to his own.
“Happy holidays!!” Buffy called out, as she sped away, so he wouldn’t have to see her tears or her pain. The tears finally fell for him too, as he sat down in his classic convertible. The pain of losing her had returned, so much worse now, knowing that she had someone else to love her and take care of her. Yes, he was married too, and had children, but somehow, their love burned on. He still hoped that they would be together someday, but at the same time, prayed that she would never be that unhappy. That she would have the kind of marriage her parents never did. As he pulled away from the parking lot and headed home, Angel realized that time was good to them. They may be apart now, but life was never as it seemed. Besides, it’s not as if the Powers didn’t enjoy keeping everyone on their toes. For now, he was where he needed to be, and so was she. But no one ever really knows what life has in store for them.
The End!
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