Disclaimer: I do not own any of the ER characters.

Hearts Desire

John continued to look down at the piece of paper. Lucy could tell by the way he didn’t answer her or lookup, that it was bad news. And that John was right about having Leukaemia. Lucy walked over to John and placed one of her hands on his shoulder. “John!” John finally looks up to Lucy and there were tears in his eyes. “Oh John”. Lucy didn’t like watching him being so upset, she needed to comfort him and if she didn’t soon, she knew that she would be crying. She places one of her hands on his face and brings him closer to her and kisses him.

After the kiss he wraps his arms round her waist ad hugs her tightly. “Lucy!” “Yes John” “You will be here for me? I mean I still want to be with you, that’s if you still want to be with me?” “John, did you really have to ask, of course I be there for you and don’t be so stupid I love you and I do want to be with you, more then anything in the world. Why would you think that you having leukaemia would change that?” He looked down into her eyes and saw only love in them, so he decided to answer her question with honesty “Because I will get extremely ill, and I thought you would think ‘I should be living my life instead of caring for someone who’s really ill’.” Lucy Laughs at the answer, “John kind of a stupid answer that is. I work in a hospital, I’m around a lot of sick people everyday and you are not going to be sick forever you will get better and we will be together.” John smiles he knew she was right, “well the first thing I should do is to get a bone marrow tap, and find out what type of Leukaemia I will be dealing with.” All Lucy could do was nod with agreement. John took one of his hands and placed it on her hair, and started to gently stoke her hair. She glances up at John and they stare at each other for a while. “Luce, I love you” “I love you too.” They are about to kiss, when the door of lounge opened, Lucy and John turn round ton see Jerry and Carol standing there.

As John turned around Carol could tell he had been crying and that there was something wrong. Carol wanted to say something like I told you them two were together, but she couldn’t say a thing. Jerry was the one to say something “Oh man we knew something was going on!!” And he quickly darted out of the door to the reception desk. Carol just stared at John and Lucy, she wanted to know why John had been crying. “Carter, what’s wrong? And don’t try and lie I know when your lying.” John sat down on the couch and Lucy followed him and sat down, “Okay now what is it?” She said getting a little impatient of having to wait for an answer to her question. John lowered his head into his hands not knowing how to start telling carol. John breathed deeply in and out and slowly raised his head to look at carol. “Carol, I have Leukaemia!” She gasped more surprised at this news than seeing them two nearly kissing. “Do…do…you know what kind of leukaemia you have?” “Not ject I’m about to go and get a biopsy. Carol can you please not tell anyone ject not until I know what exactly is going on. And until I have time to tell Dr weaver and Dr Greene.” In no more than a whisper she answered “Of course”.

Mean while at the reception desk.

“What did you just say? I wasn’t really concentrating on the conversion when I realised you were talking abut Carter and Lucy. I thought you were going to say they were fighting, not nearly kissing! I did hear you right?” Chuni said questioning what he just them, she knew thy liked each other because when she caught them in exam 6, then they weren’t nearly kissing but were kissing. After she caught them there been a pot on them two of then would they get together, but that was nearly a year ago now. And since then it just seemed to cool down between them two very quickly. “Yes, they were holding each other tightly and their lips were about to touch each other when me and Carol walked in.” Randy was the next to speck she was curious of who won the money in the pot. “So Jerry how much money was in the pot?” Jerry stood there thinking back as he wasn’t sure, “between $200-$250!” “Wow as much as that! So who won?” “Dr Greene.” Everyone looked at Jerry direction they knew Dr Greene liked placing money down on who was to get together in the ER. But they all thought is time he wouldn’t place a bet on Carter and Lucy because it was against hospital policy for them to be together. Well maybe he was betting because he knew it was going to happen and knew he couldn’t stop them.

The door of the lounge opened and they looked and saw carter was walking out. They just stared and carter knew why they were, so he turned round to tem smiled and said “Don’t you have anything to do?” They all replied at the same time. “Not really” Carter chuckled and finished by saying “I thought so!!” and he finally went towards the lifts to get the biopsy.

Meanwhile back in the lounge.

The second the door closed behind John, Lucy started to sob. She walked over to the couch and dropped down on to it. And she started to really cry, Carol knew exactly how she felt she wanted to start crying as well but she was still in stock about the whole situation.

Lucy started to speck, “why did this have to happen?” Carol didn’t say anything, she didn’t have an answer, and she so wanted to wish it was all a dream. “Oh, look at me, crying I promised myself I wouldn’t start crying for John’s sake. I need to seem strong about this.” She just stared at Carol wishing she Carol would say something. “Lucy, you do need to be strong, but that doesn’t mean you can’t cry. You need to let out how you fell! And he will have to know, even just to let him know you care.” Carol walked over to her locker and got some tissue and gave it to Lucy. “Thank you” Carol looked at Lucy she noticed Lucy called Carter John, which Carter didn’t like unless he deeply cared for that person, and he didn’t seem to care Lucy calling him John, Wow she thought. Obviously Lucy cared deeply for Carter, she still wanted to know how much. But she didn’t know if she should ask, it was kind of a rude question to ask, oh what the heck I will ask. “Lucy, how much do you like Carter?” Lucy looked down at her hands, which were starting to tremble; she couldn’t hide to fact from carol now that she really did care for John deeply. “Carol promise you won’t tell anyone!” Lucy looked at her pleadingly, Carol knew what Lucy was about to say meant Carter and Lucy could get in trouble and she couldn’t do that to them. “Of course I promise.” Lucy signed heavily she couldn’t believe she was going to tell someone and from the hospital. “I love John carol, I really do so much. John is my best and closest friend I have. He has helped me though so much. And last night we both realised we love each other.” Carol knew they liked each other a lot but didn’t think they loved each other. “You sure its love and not just like each other really a lot?” Lucy looked sincerely at Carol and starred straight into her eyes so Carol could tell that they were in love and not infatuated with each other. “Yes Carol we are in love.” One look at Lucy and carol knew she was telling the truth. “Lucy, why don’t you dry your eyes, splash some water on your face and go out see some patients, to take your mind off of this thing with Carter!” Lucy nodded agreeing with Carol. “Okay, I’ll be going now then why don’t you once dealt with yourself find me and I can help you while Carter’s upstairs.” Lucy nodded again “Thanks Carol, I don’t think I would have been able to hold all is in without getting myself ill. I’m glad I can’t talk to someone about this?” “Your welcome and you know if you need to talk about anything my door is always open. Especially if it includes information about you and Carter, after all I am the only one who knows officially about you two!!” Carol turned around and walked out of the lounge door, she knew she was going to be bombarded with questions about Carter and Lucy. But she was determined to keep their secret, as they needed each other now more then ever. Lucy took in what Carol just said and was working out what she meant. Then it dawned on her Jerry also walked in on them nearly kissing now there would be rumours and gossip about them two being together, again. She remember all the gossip going around last time when Chuni caught them kissing in exam 6 that lasted for months she was wondering now long it will last this time.

Up at the Oncology department.

John was waiting in the oncology department’s waiting room; there were a few patients before him waiting for biopsies. For every minute he waited the more nervous and scared he got. A part of him didn’t want to believe what was happening and hoping it was a dream. And the other half was realising how serious it was and imaging the worst-case scenario ‘No don’t start that line of thinking you always tell patients not too and to be positive always helps with the situation’ John said to himself. A doctor came out of a room and had a chart in his hands. “John Carter.” John rose to his feet, he didn’t realised how difficult it was going to be, he wanted Lucy for support. “Right is way Mr Carter,” and stepped into a room and closed the door once John was in the room. “Dr Weatherspoon, my title is actually Dr.” Dr Weatherspoon looks up at John, “So you work there, Dr Carter?” “Yes, down in the ER.” “So I don’t have to explain to you what the procedure entails” John smiled “No Dr Weatherspoon.” Dr Weatherspoon was glad to hear that, sometimes he found himself like a trained monkey. As he always had to say the same thing to everyone who came though his door. “So Dr Carter it says there your there for a bone marrow biopsy. So why don’t change into a grown and then lay on the bed on your side.” John nodded and went to change in the room next door. “Dr Carter I forgot to ask, are you allergic to lignocaine?” Dr Weatherspoon shouted so John could hear him in the next room. John walked back into the room, “No, Dr Weatherspoon” “Great” and taped on the bed indicating John to hop on. John hesitated for a while but decided quicker the better.

Lucy looked at herself in the mirror finally she looked like she hadn’t been crying. She signed Heavily and spoke aloud “time to mangle with the loins.” Lucy walked out of the lounge and everyone turned round and looked at her. The looks aimed at her made her feel uneasy. She looked for Carol amongst the people at the desk, she really needed Carol to be there she had a over whelming feeling that she was going to start crying again. Lucy slowly walked up to the reception desk, “Hi guys anyone seen…” Randy interrupted her before she could finish her sentence. “Carter!” Lucy just stared at her, “No, Carol!” Randy suddenly turned around she was so sure Lucy would what Carter, they always seemed to be either searching for each other or in each other’s shadows. “Come on Guys has anyone seen Carol?” Jerry peered from behind the magazine he was reading, “I think Dr Malucci needed her help in exam 4.” “Thanks” Lucy ran off into the direction of exam 4. “Jerry you are sure what you say you saw between Carter and Lucy actually happen?” Randy said impatiently to Jerry. “Yeah, why all the sudden are you doubting what I said I saw.” Chuni was the one to answer the question. “Because Carol stayed in the lounge with Carter and Lucy, and we asked her if what you saw was true and she said ‘what!! Jerry’s gone and ran away with his imagination again’. And Lucy seemed fine a minute ago.” Jerry was getting a little angry of what they just said, “You sure Carol said that, because she’s the one who told me she thought Lucy and Carter were together.” They all looked at each other and though ‘what could Carol be hiding from them about Carter and Lucy for her to lie to them.’

Lucy sure enough found Carol helping Malucci in Exam 4, she opened the door, and Carol noticed Lucy looked a lot better, but anyone could see there was something wrong. “Need any help? Carter’s doing something for a few hours” Without turning around Malucci answer her “sure, so what’s he doing?” Lucy was stunned by the question and she didn’t know how to answer. Carol was the one who helped to relief Lucy from answering the question. She could tell didn’t know what to say, and was scared to answer. “Carter’s helping me with some research, while it’s quite and nurses can’t leave their posts as often as doctors can.” Malucci didn’t ask her any more questions so she hoped he expected her answer. “So what can I help you with?” “If you could keep him still I need to do a spinal tap.” “Sure.”

After the biopsy John decided he couldn’t wait in the hospital for the results. He needed to clear his head and think about the immediate future. So he decided he go the only place he know he could think up on the roof. John walked over to the railing on the roof and looked out over the city. He slowly turned around and sat down on the floor with his back to the wall. He knew he would have to put his residency on hold, but he didn’t want to left his job right at this minute. He would be ill from the treatment for months, he would have to discuss the details of his future with Weaver and Greene when he tells them. And that also bother him even though he had known them for years he didn’t know how to break it to them.

Back down in the ER.

Chuni and randy left the desk and was heading towards the exam room Carol was in. They knew now Carol had lied to them, and they wanted to know why, they had an idea that she was keeping something a secret, which involved Carter and Lucy. Carol was just coming out of the room with Lucy as they approached the room. “Carol what’s going on? We know you were lying to us earlier about Carter and Lucy!!” Chuni said in a raised voice. Carol looked over at Lucy, and it seemed she was handling the situation quite well. Carol looked back at Chuni who was starting to get a little red in the face. She knew the reason for that was because she hadn’t given an answer straight away. “Sorry”, Carol said, she didn’t know why she said anything; she didn’t have to explain her actions. “Sorry!! That all!! So you admit you were lying?” Carol didn’t answer she had promised Lucy she wouldn’t say anything and she was intending to keep her promise. “Okay, you don’t have to say a thing all it does is prove our point. All we want to know is what’s so god damn important for you to keep quiet??” Carol stayed silent and Chuni knew she wasn’t going to get anything out of her. So she quickly turned around and walked back to the desk. Randy followed suit she was surprised she didn’t even open her month.

Carol turned to Lucy and said “Sorry I nearly opened my mouth and said everything! Its just so damn hard to keep it to myself.” Lucy just smiled that Carol, she knew what Carol was going though it was hard for her as well. “Thank you, anyway Carol, and you don’t have to worry much longer. John should have his results soon!” “Lucy?” “Yes” “I have only noticed something!” “What?” she said quite sharply and carol face turned to a smirk, “You are calling Carter, John at work!” Lucy’s face turned to a shocked expression, “I hadn’t noticed”, Lucy throw her hands in the air, “Oh well I suppose its too late to hind our relationship.” And she started to laugh and Carol joined in and started laughing.

John was sitting on the roof holding an envelope what he got from the oncology department 30 minutes before. He still hadn’t opened it knowing all to well it had his test results enclosed. He knew he should open it and get whatever leukaemia he had treated as soon as possible.

Lucy was at the reception desk glancing up at the clock and biting her nails. It ha been 2 hours since John went and got his biopsy, she knew he would of got his results by now. Carol walked up to the desk and looked in direction, whom she could tell was a nervous wreck and everyone could see that. “Any news ject Lucy? Lucy looked towards Carol, “No, doesn’t he know I would be worrying?” Everyone turned and starred at Lucy they so wanted to know whom she was talking about, as this person was making Lucy worried and unhappy. And they didn’t like seeing Lucy look like that. “Then Lucy why don’t you go and see him?” “I went up to the 4th floor his wasn’t there!” Carol smiled at Lucy she knew Carter would be on the roof, and deep down Lucy knew too but Lucy’s mind was being clouded by worry. “Lucy you know where he is! If his not up in oncology?” Lucy just looked at carol she wasn’t sure where it was she was talking about. “You know! Where I always seem to see you two, trying to get a private moment!” Lucy realised then ‘of course he be on the roof’. “Thanks Carol!” Lucy looked over at the board which seem to have hardly any ones name on it, so she turned to Dr Greene and said, “I’ll be back in about 20 minutes” “Sure but make sure its only 20 minutes Lucy! Oh and if you see Carter around tell him he better have a good excuse for missing the last two hours!!” Lucy nodded and headed for the lifts.

Dr Greene watched Lucy as she went towards the lifts, he turned around to the people standing behind the desk, “okay what’s wrong with Lucy?” Chuni answered Dr Greene bitterly “Ask Carol she knows everything about Carter and Lucy!” “What about Carter and Lucy?” “OH didn’t you know you won the pot on them two!” “Your joking right, I only placed a bet for fun!” Realising they weren’t joking he turned more serious, “I never actually thought Carter would ruin his Career. And I never thought he would ruin Lucy’s chance of being a doctor.” Jerry looked at Chuni and Randy what did he mean Lucy not becoming a doctor they all thought.

“What did you mean about Lucy, Mark?” Carol asked. “Well Lucy can be kicked out of medical school if the university ever found out.” Carol quickly starred at the others, “So you lot better stop these rumours about them being together. Or at less much sure the board doesn’t find out. Mark I need to talk to you privately” “Sure”. They walked towards the lounge.

“Mark please don’t say anything just listen” Mark kept silent waiting for carol to speck. “Okay. Are Carter and Lucy together? Yes, but I ensure you nothing more will came of their relationship while they are student and teacher. So please promise me you won’t tell the board about them two especially Weaver. You know how she is about rules and regulation.” Dr Greene and Carol just starred at each other, Mark told Carol he wouldn’t tell the board or weaver depending what she said was true. Carol thanked him and they went on with their work.

Lucy found John on the roof and in his hand was the envelope with his results, she could see from where she was standing that he hadn’t opened it ject. Lucy walks over to John and sits down beside him and puts one of her arms round his shoulders. “So, that’s the results?” John nodded, “When why haven’t you opened the envelope?” John looked at Lucy, “Because I’m scared of what it will say! Will you opened it for me?” Lucy was taken back by the request; she took the envelope and opened it. “John I don’t think I will be able to read. I’m sorry!” “Its okay I know how you feel.” They sat in silence just looking at the opened envelope, both of them to scared to read the letter inside. “Okay, I have an idea how about we both read it at the same time, that way we ca support each other!!” John liked Lucy’s idea and they both took the letter out and readied the results. Lucy couldn’t believe what she readied he had AML which was pretty rare for his age group, and hard to recover from. The water just started to well up he her eyes she didn’t want to cry. She kept telling herself not to cry, but she could stop it she wanted to seem strong. “Oh Lucy!” John took both of his arms and wrapped them around her chest, and he held her until she stopped crying. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I started crying I know I didn’t want to!” “Maybe you started crying because the one you love has a difficult road ahead. And its been building up inside of you for some hours and you can’t kept it in any more. I don’t blame you for crying I probably would have been crying too, if I hadn’t cry myself out already.” Lucy smiled at John she wanted to laugh but couldn’t. Lucy suddenly shoot up on her feet, “Luce what’s wrong?” “John what’s the time?” “It’s 4pm, why?” “Oh god I late I told Dr Greene I was only gone to be 20 minutes, and its been 40 minutes!” John smiled and slowly got up on to his feet, “well then we better get you down stairs, I better meet with Weaver and Greene, explain why I missed most of today and, why I can’t be your teacher anymore!” Lucy smiled back, “And that’s how you going to break it to them that you have Leukaemia, that you no longer can be my teacher?” He placed on of his arms round her shoulder and walked towards the roof door. “Well it was one of my ideas! But I do have more I can tell them, but that’s the one I’m going to tell them first because I need your support as my girlfriend not just a friend or just some one at work. I love you and I need you.” He turned round to face Lucy and told her he loved her again, and they kissed before going back down to the ER.

“Where the Hell is Lucy, I told her 20 minutes?” Jerry looked round the reception area, and was about to say I don’t know. When from the corner of his eye he saw her walking off the lift with Carter, and could see she had been crying. “I’m she just coming out of the lift Dr Greene with Carter.” Dr Greene turned and saw Jerry was right and walked towards the two of them. “Where the hell have you two been?” Dr Greene suddenly calmed down when he saw the state Lucy was in, “Okay what’s going on? You okay Lucy? Has he upset you again?” Looking towards Carter when he said it. “No he hasn’t but if you don’t mind I’m going to the bathroom.” “Of course.” And Lucy went on her way. Dr Greene looked at John and was about to say something when John spoke, “Dr Greene I know you are probably wondering where I have been all day! And I will explain, but I have I ask a request?” Dr Greene nodded for Carter to continue, “Well you heard probably heard about what happen between me and Lucy early, but that’s not the main reason I am going to ask you this. Let me get this straight it is one of the reason, but not the main one!” “So what you trying to say?” “I request, no I tell you I can no longer be Lucy teacher.” “So, its true you have gone and fallen in love with your med student!” “Yes I love Lucy, but that’s not the reason I am requesting not to be Lucy’s teacher, actual I will no longer to be able to work in the hospital!” Dr Greene was shocked to hear what Carter had just said, if Lucy wasn’t the main reason, then what was, and why did it mean he would leave the hospital. “Are you okay John? That’s the only reason I can think that you would leave the hospital for!” “No, I’m not well I have just been diagnosed with Acute Myeloblastic Leukaemia!”

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To Be Continued……….

I would like to thank my friend Laura for helping me edit some of my stories.

And if you like to visit my website please go to www.angelfire.com/tv2/erfiction