Something to Believe in

PART 37   

Watching her walk back from the rest room, Max did his best to hide the worry lines creasing his brow.  She looked pale, and she’d definitely lost weight in the months since their wedding.  The white shirt she wore over dark blue jeans hung on her frame where before it would have hugged her curves and showed her beauty.

“You ok?”  He queried as she took up a seat beside him in the hospital waiting room. 

“Yeah.”  She responded, feigning a weak smile.

“You sure Liz, you dashed off to the rest room pretty quickly.”  Max said, lifting a finger to trace the dark circles under her tired eyes.

“Really I’m ok Max.  I think that prawn salad I ate at lunch time really didn’t agree with me.”  She confided, rubbing her stomach with her hand in an attempt to settle it.  Normally she avoided seafood like the plague, it always seemed to upset her stomach, but the salad had looked so enticing. 

“We can get someone to look at you if you want to, we are in a hospital after all?  I want to make sure you’re ok Liz.”  He suggested, the worry in his eyes returning as he placed a gentle hand on her leg.

“I’m fine Max, I feel much better now.  Please don’t worry about me.”  She encouraged, wrapping her arms around his neck to alleviate his fears.

“You look tired babe, you’re working too hard.”  Max finally said planting a kiss on her forehead.

“Let’s not discuss this here please.”  She challenged, not in the mood to fend off more of Max’s concern.  He was sweet and kind, but this subject had been rehashed between them more times that she cared to remember over the last few months.

Max was convinced she was working too hard, always tired and drained of energy.  Which she was, and she certainly was putting in many hours at the office she couldn’t deny that.  The lack of Maria was hard, finding a replacement for six months maternity leave had proved difficult, hence leaving Liz on her own for much of the time.  Jim also seemed to want her involved in any and every project undergoing at Amber Inn at that moment, but heavens knew why.  Many of them she could barely give any input, but still her boss and company director wanted her right beside him.  If she didn’t know better she’d start believing Jim was feeling insecure, perhaps afraid she might follow Maria down the road to motherhood. 

“I’m just stating a fact Liz, nothing more.  I’m not here to pick a fight, or go over the same ground we’ve covered many times before.  I’m just saying you should take a break; have a few days off to recharge your batteries or something.  It’s not like you’ve got a major project your personally responsible for on the go at the moment.  Just think about it, ok?”

“Ok, I’ll think about it.”  Liz conceded, knowing he wouldn’t be happy until she did.

“Come on, lay down on me.  You should get some rest while you can, this could take a while.”  He encouraged, patting his lap in encouragement. 

Not that it actually took a lot of persuasion; she did feel dead on her feet.  Lying out along the seats, head resting on his lap with feet tucked up underneath her, Liz couldn’t stifle the yawn that escaped past her lips. 

Her husband’s soft fingers running through her long hair had a relaxing effect, inducing more sleepy yawns.  Staying power was normally her biggest trait, but not now, not after nearly six hours sitting, waiting and wondering how long it would be.  It wasn’t that Liz blamed Maria, she was fully aware these things took time, but still …. Six hours! 

A reasoned voice chided that she didn’t have to be there, she was choosing too.  And she wanted to, she wanted to be a part of the amazing miracle unfolding in the room next door.  Although, judging by the screams and yelling Liz wasn’t actually sure it was a miracle she wanted to be an active part of any time soon. 

As he headed out of the room, Liz heard his feet scuff along the worn lino.  Lifting her head slightly, her eyes collided with Michael’s, the look on his face one of tiredness, a little worry and a touch of exasperation.  No words were required to be exchanged; she knew why he was out in the corridor again. 

Not for the first time …. Or the fifth time …. that night he had obviously been banished to the benches by an emotional Maria.  Sitting down in a seat opposite her, Liz gave him a consoling smile, knowing he’d be right back in with Maria in moments when she called for him again.

“You ok babe?”  Max queried softly, gently lowering his lips to kiss the side of her forehead. 

“Yeah ….. sleepy.”  She responded, twisting her head to look up into his soulful amber eyes. 

“Get some rest then.”  He said smiling down at his wife.  “I don’t think anything’s gonna happen for a while, and I can always wake you if necessary.”  

“But ……”  Liz protested with little weight.

“Shhh ….. Sleep babe.”  He insisted stroking her hair once more, soothing and relaxing her body. 

How did he do it?  How did he know the very thing to make her sleep?  How did he know her every weakness every small thing to reduce her to mush?  Then again, he was her husband, the man she was totally committed to spending the rest of her life with.  As waves of sleepiness washed over her tired body, she couldn’t think of a better place to be … drifting off to sleep in Max’s arms.

Through heavy lidded eyes, a dreamy haze swallowed her fatigue filled body.  Swirling around like a misty cloud, the hospital waiting room slowly disappeared, transporting her back to a dream paradise.  Inside moments she slipped in to a relaxing doze, the feel of Max’s fingers caressing her hair sending all worries a million miles away.

Watching Michael, head bowed against upturned palms, Max couldn’t help feeling a little sorry for him.  Clearly, no matter what his friend did, Michael was in the wrong in Maria’s eyes at that moment.  Then again, to Max, Michael just being there was right enough.  Worry lines creased Michael’s brow as he lifted his head to grimly smile at Max, before roughly dragging his fingers through his scruffy hair.  A cried sob from Maria rang out moments later, sending Michael scurrying quickly back to her room. 

Smiling inwardly to himself, Max let his eyes drop down to gaze over his beautiful sleeping wife.  She looked exhausted, even in her dozing state, and it pleased him Liz had slipped into relaxation so easily.

She was working far too hard, he’d told her so many times, but it was like talking to the proverbial brick wall.  Since their return from honeymoon nearly three months previously, he felt like he’d barely seen her apart from weekends. 

Of course he knew it was as much his fault as Liz’s, he too had been working all hours on a new project.  But she shouldn’t have to; Jim was working her too hard Max thought.  Despite his protests when Jeff had said Liz shouldn’t have to work, Max silently felt the same.  Not necessarily not working at all, although they scarcely needed the money that she brought in.  No, in Max’s eyes she shouldn’t have to work as hard as she previously had, and certainly not to the point where it was making her ill.

His silent thoughts were also slightly selfish he conceded.  Having Liz working less was partly for her own health, but also had an underlying ulterior motive.  For the first time in his life that he could remember, he envied his best friend and work colleague.

It wasn’t that the thought of Liz writhing around a hospital bed in agony appealed to him, it didn’t.  In fact he didn’t know if he’d possess the superhuman strength Michael was displaying.  Just the mere thought of Liz in discomfort or pain was too much for Max.  No, all Max wanted was the end result of all the screaming and smarting.  A baby, plain and simple.

The subject of ‘if’, let alone ‘when’, hadn’t even been broached by the young couple since Hawaii.  Oh he knew it wasn’t going to be easy for them to conceive, or perhaps even possible, but just having hope that Liz wanted a child as much as his heart desired it would be enough.

Broaching the subject with Liz was a totally different matter though.  Oh they could talk about business, love, even sex, but children were silently off limits.  He didn’t know why, it was almost an unwritten rule, a topic that was never discussed.  Max assumed it was because she was silently afraid, in case they never had children together.  Perhaps talking would get hopes up that would only be dashed in the long run. 

They’d been married for not even three months, and although he had everything he wanted in the world, he still desired more.  Man was he selfish, Max thought.  Couldn’t he just be happy and thankful for the wonderful life that had been lavished upon him? 

Liz’s stirrings brought him out of his daze, and looking down he stroked her silky hair once more.  Watching her slip back into a deep sleep he smiled again, his mind drifting back to its previous thoughts.

What would a child of theirs look like?  Would a son take after him, a short mop of dark brown hair, chiselled facial features and dark amber eyes that changed colours as often as a chameleon?  And what if they had a cute little button of a daughter?  Would she look like his beautiful wife?  Have silk spun brown locks, deeply penetrating chocolate eyes with milky clear skin and a smile big enough to brighten any darkened room?

In his heart he knew, no matter what the child looked like, whomever of them they took after, he would fall hopelessly in love with the bundle of joy.  His own childhood had been immensely happy after Diane and Philip had adopted Max and Isabelle, and he desired to lavish such wonders and love on his own child in the not too distant future. 

But he knew well and true that Liz wasn’t like most women.  Her career was of vital importance; her need to prove something to herself was still vibrantly strong.  Giving up her freedom and perhaps much of her job to care for their child wasn’t something he expected her to do with ease. 

Stroking the edge of her cheek, he stared at her sleeping form, the feel of her chest rising and lowering against his leg comforting.  He could suppress his desire for a family if it meant not upsetting Liz though.  Instead he could just be more than thankful they had finally got to this point in their relationship ….. a happily married couple.

The lusty cries of a newly born rudely awakened from sleeping slumbers penetrated through the quiet corridor, filling the waiting room.  A sixth sense seemed to ignite Liz’s brain as she woke instantly.  Bolting upright she looked at Max a little startled at first.

“Was that …….?”  She trailed off, still a touch disorientated by the sudden awakening.

“Good question …….”  Max started, looking towards Maria’s room before he was interrupted.

“It’s a boy!”  A jubilant Michael, a huge beaming smile decorating his mouth, declared as he stuck his head around the door to Maria’s room.

Liz jumped to her feet and dashed towards the room, leaving Max in her wake.  For a few moments he felt the loss of her body.  One moment she’d been sleeping peacefully on his lap, thoughts of their own possible family circling his brain, and then suddenly she was gone.  Blinking he shook his head to regain a grip on reality. 

Following her trail, he crossed the corridor towards the room, pausing just inside the doorway.  The sight inside brought stinging tears of emotion to his eyes, a lump rapidly forming in his throat.

Liz stood nearside to Maria’s bed, her head bent over the bundle swaddled in white fluff, cradled tenderly in their friend’s arms.  Soft coos and ahhs were omitted, Liz clearly enthralled by the newborn boy. 

“Max, come and look.”  Liz said eagerly tears brimming her eyes as she encouraged him out of the doorway.  Slowly crossing the room, he stepped in behind his wife, encircling his arms around her waist and peering over her shoulder at the sleeping tot with bright pink skin. 

“Congratulations guys.”  He finally said, pushing the words past the lump in his throat.  The look of awe and amazement on Michael’s face clearly showing his emotions to the event.  “So, have you decided on a name?” 

“Yeah, we’re going to call him Mackenzie, after Michael’s father.”  Maria said, glancing up at her tot’s father to see the happiness in his face.

“That’s a beautiful name.”  Liz responded, stretching out a finger to touch Mackenzie’s soft skin.

Watching Liz smile sweetly as she cooed over Mackenzie tugged firmly at Max’s heartstrings.  Clearly she didn’t have an affliction to babies in general, just perhaps her own.  Watching her tenderly stroke the newborn’s cheek, the sparkle dancing in her still tired eyes, his mind went over familiar ground.

It was late by the time they got home, a little after 11.30pm.  Clearly baby Mackenzie had his father’s knack for arriving late down to a tee already.  Pulling into the driveway of his house Max glanced over towards Liz’s sleeping form.  The thought of waking her niggled him, she looked so peaceful and god knew she needed the rest. 

Opening the front door, he headed back to the car, releasing Liz’s seat belt and sweeping her into his arms with barely a stir.  Quietly pushing the front door with his foot, he started up the stairs in his house towards the master bedroom. 

It still amazed him how easily Liz had given up her own apartment and moved into his just before their wedding.  He’d thought she would have wanted to find a place together, but she’d countered the wedding was stressful enough.  They certainly didn’t need to add trying to find a new place and then moving into the equation when his place was more than adequate.

Laying her out on the bed she stirred for a moment, flickering open her eyes to stare into his.

“Max?”  She croaked.

“Shh babe, we’re home now.  Just go back to sleep.”  He encouraged, stroking her forehead for a moment to help her drift back to her dreams. 

Once he was convinced she was sufficiently asleep, he carefully removed her shoes, jeans and then slipped off her blouse.  Sleeping in her underwear would suffice for one night; he didn’t want to risk waking her again.  Stripping down to his boxers, Max slipped under the cool white sheets before pulling Liz’s sleeping form into his arms and resting her head against his chest.  She snuggled into his embrace as if it was second nature, a movement that brought a smile to his lips.

He’d planned to talk to her about their own possible plans for a family, he’d thought it would be perfect after her joy at seeing Maria with Mackenzie.  He’d hoped, subconsciously, that maybe some of the motherly instinct would have rubbed off, maybe catching Liz off guard to face feelings she hadn’t known were there. 

But that particular plan had been thwarted; he couldn’t wake her now she was sleeping so soundly.  So instead he laid awake for what seemed like forever, thinking about what it would be like to have a family of his own. 

In his mind he pictured Liz sitting in a pine rocking chair, feeding their dozing tot with only the dancing moonlight to decorate her skin with a silver glow.  He pictured her gazing down at their child feasting on her as Maria had with Mackenzie.  The awe and amazement in her soulful brown eyes mixed with a magnitude of love for the tiny being. 

And as he slowly slipped into a restless sleep in the small hours of the morning, images and thoughts of the babies they might have in the future danced around like a collage of pictures and images swirling into one. 

PART 38

Pulling up outside the whitewash house with the perfectly lined white picket fence and yellow brick pathway framed by groomed flower blooms on either side, she paused to catch a breath. 

Over the months since Mackenzie’s birth, her regular once a week visit to Maria had swiftly leant into three times and talking every other day on the phone.  Liz hadn’t expected to miss her wacky blond secretary so much, but she did.  And Mackenzie was just adorable and Liz was smitten by him.  If she even missed one visit he seemed to have grown so much by the next time and she hated that.

“Hi Liz!”  Maria cried, opening the door.

“Hi there.”  Liz replied, hugging her friend.  “How are you?”

“I’m fine, sleep deprived but apart from that …. You?”

“I’m great.”  Liz replied, stepping into the kitchen.

“How’s work?  No new takeovers or projects I hope?”  Maria queried, filling up the kettle.  “Coffee?”

“That would be great, thanks.”  Liz replied, sitting down.  “Nope, nothing new.  Things are pretty quiet right now, except for everything Jim’s getting me involved in.  If I didn’t know better I’d think he was afraid I might get board and think of leaving or something.”

“Perhaps he’s afraid of losing you?”  Maria threw in casually.

Switching on the kettle, and taking out two cups, Maria turned to study her friend and boss. True there had been a time when they weren’t necessarily more than work colleagues, but that had been long before Max Evans had burst on to the scene.  Things were a lot different now, Liz was her best friend, and someone Maria could tell absolutely anything.  She just hoped Liz could do the same and confide in her if something was troubling.

“You sure you’re ok?  Work not getting you down?”  Maria queried, pulling out a chair and studying Liz’s tired face.

“Only in the way that there’s nothing really to do.  Like I said Jim keeps thrusting work my way, but it’s nothing major.  You know me ‘Ria, I love being busy, being in the thick of things.  I guess right now my area of the business is just ticking over nicely.  The refurbishment plans of the hotels are well underway and need little supervision ….. everything’s making money hand over fist so James is happy …….…”  She trailed off.

“But you’re not?”

“I don’t know.”  She shrugged honestly.  “I guess I’m just not used to having so much time on my hands.  I guess I’m itching to sink my teeth in to something challenging again.”

“I’ll bet Max is pleased though with your lighter hours.  H’s been hankering for you to slow down for ages.  There was a moment there before Mac was born that I thought you might work yourself into the ground.”  Maria joked, the element of concern in her voice not altogether lost.

“Yeah Max is pleased.”  Liz confirmed.  “I mean we see more of each other now which is always a bonus.”

“But?”

“Oh I don’t know, I guess I’ve been involved in one project or another ever since I joined Amber.  If I wasn’t planning a new take over I was assessing new ways to make more money or improving our marketing strategy.  I guess I just feel a little lost with all this time I’ve now got.”

“You sound like you need a hobby.”

“Yeah, maybe I do.”  Liz grinned, a light laugh filling the room.

“Oh well if that’s it then I can offer you the perfect solution.”  Maria informed in all seriousness.

“Oh yeah?  What’s that?”

“Start a family.”  She grinned.  “There’s nothing like an attention seeking baby to occupy spare time!”  She added. 

As if on queue, the route of the conversation voiced sounds that he was awake, and ready to become centre of attention once more.

“See!”  Maria exclaimed happily, proving her point but eagerly jumping up to bring Mackenzie out.

Feeling slightly at a loose end, Liz heard the click of the boiled kettle and decided to finish the coffee for Maria.  Absentmindedly she filled the coffee cups with water, before headed towards the fridge to find some milk.  By the time she located the carton and swung round, Maria was back, babe in arms.

“There now, all better sweetie.” Maria cooed, patting the youngster’s back as the little mite whimpered sleepily. 

“Everything ok?”  Liz queried, placing a coffee cup in front of her friend before sitting down.

“Yeap, clean nappy and a cuddle can do wonders for a sleepy baby.”  Maria grinned.  “Now, where was I …. Ah yes, convincing you to start a family!”

“Maria …..”  Liz started, caution filling her voice.  She certainly didn’t need lectures about when she was going to have her own bundle of joy from her best friend.  It was a low simmering joke between them; Maria had been trying to convince her from the moment Mac had been born.  Up until now Liz had done her best to avoid the situation, to evade all of Maria’s persuasion. 

“Oh live a little Liz …. And humour me ok.  Trust me when I say it’s an amazing ride raising a child.  I know you’d make a great mother, and Max would be bowled over with a son or daughter of his own.”

“I don’t doubt Max would be a great father, although I can’t directly comment on if he has given fatherhood much thought.  But I’m committed to my job Maria …… you of all people should know that.”  Liz reminded her. 

“Yes but you said it yourself, work’s slow right now.  You’re bored nothing is happening and starting to get itchy feet.  It’s the perfect opportunity … you should seize it.”  Maria countered.

“Oh yeah, and I can just imagine Jim’s reaction if I strolled in and asked for eight months off for maternity leave!”  Liz laughed, covering Maria’s words with a joke.  Inside though, she couldn’t deny the tiny burst of flutters scurrying in her stomach.  Where they’d come from though, she didn’t have a clue.

“Ok you’d shock him initially I won’t deny.  But he’d be stoked for you deep down and you know it Liz.  Ok so it would mean he’d have to do some more work, start shouldering some of your responsibility, but heck why not.  You practically run that place for him, but he is the boss for goodness sake!  He should stop relying on you so much and take charge once in a while.”

“You know I love running Amber Inns for Jim, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  My job is to make his life easier, Jim’s the boss and it’s called delegation Maria!”  Liz whipped, her eyes dancing with playfulness.  “But seriously, Mac is really sweet but I don’t think I’m quite ready for that level of responsibility just yet.”  Liz countered as the little boy grasped hold of her finger and pulled it towards his gummy mouth. 

“See, he likes you.  You’re a natural at this mummy business.  Here, hold him for a minute will you.”  Her friend said before lifting the six-month-old tot towards Liz.

Taking hold of his wriggling body somewhat gingerly, Liz positioned him on her crossed knee, while the youngster watched his mother disappear out of the room.  Mackenzie’s brilliant blue eyes stared up at Liz, tears welling slightly at the lack of finding his mother’s calming face.  He wriggled and writhed, trying to slip to the floor so he could follow Maria.  Grasping him more firmly, Liz battled against the strong willed youngster, trying her best to keep him firmly on her knee.

“Shhh, it’s ok sweetheart.”  Liz said, trying to stop the flood of tears that were threatening.  Feeling the youngster warm on her lap, staring into his innocent, unspoilt eyes, tugged at Liz’s heartstrings.  She didn’t need Maria’s sales pitch to know her feelings on having a child. 

Those particular feelings were scary and uncharted.  Buried deep inside her under tight lock and key.  Feelings she wasn’t sure she was brave enough to face just yet.  Confronting who she was and where her life was now leading wasn’t something Liz was ready to do at that moment.

Driving home from Maria’s house, her best friend’s words swirled around the deep recesses of her brain.  Holding Mac had been like sweet torture to Liz, the little boy was so infectiously cute.  So Maria thought she would make a good mother?  Well, who knew?  How did one assess if they really were parent material?  What if she didn’t have the patience, or the knowledge or emotion to handle a child solely dependent on her?  All her life Liz had relied on other people, her parents bringing her up in a sheltered life.  Not until Kyle’s death had she learnt to be strong, to stand on her own feet and survive in the world.  What if being responsible for another life, a tiny one at that, was too much for her to cope with?

One thing she was sure about though, was Maria’s comments on Max.  He would make a good father, Liz was convinced on that.  He had all the right attributes, a calm, cool temper, love in abundance and the ability to make someone feel loved and protected.  Although she didn’t know one hundred percent for sure, she was pretty positive Max wouldn’t be upset or angry if she did want a child.  But did she really want to be a mother?  Would it really be the magical experience Maria made it out to be?  Oh sure Maria pitched motherhood as a wondrous, glory ride, but that didn’t mean Liz had it in her to be a good mother.  

He stomach flipped as she pulled into a free parking bay in front of the pharmacy.  Was she really doing this?  Was this really happening? 

She, the normally totally in control Liz Evans was actually going to go inside and scan the shelves for a test.  She was probably over reacting, it was probably nothing, but there were still a million and one butterflies scurrying around in her unsettled, slightly queasy stomach. 

She was late, not normally a major problem or reason to panic, but it felt different this time.  She’d never got worried before, but perhaps this time she was more aware since work wasn’t sufficient to distract her.  She’d conducted major business deals; even stared down shark style businessmen, she could do this.  She could walk right in, obtain her purchase and walk straight out with head held high.  This wasn’t the big deal her stomach was making it out to be. 

Shedding her jacked and dropping it haphazardly on the bed, she looked towards the brown paper bag and the object hidden inside.  Her stomach did an involuntary flip, a mix between apprehension, fear and a tiny touch excitement.  Slipping a hand to her midriff, she rubbed her palm rhythmically, in an attempt to quell the feeling.

Doing the test would take courage though, and the normally ‘full of courage’ Liz Evans fell all out of that necessity.  Sucking in a breath, she reached for the bag to remove the contents before turning on her heal and heading towards the en suite bathroom with purpose in her step.  She was going to do it.  No more waiting, no more praying, just action!

Just as she stepped inside, the sound of the bedroom phone rang out loud, filling the house.  The shrill ring cut through her body, nerves shot as she visibly jumped at the unexpected sound.  She didn’t reach for it though, instead closed the bathroom door to the unwanted sound. 

She didn’t want to talk to anyone, not now she’d finally got the courage up to do the damn test.  Besides, it was only likely to be Jim or someone from work needing her help, and she wasn’t up for it, not then, not now.  She couldn’t conduct business; give advice or such with a test burning the palm of her hand like a live ignited explosive.  Her mind was definitely on more important, more immediate matters. 

Clicking the cancel button on his mobile, Max tossed it on the passenger seat, watching it land in the centre of his open briefcase.  Glancing in his rear mirror, Max shifted down gear before putting his foot to the pedal and pulling out into the right lane. 

His meeting had ended nearly forty minutes ago, and he was secretly pleased with the outcome.  It had been hard work but more than a little productive.  He’d hoped Liz would be in by now, but then again as he glanced at the clock in his car, it was only just past 4.30pm.  She was likely to be holed up at work, maybe in an important meeting or something for Jim.  He wanted to talk to her though, wanted to hear her sweet, sexy voice. 

He was on a high, and he wanted to share it with his young wife.  Max’s plan was to wine and dine Liz before sweeping her off her feet and into their welcoming bed.  Firstly take her out to an expensive restaurant and exchange polite chitchat while gazing lovingly into her eyes.  Then he would take her home and make sweet love to her as if they were the only two on the earth.  His needs were straightforward and true at that moment; he wanted Liz plain and simple. 

But she wasn’t in, and his mind wondered what to do now.  He could go ahead and book a table at one of their regular restaurant jaunts, but which one?  Eating out was a regular occurrence for them, both enjoying the company and lack of washing up afterwards. 

Of course there was the thought Liz might not appreciate him just booking something to consider.  She had been more touchy than normal over the previous couple of weeks he conceded.  The route of her moods escaped him even though he could usually read Liz like a glass book.  Perhaps work was kicking her butt, or Jim was putting extra pressure since Maria wasn’t around to help her out.  Whatever it was he made a mental note to talk to her over dinner, to find out what was troubling his young wife.  A problem shared was always the best policy his mother used to say.

Shifting down gear once more, Max glanced around before swerving into the next lane and urging the car forward.  Oh how he loved driving his Lamborghini Diablo!  Boys with toys always had fun, and he was no exception. 

Perching on the edge of the bathroom, her shaky hands gently turned the small oblong box over so she could survey the contents. She still couldn’t believe she’d bought it, memories of the stares and glares in the drug store burning her thoughts.  Of course it had all been in her mind, but Liz had felt that every one in the store had noticed her purchase.

All she needed now was the courage to open the box and remove the contents.  It was a feat that seemed to require great strength to Liz, power she wasn’t sure she possessed.  It seemed like it would take a monumental effort to open the sealed end of the small box.  She wasn’t even sure why she’d bought it.  There were no real obvious signs she needed it, just a gut feeling and perhaps a little hope or dread also. 

Taking a deep breath, she tried to muster all the strength she possessed inside.  A brief glance at the instructions and she finally felt ready as ever to press on.

Placing the small white object on the sink, Liz tentatively glanced as her watch.  Two minutes, she thought, two minutes and her world could be turned upside down for good.

Liz knew in her heart she’d be lying if she said thoughts of a child with Max hadn’t crossed her mind.  The thought seemed to come more and more frequently recently, especially around Maria’s bundle of joy.  It surprised her though, before Max she hadn’t even give children a second thought.  But then again it seemed to be just one more good influence Max had inflicted on her life.

She had known there was a possibility she wouldn’t be able to bear children with her medical condition, but it seemed they’d had luck on their side.  At least that’s what the gnawing feeling in her gut seemed to indicate.

Even though discussions about starting a family had gone largely untouched, she knew they had been lax at times when it came to taking precautions.  Just the thought of the possibility made her stomach lurch.

The waiting seemed endless; Liz had never known two minutes to stretch for what seemed like eternity.  The mere thought of what she was waiting for made her stomach churn once more, a sick feeling slowly starting to rise from the pit of her stomach upwards.

Dragging in a deep breath, Liz stretched over to pick up a glass tumbler resting on the sink.  She hoped several mouthfuls of cold water might help to calm her queasy stomach.

In doing so though, Liz’s eyes involuntarily drifted towards the white testing kit, and more importantly the dark blue line that shone out very clearly.

A loud clanking, and subsequent shattering sound filled the silent bathroom, as Liz dropped the glass beaker totally oblivious to the hundreds of shards of glass that now decorated the sink and floor. 

Blinking her eyes quickly she tried to determine if what she saw as the results of the test were, in fact, true.  Tears welled once more in her still damp eyes, slowly slipping down her cheeks with ease.  She stood there and stared for a few moments, unable to take it in.

Her shaky knees gave way and she quickly slipped down on to the closed toilet.  Lifting her hands to her face, she allowed the tears to fall faster and harder, allowing her emotions to take over and consume her.

Everything was rapidly becoming so complicated, such a mess for her all of a sudden.  When had her life become so confusing, taking such a vicious twist?  When had her goals and ambitions in life been shifted so abruptly?

TBC ..............................?

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