Something to Believe in

PART 15

As the taxi swung into the driveway, Liz couldn’t help but feel hit by a wave of nostalgia that caught her unexpectedly each time she made this trip.  The large house that stood proud at the end of the driveway was one she knew very well and had previously spent many hours inside.  The house, although grand, was very welcoming to all who entered it.  

The white marble steps outside were a fancy feature, but everything else was simple.  Soft red brick, white gloss painted windows and a large white double door, signalled it was a family home, rather than a status symbol of a director of a multi million dollar empire.

Or at least it had been a family home years previously.  Even during their time at University, Kyle and Liz had been regular visitors to the vast Valenti Estate.  They both had a dorm each at the University, but at weekends they were permanent fixtures at their parents houses.  Back then it had been the perfect haven for young lovers, vast open space, freedom to roam and little prying eyes since Jim was often occupied with business.  It had been those times Jim had enjoyed the most.  Kyle no longer a child requiring constant attention, but instead a young man able to hold down adult conversation, a man growing into the heir of the empire Jim had struggled so hard to build.

Memories flooded back a little too quickly for Liz, as she stared out the window taking in her surroundings.  Images of Kyle and the happy times they shared filled her mind, causing tears to mist her eyes.  A wave of sadness hit her as she remembered Kyle wouldn’t be there to greet her.  She, of course, knew that, but for a brief moment she still clung tightly to the dream he was still alive. 

The house and memories were also a forceful, unwelcoming reminder of her own family situation or lack there of.

By her own admission, it was Liz’s fault she didn’t see her parents and younger sister Calistia.  They had been so close, especially Liz and her father, but after the trauma with Kyle, Liz had closed up.  She’d cut ties with her family; rarely saw them except for very special occasions and hardly talked to them.  Really her only communication was by e-mail.  It was a cold, clinical way to communicate with loved ones, but to Liz it suited her purpose. 

Rightly, loosing Kyle had hit her hard, and when she recovered she had sought to remove any possibility of that kind of pain returning.  For Liz the only way was to distance herself from anyone who loved her, including her parents and sister.  Not seeing them or barely talking to them meant, in Liz’s mind, that they weren’t close to her any more, as if they no longer loved her.  It was a rather twisted way of thinking, but there was little conventional about the new Liz Parker.  And despite all attempts by her parents to pull her back once in a while, the punishing work schedule she put herself through day in day out was an instant excuse to avoid going back to her childhood home.

It was why she had never loved, or even got close to anyone since Kyle’s death.  That was until the fateful day she had walked into James Valenti’s office and found Max Evans grinning back at her.  He’d literally knocked her off her feet and turned her world upside down.  All the calming influences and solid walls she had inflicted on her heart and body had caught the first gust out the window into oblivion.  Her very foundations had been literally spun out of control with his suave sophistication and warming effect on her normally cold heart.

For a very short time, she’d even allowed herself to perhaps believe she could learn to love again.  That night, after the fiasco in the lift, she’d recounted his kiss many times in her mind, his soft lips on hers, the delicate touch of his fingers entwined in her hair.  And then the magical dinner and smouldering kiss they’d shared it the restaurant.  It had been an amazing dream, but that was all it had been to Liz, looking back on it.  A few days of heaven and then slammed forcefully back to reality 

That kind of perfect dreaming was short-lived, and the attack only served to lend proof to her theory.  She’d almost allowed herself to fall in love with Max, and then he could so easily have been ripped away from her.  It had served to shake her body back to reality, reminding her why she had constructed the stonewalls around her heart.

And that was the reason why she had agreed to Jim’s request that she attend a dinner party at his house.  Her first instinct had been to polity decline, the idea of attending one of Jim’s parties not exactly filling her with joy.  Entertaining really wasn’t something she wanted to subject herself to in her present downward mood.  But, upon thought, Liz had stumbled upon an idea that she believed was more than ingenious.

Jim had knocked her back once, throwing out her idea of removing Evans Consulting from the take-over, but she was never one to be defeatist so quickly.  In the calming influence of his grand house, and the relaxed effect of some of his fine Chardonnay, Liz was sure she’d be able to sway the steely James Valenti and bring him round to her way of thinking.

She was, after all, a shrewd business woman who was prepared to use any and all means necessary to get what she wanted.  And if that meant using somewhat underhand tactics then so be it.  In business it was survival of the fittest, and Liz was determined to be the ‘last man standing’ ad the end of the night.  With Max Evans now out of the way, a return of the fiery Liz Parker was needed.  It was a role she was most comfortable playing and was more than eager to take on and slip into.  It was, after all her most well rehearsed and most believable facade. 

Pulling up outside the entrance to the house, Liz paid the taxi driver before quickly exiting into the cool evening air.  Smoothing down her dress, Liz paused for a moment, hoping her attire wasn’t too formal.  Jim’s dinner parties were normally swish affairs, and so she’d dressed accordingly, but for a moment she panicked that maybe this time it was going to be less formal. 

A long, straight, midnight blue velvet thin strapped dress covered her tiny frame, stopping just above her ankles and hugging all her curves in the right places.  The front dipped just enough to incite interest, but not enough to show anything off, and a high slit at the back to make walking easier and showed just a little leg.  It was a sexy dress, but one that also oozed class and sophistication, normally just right for Jim’s parties. 

Her hair was scooped up, piled in a relaxed, perhaps somewhat unruly way.  Strands lazily fell across her face and down her back, giving a softness to what could have been a sever hairstyle.  The slightest hint of blush, eye shadow and a slick of shimmery brown lip-gloss completed her outfit with the easiest simplicity.

In truth, unbeknown to Liz, she looked an absolute dream as she lifted the edge of her dress and slowly climbed up the steps to the looming white front door.  The raven haired, sparkly-eyed stunner about to enter the party would blow any man with rational thoughts away.  Ringing the doorbell, Liz paused as she waited to be given permission to enter.  Taking a deep breath, she tried vainly to regain her composure and professional front before crossing the threshold of the house she knew like her own.

“Liz, I’m so pleased you came.”  Jim greeted her, ushering the young lady out of the hallway and into the Drawing Room where other guests were congregating. 

A drawing room wasn’t quite the right word to call the vast open space of the room.  It held three large, inviting settees, a beautiful sculpted glass coffee table, books, pictures, and a large assortment of ornate knickknacks.  From the outside the house looked looming and perhaps somewhat uninviting, but from the inside it was a completely different matter.

There was warmth; a kindness and loving that enveloped you the moment you stepped inside.  Each room was inviting and tastefully decorated, but little showing the vast wealth James Valenti owned.  He’d made the house as comfortable as possible the moment his ex-wife Michelle had left.  Jim had wanted Kyle to grow up in a normal environment, wanting his son not to be spoilt, but to appreciate the value of money.  And it had worked perfectly; Kyle had been a wonderfully caring man.

Seeing a large picture of her boyfriend decorating the wall above the 32-inch surround sound TV, Liz felt a lump form in her throat.  He looked so handsome, the picture taken a little after his 19^th birthday.  He still had youthful looks, but also a maturity about him that Liz hadn’t really noticed at the time. 

“I’m sorry Liz, I should have taken that down, it was insensitive of me not to.”  Jim said, standing next to Liz and seeing the obvious pain on his colleague’s face.

“No James, don’t hide it just because of me.  I miss him as much as you do.”  Liz replied, forcing a smile across her face to calm Jim’s immediate fears.

“I know you miss him Liz, but I think you miss him more than I do now.  I’ve let him go, I’ve accepted he’s never coming back ……….. I’m not sure you have.”  James said, the last part more of a whisper as he drifted away.

As James disappeared into the small swell of people, his words slowly sank into Liz’s brain.  She wasn’t sure what to make of it, whether to feel hurt, indignant or maybe to just listen to the wiser, older man.  Having people poking their nose into her affairs was something that often got her back up, but Jim had a way with Liz.  He always knew how to phrase things, subtly make Liz start to wonder, perhaps question who or what she was.  This was one point, though, that James wasn’t going to win from her.  No matter what, Liz was determined that Kyle would be her one and only boyfriend, no matter how much her heart yearned to be loved and wanted again.

Taking a glass of chilled wine from the waiter, Liz mingled with some of the other guests, noting a couple of familiar faces, a few business associates she’d met many times before at similar rendezvous’.  There were about eleven people in the room, including the host, and Liz wondered if that was all who were attending. 

“So Liz, what takeovers are you and Jim scheming at the moment?”  Chad Simpson, a business venture associate of the Amber Inn Group asked.
”What makes you think we’ve got any takeovers in the pipeline?”  Liz queried cagily.

“Because you too are always cooking up something.”  He replied grinning.

“Then you’ll know I’m not at liberty to discuss any of them then, since I wouldn’t want you to steal any of my ideas.”  Liz replied, smiling sweetly.

“Ahhh the infamous Liz Parker charm, that hides a heart of steal underneath.”  He chuckled.

“Don’t you forget it!”  She reminded him.

“So …… when do I get to use my charm on you?” 

“Oh don’t worry Chad, I’m saving myself for you!”  Liz joked, secretly needing any excuse to get away from the slimy banker.

A ringing of the doorbell gave Liz the perfect excuse to remove herself from the group she had occupied, and, deciding to make herself useful, Liz headed to greet the new guest.

“Alex!”  Liz cried, seeing a familiar face stare back at her.

“Hey Liz, you look stunning as always.”  He greeted her, kissing his friend’s cheek. 

“And here was me thinking I was going to be stuck talking business all night!  Nice to have a friend for support.”  Liz said softly, as Alex slipped his hand in hers. 

Having Alex with her instantly cheered Liz up.  Her colleague and friend always knew how to liven up a dulling party, never wanting to see a sad face.  His recounted stories and countless jokes always caused Liz to end up giggling, his infectious happiness spreading over those around him. 

It was nice to laugh too, Liz thought, and Alex being just a friend was comforting since she knew he would never be anything more.  He was her best friend, like her brother, not lover, and Liz could only see him as a good friend.

Just then, James returned to the drawing room and started ushering his guests into the large dining room.  Turning in the direction of the others, Liz took two paces before the doorbell ringing again halted her movement.  Twisting round, Liz started towards it, wanting to help Jim out once more.

“Leave it Liz, I’ll get it.  Go and sit down.”  Jim told her, beating her to the door.

“Ok, if you’re sure.”  Liz replied, turning back to Alex, taking his arm and heading into the dining room with the other guests.

Sitting down in the chair pulled out by Alex, Liz noted three empty seats.  One was next to hers, at the head of the table, whose she assumed was Jim’s.  The other two chairs were opposite Liz and Alex, and she couldn’t help but wonder who was missing. 

Probably some new business associate Jim wanted her to meet, or perhaps another eligible bachelor Jim was going to try and set her up with.  Nothing would surprise Liz with Jim, his attempts at matchmaking had been plentiful, but most, in fact all, fell woefully short of what Liz was looking for, since she wasn’t actually looking for anyone to complicate her life even further.

Instead, Liz was after a mystery man, someone who wasn’t just about money.  She wanted the magically soulful eyes that drew you in, the cheeky but handsome smile, the soft brown mop of hair that made him look young but mature all at the same time. 

She was describing just one person though …………….. Max!

Her mind screamed out, as Liz quickly placed a hand over her open mouth to stifle the scream she had emitted.

The two remaining guests they had been waiting for had arrived, and were quickly taking their seats opposite Liz and Alex.

A stunningly beautiful blond haired woman took the seat opposite Alex.  Had Liz of been watching her friend, she would have found Alex’s gaping facial feature hilarious.  His bulging eyes and open mouth making it clear to any onlooker that Alex was blown away by the woman he was now sitting opposite.

Liz though, had her own much big problems to content with.  For pulling back the seat and placing himself directly opposite Liz, right in her eye line without room for movement, was, of course, Max Evans.

“Good evening Liz.”  He said professionally and somewhat sharply, nodding his head in her direction in a curt way, but not wavering in the eye contact he held intently with her.

“Max.”  She replied, suddenly struggling to remember how to breathe.  Her heart was pounding; her head hurt like hell, her mind was doing overtime desperate for a way out of where she was at that moment.

“Oh god!”, a voice screamed out in her mind, “now what the hell do I do?”.  No matter what ideas ran through her mind at top speed, one was plainly obvious. 

There was no way she could avoid Max Evans now!

PART 16

From his vantage point opposite her, Max did his utmost to control and contain the smile that threatened to spread across and light up his face.  When he had taken the call from James Valenti, and accepted the dinner invitation, Max had secretly hoped she would attend too.  Jim had implied that Liz was also coming, and passing up an opportunity to actually pin her down for once was not something Max was going to do. 

All her lack of contact, and blatant refusal to return his calls had really got him riled up, and he was close to boiling point.  It wasn’t that he felt he had a right to Liz, more that he felt he had the right to an explanation, to know why she had run out on him without a word or apology.

Her face, at that moment, was a perfect picture of surprisement and shock, but one he had seen before.  The day of the accident, when she had seen him sitting in Jim’s office, she had worn the same dazed expression.  The look of complete and utter shock, mixed with just a hit of dismay, and a touch of embarrassment. 

Clearly the circumstances of their first meeting since she had run out on him were rather more public than Max had been hoping, but he certainly wasn’t going to be picky.  Just being in the same room as her, at last, was enough for him.  If she wasn’t prepared to return his calls or see him during business hours, then drastic measures were needed.  Max knew, for sure, he would get Liz alone at some point in the evening, and then the quizzing and grilling would begin. 

It had been his main reason for asking Isabelle to join him.  Max was also sure Alex would be brought in to attend the informal business function, and Max wanted someone to distract the person Max hoped was no more than a good friend to Liz Parker.  His sister’s talents at entertaining young men were well known to Max, her ability to spellbind them was one Max wanted Isabelle to spin that night on Alex.

Isabelle had been only too pleased to attend the dinner with Max.  She loved dressing up, attending functions with Max and such.  She always got to meet interesting people, even if most of them fell majorly short of her targets and expectations.  To her they were all far too interested in work and business, but meeting and allowing them to entertain her was still fun to Isabelle Evans.

She was speechless!  Twice in the matter of a barely a week, Max Evans had managed to silence the cool, calm Liz Parker!

Her heart rate was thumbing louder than a drum, her blood rushing around her body so fast she felt giddy.  Blinking quickly, Liz hoped and prayed the vision in front of her was merely a mirage; a cruel trick played by her overactive and underused imagination. 

But it wasn’t, Max was still sitting opposite her, larger than life and keeping his eyes firmly on her face as if he was afraid she might disappear from view.  It was like her worst nightmare, the thought that Max might have been invited to the soiree hadn’t even crossed her mind, let alone become a realistic thought. 

Glancing quickly to her left, Liz caught a glimpse of the mischievous twinkle in James Valenti’s eye, and instantly knew she’d been set up.  It was clear to Liz that her boss had arranged the cosy dinner party to get her and Max in the same room. 

She’d always known Jim could be devious; it was the only way to succeed in their line of business, but to deceive her, that wasn’t normally his style.  He had always previously been so upfront and honest with Liz, not wanting to use his business tactics on his staff for fear they wouldn’t trust him. 

But he’d certainly played her that night; he’d certainly set her up so Max could finally pin her down and get to the bottom of why she’d run out on him.  The only part Liz didn’t understand though was why Jim really cared if she and Max were on speaking terms or not.  The business deal wasn’t in jeopardy; things were moving along perfectly well, why did James want her to talk to Max again?

Instantly though, as she mulled about what Jim had done, she felt furious, angry that he had so blatantly set her up.  Not just that, Liz was also enraged at herself, angry that she hadn’t seen what was right in front of her eyes, annoyed that she hadn’t seen through James’ now completely transparent and clearly obvious plan.

“Wine Liz?”  Jim asked, offering Liz some of his chilled chardonnay.

“Thank you Jim.”  Liz replied curtly, looking straight at the older man with a cold stare and a calculated grin, making sure he was plainly aware his plan had been thwarted. 

“So Liz ……. I hear Jim’s been getting you to work on a new project over the last few days.”  Max said calmly, once the starter of tomato and basil soup had been served.

“Erm, yes that’s right.”  Liz responded, hoping Max wouldn’t probe too much.

“New project?”  Jim interjected quickly, looking puzzled at Liz.

The instant look from Liz told him it was a lie to keep Max off her back, but there was no way Jim was going to settle for that.  He wasn’t going to go along with her little deception to keep Max Evans off the scent. 

Looking on, Max wondered what Liz’s next move would be.  He was sure the new project had been nothing more than a cover, a front to hide the fact she didn’t want to see him.  James Valenti’s query on the project just added weight to his belief, and it surprised and intrigued Max that Jim hadn’t gone along with his colleague, but instead queried the very project he was supposed to have given her.

“Yes Jim, you know ‘THE’ project.”  Liz stressed, looking directly at Jim with sharp eyes and silently telling him to drop the subject.

“Oh ……. Oh that project ……… I forgot.”  Jim replied, smiling a fake smile in Max’s direction.  Despite his words, Jim was sure Max didn’t believe a word of the alleged project Liz was supposed to be working on.  Max was a smart businessman, one who could read people with ease, and it was also a talent Jim possessed.  One look at Max told him his business associate didn’t believe one word of Liz’s alleged ‘project’.

”Anything exciting?”  Max probed further, taking a mouthful of the hot soup and continuing to grill Liz, waiting for a slip up.

“Oh no, nothing that would interest you Max, it’s hardly at the cutthroat end of the business.  Just something I wanted to oversee myself.”  Liz replied sweetly, taking a sip of the wine.

“Right.”  Max replied, clearly sounding unconvinced.

“I’m Alex Whitman by the way.”  Alex introduced himself to the vision of beauty sitting opposite him.

“Hi Alex it’s nice to meet you.  I’m Isabelle Evans.”  Isabelle replied sweetly shining her brilliant amber eyes his way.

“So you’re Max’s …………?”  He asked, hoping for her to fill in the end of his sentence.

“Sister.”  Isabelle finished for him.

A wave of relief rushed over Alex, it suddenly felt nice to know the young girl wasn’t dating Max Evans, as Alex had feared when she had first sat down.  She was clearly a stunner, and Alex had debated whether Max Evans had just gotten over Liz quickly, perhaps just bringing Isabelle to make Liz jealous. 

Isabelle’s deep purple satin dress covered her delicate body with ease, hugging and fitting every nip and curve in just the right place.  Her honey blond hair was pulled back into a neat twist, with wispy strands scattered around her face to soften the affect.  Delicately placed make-up accentuated her look in just the right places, making her eyes sparkle under the glow of the glass chandelier of the vast dining room.

But although she was extremely beautiful, something told Alex to keep his distance.  He was clearly smitten at first sight, but over the years and through the hurt, Alex Whitman had also become something of a cynic. 

He wasn’t certain love existed for him, or whether he was even capable of love.  And although he knew no more than her name, Alex was sure Isabelle Evans was something special, and so much more than he could ever deserve or hope to take hold of.

Light chitchat decorated the main course, various discussions, business and personal, all paraphernalia pertaining to the guests.  It was a relaxed atmosphere, except for the two end people.  For them the meal was not relaxing or particularly enjoyable.  Instead all it served was to get in the way of the inevitable.

Every time she glanced up, her eyes locked with Max’s.  His smouldering brown pools seemed to be constantly focused on her, it was as if he was trying to reach right inside her body just through his eyes and pull out the secrets she held deep within.  The mere thought unnerved Liz, sent shivers running down her spine and goose bumps appearing along her bare flesh. 

The white lace tablecloth suddenly became very interesting to Liz, as her eyes found it a much more safer view than the one directly opposite her.  Yet, even without looking up, Liz could sense Max was still watching her, his eyes boring holes in her body, still unable to waiver his gaze. 

Sitting opposite Alex Whitman, was so easy, yet so hard all at the same time for Isabelle.  He was sweet and charming in a dorky kind of way.  He wasn’t normally the type she was attracted to, but there was a sparkle about Alex that drew her in.  His constantly happy grin, like a confident mask to hide his nerves, his ability to tell jokes through the meal and make her laugh.  He held her concentration with immense ease, and by the time the desert was served, Isabelle was totally drowning in the infectious happiness that was Alex Whitman.

From his vantage point at the end of the table, Jim smiled inwardly as he tucked into the strawberry and chocolate pie.  His plan of bringing the stubborn Liz Parker and the charming Max Evans into the same room hadn’t backfired as yet. 

The night was still young, he conceded, but James was feeling quietly confident.  The sly glances, the shy retractions all pointed to the evident spark that flew between them.  He was sure Liz wouldn’t give in easily, it wasn’t her style to admit defeat at the first hurdle, but getting them to stay in the same room was one step closer on the road of love.

The night was a success for someone other than Liz, Jim also noted.  He could see the look Isabelle Evans was throwing Alex’s way.  The tilting of the head as if she was listening intently to what he said, the shy smile and laughing eyes, giving the impression of an innocent young girl. 

Jim guessed it was more of an act though, he was sure Isabelle wasn’t as innocent as she was making out to Alex.  She looked more of a huntress sauntering and stalking her prey, in a nice way of course.  It was clear she liked Alex, although Jim wasn’t totally sure on Alex’s reaction or whether his somewhat naïve colleague even noticed it.

Once desert had been cleared away, the guests retired to the drawing room for cognac and coffee.  Leading up the rear was Liz, eager to step through into the large room and be swallowed up by various business associates vying for her attention.  The last thing she wanted was to be left alone with Max Evans.

Her plan was thwarted though, as just before she stepped through the wooden door to the drawing room, she felt a strong hand firmly grasp her arm and halt her progression. 

“Max?”  She queried, slightly alarmed by the force he was putting into the grip on her arm.  If he squeezed any harder, she thought, he’d certainly bruise her skin with his thumb.  It was definitely a side to him she hadn’t seen before, or a side she believed even existed, he certainly wasn’t normally violent in any way.

“We need to talk.”  He stated calmly but very firmly, his eyes burning brightly with emotion.

“I don’t think this is either the time or the place ….………”  She started, but was quickly cut off by his sharp words.

“There will never *be* a right time Liz, now is as good a time as ever.”  He responded forcefully, not prepared to take no for an answer.

Getting this far, finally having Liz in his grasp, there was no way he was going to let her slip through his fingers again.  He was never a violent man, never one to use force, but Liz was certainly pushing him to the limit of his control. 

He was determined to not leave the Valenti estate until he had answers, and answers from Liz in particular.  He needed to know why she ran out on him, needed to know what had changed in her to make her pull away.  For his own sanity he had to find out the truth.

Realising the turning point had been reached, Liz finally accepted his proposition.  She had run from him for long enough, it was time to face the music and accept the barrage that was likely to fly her way.  She was sure Max would have many questions, perhaps a few accusations to come her way.  No matter how long she waited, Liz knew she’d never be more ready than she was at that moment.

“Ok ……….. where?”  She finally resided.  She’d avoided him for so long, but in her heart she’d known the time for answers would come eventually, and now it was upon her she was eager to get it out of the way and move on with her life.  She hoped once Max had the answers he was clearly looking for he’d be prepared to let her go, let her go back to the person she’d been before he’d walked into her life.

“Through here …….. the conservatory.”  Max replied, leading Liz through the room at the side of the dining room and out into the greenhouse like room on the side of the house. 

Pulling out a cane wood chair, Max indicated for Liz to sit, before making himself comfortable in the chair beside her.  It was the closest they had been since the night of the mugging, and to Liz the proximity of Max was way too close for her liking.  Having him close always made her skin prickly, her heartbeat quicken and her breath raspy.  It was something she hated, but was powerless to stop. 

“So, you wanted to talk to me Max …… What about?”  Liz finally asked innocently, breaking the silence with a question she already knew the answer to.

“I think you know that Liz.”  He said pointedly, watching her to gauge whether she was joking or genuinely serious at not knowing why he needed to talk to her.  “Why did you leave?”  He finally asked.

”Max …….. I couldn’t stay at your house forever.”  She countered, avoiding the real question somewhat.

“You know what I mean Liz, and I know you couldn’t stay there forever, I never once asked you to.  I am well aware of the reasons why you stayed that night, or more why I made you stay.  What I want to know is why you left like you did, why you didn’t even have the decency or manners to say goodbye.  Do I mean so little to you that you couldn’t even wait to talk to me before you left?”  Max responded, trying to keep anger out of his voice but struggling somewhat.

“You were sleeping.”  She said meekly, knowing in her heart how weak the words sounded and how they didn’t justify her actions one little bit.

“Bullshit Liz!”  He practically shouted making her jump.  “You know you could have and should have woken me!  How could you just walk out on me that way?”  He said angrily, his eyes blazing with feeling.

“Max ……”  She started, but there were no words to justify what she had done.

“No Liz, I want to tell you how I feel.  I did everything right, I waited for you to come to me; I protected you from the mugging and made sure nothing could hurt you.  I comforted you when you were upset; I held you tight and soothed you when you needed to feel safe.  I calmed you down; hell I even gave you my bed like a perfect gentleman Liz!  Tell me, where the hell did I go wrong?  What did I do that was so terrible you had to run out on me?”  Max said clearly upset. 

He’d wanted to stay calm and collected, sure she had a rational explanation for her actions.  But in the cold night of reality, rationale and reason flew out the window.  He was hurt, angry and wanted some answers. 

It wasn’t that he’d expected anything in return from Liz for helping her through a difficult night, more that he hadn’t expected to be metaphorically kicked in the gut for his compassionate actions.  He’d expected perhaps friendship and then to see what else materialised, but he certainly hadn’t expected her to disappear and cut all ties with him.  To Max, that was certainly not something he deserved after caring so genuinely for her.

“I just had to Max, ok.”  She told him, trying to justify her actions.  “Because I’d overstayed my welcome, I overstepped the mark and you went way beyond the boundaries of business associate.  We are friends Max, in the loosest sense of the word, but that’s it, no more.”  Liz said, practically shaking as she spoke the words.  “I’m sorry if I led you on to believe there could be more between us …….. there won’t be.  What happened in the lift was an error of judgement, what happened in the restaurant was a huge mistake, and what happened that evening back at your apartment was a big lapse on my side.  I am grateful that you were there to comfort me Max, and I am very sorry I imposed on you.”  She told him.

“Liz ………”

“No Max, it’s my turn to speak now.  The way I left was wrong, I shouldn’t have run out like I did and I’m sorry I hurt you, but I’m not sorry I did leave.  It was the right thing for me to do, for both our sakes.”  Liz replied, trying to sound confident and not let her true feelings betray her.  The voices in her head were saying one thing, and ignoring the words was certainly difficult for Liz. 

“What do you mean Liz?”  Max queried, slipping his hand on top of hers that was resting on the table.  It was the first time he’d touched her since she’d been upset over the attack, and it surprised him somewhat that she didn’t pull away from him. 

For a moment he thought it was a good sign, that he didn’t repulse her enough to pull her hand away from his fingers.  Then as her words sunk in, fear suddenly engulfed his body, like a hand squeezing around his heart and squashing the life out of it.  Coldness rushed over his body, goose bumps decorated his arms covered by his shirt, and his breathing shallowed somewhat. 

At that moment, he was sure Liz was about to say something he really didn’t want to hear, and even though he could sense it was inevitable, he prayed he was reading the signs wrong.

“You know what I mean Max.”  She said calmly.  “What has happened between us happened, I can’t change that.  I can’t alter the past but I can change the future.  We are working together on the Andersen Project …… but that’s it Max.  I was wrong to avoid you, it was extremely unprofessional of me and I can assure you it won’t happen again.  I intend to fulfil my requirements on the project and will conduct myself in a professional business manner.  But that’s it Max, what we have is just work, no friendship, no relations and certainly no love.”  She responded in a monotone.

Her heart was racing at top speed as she took a deep breath.  She knew, once she said her next line, there would be no going back, retracting the words wouldn’t be possible.  But for her own sanity, for her own survival, she had to say the words.  She had to make sure Max understood whatever spark that flew between them would go uninvestigated, they would never become more than colleagues.  She couldn’t risk her heart again, couldn’t trust in love or destiny, she had to control her own fate, and that meant not falling in love with Max Evans or anyone else.

“I’m sorry if I led you on Max, but I don’t care for you, I have no feelings at all for you.”  She added, biting back the tears that threatened to prick her eyes and give away her true feelings.

His crestfallen face stared back at Liz in somewhat surprisement.  He had suspected she was going to say something like that, but somehow hearing the words out loud hurt even more.  His heart felt like it had been crushed into a thousand tiny pieces, all the air in his lungs exhaled with none to replace it. 

She’d hurt him again, like she had when she’d left the note, but this time it felt different.  This time the pain was a hundred times worse, the feeling so final, like she had just stamped out the very last flicker of a dying flame with her strong words.

“Liz ……”  He started softly, hoping to change her mind.  Stroking her hand rhythmically with the pads of his fingers, he desperately clung to part of her.  He didn’t want to let go of her hand; afraid she’d slip away from him for good.

“I’m sorry Max.”  She replied, wrenching her hand painfully from his, before climbing to her feet and quickly disappearing back into the house.

TBC .......................?

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